A Simple Coping Strategy.

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I heard you’ve got problems.

We are all faced with problems throughout our lives, some are small, others huge. Depending on how we deal with them, they can be overwhelming and devastate our lives, or they can quickly fade into the past.

Attitude plays a big role. With a difficult personal or work undertaking, consider all viewpoints, even those you think you don’t like. It just might provide relief from your fearful analysis of the situation. Don’t oversize the problem which is often a panic reaction. Discuss the actions that you could take with a friend or co-worker which can sometimes provide a good suggestion and some instant stress relief.

Lay out a procedure and slowly complete the first task. The next steps should be easier. Often, we will keep on worrying after the decisions are made, which of course is of no help at all. If everything that can be done has been done, then it’s time to follow through.

“Our plans miscarry if they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” Lucius Seneca

Rejection can be an unpleasant experience, but it just lets us know that we aren’t perfect. Who is? Consider it a lesson learned, then forget it and move on with your life in a positive constructive manner.

To help solve a difficult problem or to cut down on worrying about making a decision, analyze the situation, determine what must be done and carry it out.

Make a list composed of the following:

Get all the facts.

Describe the problem in detail.

List all the possible solutions.

List the advantages and disadvantages of each.

Detail what you will do.

Follow through. Now that you have detailed the planning and have some idea how things will go, relax and allow yourself to do what comes natural to you. Keep in mind that the aim is not necessarily perfection, but effectiveness. You can also refer to your written plan if you begin to feel twinges of doubt. (I would suggest you keep your written plan handy and add some affirmations for additional encouragement.)

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Have you ever been to a function in a room full of strangers and found yourself at a loss for words? There was a time in my life where being in a room full of strangers would cause me great anxiety. My palms would sweat as I frantically debated with myself over what to say and how to introduce myself. The art of introducing yourself to others and creating small talk may come natural for some, but there are plenty of people like me who confess to feeling shy, embarrassed, self-conscious or simply don’t know where to start when it comes to making connections and building relationships.

There are four levels of communication: Small talk, fact disclosure, sharing viewpoints and opinions and sharing personal feelings. Different levels of communication are used based on the nature of the relationship or level of familiarity between those involved in the communication.

Because we are in a room full of strangers, the level of familiarity is non-existent and we must start with the first level of communication- which is small talk.

• Small Talk

In new relationships or acquaintances, the safest place to start is to talk about surface issues. For instance, make a comment about the weather, current events, or the surroundings you are in. Small talk is used to “size up” the other person to determine the comfort zone between the two of you. There is no need to disclose any personal information with the other person at this stage, as this initial interaction assists you to determine how “safe” they are on your first meeting.

If you are comfortable with each other at the surface level of small talk, you can then proceed to the next level of communication: fact disclosure.

• Fact Disclosure

Fact disclosure is slightly deeper than small talk in that you disclose facts about yourself without triggering topics of emotional interest.

The purpose of fact disclosure is to find out if you have something in common. You can use these common areas to build a friendship. You may want to talk about your career, occupation, hobbies, or where you live.

Avoid topics like marriage, divorce, politics, sex, and religion in this second level of communication.  If you find a topic of mutual interest, you may want to progress to the next level of communication: sharing viewpoints and opinions.

-Sharing Viewpoints and Opinions

Once you have established that the other person is “safe” through small talk, and have found areas of common interest, you can build rapport by sharing your opinions and viewpoints.

By sharing your viewpoints and opinions you allow yourself to become vulnerable to the scrutiny and objections of the other person. Enter this level of communication once you are comfortable that you both share positive feelings through the first two levels.

Be prepared to listen to the opinions of your new friend. This will enable your friendship to survive.

Make sure you don’t use your opinions as a form of “character assassination” of other people. You may be thought of as a negative person and this may cause your new friend to distance himself/herself from you.

The fourth level of communication is sharing personal feelings. Solid friendships over time usually enter this fourth level of communication.

• Sharing Personal Feelings

After building upon trust, finding things in common and listening to the viewpoints and opinions of others, you may be able to share your personal feelings. This is when an acquaintance becomes a genuine friend.

