The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse- and How to Reclaim Yourself

Hey Boo.

Narcissistic abuse can be a really tricky thing because it doesn’t always look like abuse at first. In fact, the beginning often looks like something directly out of a rom-com or fairy tale. It feels electric. Like absolute magic.

But over time, that magic dissipates into a poisonous puff of confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion.

If you’ve experienced this, let me very clear about something, Boo:

You are not crazy.

You are not too sensitive.

You are not the problem.

You were responding to manipulation that was designed to make you question yourself. Let’s walk through the stages- so you can recognize, process, and begin to heal.

Stage 1: Idealization (Love Bombing)

“This feels like everything I’ve ever wanted…”

In this stage you are put on a pedestal, showered with attention, affection, and validation. This person makes you feel deeply seen and chosen. They may marvel about how you two ‘get each other’ and say they’ve ‘never felt this way before.’ It feels intense, fast, and almost too good to be true.

What’s really happening is they’re mirroring you and flooding you with dopamine so that they can create deep emotional dependency and attachment quickly. You may later find yourself in a state of confusion about how something so perfect could change just like that.

Journaling Prompts

When did things start to feel “too good to be true”?

Were there any subtle red flags I ignored? Why?

What did I want to believe in that moment?

Affirmations

I honor the version of me that wanted love and connection.

I release shame for trusting someone.

Wanting love does not make me naïve- it makes me human.

Stage 2: Devaluation

“What just happened? Am I crazy?”

This stage is subtle at first, but more and more you’ll notice mixed signals, criticism or insults disguised as “jokes”, emotional withdrawal, and inconsistency. This drastic change in your partner may cause you to over-analyze every aspect of the relationship, try harder to fix things, or even blame yourself for what’s happening. The truth is, there’s nothing you can do to fix this because this was intentionally done to destabilize your sense of self and control. This stage is about breaking you down, making you doubt yourself and causing you to question your own reality so that you’re confused, defensive, and easy to manipulate.

Journaling Prompts

When did I start feeling like I wasn’t enough?

What behaviors made me question myself?

How did I change to keep the peace?

Affirmations

I am not too much and I never was.

I do not need to earn love through exhaustion.

My needs and feelings are valid.

Stage 3: Discard

“How did this end so coldly?”

This stage can feel abrupt or cruel. The discard stage is often characterized by a sudden break-up or withdrawal, replacement with someone else, and emotional detachment as if you never mattered. It is profoundly painful as you may be experiencing shock, abandonment, rejection, and deep confusion along with your heartbreak. As you stand in the wreckage they’ve left behind, they’re avoiding accountability and starting over with new supply.

Journaling Prompts

What hurt me the most about the way things ended?

What did I deserve that I didn’t receive?

What am I grieving-truly?

Affirmations

Their inability to love me is not a reflection of my worth.

I deserved clarity, honesty, and care.

I am allowed to grieve what I thought this was.

Stage 4: Hoovering (Optional Return)

“Maybe this time will be different.”

Sometimes they come back. And when they do, they offer watered-down apologies without real change and promises to do better that are often empty or short-lived. Nostalgia is another tactic employed to pull on you emotionally and have you reminiscing about the good times. The reality, however, is that nothing has changed at all. They are just trying to regain control over you and access to you.

It’s very important not to succumb to hoovering. In many cases the narcissistic cycle intensifies and can even become dangerous.

Journaling Prompts

What patterns have I seen before?

What would I tell a friend in my position?

What boundaries do I need to put in place in order to feel safe?

Affirmations

I trust what I’ve learned.

I choose peace over familiar chaos.

I do not need closure from someone who created confusion.

Stage 5: Healing & Reclamation (Your Glow-Up Stage)

“I am coming back to myself.”

This is where everything begins to shift. You start trusting yourself again, you reconnect with your voice, your needs, and your truth. You see clearly again- without shame and self-blame.

This is your power returning.

Journaling Prompts

Who am I becoming after this experience?

What boundaries will I carry forward?

What does safe, healthy love look like to me now?

Affirmations

I am rebuilding myself with truth and compassion.

I trust myself more deeply now.

I am worthy of safe, consistent, real love.

Healing from narcissistic abuse isn’t about “getting over it.”

It’s about reconnecting with yourself, releasing self-blame, reclaiming your power, and most importantly…

Remembering who you were before you started questioning your worth.

