The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make Before Hiring a Coach

Hey Boo!

If you think the best way or the only way for you to achieve your goals is to do it by yourself then you have Lone Ranger Mentality. While there are some things that we must do independently, we as humans were not created to be independent, rather we should be interdependent. That being said, if you try to do it on your own and find that you need some help then you are well within your right to ask for assistance. Do you believe that reaching out to someone for help somehow indicates that you aren’t enough? That it somehow means you’re incapable and not smart enough, strong enough or good enough?

Well, let me assure you, the people who come to coaching are all of those things, extremely capable, smart, strong and a whole lot more. They choose coaching because they are ready to accelerate their personal or professional lives and work with a professional who will empower them to achieve their goals faster, easier and with better results than they could on their own.  

A coach will facilitate your self-discovery, the identification of your goals and the prioritization of those goals. Your coach will help you create your action plan as well as prepare for and overcome any challenges you encounter along the way. Your coach will hold you accountable for taking consistent action toward the realization of your goals. Accountability is one of the greatest payoffs of coaching. It is so powerful because it can make all the difference in terms of you being a Goal Achiever instead of just a Goal Setter and someone who walks the walk instead of someone who is talking the talk. Think of your coach as your success partner, whose reason for being is to help you get what you want quicker, easier and with better results than you could on your own.     

If you’re thinking your life is good and you’re relatively satisfied, congratulations! That did not happen on its own. You have obviously done some fabulous work. You’ve already proven you’re the kind of person who proactively goes after what you want, and you get it. So why would you settle for anything less than great? Why would you settle for a muted life when you could amplify your existence and live out loud? Do you really want to play it safe and stay comfortable? Playing it safe and staying comfortable can take you no further than average.

Common Misconception: only people whose lives are a mess get coaches. That’s actually not true at all. It is not uncommon for some clients to be people who have previously achieved success with coaching in the past. Now that they’ve personally experienced the power of coaching, they realize just how much less they were settling for, for themselves and their lives. They were settling for good when they could have been experiencing great. Coaching can dramatically increase the quality of their lives in all areas, from increased sales to enhanced relationships and from better health to increased productivity. After coaching they feel, many for the very first time, that they are fully and vibrantly alive.  Glowing, if you will.

So, we challenge those of you who are settling. We challenge you to stop settling for good. We challenge you to go for GREAT and beyond with coaching.

Do you have dreams or desires that you’ve left unfulfilled because you can’t imagine bringing them to life without adding a lot more to your already jam-packed schedule?

It may surprise you to know that coaching can enable you to be more, do more and have more by working smarter instead of harder. Your coach will lead you through an efficient process. You’ll begin by getting crystal clear about what you do and do not want in your life. What’s great about that is that when you figure out the things in your life that you’re tolerating or doing just because you feel like you should, you can create a lot of extra space in your schedule to tackle the things that are truly meaningful to you. Next, you will develop an action plan that details what it’s going to take, ‘the what by when’, for you to reach your goals. Finally, you will stay focused and on track by being accountable to your coach for taking consistent action and you will learn how to overcome any challenges that come up along the way.

Do you find yourself wishing other people were different; easier to get along with, more positive, more successful, trustworthy, or kind? Or do you find yourself thinking about how your life would be better if your circumstances were different if only you had a better job, more money, more time or more opportunity? Are you telling yourself that these external factors are responsible for what’s not working in your life or for preventing you from having what you want?

It can be very tempting to get caught up in this paradigm. But the reality is that if you are looking for or waiting for something outside of yourself to change and give you what you want, you will be waiting and frustrated for a very long time.

The reason for this is that you do not have control over anything outside of you.  What you do have, though, is total control over yourself. You have total control over your thoughts, your actions, and your results.

It is a fact that your circumstances will change when you make a committed decision to do the things that will move you in the direction of what you want to experience in your life, and then do them. Hiring a coach is one of the smartest things you can do to ensure you take control and create the reality you want to experience.

The Third Biggest Mistake – Wasting your time and money on stuff that doesn’t get you the results you want and is not ultimately fulfilling. 

Let’s face it; there are an infinite number of things that you can spend your hard earned money and valuable time on these days. When you know you want things to be different or better it’s easy for you to waste your time and your money in one of two ways.