Things of deep value to you can be shared without feeling threatened. You listen closely to each other without the need to “solve” your friend’s problem. You are happy to reflect their feelings back to them – forming a bond of empathy and compassion between the two of you.

At this level of communication, it is important that you provide a little distance between yourself and your friend. Relationships (both platonic and romantic) are more likely to flourish if both parties have space, free expression, and individuality. If the distinction between yourself and your friend becomes unrecognizable, it is possible for your relationship to go sour. If you know how to handle your own feelings, attitudes and behaviors while maintaining your friendship at this level, you will build a successful friendship that can last a lifetime.

And it all starts with communication.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing… https://glow-with-mimi.square.site

Ways to Renew Your Glow

Hello Beautiful Soul!

Healthy self-esteem is necessary to have in order to achieve high levels of success. For those who have experienced certain trauma or abuse, healthy self- esteem may seem like an uphill battle. I have found that my experience with narcissistic abuse was extremely damaging to my self-esteem. For quite some time it was an arduous battle. But you can win the battle over low self-esteem with these 4 simple steps…

1. Affirmations

Affirmations are simply positive things that you say out loud to yourself every day. This can be difficult at times because you may not actually believe what you are saying. But if you stick to it, you will begin to believe the positive things about yourself-what’s actually true- just as you believed the negative things that were said about you.

The most important thing about self-esteem is this: Increased self esteem has to start with you. Other people can only affect your self-esteem if you believe what they are telling you. Affirmations are a good way to shift your thoughts and reinforce traits and behaviors that you desire. If you are shy and intimidated by people, you can use an affirmation such as this: I am self-assured and confident when interacting with people.

Repeat this to yourself out loud at least 10 times before you leave your room. When you say this, don’t just mumble it either, say it as many times as necessary until you say it with passion and conviction.

2. Read to grow

Again, increased self-esteem starts with you. Read something every day for at least 30 minutes that will help you increase your self-esteem. This can be an article, a book, or even an audio series. The more you learn the more you will grow. The more you grow, the more your self-esteem will improve. Personal development e-books are available on my website and are very inexpensive. Be on the lookout for new material, as I will be adding some soon.

3. Take action everyday

Do something every day, starting with something small, that directly deals with your low self esteem. For instance, if you can’t talk with people because you feel insecure or awkward, just start off by saying ‘Hi’. As you get more comfortable with this, then start to make small talk. You will begin to feel more and more confident until you have overcome low self-esteem in that area. Remember-consistency builds confidence and confidence can also build your self-esteem.

4. Stop the negative thoughts

Negative thoughts are like landmines. As soon as you step out to face your fear, a negative thought comes and tells you that you can’t do it and BOOM; you believe it and lose that round. Instead, diffuse negative thoughts before they have a chance to do damage.

The four steps listed above will help you increase your self esteem and become the person you really want to be. Just remember to be gentle and patient with yourself. You are not going to change overnight, but as long as you are progressing, you are winning the war.

If you’ve experienced a toxic or narcissistic relationship and need a coach to help you rebuild and recover, feel free to schedule a free Discovery Glow call with me to see if my coaching program is a good fit for you.

A Couple of Tips to Stop Negative Thoughts

Rewrite your Story: Change the narrative by creating a positive thought for each negative thought that you have. This method is very effective! When I find myself thinking negative thoughts, I cut them off and ask myself ‘why?’

The Rubberband Method: *Try at your own risk*-   Put a rubber band around your wrist. Every time a thought comes into your head that tells you that you can’t, you will never succeed, you are a loser, or anything negative, SNAP the rubber band on your wrist.

I do hope that these tips have been useful to you. Feel free to share your thoughts and tips as well 😊

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing… http://www.glowwithmimi.com

4 Sure Confidence Boosting Tips

Hello Beautiful Soul!