Until next time Boo, keep glowing…

Overthinking, Hypervigilance, and Mental Looping in Relationships

Hey Boo!

If you ever find yourself stuck overthinking, feeling on edge in your relationships, or going around and around in your thoughts, you’re definitely not alone. These habits don’t just pop up for no reason—they’re often how our bodies and minds try to protect us from getting hurt. When we learn about how these patterns are tied to our nervous system, it gets a bit easier to be kind to ourselves and maybe even change things for the better.

Overthinking: Trying to Stay Safe

A lot of the time, overthinking is your mind’s way of trying to keep you safe. When you’re unsure or feeling uneasy with someone, (or if you’ve experienced trauma in previous relationships) your brain might start running through every possible outcome or worry—just in case. It can feel tiring, but deep down, your brain’s just trying to help you avoid hurt or disappointment.

For many folks, this habit started because, somewhere along the line, being alert and planning ahead became an important part of survival. Thinking through every worst-case scenario can sometimes feel like the only way to avoid pain. But in safe or loving relationships, all this overthinking puts strain on the relationship and makes it harder to feel close and relaxed with your partner.

Hypervigilance in Relationships

Hypervigilance is basically being extra alert for anything that might go wrong—always watching for signs that something’s off, that someone might leave or let you down. If you’re always on edge, it’s tough to just let yourself trust and enjoy the moment.

This constant state of “watchfulness” comes from our bodies being stuck in fight-or-flight mode. If you’ve been through tough or unpredictable relationships before, your nervous system might still be on high alert, even when there’s no real danger. That makes letting your guard down and being vulnerable really hard.

Mental Looping: Your Body’s Stress Alarm

Mental looping means your mind keeps replaying things—like conversations, worries about the future, or doubts about what you said. These cycles are closely connected to how our bodies react to stress.

When something feels threatening (even if it’s just a tiny worry), our bodies get flooded with stress hormones. It’s like your nervous system sounds an alarm and suddenly your thoughts have hit the ground running. This was meant to keep us alert and ready, but instead, it traps us in anxious thoughts and “what ifs.”

How to Break the Cycle: Calming Your Nervous System

The good news? Overthinking, hypervigilance, and mental looping aren’t your fault—they’re just ways your mind and body try to help. There are gentle ways to calm your nervous system and take care of yourself:

Mindfulness: Focusing on the here-and-now can help you break out of thought spirals and notice what you’re really feeling.
Grounding Techniques: Simple things like deep breathing, noticing your senses, or relaxing your muscles can help signal to your body that you’re safe.
Therapeutic Support: A good therapist can help you understand where these patterns come from and support you in building healthier ways to connect.

If you find yourself overthinking, hypervigilant, or stuck in mental loops, know that your nervous system is just trying to look out for you. With a little understanding and some gentle practices, you can feel safer in your relationships—with others and with yourself—and start to feel a lot more at ease.

If you aren’t already, follow me on Instagram @mimi.sums or on facebook Mimi Sums for affirmations, journaling prompts, and mindfulness content.

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

You’re Not Broken. You’re in Survival Mode.

Hey Boo!

I just want you to know-

You’re not dramatic. You’re not “too much.” You’re not overreacting.

You’re in survival mode. And survival mode is hectic and loud.

It scans for danger, anticipates rejection, and prepares for disappointment before it happens. Survival mode can cause you to replay conversations over and over in your head and read between lines that may not even exist.

But it’s not because you’re messed up or broken. It’s because you experienced a shock to your nervous system and you’ve had to adapt. At some point in your life, being hyper-aware kept you safe. Overthinking protected you from danger and potential threats. Bracing for impact softened the blow and expecting less kept you from being disappointed when the person inevitably failed you. Your past experiences sent this message to your nervous system: “If I stay prepared, I stay protected.”

That makes complete sense- creating a survival strategy to be okay and minimize the risk of further danger. But the important thing to remember about survival strategies is that they don’t automatically turn off once the danger is gone. Your body doesn’t always know that you’re safe now, your mind doesn’t realize you’re no longer in that same toxic environment, and so it runs those old programs in new situations.