The first one is spending your time and money collecting information that comes in the form of  books, software, seminars, reports or programs. You are collecting information that you believe can help you get what you want.

Now don’t get the wrong idea here, information is a great thing. I am a huge believer in books and programs being critical tools in helping you get where you want to go, but I want to make something very clear here.

Information alone will not get you results. You cannot expect that your sales will automatically increase just because you read the Guru of Sales latest book and you can’t assume that your monthly expenses will automatically organize themselves just because you purchased the newest expenses tracking software. You will get fulfilling results only by taking consistent action toward achieving your goals based on what you’ve learned from the information you’ve collected.

You may also be wasting your time and money by acquiring and participating in things that have nothing to do with, and even go against you having what you really want. (Example: investing in a new side hustle instead of completing your business launch.)

Have you ever allowed a month to go by where you indulge every food craving you had and did not exercise regularly, even though your deepest desire is to achieve and maintain a healthy body weight and lifestyle? Have you ever gone out and bought some expensive new technology you don’t really need or can’t really afford when what you truly desire is to feel successful and experience financial freedom?

If this sounds like you then you know what it’s like to be running on the hamster wheel of short term gain, in the form of immediate gratification, leading you to long term pain because your life experiences don’t match up with what you really want.

It’s very important to realize that spending your time or money on things that give you immediate gratification but have nothing to do with your goals and values will always leave you feeling empty. Completely and totally empty and looking for the next burst of short-term gratification.

Instead of wasting your time and money, why not invest in yourself in a way that will accelerate your personal and professional development? Working with a coach on an ongoing basis is the most time and cost-effective investment you can make in yourself and your quality of life.

Your coach can teach you how to make the most of what you’ve got and how to do more with less. Your coach will hold you accountable for taking consistent purposeful action towards achieving your goals.

By working with a coach, you will get crystal clear on what you really want, why you want it and how to get it. Having clarity takes the guesswork out of things. That way, you will be able to evaluate all future investment opportunities, and by that I mean any and all opportunities for you to spend your time or money, according to the coach’s ability to support you in fulfilling your purpose, your vision, your values and your goals. 

The Second Biggest Mistake – Waiting for a “good” time to make a change or go after the things you really want in life.

Guess what, there is no good time. Life will always be busy. There will always be family and business obligations to attend to, errands to run, chores to do, podcasts and reels to watch and people and projects that want your time, energy and money. Your life will always be busy and it will always get in the way of what you really want, if you let it.

Wondering what you can do about it? You can focus on the simple truth. Today. Stop kidding yourself that the perfect time is just around the corner or some time in the future at some unspecified date. Instead, decide to connect with a professional who can teach you how to make the most of every moment starting right now.

Your coach will hold you accountable while keeping you focused and on track to achieving your goals no matter what life throws at you.

The Biggest Mistake – Telling yourself you can’t afford a coach.

The truth is that you can’t afford not to have one. Coaches are highly in demand these days because coaching has proven itself to be an extremely effective method for facilitating personal and professional development and fulfillment.

The word is out everywhere, it’s on social media, it’s in corporations and it’s in solid and thriving communities. The word is out that coaching makes sense and it really works. In studies that have been done on the impact of coaching, the results have consistently shown a return on investment of more than 100%.

Coaching clients from all walks and areas of life consistently report that it is the best money they ever spent because their investment in an ongoing coaching partnership enables them to achieve their goals. What’s even better is coaching enables them to achieve their goals quicker, easier and with better results. Now think about that for a moment. Think about what that means for you. Anything you want is available to you quicker, easier and with better results through the vehicle of coaching.

If you are still unsure, consider this, it’s not enough for you to say you want things to be different.  Just wanting something doesn’t make it so.  You must make a decision and then take purposeful action toward what you want. When you put your money where your mouth is and invest in a coaching program you demonstrate your commitment to achieving the thing that you want and at the same time you cut yourself off from any possibility other than total success. Some coaches like myself have affordable payment plans for their coaching programs and would be happy to discuss options with you.

