Hey Boo!

If you ever find yourself stuck overthinking, feeling on edge in your relationships, or going around and around in your thoughts, you’re definitely not alone. These habits don’t just pop up for no reason—they’re often how our bodies and minds try to protect us from getting hurt. When we learn about how these patterns are tied to our nervous system, it gets a bit easier to be kind to ourselves and maybe even change things for the better.

Overthinking: Trying to Stay Safe

A lot of the time, overthinking is your mind’s way of trying to keep you safe. When you’re unsure or feeling uneasy with someone, (or if you’ve experienced trauma in previous relationships) your brain might start running through every possible outcome or worry—just in case. It can feel tiring, but deep down, your brain’s just trying to help you avoid hurt or disappointment.

For many folks, this habit started because, somewhere along the line, being alert and planning ahead became an important part of survival. Thinking through every worst-case scenario can sometimes feel like the only way to avoid pain. But in safe or loving relationships, all this overthinking puts strain on the relationship and makes it harder to feel close and relaxed with your partner.

Hypervigilance in Relationships

Hypervigilance is basically being extra alert for anything that might go wrong—always watching for signs that something’s off, that someone might leave or let you down. If you’re always on edge, it’s tough to just let yourself trust and enjoy the moment.

This constant state of “watchfulness” comes from our bodies being stuck in fight-or-flight mode. If you’ve been through tough or unpredictable relationships before, your nervous system might still be on high alert, even when there’s no real danger. That makes letting your guard down and being vulnerable really hard.

Mental Looping: Your Body’s Stress Alarm

Mental looping means your mind keeps replaying things—like conversations, worries about the future, or doubts about what you said. These cycles are closely connected to how our bodies react to stress.

When something feels threatening (even if it’s just a tiny worry), our bodies get flooded with stress hormones. It’s like your nervous system sounds an alarm and suddenly your thoughts have hit the ground running. This was meant to keep us alert and ready, but instead, it traps us in anxious thoughts and “what ifs.”

How to Break the Cycle: Calming Your Nervous System

The good news? Overthinking, hypervigilance, and mental looping aren’t your fault—they’re just ways your mind and body try to help. There are gentle ways to calm your nervous system and take care of yourself:

• Mindfulness: Focusing on the here-and-now can help you break out of thought spirals and notice what you’re really feeling.
• Grounding Techniques: Simple things like deep breathing, noticing your senses, or relaxing your muscles can help signal to your body that you’re safe.
• Therapeutic Support: A good therapist can help you understand where these patterns come from and support you in building healthier ways to connect.

If you find yourself overthinking, hypervigilant, or stuck in mental loops, know that your nervous system is just trying to look out for you. With a little understanding and some gentle practices, you can feel safer in your relationships—with others and with yourself—and start to feel a lot more at ease.

If you aren’t already, follow me on Instagram @mimi.sums or on facebook Mimi Sums for affirmations, journaling prompts, and mindfulness content.

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…