Running Old Programs in New Situations May Look Like:

Questioning Your Worth

Feeling Guilty For Resting

Feeling Like You Aren’t Doing Enough

Putting Too Much Pressure on Yourself

Wondering Why You Weren’t Chosen

Bracing in Relationships That Haven’t Actually Harmed You

It feels real because your body believes it is. But survival mode and present reality are not always the same thing.

And this is where self-trust begins. Don’t shame yourself for overthinking, there’s no need to force or feign positivity, and you don’t have to pretend not to be triggered when you are.

Just pause and gently ask yourself:

“Is this current, or is this familiar?”

Familiar feels urgent and is rooted in anxiety. Current is grounded in fact.

When you begin to notice the difference, you stop fighting yourself. You stop labeling yourself as ‘too sensitive’ or ‘too much’. You begin trusting your intuition and yourself and you realize that you’re not broken. You’re healing and coming back together just fine. You just needed to rebuild your self-trust.

Self-trust is built in small increments.

When you choose not to spiral or “crash out”

When you regulate instead of react

When you allow calm without searching for what’s wrong

When you rest without guilt

-And no, it’s not laziness. It’s nervous system healing.

The goal isn’t to become someone who never feels fear. The goal is to become someone who can feel fear and still choose from a place of clarity. From steadiness. From self-trust.

You don’t need to fix yourself. You need safety.

And safety begins inside.

I’m Back with Truth

I paused-

I didn’t disappear.

I didn’t lose momentum.

I didn’t fall behind.

I paused because I was listening.

Hey Boo!

The recent season that I experienced required more of me than I felt I was prepared for. It was a season where my body asked for gentleness, where my nervous system needed safety more than strategy, and my inner world mattered more than accomplishments and output. So, I did what I’d advise a friend or a client to do- I chose myself. Quietly, consistently. Without explaining.

During that time, I started sharing a series on my platform- Something For Me.

Pilates. Coloring. Slowing down. Ordinary acts of care that didn’t need to be dressed up or explained. They were small, grounding choices that helped me come back to myself- and back into truth.

And that truth is this:

Healing doesn’t mean stopping your life. It just changes how you move through it.

I used to believe that growth required pressure-that I needed to push, fix, or harden myself to move forward. But what I learned in the quiet is that self-compassion isn’t indulgence. It’s responsibility. It is mandated. It’s what allows growth to last.

This new season, this new chapter in my life isn’t about proving anything to anyone. It’s about trusting myself.

Trusting my pace. Trusting my intuition in places where I used to doubt it or ignore it. Trusting that softness can be strong, boundaries can be loving, and progress doesn’t have to cost me my well-being. I’m moving forward now- but not by abandoning myself like I once did. I’m moving with myself. In complete love and full alignment.

Glow with Mimi has always been about coming home to who you are beneath the noise, the pressure, the expectations. This season just asked me to live that truth before teaching it again.

So, if you’re here- whether you’ve been resting, recalibrating, or quietly choosing yourself too- please know this:

You’re not behind Boo. You’re integrating while elevating. And you’re allowed to move forward gently and at your own pace.

I’m back with truth. And I’m letting it lead.

If this resonated with you, stay connected. This new chapter is rooted in self-trust, embodied care, and creating a life that feels safe to live wholly and completely.

We’re not rushing. We’re glowing- honestly and authentically.

Til next time Boo…keep Glowing.

When The Light Feels Far Away: What My Latest Battle With Depression Taught Me

Hey Boo.

There are seasons in life when the light feels unbearably far away. Not gone…just distant. And even though you know you’ve survived things before, there’s a particular kind of ache that comes with feeling stagnant, inadequate, or like life is moving without you.

Recently, I found myself back in that place.

Not the dramatic, cinematic kind of darkness.

The quiet kind.

The kind that creeps in slowly- a heaviness, a numbness, a persistent whisper that says, “You should be doing more by now.”

I tried to push through it like I usually do. I tried to “bounce back” to motivate myself, to force clarity. But depression doesn’t respond to pressure. It responds to honesty.

And when I finally got honest, I realized something:

I wasn’t broken – I was overwhelmed.

I wasn’t inadequate – I was depleted.

I wasn’t stagnant – I just needed stillness.

Sometimes your soul hits pause before your mind even understands why.

The Inadequacy Loop No One Talks About

When you’re struggling with depression, you slip into what I call the inadequacy loop:

“I should be further by now.”

“Everyone else is moving forward.”