It is often said that the most important accessory a person can wear is confidence. Lack of confidence and low self- esteem can affect nearly all areas of your life. It can affect who you date, where you work, and what risks you take in life. Confidence issues can be brought about for many different reasons and over time they become so commonplace that we just expect them to happen. If you are dealing with confidence issues now, you will understand just how it can affect your life and sometimes even stop you from doing things that you really want to. Some people allow it, so it affects them in getting a promotion or meeting new people. I have put together a list of confidence building tips to share with my clients. Here are a few of those tips below:

1. Surround yourself with positivity- Positive, enthusiastic, and passionate people are contagious. Surround yourself with them and allow their confidence to brush off on you. By being around positive people we will learn how they confidently deal with things in their life that would throw us off course.

2. Glow up- This is a fantastic tip that will leave you feeling great. For those of you who aren’t aware, a glow up is a physical change that causes you to feel more attractive such as new clothes, a new hairstyle, etc. When you get your glow up, your confidence should raise to meet your new outer image. Allow the new and more confident you to be born!

3. Watch what you say to yourself- We all talk to ourselves as we think about things. We say things like, ‘Oh I can’t afford that!’ This type of inner talk can be quite negative as it closes our mind to finding a solution. Instead saying something like, ‘How could I afford that’, allows you to use your brain for thinking and ultimately finding a solution.

4. Make a change -switch careers, relocate, or make new friends. If you find that an element of your life is causing you to lack confidence – change it! Remember though that you set the limit on what is impossible, so open up your mind and consciously decide what you can and can’t do rather than just relying on your emotions to make these decisions for you.

I hope that you put this small collection of tips to good use and get the confidence that you deserve and desire. I wish you the very best of luck and success, Boo. You are more than worthy of it.

If you are having some trouble rebuilding your confidence after a toxic or narcissistic relationship and need coaching, go ahead and schedule a free Discovery Glow call with me to see if we are a good fit to glow together. I look forward to connecting with you! https://glow-with-mimi.square.site

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Make the Transformation!

Hello Beautiful Soul!

Have you ever felt like life was testing every single bit of your strength? Has one ‘bad day’ seemed to snowball into a terrible week, a miserable month, and so on? If you do feel that way, please know that you’re not alone. Although some obstacles in life are impossible to avoid and others are difficult to navigate, I’ve learned that with some work and a mindset adjustment we can turn our obstacles into opportunities.

Q: What happens when we focus on the negative side of life instead of the positive?

A: We miss out on seeing the breadth of opportunities that would otherwise enable us to develop and strengthen our lives.

The result? We end up journeying on a downward spiral, feeling that no matter what we do, we simply won’t win. The solution? To start seeing everything in our life as an opportunity for growth; every encounter, every incident, and even every challenge.

If you’re:

– Constantly Focusing On The Negative Side Of Life

– Feeling The World’s Against You

– Fed Up With This Constant Battle

Understand that we all feel that way sometimes and it’s completely normal. You don’t have to settle for a life you don’t want to live. Begin making the transformation today by making small adjustments in your mindset and routine. It’s only impossible if you don’t try.

What’s In It For You?

– Discover Everything In Your Life Is An Opportunity For Growth

– Learn How Challenges Are The Proving Ground For Future Success

– Realize Every Encounter You Have Has Something From Which You Can Learn

By adopting the habit of seeing only the negative side of life, we risk standing still in our lives, or even going backwards. We also find ourselves becoming increasingly resistant to change. In a strange way, this leads us toward attracting more of the same just so we can feed our ego with another dose of “I knew it wouldn’t work,” or “I told you the world’s against me,” or “What else can go wrong?” In short, our life becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of condemnation. The way to defeat this is to seek out the opportunities and lessons in each challenge, and to act on them accordingly.

And how do we do this? Simple – we ask ourselves questions like, “What can I learn from this situation?” “What will I achieve by overcoming this?” and “What do I need to do differently next time?” By adopting this more positive outlook, we naturally seek ways to learn and move forward. In turn, we discover how the world isn’t against us; it’s merely the way we perceive it. Result – we’re the ones back in the driving seat, and subsequently we’re the ones determining to take out the positives and use them constructively in our lives.

Challenge! Take a look back at some recent encounters, incidents and obstacles that you chose not to see as opportunities. What could you have learned on each occasion? What opportunities were there for the taking? What will you do differently next time?

