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The Secret to Making Lasting Changes

Hey Boo!

Think you can’t change? Many of us already know that we need to improve our state of well-being in order to extend our lives as we age. Making changes is traditionally difficult, but the good news is that it’s never too late to make changes for the better. The first step is to understand what’s important to you, and then determine the choices and decisions that represent where you want to be. Maybe you want to start a new career, lose weight, stop smoking or start exercising. Whatever the change is, be sure you understand why you want to make the change.

Take a moment to think about a time in your life when you made a successful change or developed a new habit. What was your motivation for the change? What was your attitude at the time? What obstacles or barriers did you have to overcome? Your level of readiness to change will determine how successful you are, and how much time it will take. Once you make the decision to change, you must practice that new behavior one day at a time until it becomes a habit – a lasting change.

Embracing the concept of change is a big thing, because interestingly, many people think they don’t have a choice when it comes to change. But why is that? For some it’s fear, guilt, love, pain, time management, or even tradition. What motivates one person may not be the same thing that gets another person to act. Everyone reacts differently to changes, whether voluntary or mandatory.

To start making a change, let go of certain assumptions or ways of doing things, to make room for new ideas. Work on this one day at a time until you feel comfortable.

To make a lasting change, you start wherever you are and stretch a tiny bit more each time. If you fall off the wagon, or experience resistance, identify the cause or circumstances— who you were with, where you were, or your emotional state. The key is to get up and get back on the path again. You may go forward and backward a few times because making a lasting change is challenging and takes consistency and trial and error. Your level of readiness to change will determine how successful you are, and how much time it will take. But you need to be ready, able and willing to make change happen.

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

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Shifting Negatives Into Positives

Hey Boo!

If you want to move your life ahead, you should replace the negatives in your life with positives.  This article will show you how to take the negative influences in your life away and replace them with positives, so you will have increases in morale, and productivity. Focus on the positive for success and peak performance.

Most of us are not aware of the amount of negative influences in our lives.  We are bombarded with negative messages from the media, the people around us, and most damaging of all, ourselves.

The first step in the process in replacing negatives with positives in your life is to make a decision to start looking for the negative messages and ways to replace them with positives. Decide that you will focus on the positive in this world. 

Begin to drastically cut down on the amount of news you take in.  Most people start their day with the news. And of course most of the news is bad news, fires, floods, etc.  Then it is on to traffic and weather, which also stresses the negatives.  So, by the time you have finished your coffee, you have had enough bad news to last a week. Does all this bad news make you want to throw open the door and happily charge into the bright, new day? Quite the opposite, right?  And how about the way we end the day?  Many of us watch the news before going to bed and get a big dose of negative information just before trying to go to sleep.  Is it any wonder so many people have trouble sleeping?  The mood we are in before we go to sleep carries over to the next morning, so you are setting yourself up for starting the next day in a bad mood. Odds are you don’t need all that negative information you are taking in from the news, and you will function just fine without it. 

Replace the news you were taking in with such things as motivational tapes, uplifting music and sites that stress good news. Also reading empowering books helps a great deal. Books can be a fantastic way to recharge your life.  Look for success stories, biographies of successful people, etc and see what works for you.  You will begin to feel better immediately.

Your next step is to limit the amount of TV you watch.  A recent study showed that 78% of the people watching TV are not interested in the program they are watching at any given time.  So, watching TV is probably making you bored at best, and taking you away from activities that would be more fun.  Prime time is the period when most people are watching TV; you can make it your prime time by turning off the TV and using that time to move your life ahead.

Next you need to limit your exposure to negative people.  Most people don’t realize how draining it is to be around negative people, but they drain your energy and spirit in many ways.  Negative people pull you down, so work to remove them from your life to the extent you can.  Never get involved in the office pity party, or complaint sessions that come your way.   Seek out people that support you and that you feel good being around and use these people to replace the negative people in your life.  

The most damaging source of negativity is ourselves.  Most of us generate lots of negative self talk that our minds accept as the truth and results in our being held back in many ways.  We focus on our shortcomings, our problems, and spend our time predicting more bad news for ourselves, generating lots of fear and worry, while undercutting our ability to try new things, etc.  Begin to focus on the positive aspects of you.  What are your unique strengths, what have you accomplished, how are you different from other people?  Use visualization and affirmations to build images of yourself accomplishing the things you want and use these to replace the negative images.  Give yourself lots of credit for everything you do right, so you are getting even more positive news about yourself.  Also, set aside three minutes every day to think about all the good things you have in your life right now.  The process of thinking of the good things in your life, will generate good feelings for you that will last much of the day.

Don’t forget to take care of your body.  Eat foods that fuel your body for the day ahead, (Im’ still working on that myself) cut out some bad habits and get regular exercise in order to boost your self-esteem while building your strength and endurance, so you can accomplish more.  

Helping others will also help you feel better about yourself.  Take time to get involved in a charity, animal shelter, or other activities that help others.  You will get good feedback and positive energy from others and develop a genuine sense of pride and accomplishment. Remember that what you put out comes back to you, so make sure it is good that goes out.

By replacing the negatives in your life with positives, you will make yourself and probably the world a better place.  You will feel better mentally and physically, plus accomplish many of the things you want to.  Nothing is ever accomplished without action, so start now to move your life ahead.

Until next time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

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4 Personal Development Power Tips

Hey Boo!

No matter what your dream is, working on your personal development is sure to get you there. Personal Development, at its basis, is anything that allows us to grow into an ordered life that is of our choosing. This is one of the most cherished goals among self-improvement practitioners. There are some excellent methods available for achieving it. However, it is easier said than done. Here are a few hints and tips to get you started.

  • Clean the clutter from your life

There is a personal development saying, “a tidy desk is a tidy mind”. Oftentimes, your outer environment is a reflection of the way you think and feel. Is your living or working space always cluttered?  It’s important that you start to order your environment to reflect the ordered life you are building. Clear away unnecessary clutter from your surroundings. This may sound like a meaningless task but you are sending a very clear message to your subconscious mind that you intend to get organized. When you begin to organize your living and working environment it allows you to develop the basic skills needed for organizing your life. This can be achieved through goals. You should structure your goals in such a way that each one builds on the other and ensure that they are not in opposition to one another.

  • Don’t be too set on achieving your goals in exactly the manner you intend to

A major factor in the non-attainment of goals is the inability to restructure plans and change direction when circumstances dictate these should be done. Remain flexible.

  • Don’t focus on the mistakes

Simply analyze them and learn the lesson they are trying to teach you. By staying focused on your failures, problems or toils you are actually creating more of them, or at least keeping them in your experience. Focus on the solutions or at least focus on the fact “you’re still in the game”. You still have the opportunity to learn, grow, and turn things around. Consider any mistakes you’ve made as life lessons. Apply what you have learned from them and use them as references (of what not to do) in the future.

  • Make sure you follow through on your plans

Persistence can accomplish things that nothing else can. How many times were you close to the end of the rainbow, and without even knowing how close you were, you quit? You may be someone who has drive at the start of a venture but finds your enthusiasm waning as you progress, lacking the motivation that is needed to “keep you keeping on” during times of hardship. Those who persist, especially in times like these, are those who ALWAYS win!

Key Takeaways:

To increase clarity and encourage organization, be sure to keep your work environment clean and clutter-free. Remember that your outer environment I often an indication of how you think  and feel.

Don’t be so dogmatic when it comes to the how. Have a goal and plan of action to get you going in the right direction, but keep in mind that things may not go exactly as you planned down to the letter.

Don’t harp on the mistakes that you make along the way. It’s part of the journey. Learn from your mistakes and move on. It’s okay.

Be sure to follow through! We sometimes self-sabotage by not being consistent. The only way that you can truly fail is if you give up.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep glowing…

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How to Develop a Motivated Mindset

Having trouble finding the silver lining? This might help.

Hey Boo!

From time to time, we find ourselves in a rut. We seem to lose our zest for life and feel tired, irritable and unmotivated. We want to hide under the covers rather than face the day. Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed by work and adulting or just bored with the routine of your daily life.

You are not alone love. We all go through periods like this at some point. The good news is that we can do something about it. Here are some tips to help break out of the rut and feel excited about life again:

  1. Take a “Time Out” – Prolonged stress can wear us down and zap any enthusiasm we once had. Before doing anything else, take a few minutes to breathe and just BE. Empty your mind of all stress and worry. This takes practice, but don’t give up! As thoughts come into your mind, gently push them back out and continue to keep your mind empty and calm. Take slow, deep breaths and let all of your muscles relax. Sit quietly and recharge your batteries. Try to do this daily, or even twice daily (morning and night). We need quiet time as much as we need anything else in life. Give yourself the gift of inner peace.
  1. Get Inspired – Read something motivational, inspirational or uplifting. Look at some beautiful nature photos or read something you find funny. Consciously move your thoughts to a more positive place. Focusing on nothing but work and our daily tasks in life can leave us feeling pretty uninspired. It’s easy to turn it around if we want to. We just have to seek out things that will lift our spirits and our moods. Make it a point to laugh, be happy, joyful and lighthearted each day. Don’t wait for inspiration to come knocking on your door, go out and find it, or create it. Conjure up some funny or touching memories. Write them in a journal so you can go back and read them when you’re feeling down.
  1. Get Excited – Think about the things you have planned for the day and rekindle the enthusiasm you once felt for them. When we first begin a new project, or start a new job, we are excited about the possibilities and eager to get moving! Over time, we can lose that enthusiasm for a variety of reasons. Travel back in time for a moment and think about what got you so excited at the beginning. What made your heartbeat a little faster? Recapture that feeling and hang onto it! Even if your tasks aren’t anything to be really excited about, at least think of some positive benefits to doing them. For example, list the ways they will benefit your children, your spouse, yourself, your job or your home. Identify the reward and focus on that. Even mundane tasks have some benefits. Sometimes it’s just a matter of switching our mindset to see the positive side.
  1. Baby Steps – Sometimes the hardest part is actually getting started. A project seems so monstrous that we cringe at the thought of all that time and energy we’ll have to expend. Instead of overwhelming yourself, start small. Set a timer for 15 minutes and just start working on it. Allow yourself to stop after 15 minutes if you really want to. But most often, once we actually start working on something, we won’t want to stop. Don’t focus on the big picture, look at the smaller details and take them on one at a time. Any large task seems manageable once we break it down into smaller steps.
  1. Care of the Body – Sometimes our feelings of fatigue are caused by physical deficiencies, not mental. Be sure you are getting enough rest, eating food that nourishes your body, drinking enough water, getting enough exercise, etc. Especially when we’re very busy, we tend to grab the quickest, easiest meals, which aren’t always the best choice for our bodies. Eating a lot of highly processed foods and sugar is like putting watered-down gasoline into our cars. In order for our cars to run smoothly, we need to maintain them properly, and so it is with our bodies also. Remember, the body is the vehicle for the mind and soul!

Finally, remember to reward yourself from time to time, and be gentle with yourself! There will always be things that “need” to be done. But some of us take on way more than we can handle, and our lives turn into a pit of drudgery because of it. Try to eliminate the things that truly don’t bring you joy, or at least minimize the time you spend on them. Do what you can, and let the rest go. Or ask for help. Don’t feel you have to do everything yourself.

Remember that motivation, just like happiness, is something we CHOOSE. We may need to give ourselves a little push at the beginning, but once we get into the right mindset, it’s simple to stay there if we so desire.

Until Next time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

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6 Steps to Activating and Applying Behavioral Change

Do you REALLY want to make change in your life??

Hey Boo!

Without change there is stagnancy, and stagnancy eventually brings death.

In order to truly live, you must grow, and the requirement of growth is that you experience new things that open your perspective so that you evolve and become better. Hence, we cannot truly live without becoming better, and we cannot become better without change. But what kind of change?