“Why can’t I just get it together?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

You start to measure your worth by your productivity, your clarity, your consistency- all things that naturally dip when you’re healing.

But here’s the truth I had to relearn:

You are not meant to outperform your humanity.

Feeling low doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Slowing down doesn’t mean you’re falling behind. And needing rest doesn’t mean you’re weak- it means you’re alive.

The Moment I Realized I Was Coming Back Online

It didn’t happen with fireworks.

It didn’t happen in a big “I’m healed!” moment.

It happened the day I felt the tiniest spark of curiosity again. Not joy, not motivation, just curiosity. A small desire to try, to move, to breathe. To meet myself where I was instead of where I “should” be.

That’s when I remembered-

Healing is not a leap- it’s a series of returns. A return to your breath. A return to small routines. A return to giving yourself grace. A return to seeing yourself with softer eyes. Every tiny spark counts- even if no one else sees it.

What This Season Taught Me

Here is what I want you to know, especially if you’re in that quiet, dark place right now:

You are not inadequate- you are overwhelmed. Your mind is tired, not broken.
You are not stagnant- you are incubating. Some seasons look like nothing on the outside, but everything is shifting within.
You don’t have to “feel like yourself” to be deserving of care. You are worthy of gentleness even on your worst days.
This season is not the end of your story. It is a passage- a slow, tender one- but a passage nonetheless.

If You’re Here Too… You’re Not Alone

I know how heavy this feels. I know how personal it gets. And I know how easy it is to believe the lie that you’re behind or you’re not enough. But your glow isn’t gone, love. It’s resting. Recalibrating. Gathering itself for the next chapter.

And when the light feels far away, that’s when you learn to build your own- breath by breath, choice by choice by choice, thought by thought, day by day. You are allowed to heal at your pace. You’re allowed to start again gently. You’re allowed to take up space even in your lowest moments.

I’m right here with you.

And I promise – there is a version of you on the other side of this who is so glad you didn’t give up.

Until Next Time Boo…Keep Glowing.

How to Stop Seeking Validation and Start Valuing Yourself

Hey Boo!

There’s something quietly powerful about choosing yourself- not out of ego, but out of remembrance. For so long, many of us were taught to earn love by being agreeable, accommodating, or endlessly understanding. We learned to shrink to fit. But eventually, that constant bending leaves us disconnected from our own reflection.

Lately, as I prepare to open my heart again- to date, to love, to be seen- I’ve realized how essential it is to return to myself first. Not to prove that I’m healed, but to remember that my worth was never broken to begin with.

The Trap of Seeking Validation

Validation isn’t always obvious

Sometimes it’s the small things- checking your phone to see if they texted back, overexplaining to avoid being misunderstood, or agreeing when your heart quietly says no. It’s the part of us that asks, “Am I enough?” and waits for someone else to answer.

But the truth is, external validation is nothing more than a quick fix for the ego. It gives a brief rush of worthiness before it fades, leaving us hungry again. Real nourishment comes from within- from learning to validate your own emotions, choices, and needs before anyone else does.

Reclaiming Your Worth

When you start valuing yourself, the entire energy of your world shifts.

You speak differently.

You walk differently.

You choose differently.

You stop chasing closure and start protecting your peace. You stop performing for love and start standing in your truth. And the more you honor your worth, the more life- and love – rises to meet it.

Here’s what that looks like in practice:

Saying no without guilt.

Walking away from connections that require you to shrink.

Celebrating your progress even when no one else notices.

Taking time to rest, recharge, and realign before you re-engage.

Every act of self-respect reinforces your worth like a sacred affirmation.

Love, But From Wholeness

As I step back into dating, I’ve made a quiet promise to myself. I will no longer look for someone to make me feel chosen- I already am. I will not wait for validation- I radiate it from within. And I will remember that love is meant to add to my glow, not define it.

When you show up knowing your value, you magnetize people who see you clearly. You no longer chase energy- you attract your energetic match. You no longer beg to be understood- you speak your truth and trust it will land where it’s meant to.

A Gentle Reminder

You are not hard to love- you were just taught to love others more than yourself. You are not behind; you’re right on time for your own becoming. And you are not too much- you’re exactly enough for the version of love that’s ready for you now. So, before you reach for someone else’s approval, place your hand on your heart and whisper-

“I remember who I am. And that is enough.”