Call to Action! For the next thirty days, put those new opportunities into action. Apply this new “opportunistic” mindset to other areas of your life too. Over time, this will become second nature, and you’ll start seeking opportunities in everything you do. If things don’t work out at first, do not be disheartened. Instead, review what you’ve learned and try again. Remember that this is a golden opportunity to learn, to grow, and to elevate to levels you’ve never been.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

You can schedule your free Discovery Glow call to see if we are fit to glow together! https://glow-with-mimi.square.site

Talk to You soon!

Stress Busting Tips with Mimi

Hello Beautiful Souls!

No matter who you are or where you come from, one thing is likely to be true- you have everyday stress. And it needs to be managed. Where does this stress come from? Oftentimes stress will manifest when we carry over yesterday’s concerns into our present-day experience. An accumulation of various stressors will almost always end up in a high stress level. Therefore, we must be able to “dump” all of our concerns from the previous day or days and concentrate wholly on our today.

So here are 3 stress busting tips

– Stress Busting Tip #1

Resolve right now to release every thought from yesterday and be only mindful of the now…. this thought only…this breath…this moment. Take in three very deep breaths and slowly release each one.

At the same time feel each and every concern, each and every problem, and each and every unresolved moment, begin to dissolve. You can deal with them at a later time. For now, you are only to be in this very moment.

Now go to your inner quiet place. Go deep inside to a place where you feel that you are at peace and then just relax and breathe in deeply and enjoy the feeling of being at one and at peace within yourself.

Use this special time and place to be calm. Free your mind and body of all worry, all regret, all disappointment, all anger and grief.

– Stress Busting Tip #2

Next, think of one particular act, such as rocking your baby, taking a quick stroll, raking the leaves, and do that one simple thing. All the while, your mind is quiet and calm and you are in your own special place within.

Practice this act of quiet and calm each day and you will see that you will accomplish so much more. At the first sign of being stressed, go back to this mindful, quiet place and start all over again until you have reached your inner place of calm.

– Stress Busting Tip #3

The very best thing that you can do for yourself is to eat, drink and rest – to your health!

Stress is easily brought on by not eating and drinking properly. When you don’t get the number of hours of sleep that you need each night, you are only setting yourself up for additional stress.

Limit the amount of salt, sugar, caffeine and alcohol in your diet. Drink plenty of clean, pure water each day and do at least moderate exercise each day. This will breathe new life into your skin, hair and will nourish all of your vital organs.

Take time to breathe properly! Take deep belly breathes to send pure oxygen to all of your body. Laugh and then laugh some more. It is food for the soul! Spend time doing the things that please you most. Engage in healthy and fulfilling relationships and work on problems that would erode the closeness that you have with someone special.

When we are content and living a balanced life everyday stresses seem to pale in comparison. We are better equipped to deal with the unexpected.

You can take control today! Isolate only one particular stressor in your life and then work on it until you regain control. At the very least, have some new hope!

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing..

Hello Beautiful Souls!

A common mistake that many of us make when we have a new idea or goal that we want to achieve is we ruin it before it even has the chance to come into fruition. Many do not get past this stage of wanting to, they go over every detail with a fine toothed comb and wait until everything is perfect before they take action.

I have heard people say that they’ll start when they have more money, time, learn more, practice more, when the kids are older, so on and so forth. They’re waiting for the perfect time to start their new endeavor. The challenge with this is there is no perfect time. The best time to get started is now. Yes, you may need to be selective at first with who you talk to as there are negative people out there who may try to stop you or shut you down. Yet, I have found that most people shut themselves down by their fears and need to have everything just so.

I was talking to this lady who wanted to go to a job interview. She had spoken to her sister about the interview. Her sister said, “make sure you do the interview perfectly, because in this city people know each other and if you blow it, you can kiss your career goodbye”.

Wow. No pressure, right? Going into an interview with that in your mind is the perfect way to blow it. Under those conditions, you’d probably be terrified, which can cause the mistakes you are trying to prevent. I have heard things like this before, yet most people are not sitting there just waiting to crush other people who come in. I have found that most are kind, generous and helpful. What you need is encouragement and just to do your best. Also remember that the world does not end with a bad interview.