The only kind of change that truly matters is behavioral change. We cannot change the people around us, nor can we avoid certain circumstances in life. The only thing that we can really change is ourselves. When we change our behavior, we empower ourselves to elevate in various aspects of life. Activating and applying behavioral change is the key to elevation and living the life you truly want. There are six steps and we are going to walk through them right now.

Step 1: Clarify Values for Each Life Domain

This really just means ‘write down what’s most important to you in each area of your life. What goals would you like to accomplish mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally?

 For example: I want to make ‘x’ amount of dollars a month. That would be your value for your financial domain.

Once you’ve placed a value in each life domain you want to improve, move on to step two.

Step 2: Identify Life Giving Activities

Life giving activities are the things that you do that give you a feeling of accomplishment or bring enjoyment to your life. Some people become so focused on achieving goals that they cut out enjoyment and spend all of their available time with their noses to the grindstone. They believe that enjoyment is distracting them from achievement and hyperfocus is the answer. But unfortunately, hyper focusing on goals creates the opposite effect of the one desired. Instead of making more progress, it’s more likely that you become bitter, experience burnout, and possibly give up on the goal altogether.

The truth is, enjoyment is not frivolous, it is necessary. The best way to accomplish your goals is to identify life giving activities that bring enjoyment and align with your goals.

For example: One of my life-giving activities is writing. In my opinion, writing is art. It’s the first form of self expression that I ever embraced and has a special place in my heart. I can use my life-giving activity of writing to bring myself enjoyment, feel a sense of accomplishment, and aid in accomplishing my goal of reaching 10k beautiful souls per month.

Other lifegiving activities such as painting, dancing, listening to music are for my enjoyment and although they may not necessarily provide a sense of accomplishment or help achieve a goal, these activities serve as a form of reward or celebration and can also provide balance. (Work hard, play hard.)

So, for step two I want you to write down life-giving activities. They don’t all have to align with your goals but if they do, that’s awesome!

Step 3: Rate the Difficulty of Each Activity

Take a moment to rate the level of difficulty for each of the lifegiving activities that you’ve written down. What steps do you need to take to begin and/or complete these activities?

Step 4: Plan the Order of Completion

Now that you have an idea of how challenging each activity will be, you can plan which activity you want to start with. Are there any life-giving activities that you can start with right now?

Step 5: Schedule Activities Into A Calendar

How’s it going so far Boo? At this point you should have a list of goals for every aspect of your life, selected life-giving activities that align with your goals or provide balance and enjoyment. You should also have rated the level of difficulty for each activity and selected which activity you’re starting with. The more specific you are about scheduling and executing your plans, the more likely you are to complete them.

Since you’ve chosen your starting activity, go ahead and schedule that activity on your calendar. When scheduling the activity in your calendar it’s important to be realistic about the time it takes to complete the task. If it is a particularly large task or you’re dealing with time restrictions, it’s best to break bigger tasks into smaller steps to prevent overwhelm and ensure completion.

Which leads us to step 6…

Step 6: Complete the Activities

While accomplishing your goals remember to be fully present during the activity. Appreciating the moment that you are in is a very important part of the process.

Yay! You did it Boo! You have successfully activated behavioral change in your life.

Here are a few tips on how to apply and maintain the changes you’ve just made.

-Build a game plan around your goals and work progressively toward them.

Remember that every bit of progress counts.

-Think holistically

Progress in different areas of your life can be mutually beneficial and reinforcing.

-Make sure tasks are rewarding.

Life giving activities help you stay consistent while enjoying the journey at the same time.

-Remember to break down big tasks.

Make sure the task is small enough to get started and then work on it steadily to ensure continued success.

-Plan activities for specific times.

Are you a morning person or a night owl? Plan activities for the time of day where you would be most productive and attentive.

–Make yourself accountable.

Write down your plans on your calendar to stay abreast of what you need to do. An accountability partner is also a great way to make sure that you stay diligent in the pursuit of your goals.

–Address negative thoughts.

Sometimes negative self-talk and self-doubt starts to creep in. Remember that this can happen in various parts of your journey and it’s normal. Remind yourself of your why and counteract your negative self-talk with positive affirmations and facts about how capable you are.

-Focus on completing one task at a time.

You may feel more productive to multi-task, but the more tasks you do at once the greater the margin for error. For the best, most consistent result start with one task and move on to the next only upon completion.

-Track your activities.

This tip is especially helpful as it serves as a form of accountability and encourages consistency. Tracking what activities you do and when you do them can also help you see what you are or aren’t doing consistently. Tracking your activities can also make you aware of trends in your behavior whether positive or negative.

Well Boo, that’s all I have for this week. If this blog was helpful to you, please share it. Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

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You Made Me Who I am Today, But if I Never Saw You Again it Would be Too Soon.

Hey Boo!

For this week’s blog, I thought I’d do something different. A week or so ago, I saw a post from a content creator expressing love and gratitude to the person who helped them elevate to their current level of being. It brought me joy to see the post, but it also caused me to reflect on the person who made me who I am today and that’s not quite as joyful a story. I want to share some of my story with you in the form of a letter. Here goes:

Dear “Deion”,

A lot has happened since we last spoke. It’s been over two years since we’ve had any communication at all, and I know that’s not what you wanted, but it’s what I needed. I blocked you on social media, changed my number and stopped responding to your e-mails because it was clear that you were still unwilling to claim any responsibility for the way our marriage fell apart. My jaw hit the floor when I read your line about how ‘if anyone was afraid, it should be you’. I was amazed and appalled, especially since it was me who was threatened with a steel pipe and chased away from my home on foot.

I won’t mince words- our marriage was a complete disaster. From the very beginning you weren’t honest about who you were. You lied about your age, how many children you had, and your criminal history just to name a few things. The thing about that is if you were honest from the beginning, I may have still given you a chance.  I thought you were a decent guy and my heart went out to you as you talked about the women in your past and how they’d done you wrong. I had experienced similar hurt and betrayal and just wanted someone I could love freely who would reciprocate. I thought that I’d found that in you. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.

You looked me in my eyes as I shared my pain, vulnerabilities, and fears and you vowed to be different. And I guess you didn’t lie because you were different. You turned out to be much worse than anything I’d encountered before.

The first few months were blissful. You were caring, thoughtful, and attentive. You looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life. You told me that you’d never met a woman like me, and you appreciated all of the things that I did for you out of love. You said you loved everything about me- how I dressed and presented myself, my intelligence and personality, even my goals and aspirations. I had written and self-published a book and you had offered to help me promote it on social media. I was so happy to be your wife. I would’ve went to the ends of the earth for you because I loved you. And you loved me too, right?

Wrong.

After the first few months, I never saw the man I married again. Your representative had disappeared, and I was left with something that you had actually never shared with me, your true self. You started complaining about the very things you claimed to love and understand. We began to fight a lot and I made changes to keep the peace. You didn’t want me working, so I quit. You felt like social media was causing problems in our marriage, so I disconnected. I changed how I dressed so that you wouldn’t think I was ‘trying to look good for someone else’. Essentially, I tried to become everything you wanted me to be. But even that wasn’t enough. Every time I met your expectations, you created new ones for me to meet. As I put in more effort, you put in even less. The fighting increased and intensified to the point of exhaustion. Sometimes things got physical, and let’s not forget the night you could’ve ended both of our lives.

It may seem like I’m trying to dump all of the blame on you, but I’m not. Although youdid a lot of very hurtful things to me, it was I who allowed them. I take responsibility for my lack of self-esteem, poor boundaries, and codependency. I acknowledge that there were red flags that I ignored because I was already so convinced that you were the one. I made excuses for you and dismissed things that I shouldn’t have.

During the course of our marriage, I gained over 60 pounds, struggled with bouts of depression and ptsd, and experienced multiple lupus flares due to stress. I was stifled, isolated, and miserable.

Outside of the passing of my parents, our marriage was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I’d never felt so broken, so worthless, so low. But it was also one of the most impactful. Because when you hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but UP. And that’s what I did. From the trauma and pain I was able to heal and rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

And in some way, I have you to thank for that. The truth is, you helped make me the person I am today but if I never saw you again it would be too soon. I don’t wish you any harm and I truly hope that you are able to heal from your wounds and find peace. Because that’s what I was able to do and it’s absolutely blissful. Not perfect but blissful.

Goodbye “Deion”, and good luck.

Well, that’s all I have for this week beautiful souls. Until next time, keep Glowing…

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Experiencing Inner Peace

Hey Boo!

Inner Peace, isn’t that what we’d all love to experience consistently as we weave our paths through everything life gives us? The good news is it is far simpler to attain than many of our outer (material or physical) goals. The bad news is that simple isn’t always easy! Attaining inner peace is not easy because it means replacing old habits with new, and that requires dedicated commitment. But the benefits are absolutely worth the effort.

Inner peace gives you the ability to live your life with a sense of happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment which is not disturbed or influenced by outside events. How do you acquire it? By living your life your own way, not how others think you should. By not worrying about what others think of you – we all judge others (both positively and negatively) according to our own values, but if we try to live our lives in a way which honors somebody else’s values rather than our own, we’ll always have a little gnawing discomfort going on deep inside.

To experience inner peace, we also need to be able to forgive and to let go of guilt. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Feeling guilty about past actions won’t change them and won’t make anybody feel any better (either the offended or the offender). Do what you can to make things right, make a clear and distinct decision to do better in the future and move on.

Letting go of anger or grudges will also bring about a surprising sense of peace. Think about it – how does holding onto these negative emotions help you? And do you think they hurt those against whom you hold them more than they hurt you? Not at all. In most situations, the person that’s hurt you has moved on and is enjoying life-completely oblivious to how you feel. We must take both responsibility and control of our emotions because no matter who we believe caused them they only truly affect us.

Of course, it can be very difficult to forgive someone who’s hurt you, but what I’ve come to realize is that most people don’t maliciously set out to hurt others, and those who do are deeply unhappy themselves. The motivation behind their action was most probably some kind of fear rather than deliberately wanting to cause hurt or pain. And thought of in that context, it’s easier to let it go and move forward.

And with a little bit of practice at forgiveness, you may even find yourself getting less annoyed or angry with people in future. When you can shrug things off and not take things personally (it’s really about them, and not you at all), you’ll have a greater sense of inner peace. Our happiness is determined by how we think about the events in our lives, rather than by the events themselves. Take charge of your thoughts and you take charge of your emotions.

To achieve inner peace, you also need to let go of worry. This does take work but, it’s definitely worth the effort. Worry is similar to guilt. Worrying about what might or might not happen is completely unproductive, and totally destroys your ability to enjoy the present moment. A great shame that would be, as the present moment is all we really have.

So, how do we learn to let go of worries, guilt and anger? Well, the first thing is to become consciously aware of what we’re thinking whenever we feel worried, guilty or angry. Notice what’s going on in your inner dialogue, and acknowledge that it’s your thoughts about the external event that’s causing you to feel the way you do, and not the event itself. Then reframe your thoughts to reflect what’s going on around you in a more positive light. Whenever you catch yourself thinking the old thought, banish it immediately and replace it with the new one.

“No-one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world.” — Dr Wayne Dyer

This will take a lot of practice but with patience and persistence you will develop a lighter inner dialogue that promotes a feeling of well-being and inner peace, and the world will feel like a far better place to live in!

Until Next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

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The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make Before Hiring a Coach

Hey Boo!

If you think the best way or the only way for you to achieve your goals is to do it by yourself then you have Lone Ranger Mentality. While there are some things that we must do independently, we as humans were not created to be independent, rather we should be interdependent. That being said, if you try to do it on your own and find that you need some help then you are well within your right to ask for assistance. Do you believe that reaching out to someone for help somehow indicates that you aren’t enough? That it somehow means you’re incapable and not smart enough, strong enough or good enough?

Well, let me assure you, the people who come to coaching are all of those things, extremely capable, smart, strong and a whole lot more. They choose coaching because they are ready to accelerate their personal or professional lives and work with a professional who will empower them to achieve their goals faster, easier and with better results than they could on their own.  