Oh! One more thing before I go. In the month of May, I will be running a special promotion for my new 12 week transformational coaching program. 25 slots. 50% off. I will be providing more information on that in the coming weeks, but feel free to reach out to me if that’s something you’re interested in.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

The Art of Achievement

Hey Boo!

Ever wondered how some people have everything that they dream of, but for the vast majority it just remains a dream? Here are some tips on how to help turn your dreams into reality. Fortunately, it’s not a question of genetics or luck; it’s down to the thinking strategies that we use.

  • Step One: Understanding What is Important to You

Knowing what matters most to you is the first and most vital step toward achievement. Without the understanding of what’s important to you, you’re just spinning wheels. Take a moment to think about what really is important to you. In fact, take out a pen and paper and write it down. What are your priorities? What are you passionate about? What are your values and how do they impact what your goals are? Do your goals and your values align?

If we have a greater understanding of our values, craft our goals in line with them, and address some of the other key areas listed here, we are rewarded with the energy and motivation to make them happen – with ease.

Now, having considered that, what goals do you have listed that coincide with your values? Take those goals and move on to step two.

  • Step Two: Optimize the Use of Your Time

The first step in optimizing the use of our time is understanding what’s important. Since we’ve done that in step one, we will now move on to step two which is distinguishing the importance of our activities.

To optimize the use of your time so that you can achieve your goals and earn the life you want you must spend time doing things that bring you closer to achievement. Take a moment to write down the steps that are necessary to accomplish the goal that you wrote down in step one. If you’re not quite sure what the next steps are, here are some questions to get you brainstorming:

Does your goal have a specific location? If so, how will you travel there?

Does your goal require certifications, degrees, licenses, funding? If so, how will you go about acquiring these things?

Does your goal have a certain time frame? If so, how can you break down the tasks in a way that makes the goal achievable within your time frame?

Once you’ve written down the steps you need to take to achieve your goal, dedicate a consistent amount of time doing things that bring you closer to achieving your desires. For example, if your goal is to lose 30 lbs in 3 months then you may aim to lose 10 lbs each month. Perhaps your steps would be to exercise a certain amount of times per week and eat a certain amount of calories per day. Optimizing the use of your time in this case may be you choosing to do a 30 minute workout instead of watching an episode of your favorite show.

What optimizing the use of your time, ask yourself this question- Are my current actions conducive to the goal I want to accomplish, or the person that I’m meant to be?

*Disclaimer: this is in no way a suggestion that you become a robotic worker-drone who never has fun and is focused on goals 24 hours a day. This is simply to state that consistent steps should be taken, and that sacrificing a momentarily enjoyable experience to invest in more lasting joy and fulfillment is heavenly encouraged.

To optimize the use of your time, it may be helpful to place the steps on a calendar so that you can schedule your tasks.

  • Step Three: Start with What You have Now, with the End in Mind

Having both established goals that are in line with your values and optimized your time, you now need to get started. It’s important that the start is made with the goal in mind and with a degree of realism on the resources that are available now. Accept the flaws and errors that may occur and understand that you don’t have to be perfect to start. I repeat- do not expect perfection or uber-success at your first effort.

It’s important not to be delusional on this step. Delusion is the result of setting off without a realistic view of what the present situation is or how challenging the task may actually be. And Delusion soon turns to disappointment which in turn turns to frustration and ultimately little or no significant progress.  At the end of the day we only have 3 resources: Physical and mental energy, time and money. It’s key that we learn how to make optimal use of these resources.

  • Step Four: Meeting Challenges

The first three steps should have you well on your way to goal achievement, but no amount of planning is going to account for every eventuality. Sometimes there are unplanned events and occurrences beyond your control. Many people consider these unplanned events to be problems that prevent progress and give up at that point. But people that achieve are not put off by these events and are more energized by the richness of the opportunities that are enveloped in these events. An unforeseen event can be an opportunity for growth and improvement, or even a detour leading you to a greater outcome than you expected. With the right mindset the journey to achievement can be viewed as one opportunity after another to reinforce the ability to succeed.