Want to go deeper? Each week I share exclusive journaling prompts with my subscribers- gentle guidance to help you put these insights into practice and reset your mindset in real time. Subscribe to the Inner Glow Blog and give yourself the gift of reflection, clarity, and calm.

Until next time Boo, keep Glowing…

Cultivating Positivity and Resilience in Challenging Times: How to Reset Your Mindset

Having trouble shaking those negative thoughts? This week was rough for me too.

Negativity is a powerful force. It creeps into our thoughts, colors our perceptions, and sometimes takes root, casting a shadow over even the brightest moments. We all experience periods when negative thinking becomes overwhelming—when setbacks, stress, or disappointments seem to pile up, making it difficult to see the good around us. But the human mind is remarkably adaptable. With intention, practice, and a bit of self-compassion, anyone can reset their mindset and reclaim their sense of hope and possibility.

This blog will walk you through practical strategies to break free from negativity, offering both immediate tools and long-term habits to nurture a more positive, resilient outlook.

Understanding the Power of Mindset

Our mindset is the lens through which we view the world and ourselves. When negativity takes hold, this lens distorts our reality, causing us to focus on what’s wrong rather than what’s possible. Recognizing that you have the power to shift this lens is the first step towards change.

It’s important to remember that resetting your mindset isn’t about ignoring difficulties or pretending everything is perfect. Rather, it’s about equipping yourself with tools to respond to life’s challenges with greater balance, clarity, and optimism.

Step 1: Awareness—Recognize Negative Thought Patterns

The journey to a more positive mindset begins with awareness. Often, negative thinking becomes habitual, running in the background of our minds. Start by tuning in:

Notice Your Self-Talk: Pay attention to the inner dialogue you have throughout the day. Are you criticizing yourself, expecting the worst, or focusing on failures?
Identify Triggers: Reflect on moments when negativity spikes. Is it in response to certain people, situations, or times of day?
Label Your Thoughts: When you detect negative thinking, gently label it. For example: “That’s a self-critical thought” or “That’s a catastrophic prediction.”

Awareness doesn’t mean judgment. Observe these patterns with curiosity, not blame.

Step 2: Pause and Breathe

When negativity feels overwhelming, pause. Take a few deep, intentional breaths. This simple act does more than calm your body—it creates a moment of space between you and your thoughts, offering a chance to respond rather than react.

Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four.
Hold for four counts.
Exhale gently through your mouth for a count of four.

Repeat this cycle several times. Notice how your body relaxes and your mind quiets, even if just slightly.

Step 3: Challenge and Reframe Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts often go unchallenged in our minds, gaining strength by repetition. To break their hold, question their accuracy:

Ask Yourself: “Is this thought absolutely true?”
Seek Evidence: What facts support or contradict this thought?
Consider Alternatives: What might you say to a friend in a similar situation?

Once you’ve examined your thoughts, try reframing them:

Instead of “I always mess up,” try “I’ve made mistakes, but I’m learning and improving.”
Swap “Nothing ever works out” for “There have been setbacks, but there have also been successes.”

Reframing isn’t about blind positivity; it’s about approaching challenges with honesty and hope.

Step 4: Practice Gratitude, Even in Small Doses

Gratitude is a powerful antidote to negativity. It shifts your attention from what’s lacking to what’s present and good, even if those things seem small:

Begin a daily gratitude journal. Write down three things you’re grateful for each day, no matter how minor.
Share your appreciation with others—thank someone, acknowledge a kind gesture, or savor a pleasant moment.

Over time, gratitude retrains your mind to seek the positive, creating a buffer against future negativity.

Step 5: Engage in Activities That Uplift

When negativity feels all-consuming, positive action can disrupt the cycle:

Move Your Body: Physical activity—walking, stretching, dancing—releases endorphins and lightens your mood.
Connect with Supportive People: Reach out to friends, family, or supportive communities. Sometimes, sharing your thoughts can provide perspective and relief.
Do Something Creative: Draw, write, play music, cook—engage in activities that immerse you in the present.
Spend Time in Nature: Even a short walk outdoors can restore calm and clarity.

Step 6: Set Boundaries With Negativity

You can’t always control what happens, but you can choose what you focus on and how much energy you give to negative influences. Set boundaries:

Limit exposure to negative news and social media.
Distance yourself from chronic complainers or toxic environments when possible.
Replace negative content with things that inspire or educate you.