A coach will facilitate your self-discovery, the identification of your goals and the prioritization of those goals. Your coach will help you create your action plan as well as prepare for and overcome any challenges you encounter along the way. Your coach will hold you accountable for taking consistent action toward the realization of your goals. Accountability is one of the greatest payoffs of coaching. It is so powerful because it can make all the difference in terms of you being a Goal Achiever instead of just a Goal Setter and someone who walks the walk instead of someone who is talking the talk. Think of your coach as your success partner, whose reason for being is to help you get what you want quicker, easier and with better results than you could on your own.     

If you’re thinking your life is good and you’re relatively satisfied, congratulations! That did not happen on its own. You have obviously done some fabulous work. You’ve already proven you’re the kind of person who proactively goes after what you want, and you get it. So why would you settle for anything less than great? Why would you settle for a muted life when you could amplify your existence and live out loud? Do you really want to play it safe and stay comfortable? Playing it safe and staying comfortable can take you no further than average.

Common Misconception: only people whose lives are a mess get coaches. That’s actually not true at all. It is not uncommon for some clients to be people who have previously achieved success with coaching in the past. Now that they’ve personally experienced the power of coaching, they realize just how much less they were settling for, for themselves and their lives. They were settling for good when they could have been experiencing great. Coaching can dramatically increase the quality of their lives in all areas, from increased sales to enhanced relationships and from better health to increased productivity. After coaching they feel, many for the very first time, that they are fully and vibrantly alive.  Glowing, if you will.

So, we challenge those of you who are settling. We challenge you to stop settling for good. We challenge you to go for GREAT and beyond with coaching.

Do you have dreams or desires that you’ve left unfulfilled because you can’t imagine bringing them to life without adding a lot more to your already jam-packed schedule?

It may surprise you to know that coaching can enable you to be more, do more and have more by working smarter instead of harder. Your coach will lead you through an efficient process. You’ll begin by getting crystal clear about what you do and do not want in your life. What’s great about that is that when you figure out the things in your life that you’re tolerating or doing just because you feel like you should, you can create a lot of extra space in your schedule to tackle the things that are truly meaningful to you. Next, you will develop an action plan that details what it’s going to take, ‘the what by when’, for you to reach your goals. Finally, you will stay focused and on track by being accountable to your coach for taking consistent action and you will learn how to overcome any challenges that come up along the way.

Do you find yourself wishing other people were different; easier to get along with, more positive, more successful, trustworthy, or kind? Or do you find yourself thinking about how your life would be better if your circumstances were different if only you had a better job, more money, more time or more opportunity? Are you telling yourself that these external factors are responsible for what’s not working in your life or for preventing you from having what you want?

It can be very tempting to get caught up in this paradigm. But the reality is that if you are looking for or waiting for something outside of yourself to change and give you what you want, you will be waiting and frustrated for a very long time.

The reason for this is that you do not have control over anything outside of you.  What you do have, though, is total control over yourself. You have total control over your thoughts, your actions, and your results.

It is a fact that your circumstances will change when you make a committed decision to do the things that will move you in the direction of what you want to experience in your life, and then do them. Hiring a coach is one of the smartest things you can do to ensure you take control and create the reality you want to experience.

The Third Biggest Mistake – Wasting your time and money on stuff that doesn’t get you the results you want and is not ultimately fulfilling. 

Let’s face it; there are an infinite number of things that you can spend your hard earned money and valuable time on these days. When you know you want things to be different or better it’s easy for you to waste your time and your money in one of two ways.

The first one is spending your time and money collecting information that comes in the form of  books, software, seminars, reports or programs. You are collecting information that you believe can help you get what you want.

Now don’t get the wrong idea here, information is a great thing. I am a huge believer in books and programs being critical tools in helping you get where you want to go, but I want to make something very clear here.

Information alone will not get you results. You cannot expect that your sales will automatically increase just because you read the Guru of Sales latest book and you can’t assume that your monthly expenses will automatically organize themselves just because you purchased the newest expenses tracking software. You will get fulfilling results only by taking consistent action toward achieving your goals based on what you’ve learned from the information you’ve collected.

You may also be wasting your time and money by acquiring and participating in things that have nothing to do with, and even go against you having what you really want. (Example: investing in a new side hustle instead of completing your business launch.)

Have you ever allowed a month to go by where you indulge every food craving you had and did not exercise regularly, even though your deepest desire is to achieve and maintain a healthy body weight and lifestyle? Have you ever gone out and bought some expensive new technology you don’t really need or can’t really afford when what you truly desire is to feel successful and experience financial freedom?

If this sounds like you then you know what it’s like to be running on the hamster wheel of short term gain, in the form of immediate gratification, leading you to long term pain because your life experiences don’t match up with what you really want.

It’s very important to realize that spending your time or money on things that give you immediate gratification but have nothing to do with your goals and values will always leave you feeling empty. Completely and totally empty and looking for the next burst of short-term gratification.

Instead of wasting your time and money, why not invest in yourself in a way that will accelerate your personal and professional development? Working with a coach on an ongoing basis is the most time and cost-effective investment you can make in yourself and your quality of life.

Your coach can teach you how to make the most of what you’ve got and how to do more with less. Your coach will hold you accountable for taking consistent purposeful action towards achieving your goals.

By working with a coach, you will get crystal clear on what you really want, why you want it and how to get it. Having clarity takes the guesswork out of things. That way, you will be able to evaluate all future investment opportunities, and by that I mean any and all opportunities for you to spend your time or money, according to the coach’s ability to support you in fulfilling your purpose, your vision, your values and your goals. 

The Second Biggest Mistake – Waiting for a “good” time to make a change or go after the things you really want in life.

Guess what, there is no good time. Life will always be busy. There will always be family and business obligations to attend to, errands to run, chores to do, podcasts and reels to watch and people and projects that want your time, energy and money. Your life will always be busy and it will always get in the way of what you really want, if you let it.

Wondering what you can do about it? You can focus on the simple truth. Today. Stop kidding yourself that the perfect time is just around the corner or some time in the future at some unspecified date. Instead, decide to connect with a professional who can teach you how to make the most of every moment starting right now.

Your coach will hold you accountable while keeping you focused and on track to achieving your goals no matter what life throws at you.

The Biggest Mistake – Telling yourself you can’t afford a coach.

The truth is that you can’t afford not to have one. Coaches are highly in demand these days because coaching has proven itself to be an extremely effective method for facilitating personal and professional development and fulfillment.

The word is out everywhere, it’s on social media, it’s in corporations and it’s in solid and thriving communities. The word is out that coaching makes sense and it really works. In studies that have been done on the impact of coaching, the results have consistently shown a return on investment of more than 100%.

Coaching clients from all walks and areas of life consistently report that it is the best money they ever spent because their investment in an ongoing coaching partnership enables them to achieve their goals. What’s even better is coaching enables them to achieve their goals quicker, easier and with better results. Now think about that for a moment. Think about what that means for you. Anything you want is available to you quicker, easier and with better results through the vehicle of coaching.

If you are still unsure, consider this, it’s not enough for you to say you want things to be different.  Just wanting something doesn’t make it so.  You must make a decision and then take purposeful action toward what you want. When you put your money where your mouth is and invest in a coaching program you demonstrate your commitment to achieving the thing that you want and at the same time you cut yourself off from any possibility other than total success. Some coaches like myself have affordable payment plans for their coaching programs and would be happy to discuss options with you.

Oh! One more thing before I go. In the month of May, I will be running a special promotion for my new 12 week transformational coaching program. 25 slots. 50% off. I will be providing more information on that in the coming weeks, but feel free to reach out to me if that’s something you’re interested in.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

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The Art of Achievement

Hey Boo!

Ever wondered how some people have everything that they dream of, but for the vast majority it just remains a dream? Here are some tips on how to help turn your dreams into reality. Fortunately, it’s not a question of genetics or luck; it’s down to the thinking strategies that we use.

  • Step One: Understanding What is Important to You

Knowing what matters most to you is the first and most vital step toward achievement. Without the understanding of what’s important to you, you’re just spinning wheels. Take a moment to think about what really is important to you. In fact, take out a pen and paper and write it down. What are your priorities? What are you passionate about? What are your values and how do they impact what your goals are? Do your goals and your values align?

If we have a greater understanding of our values, craft our goals in line with them, and address some of the other key areas listed here, we are rewarded with the energy and motivation to make them happen – with ease.

Now, having considered that, what goals do you have listed that coincide with your values? Take those goals and move on to step two.

  • Step Two: Optimize the Use of Your Time

The first step in optimizing the use of our time is understanding what’s important. Since we’ve done that in step one, we will now move on to step two which is distinguishing the importance of our activities.

To optimize the use of your time so that you can achieve your goals and earn the life you want you must spend time doing things that bring you closer to achievement. Take a moment to write down the steps that are necessary to accomplish the goal that you wrote down in step one. If you’re not quite sure what the next steps are, here are some questions to get you brainstorming:

Does your goal have a specific location? If so, how will you travel there?

Does your goal require certifications, degrees, licenses, funding? If so, how will you go about acquiring these things?

Does your goal have a certain time frame? If so, how can you break down the tasks in a way that makes the goal achievable within your time frame?

Once you’ve written down the steps you need to take to achieve your goal, dedicate a consistent amount of time doing things that bring you closer to achieving your desires. For example, if your goal is to lose 30 lbs in 3 months then you may aim to lose 10 lbs each month. Perhaps your steps would be to exercise a certain amount of times per week and eat a certain amount of calories per day. Optimizing the use of your time in this case may be you choosing to do a 30 minute workout instead of watching an episode of your favorite show.

What optimizing the use of your time, ask yourself this question- Are my current actions conducive to the goal I want to accomplish, or the person that I’m meant to be?

*Disclaimer: this is in no way a suggestion that you become a robotic worker-drone who never has fun and is focused on goals 24 hours a day. This is simply to state that consistent steps should be taken, and that sacrificing a momentarily enjoyable experience to invest in more lasting joy and fulfillment is heavenly encouraged.

To optimize the use of your time, it may be helpful to place the steps on a calendar so that you can schedule your tasks.

  • Step Three: Start with What You have Now, with the End in Mind

Having both established goals that are in line with your values and optimized your time, you now need to get started. It’s important that the start is made with the goal in mind and with a degree of realism on the resources that are available now. Accept the flaws and errors that may occur and understand that you don’t have to be perfect to start. I repeat- do not expect perfection or uber-success at your first effort.

It’s important not to be delusional on this step. Delusion is the result of setting off without a realistic view of what the present situation is or how challenging the task may actually be. And Delusion soon turns to disappointment which in turn turns to frustration and ultimately little or no significant progress.  At the end of the day we only have 3 resources: Physical and mental energy, time and money. It’s key that we learn how to make optimal use of these resources.

  • Step Four: Meeting Challenges

The first three steps should have you well on your way to goal achievement, but no amount of planning is going to account for every eventuality. Sometimes there are unplanned events and occurrences beyond your control. Many people consider these unplanned events to be problems that prevent progress and give up at that point. But people that achieve are not put off by these events and are more energized by the richness of the opportunities that are enveloped in these events. An unforeseen event can be an opportunity for growth and improvement, or even a detour leading you to a greater outcome than you expected. With the right mindset the journey to achievement can be viewed as one opportunity after another to reinforce the ability to succeed.

  • Consider This: How You Use Your Imagination

All human beings are blessed with incredibly powerful imaginations. However, many imagine outcomes of the future that are not going to be to their advantage. Imagining negative outcomes leads to worry, stress and fear and drains our energy and motivation. Imagining a positive outcome of the future releases more of the energy and motivation that we need to succeed at our goals.  Fortunately, the structure that we use in our minds is the same for both negative and positive imaginations. And with the right know-how you can use your fear to generate excitement and anticipation.