Reality is much brighter when you look at the most successful people out there. They repeatedly said that they failed their way to the top, that they learned by their mistakes and went on. There are millionaires that lost everything, brushed themselves off and then created more millions. They talked to people and connected with them. You can’t succeed by being a hermit.

We do not have knowledge of all things. We learn from experience and feel things out. We are human beings that learn by what we do. We discover by how we interact. We learn when we communicate our thoughts and ideas. Are there naysayers out there? Sure there are- disregard them. Find the people who are looking forward to hearing from you and wish to encourage you. You will always learn more and communicate more with positive and encouraging people.

I remember this one day I was sitting in the car, waiting for my partner at the time while he ran into the store. The following just flowed out onto the paper.

ABOUT PERFECTION

It is in the trying and being that makes us human. It is the journey not the end that tells us who we are and what we are made of. Perfection is not a means, it leaves no room for variation, creativity and understanding of the process. It is through the trial and error that we gain knowledge and wisdom. We remember and learn more through our mistakes than by what we do perfectly. For if everything were perfect, done perfect, there would be no journey, no life, no adventure,…only an end.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls..keep Glowing…

What did you just say? ‘I don’t have time to relax ‘– really? Do you have time not to?

Hello Beautiful Soul!

I know that productivity is important, but I must say that relaxing is super important as well. Being able to relax is important to achieving optimal performance and health. You name it; being relaxed will increase your productivity in it. If you’re not relaxed, everything you do will be a struggle. Relaxation provides mind-body integration necessary for peak performance.

It is important to relax to get your mind clear and your body tension free; to regain focus and to cool down and to help return to a balanced physical state. Relaxation is vital for a healthy mind and is required to maintain motivation and interest in our lives and careers. Not being able to relax and unwind can be damaging to your health. Even when there are huge demands on your life, you may have a large family, an important career, and a home amongst your other weekly commitments – it is still necessary to find your own time and space to relax.

It is very important that throughout the day we find time to relax. Twenty minutes, two or three times a day, is preferred. If you can’t manage twenty minutes, it’s important to realize that whatever amount of time you do manage to get to relax will be beneficial to your mind and body, even if not noticeably so.

When time is short there are a number of things you can do: reading, writing, daydreaming or just sitting quietly. Quite often whatever you do to relax will be personal and work for you, so you need to find what works best.

As a Life Coach I have worked with numerous people with issues relating to relaxation and stress etc. It’s interesting that initially many find it difficult to slow down and see the benefits of taking more time out. However, after a few weeks and a couple of coaching sessions focused on this area, and a bit of commitment on their part, most made changes in their lives and were able to speak with me about the benefits that clarity and relaxation had had on their lives.

Some of the common benefits of relaxation are:

• It improves your ability to concentrate. It will help you in your ability to tune out distractions and give you better sensory awareness.

• It improves body awareness; you need to know when you are under or over doing it.

• It speeds up healing time following an injury and fatigue, the body needs to recover fully if it’s going to perform at an optimal level in the near future.

• Learning is enhanced, it is much easier to introduce new thoughts and ideas when your mind is clear and you are relaxed. Skills are best learned when you are in a relaxed state and there is an absence of tension.

• It helps you sleep better

• You become more efficient

• It puts your focus back on the present and gives you a sense of control

• It increases energy

If you don’t take the time to unwind and relax regularly, you might be putting not only your own health and well-being at risk but also that of others as well.

In relation to your responsibility to the health and safety of others; we only have to think of driving a car, or operating machinery, and how our ability to do these tasks diminishes when we are tense, tired and stressed. So in fact our responsibility to relax is not just for our own sake but also for that of others.

With regards to our own health and emotional well-being, if we don’t make time to relax regularly, we are putting our health and mental health at risk of failure. Some of the effects of lack of relaxation are below:

• Headaches- common ones being tension headaches and migraines. Controlling tension and relaxing can help migraines. Tension headaches are susceptible by definition to treatment by relaxation.

• Chronic fatigue, your body is in a total state of fatigue. You suffer from total lack of energy and motivation all of the time.

• Cardiovascular disorders, high blood pressure and heart disease, heart attack.