Protecting your mental space is an act of self-respect.

Step 7: Cultivate Self-Compassion

We are often our harshest critics. When negativity strikes, offer yourself the same kindness you’d show to a good friend:

Speak to yourself gently, especially when you’re struggling.
Recognize that everyone experiences difficulty and negative thinking—it’s part of being human.
Forgive yourself for setbacks and celebrate small victories.

Self-compassion doesn’t eliminate challenges, but it makes them easier to face.

Step 8: Create a Mindset Reset Routine

Consistency is key to lasting change. Create daily rituals that reinforce a positive mindset:

Meditate or practice mindfulness, even for five minutes each day.
Read or listen to inspirational material.
Visualize positive outcomes or repeat affirmations that resonate with you.

Over time, these practices lay the foundation for resilience and optimism.

Step 9: Seek Professional Support When Needed

Sometimes, negativity stems from deeper emotional struggles such as anxiety, depression, or trauma. If you find it difficult to manage on your own, reach out to a mental health professional. Therapy or counseling provides tailored tools and support to help you reset your mindset and heal.

Remember

Negativity is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to define you. By practicing awareness, challenging your thoughts, nurturing yourself with gratitude and kindness, and building daily habits that uplift, you can reset your mindset—even in the darkest moments. Remember: every step you take toward positivity, no matter how small, is an act of courage and hope. Over time, these efforts can transform not only your thoughts, but your life.

Your mind is a garden—tend it with care, and watch resilience and optimism blossom, even after the storms.

Til next time Boo!

What it Really Means to Glow Up Your Mindset

Hey Boo!

If you’re like most people, when you hear “glow up” you think of outer changes like new clothes, hair, makeup, or weight loss. While those things are wonderful and can be empowering, the real glow up begins on the inside. Your mindset shapes how you see yourself, how you move through challenges, and how much light you allow yourself to shine into the world.

A mindset glow up isn’t about becoming someone new-it’s about uncovering the radiant version of you that’s been there all along.

Why Your Mindset Matters

Your mindset is the lens through which you view your life. When it’s clouded with self-doubt, limiting beliefs, or fear, everything feels heavier. But when you begin to shift toward self-belief, possibility, and trust, life feels lighter and more aligned. Suddenly,opportunities that once felt out of reach begin flowing your way.

3 Ways to Glow Up Your Mindset

Release Old Beliefs

Think of old limiting thoughts as outdated clothes- they may have served you once, but they no longer fit who you are becoming. Letting them go creates space for new, empowering beliefs to take their place.

Try this: Write down one belief that no longer serves you, then reframe it into an empowering truth. For example, the limiting belief I’m not good enough can be reframed to I am more than capable and worthy of everything I desire.

Embody Your Glowed-Up Self

Manifestation works when you align with the version of yourself who already has what you want. That means showing up with confidence, speaking kindly to yourself, and making choices as if your desires are already reality.

Ask Yourself: “What would the glowed-up version of me believe, say, or do in this moment?” And then do exactly that.

Practice Daily Glow Rituals

Consistency is key. Small daily rituals- like affirmations, journaling, or mindful breathing-keep your energy aligned with your intentions. Over time, these little practices compound into major shifts in mindset and manifestation.

You can start the mindset shift by saying an affirmation every morning while taking a deep breath. It could be something simple like: “I radiate confidence, love, and abundance.”

The Glow-Up Isn’t About Perfection

Remember: a mindset glow-up doesn’t happen overnight, and it isn’t about being perfect. It’s about progress. It’s about catching yourself in moments of self-doubt and choosing to redirect yourself toward self-belief. It’s about celebrating small wins, trusting the process, and glowing brighter each day.

Never forget- your glow isn’t something that you need to earn, it’s already within you. By upgrading your mindset and aligning your energy, you allow your inner light to shine more powerfully. That’s the kind of glow that no one can take away.

Til next time Boo

P.S. Keep Glowing…

From Rock Bottom to Rebirth: Why I Became a Life Coach

Hey Boo!

Some stories aren’t easy to tell. But they’re the ones that matter most.

For a long time, I stayed silent about what I had been through- about the pain, the fear, the loss, and the quiet hope that somehow kept me going. But today, I want to share a part of my journey with you, for those of you who aren’t familiar. Not for pity, but for the sake of authenticity and connection. Because if you’re in a dark place right now, I want you to know that you aren’t alone and that healing is possible.