  • Forming Your Goals Well

When forming your goals it is essential to consider a number of factors; a compelling view of how things will be when the goal is achieved is as important as a clear understanding of what we will lose when we it’s achieved. Many times, the likely loss prevents us from achieving what we want because we have not adapted our thinking around the loss. A prime example of this is giving up smoking – many people fail to give up because having a cigarette provides them with a valuable 5-minute break. When the break is factored into the future along with the goal the chances of success are considerably increased. Although the extra time away from your workstation may seem like quite the reward, consider the health risks and dangers associated with smoking and weigh them against the benefits. When forming your goals it is important that the benefits of accomplishing the goal are clearly understood- and that they outweigh the benefits of not accomplishing the goal. (In this case the extra breaks and stress relief.)

  • Believe That it is Possible For You

Many people hold negative beliefs about whether the goal is achievable, whether they will ever achieve it and even whether it is really for them. It is important to overcome these beliefs or sabotage will continuously result. Fortunately, our beliefs can be changed as we are not born with limiting beliefs, and they don’t have to be accepted as your reality. As long as you set goals that align with your values, optimize the use of your time by taking consistent steps forward, and believe in yourself emphatically- you can achieve your goals.

What goal are you crushing next? I know you can do it!

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

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The A’s of Success: Authenticity & Alignment

Hey Boo!

Have you ever felt as if you are beating your head against a wall?  You try time and time again to achieve a goal, but instead you fall short- struggling rather than moving forward and achieving your goals with grace and ease.

You are not alone.  The struggle to move from what we don’t want to what we do want is, unfortunately, a fundamental struggle for many individuals.  Believe it or not, it is very common for people to struggle against what they want and to actively limit their good. In order to have what you want, you must be willing to end the struggle and move into action.  Your success is dependent on your ability to reach your goals and achieve.

The easiest way to move from “stuck” into action without struggle is to be authentic and to be in alignment with your authenticity.  Authenticity means that you are connected to your core and that your desires are a true reflection of your inner self and soul.

 Alignment means that your entire being is in agreement with the goal you want to achieve.

 For example, you come home from work one evening and you are very tired.  But this evening is your work-out night.  You sit on the couch and actually have to talk yourself into getting into your gym clothes and heading to the gym.  What you did in convincing part of yourself to go to the gym when it really wanted to rest on the couch is called alignment.  You got yourself into alignment with the idea and intention of going to the gym no matter how tired a part of you felt because you know that working out is for your greater good.

To end struggle and successfully achieve goals, all parts of you must work together for manifestation.  That means all bodies, mental, physical, emotional and spiritual, must be in agreement concerning a goal.  There can be no doubts, limiting beliefs or attachments.  The following describes a process you can use to do an authenticity check concerning your goals and bring yourself into alignment with your goals.

Step One: Sit quietly – create a peaceful, serene and nurturing space for yourself. It must be a space where you feel comfortable and secure.  Spend several minutes in quiet and inner reflection upon your goal.  Have paper and pen handy.

Step Two: The Authenticity Check: Ask within if this goal is the appropriate goal for you to achieve at this time.  If the answer is yes, skip to the next step.  If the answer is no, ask what a more appropriate goal would be for you right now.

By asking this question, you move from being ruled by the needs of the mind (survival issues) and begin to access the soul within.  You leave behind the petty desires of the ego and move into realizing the desires of the soul.  As a result, your goals become truer and more authentic.

Write down the response you receive.  If you need additional clarity concerning the response, ask for it.  Keep asking within until you feel complete.

Step Three: Alignment. Once you have a defined and authentic goal, it is time to create alignment. Remain in your space of quiet and comfort; ask to speak to your mental body.  (You will repeat step Three with each of the bodies) Ask your mental body if it is willing to be in alignment with your goal.  The purpose of this question is to uncover any blocks or limitations that reside in the mental body concerning the goal. If the answer is yes, proceed to the next body: physical, spiritual and emotional.

If the answer is no, simply begin a conversation with this part of you.  Some questions to begin with are: Why are you not willing to be in alignment with this goal? What would it take for you to be in alignment with this goal? When a part is not willing to be in alignment with an authentic goal, the cause may be fear or insecurity.  Usually the situation is remedied by helping the part understand that it is taken care of, that it is safe and that it has nothing to fear.  Simply, have a conversation with the part and inform it of the truth. Once you receive the willingness of all the bodies, remember to thank them for supporting the manifestation of this authentic goal.  Affirm your alignment with this goal and your intention to manifest it.

By completing this process, you have created an authentic goal and brought yourself into full alignment with this goal.  You can now move forward without struggle because all blocks have been removed.  Success shall be yours.

Well Boo, I hope that this blog was useful to you. Let me know your thoughts on it, and if you need a bit more help with goal setting and focus feel free to reach out and we can work together to see what possible steps you can take next. My coaching program can help you deprogram limiting thoughts and beliefs and redirect your focus and energy to a more desired outcome.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep glowing…

 

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6 Keys to Finding True Happiness

Hey Boo!

Are you happy? Did you know that happiness is your right and that you have every right to pursue it?

Yes indeed! The pursuit of happiness is one of the basic elements of human existence. We came here to be happy, we deserve to be happy, we want to be happy… So why are so many people unhappy then? Most likely people are not happy because they are missing one of the six keys to happiness.

The most important key to your personal happiness is determining that you will be happy. For many people, their personal happiness is not a priority in their life. Too often, we put the happiness of others before our own. While this may please our children, spouse, or boss, this is not the path to happiness. Doing things solely for the happiness of others often leaves us feeling unappreciated and unfulfilled in the long run, which is why it is important to prioritize doing things that genuinely make you happy. This doesn’t mean you should make yourself happy at the expense of others, but you must remember that the reverse should also not be true — your happiness should not be sacrificed to make others happy.

Once you have determined to make your pursuit of happiness a priority you need to determine just what it is that makes you happy. Spend some time reviewing the happy times in your life. Think about memories that make you smile or activities that make you joyful. Can you find a common element or theme? If so, that common element is one of the keys to finding true happiness for you.

Now that you have identified what makes you happy you need to engage in that activity. Perhaps you need a creative outlet? Join a writing group, take an art class, or learn an instrument. Do you need physical activity? Then find a way to get into a sport you love or try enjoyable activities that involve movement such as dancing to your favorite music or playing catch with your fur baby. Just find a way to reconnect with this key element.

 For most of us, special people in our lives can provide another element of happiness. Connection to others makes the human experience more joyful. Perhaps you have lost touch with someone important and can reach out to them to reconnect. Or maybe you just need to plan some special time with family. It is important to our own pursuit of happiness to stay connected with those we love.

Another essential to finding true happiness is to give of ourselves as well. Helping others in both small and large ways can help make you happier and more content. You might even be able to find a way to combine giving and engaging in an activity that makes you happy. For example, if you love to make people laugh you could organize a community talent show as a fundraiser for a local charity.

Finally, make a list of all the aspects of your life that do make you happy. So many of us get down because we dwell on the negative, but usually there is something about your life that makes you happy. Make a list of these items so you can have a quick mood enhancer when you feel down.

The pursuit of happiness does not have to be challenging or arduous. Finding true happiness can be as simple as determining, identifying, engaging, connecting, giving and reminding yourself of the 6 keys to personal happiness.

If you’ve been through some emotional challenges and are having difficulties finding your happiness again, try journaling to sort through your thoughts or reach out to a therapist or other trusted counselor or coach to help you find clarity. Free consultations are available to see if we’d be a good fit to work together as well.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

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Personal Development Power Tips

Hello Beautiful Soul!

This week, I want to provide some tips on one of the everlasting goals in life- personal development. Personal Development, at its basis, is anything that allows us to grow into an ordered life that is of our choosing. This is one of the most cherished goals among self-improvement practitioners. There are some excellent methods available for achieving it. Personal development may seem a bit overwhelming at times, so here are a few hints and tips to get you started.

  • Clean the clutter from your life

 There is an excellent saying in the personal development field, “a tidy desk is a tidy mind”. Oftentimes, your outer environment is a reflection of the way you think and feel. Is your living or work space always cluttered?  It’s important that you start to order your environment to reflect the ordered life you are building. Clear away unnecessary clutter from your surroundings. This may sound like a meaningless task, but you are sending a very clear message to your subconscious mind that you intend to get organized. When you begin to organize your living and work environment it allows you to develop the basic skills needed for organizing your life. This can be achieved through goals. You should structure your goals in such a way that each one builds on the other and ensure that they are not in opposition to one another.

  • Don’t have your goal too ‘set in stone’

A major factor in the non-attainment of goals is the inability to restructure plans and change direction when circumstances dictate these should be done. Remain flexible.

  • Don’t focus on the mistakes

There’s absolutely no need to agonize over every little imperfect detail. Simply analyze them and learn the lesson they are trying to teach you. By staying focused on your failures, problems or toils you are creating more of them or at least keeping them in your experience. Focus on the solutions or at least focus on the fact “your still in the game”. Consider any mistakes you’ve made as life lessons. Apply what you have learned from them and use them as references (of what not to do) in the future.

  • Make sure you follow through on your plans

Action and persistence can accomplish things that nothing else can. A plan without action is simply a dream that will never come true. To see success we must believe in our dream, form a plan, take action, and then remain diligent in performing those tasks until we see the result we desire.

Have you ever given up on a dream and regretted it? Did you ever wonder just how close you were to accomplishing your goal before you quit? Did you accept temporary lack of motivation as a ‘sign’ that you should give up?

Lack of motivation isn’t necessarily a sign to give up on your goal. Some people get excited and motivated at the start of a venture but find their enthusiasm waning as time goes on. If you’re one of those people, be sure to check in with yourself and discover if you’re unmotivated due to natural ebb and flow, (you’re not going to feel excitement all the time and that’s okay) or if your lack of motivation is truly lack of desire. Understand that your goal may take some time and effort to achieve and continue forward with persistence. Those who persist, especially in times like these, are those who ALWAYS win!

Until next time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

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The Most Powerful Word- No!

Hey Boo!

You ever get tired of saying ‘yes’? Society has set the tone that the default answer to nearly every question is “Yes.” Advertising is all geared towards getting us to say “Yes – I need that.” We phrase our inquiries looking for yes: “Would you like more coffee?” “Would you be interested in joining me for dinner?” “Would you help me move next week?” “Would you mind if I asked you a personal question?” “Do you love me?”

With such a powerful default answer ingrained in us it can be very difficult to say anything else – often leaving us feeling trapped, guilty, or frustrated as a result.

With such an expected and requested default answer “No” becomes one of the most powerful words we can use – if we can manage it! With all the pressure though, overcoming this momentum for “Yes” can be incredibly difficult sometimes.

While it is still very important to make sure we are clear about what we want to say yes to, it is equally important if not more so, to be clear when to say no. Specifically the issue here is to be clear about what is important to you. Yes and no are equally viable and relevant answers in the appropriate circumstances – but may yield dramatically different results.

Saying yes when we really mean no can lead to resentment, frustration, confusion, and dissatisfaction. Understanding and applying the right answer at the right time is super important – but how do we figure it out?

The most important step in figuring out which answer is right is to start off by understanding what is important to you. This can be done with a simple reflection process. Take a moment to slow down and sink into your body. Allow yourself to notice sensations in your body without seeking to change them. Relax and connect with your inner voice of knowledge.

Now ask yourself a few simple questions about issues in your life. Notice how your body reacts. Is it energized? Does your body feel drained or depleted? One of those reactions will occur with Yes and the other with No in response to the question. Typically, the response that energizes us the most is the answer that is most relevant and thus most important to us. All you need to do is notice the response and thus the answer.

So now that we have our Yes/No list of life – how do we apply it? That seems easier said than done sometimes. The reality is it all boils down to the simple issue of honesty. Are you ready, willing and able to be honest first with yourself and then with others? This can be the hardest step as well as the most liberating.