  • Consider This: How You Use Your Imagination

All human beings are blessed with incredibly powerful imaginations. However, many imagine outcomes of the future that are not going to be to their advantage. Imagining negative outcomes leads to worry, stress and fear and drains our energy and motivation. Imagining a positive outcome of the future releases more of the energy and motivation that we need to succeed at our goals.  Fortunately, the structure that we use in our minds is the same for both negative and positive imaginations. And with the right know-how you can use your fear to generate excitement and anticipation.

  • Forming Your Goals Well

When forming your goals it is essential to consider a number of factors; a compelling view of how things will be when the goal is achieved is as important as a clear understanding of what we will lose when we it’s achieved. Many times, the likely loss prevents us from achieving what we want because we have not adapted our thinking around the loss. A prime example of this is giving up smoking – many people fail to give up because having a cigarette provides them with a valuable 5-minute break. When the break is factored into the future along with the goal the chances of success are considerably increased. Although the extra time away from your workstation may seem like quite the reward, consider the health risks and dangers associated with smoking and weigh them against the benefits. When forming your goals it is important that the benefits of accomplishing the goal are clearly understood- and that they outweigh the benefits of not accomplishing the goal. (In this case the extra breaks and stress relief.)

  • Believe That it is Possible For You

Many people hold negative beliefs about whether the goal is achievable, whether they will ever achieve it and even whether it is really for them. It is important to overcome these beliefs or sabotage will continuously result. Fortunately, our beliefs can be changed as we are not born with limiting beliefs, and they don’t have to be accepted as your reality. As long as you set goals that align with your values, optimize the use of your time by taking consistent steps forward, and believe in yourself emphatically- you can achieve your goals.

What goal are you crushing next? I know you can do it!

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

6 Keys to Finding True Happiness

Hey Boo!

Are you happy? Did you know that happiness is your right and that you have every right to pursue it?

Yes indeed! The pursuit of happiness is one of the basic elements of human existence. We came here to be happy, we deserve to be happy, we want to be happy… So why are so many people unhappy then? Most likely people are not happy because they are missing one of the six keys to happiness.

The most important key to your personal happiness is determining that you will be happy. For many people, their personal happiness is not a priority in their life. Too often, we put the happiness of others before our own. While this may please our children, spouse, or boss, this is not the path to happiness. Doing things solely for the happiness of others often leaves us feeling unappreciated and unfulfilled in the long run, which is why it is important to prioritize doing things that genuinely make you happy. This doesn’t mean you should make yourself happy at the expense of others, but you must remember that the reverse should also not be true — your happiness should not be sacrificed to make others happy.

Once you have determined to make your pursuit of happiness a priority you need to determine just what it is that makes you happy. Spend some time reviewing the happy times in your life. Think about memories that make you smile or activities that make you joyful. Can you find a common element or theme? If so, that common element is one of the keys to finding true happiness for you.

Now that you have identified what makes you happy you need to engage in that activity. Perhaps you need a creative outlet? Join a writing group, take an art class, or learn an instrument. Do you need physical activity? Then find a way to get into a sport you love or try enjoyable activities that involve movement such as dancing to your favorite music or playing catch with your fur baby. Just find a way to reconnect with this key element.

 For most of us, special people in our lives can provide another element of happiness. Connection to others makes the human experience more joyful. Perhaps you have lost touch with someone important and can reach out to them to reconnect. Or maybe you just need to plan some special time with family. It is important to our own pursuit of happiness to stay connected with those we love.

Another essential to finding true happiness is to give of ourselves as well. Helping others in both small and large ways can help make you happier and more content. You might even be able to find a way to combine giving and engaging in an activity that makes you happy. For example, if you love to make people laugh you could organize a community talent show as a fundraiser for a local charity.

Finally, make a list of all the aspects of your life that do make you happy. So many of us get down because we dwell on the negative, but usually there is something about your life that makes you happy. Make a list of these items so you can have a quick mood enhancer when you feel down.

The pursuit of happiness does not have to be challenging or arduous. Finding true happiness can be as simple as determining, identifying, engaging, connecting, giving and reminding yourself of the 6 keys to personal happiness.

If you’ve been through some emotional challenges and are having difficulties finding your happiness again, try journaling to sort through your thoughts or reach out to a therapist or other trusted counselor or coach to help you find clarity. Free consultations are available to see if we’d be a good fit to work together as well.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

How to Master the Art of Gratitude to Achieve Success.