The Breaking Point

From 2017 to 2021, I was in a marriage that was emotionally- and at times physically- abusive. Despite how miserable I was, I still found it difficult to leave. Part of me was still holding on to this hope that we would ‘get past’ this horrible time in our marriage and return to the love and life that we had planned together. He was also there for me during one of the most difficult periods of my life- the loss of my father in 2020. I felt like I couldn’t leave him after that. I mean, how could I walk away now?

The ’how’ became clear once the abuse worsened. It was as if the passing of my father emboldened him. And although I had a fear of the unknown, I knew that the unknown had to be better than what I was going through. I left with my daughter and the clothes on our backs. And for a time, we were homeless.

We bounced from motel to motel just trying to survive. My sister and I worked twelve hour shifts to keep us from literally being on the streets- and to take care of ourselves, my daughter, and mama. I was exhausted, heartbroken, and unsure of how we’d ever rebuild. But somewhere in all that pain, a small voice inside me whispered: this is not the end of your story.

The Turning Point

I didn’t become a life coach because I had it all together. I became one because I needed healing.

I enrolled in a certification program not to start a business at first, but to save myself. To understand my trauma. To learn how to process the pain, and piece my life back together.

And slowly, I began to do just that.

I applied what I was learning to my own life. I started seeing myself more clearly. I began trusting my voice again. I reclaimed my peace- and in doing so, I found my purpose.

Why I Coach Now

Today, I don’t just coach people on mindset and motivation. I walk them through their own moments of doubt, overwhelm, burnout, and healing. I create space for others to find themselves again- because I know what it’s like to feel lost and invisible.

This work isn’t a cash grab to me or just a job. It’s sacred.

It’s proof that even after everything… you can still glow.

If my journey teaches you anything, let it be this:

-Rock bottom doesn’t mean you’re broken- it means it’s time to rise.

-Healing isn’t linear, but it is possible.

-Your power is still within you, even if you’ve been through hell and back.

You’re not too broken. You’re not too late. And your story? It’s not over yet.

This is why I became a life coach. To rise- and to help others rise with me.

Until next time Boo, keep Glowing…

5 Signs You’re Healing (Even if it Doesn’t Feel Like It)

Hey Boo!

If you’re on a healing journey then you know that healing doesn’t always feel good. Some days, healing feels like breaking. Like going in circles. Like you’re never going to get “there”- wherever there is. I’ve been there more times than I can count.

One thing that I’ve discovered is that healing isn’t always loud. It isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it’s subtle and sacred. It hides in the way you keep going, even when it hurts.

Here are five signs that you’re healing, even if doesn’t feel like it right now:

You’re More Aware of What Triggers You

Before, Things might’ve thrown you into a spiral without warning. Now? You notice. You see the common themes in the situations that put you in a negative space. You’re more aware of your emotional state than you use to be. That awareness is growth. It means your mind is working with you now, not against you. Healing begins with noticing.

You Set Boundaries (Even if it Feels Uncomfortable)

You used to put the comfort of others ahead of your own. You’d be the first to show up for others and the last to show up for yourself. But now, you’ve started saying no, taking up space, and not explaining yourself every time. If you’ve been doing any of those things lately, even awkwardly- you’re healing. You’re learning to protect your peace. Boundaries are an act of healing and self love.

You’re Gentler with Yourself Than You Used to Be

You used to live in this loop of overthinking then beating yourself up, and it was hard for you to forgive yourself. But now you find that you give yourself a bit more grace and forgiveness. That grace and forgiveness is the softness that comes as a result of healing. Self-compassion is quiet, but it changes everything.

You Don’t Chase What Once Broke You

The old relationship, that toxic friend, the bad habit that you always ran to. If you’re choosing yourself and walking away from the things that once hurt you, you’ve shown a great amount of strength. That’s healing. Walking away isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.

You Still Hope- Even a Little

If you’re here, reading this, trying to feel better… that’s hope. Even when it’s dim. Even when it’s tired. Hope is a sign that somewhere deep down, you believe in the possibility of more. Healing is holding onto hope in the dark.

You may not see your progress, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Healing isn’t linear. It’s messy and painful and brave. You’re doing better than you think.

Keep Glowing