Try out the “no” answer on something small at first. Maybe something as simple as “Would you like more coffee?” or a similar question.

Notice the contentment and satisfaction you feel in giving the honest answer or even just using the word! See where we can begin to apply that answer in ways that feel comfortable and empowering. Notice how your body reacts and feels more alive. Experiment with new questions and new opportunities.

Once you get comfortable with this easier answer comes the hard part – how do you say no to something we already said yes to? While perhaps a bit more uncomfortable it is still the same technique of honesty. When speaking with honesty it is also important to speak with patience, compassion and understanding. Remember that what we are essentially doing is changing the message we have previously communicated. Do not allow guilt or shame to color the communication though. Speak clearly about your decision and the realization to change the answer.

With openness and honesty, we can all speak clearly from our hearts about what is truly yes and truly no. Over time it gets easier, and we have to correct ourselves less and less.

If you find that saying no is especially difficult for you due to a history of people pleasing, then you should attend the From Grieving to Glowing Workshop on 2/24/2024 where we will be discussing anxiety, depression, people pleasing and other effects of narcissistic abuse along with tips on how to combat those effects.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, could you do two things for me?

  1. Remember that ‘No” is a complete sentence on its own.
  2. Keep Glowing
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Creating the Best Year of Your Life!

Self-Reflect Your Way to a Glow-Up

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I am so excited about this blog! This is something that I stumbled upon in my archives. (Oh yeah, I have loads of content for all my readers and followers, so hold on to your hats!!) And be sure to check out my website www.glowwithmimi.com for ebooks on financial and life coaching topics.

Oh! Where was I? Yes, Creating the best year of your life!

At the end of each year, and on their birthdays, many people take time to reflect and look ahead. If you’re one of these people, or if you would like to start getting the benefits from a little self-reflection, I have some great questions for you.

These questions can be looked at once a year, once a month or whenever you’re looking for some direction in your life. I invite you to take a good hard look at your life more than once a year. You’ll get a lot more out of your life if you’re more conscious about what you’re creating.

These questions have been designed to help you to take time to complete the year and to formulate the new year from a clean slate. By working on the following questions, you will complete this year powerfully so you can have the room to build a new “me” for the new year.

Looking at this past year:

1. What do I want to be acknowledged for?

2. What did I accomplish?

3. What did I want to accomplish that I did not accomplish? (Do I still want to do this?)

4. What did I say I would do that I didn’t do? (Do I still want to do this?)

5. Who do I need to be in communication with? 5a. Who do I need to cease communication with?

6. What were my biggest disappointments? 6a. Can those disappointments be avoided moving forward?

7. What did I learn? – List 3 lessons which will make the most difference if you remember them this year?

(See them as guidelines for next year).

Changing patterns:

1. How do you limit yourself and how can you transform these actions to be powerful?

2. What do you say to yourself to explain your failures? (These false beliefs are your limiting paradigm).

3. List your limiting paradigm.

4. List your new paradigm which must be personal, positive, present tense, powerfully and simply stated, pointing to an exciting future.

5. Read your new paradigm out loud when you awake and before going to sleep each day. Teach your subconscious that this is your paradigm.

Looking ahead:

1. What are your personal values? What is most important to you in your life? What drives you?

2. What roles do you play in your life? Rate each role on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the most important.

3. Where is your life out of balance? If you could put one problem behind you, once and for all, what would it be?

4. Which role is your major focus for next year? (In what role do you want a breakthrough performance? If you could put a check mark by one of these roles at the end of next year showing, showing that you felt good about how you are playing that role, which one would it be?)

5. What are your goals for each role?

The way that this works is that for at least a week or two you ask yourself the above questions. I write them down and do it in writing several different times. Then after doing that for all of the above questions you answer one final question:

What do I want to accomplish and who do I want to be in the coming year?

Wow! Awesome right? Write these questions down and answer them honestly. Not for anyone else, but for you. If you do this exercise and apply what you’ve written, you are well on your way to Creating the Best Year of Your Life!

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

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What Station are You On?

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Do you want to do something different? Not just different, but life changing! Maybe you have a goal, a dream, a hope, an ambition in your mind that you’ve been quiet about. And you’ve been quiet because you want this thing so badly, but you don’t think you can have it. Maybe you’re afraid that your family and friends won’t support you- that they’ll call you crazy. Does this sound like you? A person who wants more out of life, but it always seems to be so far out of reach. Are you the one? The one who has big dreams that you hope to make a reality.

Well, if that’s you then I have great news! Your dreams can become a reality with hard work, planning, consistency, and the right mindset. Think of mindset as a frequency or radio station. When you want to listen to a particular radio station, you tune your radio to that station, tuning in to a particular frequency. Same when you want to watch a particular show on TV.  It is the frequency you tune into that determines what you hear and what you see.

Our brains operate in very much the same way, except that we have only two stations we can tune into – the ego station and the elevated (or higher-self) station.

The ego station is the station that originates in the programmed mind, which contains all our limiting beliefs that create our fears. The ego station is our wounded self, our false self – the protected self we learned to be as we were growing up and needed to find ways to have control over getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe. Our ego wounded self is a closed circuit – it operates on old information that we acquired as we were growing up, information that is no longer relevant or even true. It is not open to new information. It is not open to truth.

The elevated station is the station that taps into the unlimited information from the universe – information that is beyond the programmed mind. This station has self- awareness. And with that comes confidence, peace, and true contentment. The elevated station taps into the Source of truth that is always here to guide us in our highest good.

How do you tune your frequency to your elevated station?

We have all been given a “dial” that either tunes us to the low frequency of our ego station, or to the high frequency of our elevated station. This dial is our INTENT.

We have only two intents to choose from:

  1. The intent to get love and avoid pain with some form of controlling behavior
  1. The intent to learn about loving ourselves and others

The intent to have control over getting love and avoiding pain lowers our frequency and keeps us stuck in our limited mind – our ego mind. When we choose this intent/frequency, we are stuck thinking the thoughts – the lies – and taking the unloving actions that create fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, stress, anger, jealousy, resentment, and so on. The ego frequency is the frequency of being a victim. We choose this frequency when we choose the intent to have control over getting love and avoiding pain.

At any moment, we can change our minds and choose the intent to learn – about what is in our highest good and the highest of all. We can choose to learn about our ego mind rather than stay stuck in it. The moment we choose the intent to learn about love, we raise our frequency and are able to access the elevated station. This is like moving out of the limitations of our personal computer and into the Internet – only better. While some of the information on the Internet is true and some is not, all of the information we receive from the elevated station is true – it comes from the Source of Truth.

The only thing that stops us from choosing the elevated station is our addiction to control. The ego mind wants control over our feelings, over others’ feelings and actions, and over the outcome of things. When your desire for control is greater than your desire to be loving to yourself and others, and greater than your desire to live in truth, you will remain stuck in the ego station.

The ego station tells us that we can have control over things that we actually have no control over – others and outcomes. While we can have some control over our feelings with various addictions, this only leads to greater unhappiness. Our feelings are an inner guidance system, letting us know when we are on track or off track in our thinking and behavior, so suppressing them with addictions only lead to more pain.

You will discover great joy when you choose the intent to learn about loving yourself and others and access the incredible information that is yours when you are tuned into your elevated station. I am on this journey now. I’m far from perfect, my frequency gets a little static from time to time but I get so much joy from tuning in to my elevated station as often as I can!

Until next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

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Coaching Blog: Born to Be an Optimist

Born To Be an Optimist

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Today, I really wanna talk to you about optimism. Optimism is vital in life, especially adult life. There will be challenges and tough times that are an unavoidable part of life’s journey. A person’s mindset during those tough times heavily influences the impact and outcome of a situation.

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.“

– Winston Churchill

An optimist, when faced with a problem, tends to find the upside to the situation and starts figuring out ways to solve that problem, or ways to turn it around.  A pessimist, however, immediately throws up his hands, and yells, “That’s it; it’s all over. I can’t handle this anymore.”  Or he will distance himself from the problem, pretending it doesn’t matter.  This is denial, and it never works.

According to the world’s foremost expert on optimism, Dr. Martin Seligman, everyone is born optimistic.  And yet, 95% of grownups are pessimists, not optimists. So, what goes wrong? Well, the isn’t one simple answer, but I believe that most people become pessimists because of the way society shapes us to think. We are told what’s practical, what’s acceptable, what’s possible even. The people close to us tell us about their negative experiences and situations, discouraging us all the more. We begin to think that failing is the norm. But this isn’t true at all! Our mindset, whether we or hopeful or doubtful, plays a major part in our success…or our defeat.

  If a person feels like something will go well or feels optimistic about it, it usually seems to go well. The same is true of the reverse.  When someone feels like something will go badly, it tends to do just that.

An indication that you are dealing with a pessimist is in a simple phrase they will use in stressful situations – “I can’t”.  The pessimist is helpless, powerless and it shows in his response.  The optimist responds with – “I can”.  The optimist is making a conscious choice. Positive, hopeful, and determined.

An optimist prefers to focus on what could go right as opposed to what could go wrong.

Think about the following statements:

  • Optimists achieve their goals because they never give up.
  • Optimists attract Success naturally.
  • Optimists are happier, healthier, and more energetic than pessimists.
  • Optimists are easier to be around, inspiring people around them to be positive.
  • Optimists live longer and suffer from fewer and less severe diseases.
  •  Optimists have a higher quality of life.

Which ones do you think are true? These are all probably true just by the fact that optimists’ positive thinking makes challenging situations “not that bad” after all. When you practice having a positive outlook, you are less affected by negativity.

Now true optimism is not sitting back, thinking positive thoughts, and hoping everything will turn out all right.  It’s choosing to focus on a positive aspect of the situation or learning a valuable lesson from the ordeal.  You face each situation, each problem, and each occasion with a positive attitude; and you always look forward to the “benefits” you will derive from it. You have a choice.  “Change your thoughts and change your world,” said Norman Vincent Peale. What it comes down to is that your attitude is a conscious choice.  If you choose pessimism, you’re choosing to see the downside of every situation, judge people unfairly, and live unhappily the rest of your life.  What an oppressive existence!

On the other hand, if you choose optimism, you’re empowering yourself to see the positive side of each challenge, seeing the good in people, helping them to see the good in life too.  Taking action to further improve your own life and living happily with friends and family who care about you.  Attracting all good to yourself. Choosing to be more optimistic and positive does not mean you won’t encounter difficult times, trauma, loss, and many challenges.  What it does mean is that you will have more power on your side to help you through those tough times. The more elevated your mind state is, the easier it is for you to rise above your circumstances.  You’ll bounce back faster and make better choices, rather than letting life just wash over you.  You’ll learn to be proactive instead of reactive.

If you’re not naturally optimistic and positive, don’t worry.  You can learn how to use your thoughts to change your attitude and emotions. Some days will be challenging, but you can do it.  Improving your optimism rate is one of the most important actions you can take to improve your life.  It doesn’t come automatically, though.  It takes effort. It takes deliberate, conscious awareness of your thoughts and feelings.  And then acting on that awareness.

Each time you think a negative thought, stop right there and turn it around to find the positive aspect of the situation. Do this each time and build on it.  It will become a habit to be positive and upbeat about your life.

Let’s try this:

Practice your ‘positive thinking’ and your ‘positive feeling’.  Give yourself permission to think new thoughts and feel new feelings.

You can be as optimistic that you will attract wealth for the things you want, like a new car or new house.  The positive thoughts and brain activity helps to push things to that end, and you will get there. 

So, I would say to you: Be Optimistic!  Expect the best out of life! Think and Act Optimistically.

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls!

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The Benefits of Authentic Self- Love

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I have been working on some really useful content, and I’m happy to announce that I have personal development e-books available for purchase on SamCart that can help you change your life. At the moment, I have four e-books available:

Awaken Your True Calling

Gain Mental Clarity

The Gratitude Plan

Love Thyself

This week, I’m going to talk about the benefits of authentic self-love and highlight some of the points in my self-love e-book entitled Love Thyself. Enjoy!