• Gastrointestinal problems, diarrhoea, constipation and stomach ulcers as well as indigestion and heartburn.

• Poor immune system, becoming susceptible to illness

Early warning signs that we need to have a break and relax are:

• Yawning/sighing

• Lack of concentration

• Feeling the urge to stretch and move about

• General drop in performance

• Feelings of stress and irritability

• Performing uncommon errors

• Tiredness

If we are aware of the signs and take notice of them and take a break etc, you could avoid a lot of stress and fatigue, you will be more rational and focused, and better equipped to carry on, and be far healthier.

Spending a lifetime of ignoring the signs could impact heavily, not only on your health, well-being and happiness but also those around you. Relationships could suffer as well as your career. On a personal note, the consequences of not taking time to relax over a lifetime could mean you pay the ultimate price.

You say you don’t have time to relax. I say you don’t have time not to. You are your own best resource; you need to take time to nurture and look after yourself.

I spoke my piece for the week. So, until next time beautiful souls keep Glowing…

Free Consultations are available to see if you’re a good fit for the Inner Glow or Inner Glow Mini Coaching programs.

Hello Beautiful Souls!

As some of you may already know, I was in a narcissistic marriage for nearly five years. It was this toxic marriage that led me onto the path of life coaching, I began to do research as a form of healing and self-development. I wasn’t familiar with narcissism and all of it’s intricacies. Before this marriage I didn’t quite understand why women stayed in toxic relationships. I was aware of the prospect of fear, and that some women stay in an effort to keep their families together for the children (which I may address in a later blog) but my personal experience helped me to understand that it’s so much more complicated than meets the eye. Generally, divorces and break-ups are painful. With the added elements of manipulation and emotional abuse, leaving a narcissist can cause a cycle of emotions that I hadn’t previously considered.

Similarly to losing a loved one, there are stages of grief and loss after narcissistic abuse. I felt very conflicted, confused, and was in denial about some of my feelings; which is actually the first stage.

Denial

As I continued reading and learning about the reality of the marriage I was in, I shook my head in disbelief. I kept telling myself that it wasn’t that bad. That yes, I was unhappy, but calling it ‘abuse’ was extreme. It was my denial that caused me to downplay what I was experiencing and make excuses for his passive-aggressive energy, the occasional name calling, the random arguments behind the smallest things. I would say, ‘well, he had a rough day at work’ or ‘he’s got a lot on his plate’. The more excuses I made for his behavior, the more his behavior began to escalate. His escalation completely shattered my denial. I could see very clearly that our marriage was not only over, but I would never want to share time or space with this man on any capacity.

Suggestion: While going through the stage of denial connect with or find a support system. It would be best if they have some knowledge or understanding of narcissistic abuse. Also therapeutic execises and journaling are very helpful. When journaling be authentic and express your true feelings. Create a written account of the toxic behaviors and refer to them when you start to feel denial setting in again.

The love bombing had lost its charm and all I could see was the truth. This led me to the second stage-

Anger

I was angry at him for the way he treated me. I was angry that I’d shared my vulnerabilities with him and my hopes. I was angry that I loved him the best way that I knew how and nothing was good enough. I was angry at him for lying to me, not valuing me, for all the manipulation. I was angry with him, but I was most angry with myself. I was angry at myself for allowing him to treat me that way.

Suggestion: While dealing with feelings of anger, practice self-compassion and enjoy physical activities to release pent up anger.

I began to focus on personal development and self-reflection to process my anger. I personally did not experience stage number three, which is:

Bargaining

The bargaining stage of the grief/ loss cycle is the point in which you aim to reconcile or seek resolution with the narcissistic or abusive ex. You have those nagging thoughts or doubts such as, ‘could I have done something differently?’ Maybe you sit and reflect on the good times and think to yourself that maybe he/she can change.

The fact of the matter is that change is not likely. The reality is that you’re likely to experience much more mental and emotional damage trying to wait things out and hope for change. Ponder this- if you were getting what you wanted with little to no accountability and minimal effort required, would you change your behavior?  

It’s best in this situation to cut ties and communication as much as possible and move forward in your healing process.

