I’m all about transparency. I feel that in sharing my vulnerabilities; I can perhaps help someone else. Whether it’s preventing them from going down the same path, helping them realize their strengths, or to let them know that they aren’t alone- I just want to help people.
That being said; I just want to go on record and say that Depression is real. It’s not someone being “sad” or just trying to get attention. It’s far more than that. It’s starts internally. Sometimes it builds up. Sometimes it quickly overtakes the person suffering. Either way it goes- depression is real and can be debilitating.
I am currently going through a bout with depression. For weeks, I internalized my feelings. I didn’t want to burden anyone…but as the days crashed into each other and various situations and demands attacked me from all directions; I finally had a meltdown. It wasn’t a stage four freak-out or anything huge, but the depression had made itself impossible to hide.
I went out to my truck to run an errand and one of the tires were flat.
I came unhinged.
I was thinking about making my niece late for work, about how I had to call the attendance office for my daughter, about how little I felt I had done with my life, about Lupus, about everything imaginable-
And I burst into tears. I mean, I wept. This took all of my family members by surprise and they were concerned. I got hugged from all directions. My father took the car keys and headed to the tire shop, and my niece called her job and informed them of our car troubles.
Things were okay…for the time being. But I have a huge issue to resolve somehow. I’m not sure how to go about this. I’ve read that it’s good to set goals and maintain a routine, so I’m working on that. I’m also pushing myself to exercise (endorphins) and do things that I’d ordinarily enjoy.
It’s a process and I’m taking things one day at a time.
If you are a person who suffers from depression, I urge you to talk to someone. Look for the beauty and positivity in each day and focus on that. Know that you are loved. Invaluable. Please hold on. You can beat this!
Be blessed. I’ll see you on the mountain top. ❤️
Inner Glow Blog 