Self-Love is the ultimate way to boost your self-esteem and become a fully healed and integrated human being. But so many people misunderstand what self-love truly is and how important it is to own our happiness. Truth be told, there are many people who do not have authentic self-love.

What is Self-Love?

There are many levels and descriptions of self-love and it can get complicated the more people you ask. To put it simply, self-love is honesty and acceptance of yourself. Self-Love is being in love with the person you are still evaluating yourself and striving to improve. Love literally powers the world. If you don’t love yourself, then you do not have power over yourself.

Here are some self-love exercises to help you strengthen your sense of self:

Shift Your Thoughts

The waking and sleeping hours are a prime time to master your thoughts and emotions. As you drift off to sleep, shift your thoughts to something positive or pleasant. These states are more powerful and set the tone for the rest of the day and night.

Journal

Keeping a gratitude journal is perfect for appreciating who you are and all that you have accomplished. The more you focus on things to be grateful for, the more things to be grateful for come to mind. A grateful mindset elevates your sense of self because you now have a positive mindset, and a positive mindset raises your level of self-love and self-awareness.

Prioritize Yourself

This is something that I mention in The Evolution as well. This step is paramount in the journey of self-love and self-discovery. Put yourself first with vacations, massages, extreme sports, concerts- whatever it is that you want to do. Unplug from technology and remove yourself from your everyday concerns for a few days or a few hours. You deserve supreme enjoyment, and it is what you are here for. Sadly, most people think that life is supposed to be a painful chore and create stress for themselves. Do not do this to yourself.

Do Not Interfere

Stop interfering with others at all costs. Unsolicited advice or actions from outside sources are rarely received well. Although we may have good intentions, interfering in someone else’s life is imposing our will on them and it is not our place to do that. It is important to be mindful of the boundaries of others, just as others should be mindful of your boundaries.

There seems to be some sort of virus going around where people are trying to make the world a better place by pointing out everything that’s wrong with the world and the people in it. But this is counterproductive. We must focus on ourselves as individuals first. If you do not focus on your own self-development, you will stifle yourself and elevation won’t be possible. And then you may find others interfering in your life in a similar fashion.

Meditate on Love

Meditation on love or focusing on the heart chakra is a chief recommendation among ancient spiritual scriptures. The heart chakra is a doorway to the higher self. If you put your energy there for extended periods of time, you’re sure to feel a wonderful shift and rise to your vibrational frequency. Heart work can be challenging, but it’s worth it.

Well, those are some of the highlights from the e-book. If you’d like more tips and self-love help, go ahead and purchase my e-book entitled Love Thyself.

You’re definitely worth it!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls…

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Find your Focus

Hello beautiful souls! 💖

Have you ever experienced an obstacle or road block while trying to accomplish a goal? I think we all have. As we set out to accomplish goals in our lives it’s commonplace to encounter an obstacle here and there. But sometimes the discouragement and frustration caused by those obstacles can throw us off track and cause us to lose focus.

When we experience the feelings of discouragement and frustration, it is important not to give way to those emotions. We must only acknowledge them and allow them to pass. Once you let the negative feelings pass you must refocus and continue to apply effort. Know with a certainty that success is always on the other side of effort. It’s only a matter of time.

If you are having trouble finding your focus after a setback or obstacle, here are some helpful tips to find your focus and get your mind back onto your goals!

1. Think Positive

You may be thinking ‘easier said than done’, right? But in this context what I mean by ‘be positive’ is don’t quit mentally. Believe in yourself and know that there is a solution to every single problem you face. Process the obstacle as a learning experience and look for the good in it. Move forward knowing that there are better days ahead!

2. Keep A Clear, Open Mind

Always be ready to receive new ideas. Focus and concentrate. Think in a wide scale manner and always be open to new options that eliminate your obstacle. Brainstorming with peers, coworkers, or a coach is a great way to stir up some new ideas as well as refocus.

Meditation is a wonderful way to regain focus. When you meditate, you still the mind and get rid of excess noise. Excess noise is anything that distracts you from your current goal. It could be day to day nuances or huge life events that present themselves at the most inconvenient times. Either way, meditation can help you slow down your thoughts and reign in the ego. When the ego is subdued it is easier to have positive thoughts. Those positive thoughts create more positive thoughts. And with the increase of positive thoughts you begin to feel happy, relaxed, and full of gratitude. This is the best state of mind for goal setting and focus.

3. Persist and Persevere

Be sure to exhaust every possibility. Do not be afraid of trial and error. Exploring every option and aspect will increase knowledge and experience in your desired area. This knowledge, in turn will lead you to accomplish your goal with continued effort. Remember: Success is always on the other side of effort.

4. Simulate

Try to picture in your head a possible solution to help overcome and/or solve the problem you are having and return your focus to your goal.

Visualization is a really good way to simulate. Visualization is powerful because the subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish your concentrated thoughts from your reality. With diligence, your mind will accept your visualizations and work to create the reality that you visualize.

How to Visualize

Relax. Close your eyes and try to see as many accurate details as you can. For example, if you want a car, visualize the make, model, color, year, and interior of the car you want. If you can, go a bit further and imagine the fresh car smell and feel yourself sitting in the driver seat. When you think often of a thing your brain creates it. So why not think of positive things that you’d like to create? When you visualize, you can literally see it happening!

5. Ask for Help

If all fails, get assistance from others you know who are more knowledgeable on the work being done. Even if their suggestions are not the exact ones you were hoping to hear, they may trigger some new ideas and ways for you to refocus, set your goals, and find the solution to your problem.

You got this!

Until next time, beautiful souls! 💖

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2 Keys to Boosting Your Inner Confidence

Hello Beautiful souls! I’ve been spreading myself a bit thin over the last several weeks. I’ve been writing my book, working on content, preparing to launch my life coaching business, while working my 9 to 5. From now on, my blogs will be posted on this site as well as my patreon site so that more people are able to see it.

http://www.patreon.com/glowwithmimi

I would really like as many people to see it as possible; so if you know someone that may benefit from my blogs- please share! Let’s build each other up. I want to help as many people find their inner glow as I can.

During my journey of self discovery and my evolution to becoming a life coach, I’ve learned one very important thing – inner confidence is the key to it all.

There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they’re all redundant if the foundation isn’t there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the three keys to real inner confidence.

1. Get To Know Your Values

Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. I make no apology for that though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are; and they’re the building blocks, the foundations and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that’s most important to you, and could include things like beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement or freedom.

Why is it that some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated or deflated? It’s because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed or repressed – and we experience that as a negative experience because it’s denying a fundamental piece of who you are. You know those times when you’ve felt really alive, amazing or buzzing? Those are the times when one or more of your values are being honored, and you can get more of that by living according to them.

Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. You can have absolute confidence in them because they’re there all the time just waiting for you to notice and use them. When you get to know your values, you can start to make choices and align your life around them. It’s so simple and it feels amazing because all that really means is that you’re allowing who you are to live in the real world.

2. Exercise the Muscle

Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle you need to exercise it so that it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. How do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results you were looking for.

It’s just the same with confidence. Let’s say that you’re the kind of person that doesn’t take many risks, the kind of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you think to yourself ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘that’s not who I am’ or ‘I don’t really want it anyway.’ That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be and so the less confident they become.

To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, to try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, what you do and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity and possibility the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you’ll develop. That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?”

That is the question that I had to ask myself. What am I going to do to exercise it?

And now, I pose that same question to you. What are you going to do to exercise your muscle?

Let me know in the comments. 🙂

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls

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Self-Evaluation

Hello beautiful souls 💖

This week, the focus is on self-evaluation. Self-evaluation is the third (and most pivotal) step in our evolution. Self evaluation, or shadow work, is a process that has brought forth a lot of healing for me on my journey.

Self Evaluation is so important because no real progress can be made without it.

No one can truly show up for themselves; neither can they be intentional without evaluating their behaviors first. Self evaluation enables a person to know their strengths and challenges. Only then can a person truly show up and adequately assess the areas where they should be more intentional.

What does self evaluation really mean?

My interpretation of self evaluation is a combination of self awareness and self discovery. It’s being 100% truthful with myself about my emotions and triggers. When I feel triggered or become frustrated, I immediately ask myself why I am feeling the way that I am. I consider the four agreements- am I breaking one of them? I continue to ask myself questions and evaluating my emotions and responses until I find the root of the problem.

Sometimes, my evaluation goes deeper than a few self check questions and I take a more extensive approach that involves journaling and meditation.

Each step in the Evolution process works together to ensure our progression into greatness. Self evaluation eventually leads to self mastery- a beautiful level of elevation that I am still striving to reach.

The process of evaluating ourselves may be uncomfortable at times, but it is definitely worth it! This brings up our vibration as well as prevents us from repeating painful lessons.

Whatever method of self-evaluation you use,(journaling, meditation, prayer, hobbies and activities, therapy, etc) I wish you well on your evolution.

Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions, and/or comment if you have tips or suggestions to add to this topic. 🙂

Until next time beautiful souls 💖

Never Change

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Hello Beautiful souls 💖

I was reflecting on some things and wanted to share something with you.

Here’s what I learned: I’ve learned to never change for the satisfaction of another. No matter how I love or think I love a person. A person asking you to change is a person telling you that they do not accept you as you are. It’s saying, ‘you’re almost good enough, but you gotta fix this first.’

Now, if someone brings to your attention a negative or self sabotaging behavior and you elect to adjust – that’s great because it’s your choice. You recognize this as an opportunity to grow or improve and have chosen to make a change. This change then is to please yourself and not the other person.

But if you change yourself to please someone else, at some point, resentment will fester. And that’s what happened with me.

It took me quite a while to see things this way. Initially, I was fine with the idea of making adjustments-especially for the sake of love. My spouse said that it would help our marriage and he would be satisfied if I made this change for him. And so I did.

But one change became another. And another. And yet another. I had made so many changes, that I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I had become a shell of my former self: broken, depressed, and codependent.

This, I knew, was not who I was supposed to be. It’s taken quite a bit of work and I’m still working, but I regain more of myself everyday. I am no longer in that toxic environment, and each day I work to be a more improved, balanced version of myself.

I will never again change to fit someone else’s idea of what I should be. And I hope you don’t either.

Until next time, beautiful souls. I wish you so much Love and Light!

Mimi 💖💖

Reclaiming Your Future

There is a particular kind of grief that comes with looking at your life and thinking, “It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.”

Maybe you thought you would be in a different place by now. You pictured a relationship that lasted, a home that felt secure, work that fulfilled you, or more time with someone you loved. Maybe you spent years meeting everyone else’s needs, and now you’re wondering where your own hopes went.

Sometimes we grieve the life we expected alongside everything we actually lost.

If that is where you are, take a breath. You don’t have to rush into optimism. There is room to acknowledge what hurts and begin wondering what might still be possible.

Let yourself grieve the future you imagined

Moving forward can feel complicated when part of you is still attached to an earlier version of your life.

That version mattered. You may have loved it, worked toward it, and made sacrifices for it. You are allowed to be disappointed that it didn’t unfold the way you hoped.

Making space for that grief doesn’t require you to stay there forever. It gives you a chance to understand what you were longing for.

Was it companionship? Stability? Freedom? A place to belong?

Some of those needs may still guide you, even if the way you meet them changes. You can move forward with what matters without recreating every detail of the original plan.

Notice when pain becomes a prediction

After disappointment, it can feel safer to expect very little. You might catch yourself saying, “Things never work out for me,” or “There’s no point in trying now.”

Those thoughts can be understandable responses to what you’ve lived through. But they can also narrow the choices you allow yourself to consider.

You don’t have to replace them with promises you can’t believe. Try something more honest: “I don’t know how this will unfold, but I can explore one possibility.”