Suggestion: if you feel the desire to bargain, remind yourself of the patterns and cycles of abuse, focus on your growth and healing, and engage in self-reflection.

Depression

Stage number four of grief and loss after narcissistic abuse is depression. Many women and men experience depression after narcissistic or emotional abuse, it’s completely normal. In many narcissistic relationships, the victims experience profound feelings of loss.

Loss of idealized image of narcissist. This person poses as your dream come true and then you find out that ‘your soulmate’ isn’t real.

Loss of time and energy wasted. Planning a life with a person, loving them, learning their likes and dislikes, various sacrifices and compromises made for a person who was just using you to supply them with love, affection, and validation without any reciprocity.

Loss of sense of self. This can be especially true for empaths and people pleasers. Pouring yourself into a person too much can cause self-neglect. When you lose your sense of self it can interfere cognitively as well as emotionally.

Depression can cause stress, anxiety, and brain fog as well as a feeling of ‘being stuck’ or ‘feeling lost’.

It’s really important to acknowledge your feelings and seek help if needed.

Suggestion: It’s vital to seek support and check in with your feelings often. Allow yourself to grieve. Talk to a therapist, counselor or other trusted person. Enjoy self-care activities and join support groups and communities as well. The healing journey is tough, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Acceptance

This is the fifth and final stage in the grief and loss cycle and it is by far the best. Acceptance is when you acknowledge reality and commit to growth.

This stage has been liberating for me because I’ve taken responsibility for my actions and my healing and make daily steps toward improvement. I am on a journey of self-discovery, self-development and self-love.

Suggestion: When in the stage of acceptance, continue to heal and self-develop. Embrace self-compassion as well as compassion towards others. Try personal growth activities, be gentle with yourself and acknowledge the progress you’ve made.

Remember that the key is to heal adequately so that the victim does not become the villain.

Until next time, beautiful souls…keep Glowing.

Hello Beautiful Souls!

The pursuit of happiness is one of the basic elements of human existence. We want to be happy. So why are so many people unhappy then? Most likely people are not happy because they are missing one of the six keys to happiness.

The most important key to your personal happiness is determining that you will be happy. For many people, their personal happiness is not a priority in their life. Too often, we put the happiness of others before our own. While this may please our children, spouse, or boss, this is not the path to happiness. This doesn’t mean you should make yourself happy at the expense of others, but you must remember that the reverse should also not be true — your happiness should not be sacrificed to make others happy.

Once you have determined to make your pursuit of happiness a priority you need to determine just what it is that makes you happy. Spend some time reviewing the happy times in your life. Think about memories that make you smile or activities that make you joyful. Can you find a common element or theme? Then that is one of the keys to finding true happiness for you.

Now that you have identified what makes you happy you need to engage in that activity. Perhaps you need a creative outlet? Join a writing group, take an art class, or learn an instrument. Do you need physical activity? Then find a way to get back into a sport you love or try a different sport. Just find a way to reconnect with this key element.

 For most of us, special people in our lives can provide another element of happiness. Connection to others makes the human experience more joyful. Perhaps you have lost touch with someone important and can reach out to them to reconnect. Or maybe you just need to plan some special time with family. It is important to our own pursuit of happiness to stay connected with those we love.

Another essential to finding true happiness is to give of ourselves as well. Helping others in both small and large ways can help make you happier and more content. You might even be able to find a way to combine giving and engaging in an activity that makes you happy. For example, if you love to make people laugh you could organize a community talent show as a fundraiser for a local charity.

Finally, make a list of all the aspects of your life that do make you happy. So many of us get down because we dwell on the negative, but usually there is something about your life that makes you happy. Make a list of these items so you can have a quick mood enhancer when you feel down.

The pursuit of happiness does not have to be challenging or arduous. Finding true happiness can be as simply as determining, identifying, engaging, connecting, giving and reminding yourself of the 6 keys to personal happiness.

If you’ve been through some emotional challenges and are having difficulties finding your happiness again, try journaling to sort through your thoughts or reach out to a therapist or other trusted counselor or coach to help you find clarity. Free consultations are available to see if we’d be a good fit to work together as well.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…