Your past has shaped your life, but you still get a say in what happens next. Your options may be limited by money, health, responsibilities, or circumstances you didn’t choose. Making small, realistic choices within those limits can help you progress a lot.

Ask what you want now

Last week, we explored reclaiming your purpose. This week, we can ask how that purpose might find a place in your everyday life.

What would you like more room for? What are you tired of organizing your life around? Which hopes still feel like yours, and which ones came from someone else’s expectations?

You may discover that you want something different now. Perhaps you once idealized the grind and constant achievement, but now you long for work that leaves you the energy to enjoy your evenings. Perhaps a dream you set aside still interests you, but you need a gentler way to pursue it.

Let your answers reflect the person you are today. You don’t owe an old plan your entire future.

Choose one step you can sustain

A future can feel overwhelming when you try to solve it all at once. Bring the question closer: what could you do this week?

You might spend twenty minutes researching a course, set aside a small amount of money, ask someone for help, or make time to paint simply because you enjoy it. You might protect a day of rest so you have more capacity for the choices ahead.

Choose something that fits your current resources. A step that repeatedly exhausts you may need to be smaller or supported differently.

Then notice what you learn. Did that choice bring relief, interest, or a clearer sense of what you need? Use that information to decide what comes next. You are allowed to adjust.

Make room for a future you can care about

You don’t need certainty before you begin participating in your life again.

You can be hopeful and cautious.

You can still miss what was lost while making room for a new experience.

This week, sit with this question:

“If I stopped treating my future as something I’ve already lost, what could I begin making room for?”

Let the answer be modest if it needs to be. A peaceful morning. A friendship. A creative project. A plan you can revisit without judging yourself.

Across these twelve weeks of reclamation, we’ve made space to reflect on what we want to bring back into our lives. That reflection can continue in the ordinary choices we make from here.

Your future still deserves your care. And so do you.

Til next time.

Reclaiming Your Purpose: You Were Never Behind

Hey Boo.

There comes a point in your healing when survival is no longer the only question.

You’ve spent so much time asking, ‘How do I get through this? How do I protect myself? How do I rebuild?’

Then one day, another question begins quietly rising within you:

What do I want my life to mean now?

That question can feel exciting- but it can also feel intimidating. Maybe you thought you would have everything figured out by now. Perhaps the life you once imagined no longer fits the person you’ve become. Or perhaps you’ve spent so many years meeting other people’s needs, fulfilling responsibilities, surviving painful experiences, and becoming who you needed to be that you never had the freedom to ask what you truly wanted.

If that’s where you are, you’re not behind. You may simply be meeting yourself beyond survival for the first time.

When Survival Drowns Out Your Purpose

Survival mode teaches you to focus on what is urgent. You learn how to make it through the day, hold everything together, anticipate problems, care for the people around you, and keep moving even when you’re exhausted. There may not be much room left for curiosity, creativity, dreaming, or exploring what makes you come alive.

This doesn’t mean you lost your purpose. It means your purpose may have been buried beneath responsibility, fear, pain, and the identities you had to wear to survive. You may have become the dependable one, the strong one, the caretaker, the problem-solver, the peacekeeper, or the person who could always find a way. Those roles may have helped you through difficult seasons- but they are not the entirety of who you are.

Reclaiming your purpose begins with allowing yourself to ask:

Who am I when no one needs anything from me?

You do not need to have an immediate answer. The question itself creates an opening.

Purpose Is Not the Same as Productivity

We live in a world that often measures purpose by titles, accomplishments, income, influence, or how much we can produce. But your purpose is not a performance. It is not something you must prove by constantly working, building, or achieving. It doesn’t become more legitimate when it makes money, receives applause, or looks impressive to someone else.

Sometimes purpose looks like creating something that helps another person feel understood. Sometimes it looks like raising a family, breaking an unhealthy pattern, sharing what you’ve learned, making art, building community, telling the truth, or becoming a safe place for yourself.

Sometimes your purpose in a particular season is simply to heal. That season is not empty. Restoring your relationship with yourself is meaningful work- even when nobody else can see it.

Your worth is inherent. Purpose is an expression of who you are, not evidence that you deserve to exist.

Your Pain Can Inform Your Purpose- But it Does Not Own It

Many people discover purpose through what they have survived. Their experiences awaken compassion, reveal injustice, deepen their wisdom, or inspire them to help someone else feel less alone. There is something powerful about transforming pain into service.

But you are not required to turn every wound into work. You do not have to remain emotionally attached to the most painful chapters of your life to prove that they mattered. You are allowed to outgrow the version of your purpose that was built entirely around what hurt you. Your pain may have taught you something, but it does not get to own your future.

Purpose can grow from your joy too. It can live in what fascinates you, what makes you lose track of time, what you would explore even without recognition, and what feels natural when you are not judging yourself. Your purpose may be found not only in the battles you survived, but also in the beauty you are finally giving yourself permission to experience.

Purpose Leaves Clues

Purpose doesn’t always arrive as one dramatic revelation. More often, it leaves small clues throughout your life. It appears in the conversations that energize you. It shows up in the subjects you continually return to, the problems you feel drawn to solve, the injustices you cannot ignore, and the possibilities you see when others feel stuck.

It may be hiding inside the things people naturally come to you for. It may live in the dreams you keep postponing because they seem impractical, too big, too small, or too late. It may be found in something you do simply because it brings you joy.

Pay attention to what makes you feel more like yourself- not more impressive, useful, or more acceptable, but more alive.

Those moments are information.

Your Purpose is Allowed to Evolve

The purpose that carried you through one chapter may not be the purpose that leads you into the next. That does not mean you failed or chose incorrectly. It means you grew.

You are allowed to change direction. You can discover new gifts, develop new desires, and release dreams that belonged to an earlier version of you. You are allowed to stop forcing yourself into a calling that no longer feels honest because you once committed to it.

Purpose is not always one assignment you receive and complete. It can be a thread running through many different seasons and expressions. The job may change. The platform may change. The people you serve may change. But beneath those changes, you may notice the same values continuing to guide you- healing, truth, freedom, creativity, connection, justice, compassion, or growth.

Instead of just asking, what am I supposed to do? You could also try asking:

How do I want people to feel after encountering me?

What do I want my life to stand for?

What feels meaningful to me now?

These questions move purpose away from pressure and closer to alignment.

You Don’t Need the Entire Plan

You may be waiting for complete clarity before you begin. But purpose is often revealed through participation. You learn what matters by following one curiosity, honoring one desire, sharing one truth, or taking one small step toward what feels meaningful. You do not need to see the whole road to recognize the next honest move. Clarity grows when you engage with your life.

Let yourself experiment without demanding that every interest become a permanent identity. Let yourself create things that are imperfect. Allow yourself to begin again without treating your previous path as wasted time. Nothing you have lived is wasted when it brings you closer to yourself.

Reclaiming Your Purpose

Reclaiming your purpose is not about inventing a more impressive version of yourself. It is about removing the expectations, roles, fears, and survival patterns that made it difficult to hear your own voice. It’s remembering that you are more than what happened to you, more than what you have accomplished, and more than what you can do for other people.

You do not have to chase your purpose as though it is hiding somewhere beyond your reach. It may already be present in the way you love, the way you create, the truths you keep returning to, and the life that begins to emerge when you finally ask yourself what you want.

You are not too late.

You are not too old.

You have not missed your moment.

You are meeting this version of your purpose at the exact point in your life when you have the wisdom to recognize it. Your purpose isn’t always hiding somewhere ahead of you. Sometimes it is waiting beneath everything you learned to become just to survive.

And perhaps this chapter is not asking you to have your entire life figured out. Maybe it is simply asking you to listen- and to trust what comes alive when you do.

Til next time.

Want to go a little deeper? Subscribe to the Inner Glow blog for exclusive journal prompts.

Reclaiming Your Power

Hey Boo,

There are experiences that can make you feel as though your power has been taken from you.

Being controlled, silenced, dismissed, mistreated. Having decisions made for you. Being placed in circumstances you never would have chosen. Or spending so much time surviving that you forget you are allowed to want more than whatever gets you through the day.

Sometimes losing your sense of power doesn’t look dramatic. It could look like constantly second-guessing yourself, staying quiet to avoid conflict, or waiting for someone else to validate what you already know. Sometimes it’s accepting what hurts because you don’t believe you have another option. Making yourself smaller so someone else can remain comfortable. Or allowing fear to make every decision before you have a chance to speak.

After a while, powerlessness can begin to feel like part of your identity. But it isn’t.

Your power may have been suppressed, ignored, manipulated, or buried beneath survival. That does not mean it disappeared.

Power is Not the Same as Control

Sometimes we imagine that reclaiming our power means becoming fearless, untouchable, or completely in control. But control and power are not the same thing.

Control says:

Nothing can happen unless I allow it.

Power says:

Whatever happens, I will not abandon myself.

You cannot control every outcome. You can’t make people understand you, respect your boundaries, choose you, apologize, change, or give you the closure you deserve. You cannot rewrite what has already happened.

But you can decide what access someone has to you now. You can decide what you will no longer participate in. You determine whose opinion gets to shape how you see yourself, or whether an old experience continues making your present decisions. You can listen to your own voice- even when someone else disagrees.

Power is not the ability to control everything around you. Power is remembering that you still have choices within you.

Notice Where You Have Been Giving Your Power Away

Losing your sense of power doesn’t always happen in big, obvious, forceful ways. Sometimes it happens quietly.

You give your power away when you need someone’s approval before you trust your own decision. When you allow rejection to determine your worth. By repeatedly explaining a boundary to someone who benefits from ignoring it. You give your power away by making another person’s behavior responsible for your peace. And when you remain emotionally available to people who consistently mishandle your vulnerability. Giving your power away could also look like waiting for an apology before giving yourself permission to heal, or believing that you can’t move forward until someone finally understands what they did to you.

Many of these patterns begin as ways of surviving, maintaining connection, keeping the peace, or protecting yourself from further pain. That by no means makes you weak, you did what you knew how to do.

But survival strategies are not lifelong contracts.

You are allowed to recognize that something once protected you has now outlived its usefulness and should no longer lead you.

Your Power is in Your Participation

Not everything in your life was your choice. That truth deserves to be acknowledged and honored.

There may have been things done to you, losses you could not prevent, responsibilities you did not ask for, and seasons when your available choices were painfully limited. Reclaiming your power is not about blaming yourself for what you could not control, it’s about becoming curious about where choice exists now.

What conversation no longer requires your participation? Is there an expectation that you’re allowed to question or eliminate? What version of yourself are you no longer required to perform? What boundary can you uphold, even if someone dislikes it? What truth have you known that you’ve been afraid to honor? Is there one decision you can make from who you are becoming instead of what you have survived?

Sometimes your power is not in changing the entire situation. Sometimes it is in changing your participation in it.

Stop Asking Permission to Belong to Yourself

When you have spent years prioritizing other people’s needs, managing their reactions, or adapting yourself to remain safe and accepted, choosing yourself can feel wrong. You may feel selfish for setting a boundary. Guilty for disappointing someone. Uncomfortable when you stop overexplaining. Afraid that using your voice will cost you connection. But maintaining a connection with others is futile if you do not first belong to yourself.

Belonging to yourself does not mean you stop loving or caring about other people. It means you no longer disappear in order to do it. You are allowed to consider yourself when making decisions about your own life. You may certainly say ‘no’ without presenting a courtroom argument. You can change your mind when something no longer aligns with you. You may leave roles, relationships, environments, and beliefs that require your self-abandonment. You are allowed to trust the discomfort that tells you something is not right.

And you are allowed to choose differently-even if people do not celebrate your choices with you. You don’t need permission to belong to yourself.

Power Can Be Quiet

Reclaiming your power does not always look bold from the outside.

Sometimes it looks like not responding. Resting before your body forces you to stop. Keeping a promise you made to yourself. Allowing someone to misunderstand you instead of exhausting yourself trying to change their mind. Walking away without delivering one final speech. Or saying, ‘This doesn’t work for me.’

Reclaiming your power can also look like trying again after disappointment, letting yourself want more, telling the truth in your journal before you are ready to say it aloud, and an especially important one:

Asking for help.

Most times when we think of power we think loud, forceful, bold. And yes, power can be a roar. But it can also be the quiet moment when you realize-

I don’t have to keep doing this.

And then you choose yourself.

Reclaim One Choice at a Time

You do not have to transform your entire life today to prove that you are powerful. Power is rebuilt through patience.

Each time you honor a boundary, you practice power. Every time you listen to your intuition, you practice power. Each time you make a decision without abandoning yourself, you practice power. Every time you stop chasing validation and return to what you need, or walk away from what diminishes you, you practice power.

Small choices become evidence. Evidence becomes self-trust. And self-trust makes it easier to recognize that your life still belongs to you.

So, ask yourself:

Where does my power live in this moment?

Your power may live in your voice. Your boundary. Your attention. Your next decision. Your willingness to begin again. Your refusal to continue carrying what was never yours. Your ability to choose what receives your energy from this point forward.

You cannot change everything that happened. You cannot control everything that comes next. But you can meet yourself here- without shame, without blame, and without abandoning the person you are becoming. Your power was never dependent upon being untouched by life. It lives in your ability to return to yourself after everything you have survived.

You are not powerless. You are remembering that you have a voice. You have choices. You have agency. And you still have a say in what happens next.

This week, we are reclaiming our power.

Want to go a little deeper?

This blog is just the beginning. Subscribers get access to exclusive journaling prompts designed to help you take what you’ve read and explore what it means in your life. Because reclamation isn’t just something we read about- it’s something we practice.

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Reclaiming Your Confidence

Hey Boo!

You know what I’ve learned from experience?

I’ve learned that confidence doesn’t always disappear at once. Sometimes it gets chipped away.

A rejection here. A disappointment there. A mistake you can’t stop replaying. A season where nothing seems to be working. Someone’s criticism that landed a little too deeply. Watching other people move forward while you feel like you’re standing still.

And slowly, the voice that once said ‘I’ve got this’ starts asking:

What if I don’t?

Maybe you’ve experienced that. I know I have.

There are times when I need to remind myself of who I am, what I’ve survived, what I’ve accomplished, and what I am capable of. And I’ve realized something:

Sometimes confidence isn’t something you need to build. Sometimes it’s something you need to remember.

Confidence Can Be Bruised Without Being Lost

We often talk about confidence as though confident people never doubt themselves.

But confidence doesn’t require the absence of doubt. You can believe in yourself and still have moments when you’re uncertain. Know your worth and still feel the sting of rejection. You can be capable and still make mistakes. And you can come incredibly far and still encounter something that makes you wonder whether you’re good enough.

One difficult experience doesn’t erase everything you knew about yourself before it happened. Neither does one person’s inability to recognize your value. A failure certainly doesn’t define you. And neither does a season when you aren’t performing your best.

Your confidence may have taken a hit, but that doesn’t mean that it’s gone.

Be Careful What You Turn Into Evidence

Sometimes we experience something unpleasant and without realizing it, we turn that experience into evidence against ourselves.

I wasn’t chosen, so maybe I’m not desirable.

It didn’t work, so maybe I’m not capable.

They criticized me, so maybe I’m not good enough.

Someone else is further ahead, so maybe I’m behind.

I made the wrong decision, so maybe I can’t trust myself.

But an experience is not automatically a verdict. Rejection tells you that something didn’t align. A mistake tells you that you’re human. A setback tells you that something didn’t work this time. None of those things get to define your entire identity unless you hand them that authority.

Ask yourself:

What have I been using as evidence that I should doubt myself?

And then ask another question:

Is that actually what this experience proves?

You may discover that you’ve been carrying a conclusion that was never yours to keep.

Remember Your Receipts

If doubt gets to present evidence, so do you.

Remember the things you’ve figured out. The moments you were terrified and did it anyway. The decisions you made when nobody could make them for you. The skills you’ve developed. The boundaries you’ve learned to set. The things you once didn’t know how to do that now come naturally. The times life knocked you down, and you somehow found your footing again.

Your confidence doesn’t have to come from pretending you’re fearless. It can come from evidence.

I’ve handled hard things before.

I’ve learned things I once didn’t know.

I’ve recovered from mistakes.

I’ve survived disappointment.

I’ve rebuilt before.

Those are receipts. Keep them.

Stop Requiring Yourself to Feel Ready

Sometimes we think confidence comes first.

Once I feel confident, I’ll start. I’ll try once I’m sure I can do it. Once I’m no longer afraid, I’ll take the chance. But confidence is often built in the opposite direction. You move while you’re unsure. When you’re nervous, you still try. You speak even though your voice shakes. You take the first step without knowing exactly where the tenth one leads.

And afterward, you realize:

 I can do hard things even while I’m uncertain.

That realization becomes evidence. And the next time fear shows up, you have another receipt. Confidence isn’t always the thing that gets you through the door. Sometimes walking through the door is what creates it.

You Don’t Need to Compare Yourself

Confidence rooted in comparison will always be fragile because there will always be another person to compare yourself to.

And there will always be someone who seems more accomplished. More attractive. A person that has more success. Is more experienced. More polished. Or more certain. Reclaiming your confidence means bringing your attention back home.

Not: Am I better than them?

But: Am I fully becoming myself?

You don’t have to outperform another person to prove you belong. You don’t need universal approval to validate your value. And you don’t have to shrink because someone else shines. There is room for their light.

And there is room for yours.

Come Back to Yourself

Maybe you’ve been doubting yourself lately.

Maybe something happened that made you question what you bring to the table. You may have looked outside yourself for confirmation that you’re talented enough, attractive enough, capable enough, worthy enough, or ready enough.

This week, I want you to come back.

Not to some perfect, fearless version of yourself. To you.

The person who has learned. A person who has survived. The person who has grown. Someone who has gotten things wrong and kept going. The person who is still becoming.

You don’t need to know exactly how everything will turn out to believe in your ability to meet what comes next. And when doubt inevitably visits again, you don’t have to panic and assume you’ve lost your confidence. Sometimes you just need to pull out your receipts and remind yourself that you’ve always been capable.

Your confidence didn’t leave you.

Maybe life just got so loud that you couldn’t hear it for a while. It’s time to turn your voice back up. Reclaim your confidence. Remember your receipts.

And keep becoming the person who knows that even when they don’t have every answer, they can trust themselves to figure out what comes next.

Til next time.

Reclaiming Your Dreams: Learning to Imagine a Life Beyond Survival

Hey Boo,

There are seasons of life when dreaming feels natural.

You imagine what you want to become. You make plans. You get excited about possibilities. You allow yourself to wonder, What if? And then there are seasons when life becomes less about dreaming and more about surviving. Your focus shifts.

Instead of asking, “What do I want my life to become?” you start asking, “How do I get through this?”

Sometimes that shift happens because of heartbreak. Loss. Financial hardship. Burnout. Caregiving. Disappointment. Trauma. Responsibilities you never expected to carry. Whatever brought you there, survival has a way of shrinking your world down to what needs your attention right now.

Get through today. Handle the next problem. Pay the next bill. Put out the next fire. Keep going. And when you’ve lived that way long enough, you may eventually look up and realize:

I stopped imagining things for myself.

Not because you became lazy. Not because you lost your ambition. Not because you weren’t deserving or capable of more. Because you were too busy surviving.

Survival Changes the Questions We Ask

When you’re in survival mode, dreaming can almost feel irresponsible.

How are you supposed to think about purpose when you’re worried about stability? How are you supposed to imagine a beautiful future when the present requires everything you’ve got?

So sometimes, without realizing it, we stop asking ourselves what we want. We become incredibly good at identifying what everyone else needs from us. What needs to be handled. What needs to be fixed. What needs to happen next. But somewhere underneath all of the responsibility may still be a quieter question:

What about me?

What do I want? What excites me now? What would I create if I stopped assuming it was too late? What would my life look like if survival wasn’t making every decision? Those questions can feel uncomfortable when you haven’t asked them in a long time.

Ask them anyway.

You Are Allowed to Want Again

There is something deeply vulnerable about wanting something.

Because once we admit that we want it, we also have to acknowledge that we might not get it. And disappointment can teach us to protect ourselves by wanting less. We tell ourselves we’re being realistic. We stop getting our hopes up. We convince ourselves that what we have is enough- not because we’re genuinely content, but because wanting more feels dangerous.

But reclaiming your dreams isn’t about guaranteeing that everything you imagine will happen exactly the way you want it to. It’s about giving yourself permission to want again. To be curious again. To become excited about possibility again. To believe that your life can contain more than the things you’ve had to survive.

You Don’t Have to Go Back for Every Old Dream

Reclaiming your dreams doesn’t mean resurrecting every dream you’ve ever had.

Some dreams belonged to a version of you who didn’t know what you know now. Some of those dreams were built around expectations you no longer carry. Some were shaped by who thought you were supposed to become. And some dreams simply don’t fit anymore.

That’s okay.

You don’t owe your younger self the exact life they imagined. You owe yourself the freedom to discover what you want now. Maybe the dream changed. Maybe you changed. Maybe what once looked like achievement now looks like freedom. Maybe once looked like proving yourself now looks like creating something meaningful. Growth doesn’t require you to remain loyal to a vision you’ve outgrown.

Sometimes reclaiming your dreams means finally giving yourself permission to dream differently.

Start With Possibility

You don’t need a five-year plan. You don’t need to know exactly how you’re going to make it happen. You don’t even need to be completely confident that you can. Start smaller.

Ask yourself:

What would feel good to explore? What have I been curious about? What keeps quietly calling me back? What kind of life would feel like mine?

Sometimes the first step toward a dream isn’t a plan. It’s permission.

Permission to imagine. Permission to imagine. Permission to explore. Permission to try. Permission to change your mind. Permission to want something because it simply matters to you.

Your Dreams Don’t Have to Earn Their Right to Exist

Not every dream needs to become a business.

Not every interest needs to become productive. Not everything you love needs to make money, impress people, or prove something about you. Some dreams exist because they make you feel alive.

Maybe you want to travel somewhere you’ve always imagined visiting. Write something. Learn something. Create something. Build something. Experience something. Become something.

Or maybe your dream is quieter than it used to be.

Maybe you want a peaceful home. Meaningful relationships. Slow mornings. Work that doesn’t consume you. Room to create. Financial breathing room. A life where you don’t constantly feel like you’re recovering from your own schedule. Those are dreams too. You are allowed to define a beautiful life for yourself- even if your definition doesn’t look impressive to anyone else.

Look Beyond Survival

There may have been a version of you who couldn’t afford to think much further than tomorrow.

Honor them. They got you here.

But you don’t have to keep living by the rules that helped you survive a season you’ve already begun leaving. You can lift your eyes again. You can ask bigger questions again. You can imagine again. Not because life suddenly comes with guarantees. But because your future deserves to be shaped by more than your past.

So, maybe reclaiming your dreams begins with one question:

Who am I allowed to become now that survival doesn’t get to write my entire story?

You don’t have to know the answer right now. Just give yourself permission to imagine it. Because survival taught you how to make it through the day. Reclamation gives you permission to imagine tomorrow again.

And perhaps one of the most beautiful things you can reclaim is not a particular dream at all. Maybe it’s the part of you that still believes there is something ahead worth dreaming about.

Til Next Time, Boo.

Want to go a little deeper?

The blog is just the beginning. Subscribers get access to exclusive Reclamation Journaling Prompts designed to help you take what you’ve read and explore what it means in your life. Because reclamation isn’t just something we read about- it’s something we practice.

Subscribe to unlock this week’s prompts and continue your reclamation journey.