Hey Boo!

Gratitude.

I’m sure you have heard this word a million times before and you know that it simply means a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Gratitude may seem like an abstract or pointless concept to some, but the act of showing gratitude is actually rather simple and effective to implement. Knowing the power and potential of showing gratitude and subsequently applying it accordingly can be the single most decisive factor in ensuring better degrees of success for yourself.

Let’s dwell a little on exactly what gratitude can do for you and subsequently your success. Gratitude instills a positive feeling in you and the people you show it to. It alters your perspective of negative feelings, thoughts, or beliefs you may have of yourself or others by alerting these feelings, thoughts and beliefs to the things you are grateful for. Gratitude raises your awareness and focus and it can inspire you to achieve better for yourself and the people around you.

Although there are numerous other benefits to showing authentic gratitude, there are many people who neglect to shower themselves or the people around them with it. Instead, they put themselves and others down through criticism and condemnation.

Quick Gratitude Check

Answer the questions below to boost your level of gratitude:

  1.  Are there obstacles that are holding you back from showing gratitude to yourself and to others? If so, write them down.
  1. How can you overcome these obstacles?
  1. How actions can you take to unleash an onslaught of gratitude to yourself and to others?

The ‘obstacles’ mentioned above are typically negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs that you may possess that are not only hindering you from showing gratitude but they are likely also hindering you from success.

I use a process to overcome negative thoughts and feelings that I’ll refer to as Question, Debunk, Reaffirm. (I don’t know if it has an official name and I’m not trying to take credit for creating it. I may have read it in a CBT workbook. But it works!) First, I question the validity of the negative thought. Then I debunk the myth or limiting belief responsible for that thought. Next, I reaffirm with a positive new belief to replace the negative one.  Questioning the validity (and significance) of your negative thoughts and feelings instead of giving way to them often cause us to realize that we may have been getting all worked up for nothing. Overcoming mental obstacles is a very important topic, however, the chief aim of this blog is to show you the importance of showing gratitude and how you can go about doing it. As such, I will not touch in depth about how to overcome these negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs. But if you would like to find out more, please reach out to me directly. Follow Glow with Mimi on Facebook or join the Resilient Brave Beings private Facebook group.

Now that you are clearer about the benefits of gratitude, let’s first talk about how you can start showing gratitude to yourself. To start doing this, you must first be appreciative of all your achievements – big or small – that you have experienced so far in your life. Ask yourself: when was the last time you actually rewarded yourself for those achievements? If you have constantly been doing so, then good for you and keep it up. If not, then it’s about time you start indulging or pampering yourself with some simple or extravagant (whichever is appropriate) rewards for all your past achievements and future ones.

Next be appreciative of the things you have – your job, home, wealth, health, family, food and surroundings. I know it can be rather impossible to directly show gratitude to these things but no worries. You can list these things in a notebook or journal, and maybe even write down thank you notes for item to express your gratitude. Keep referring to this list when you’re feeling sad or depressed and you can instantly feel a surge of happiness or positive emotions.

So… we’ve covered how you can show gratitude to yourself and the things around you. Now I will touch on how you can show gratitude to the people around you. There are many ways you can express your gratitude to the people around you but I will only list the few I feel are important and simple to perform. Feel free to add your own and implement them as you see fit.

  1. Instead of putting down, insulting and complaining about the people around or working under you, try complementing, praising and appreciating them for all they have done for your well-being and your achievements. By doing this, you gain their respect and trust and they are more likely to continually assist you to achieve better.
  1.  Make a thank you list of all the people you are grateful for and constantly refer to this list to give yourself a better and greater feeling.
  1. Give a simple verbal thank you, note of appreciation or even a thank you e-mail to express your gratitude to the people who have assisted you in achievements.
  1. Shower the people you are grateful for with small or big cards, gifts, presents or rewards to clearly show them how much you appreciate them.
  1. Or simply provide the people around you with gifts that cannot be bought with cash like your valuable time, your sacrifice or something that is of utmost importance to you.

Gratitude.  Always bear in mind that when you show gratitude to yourself, the things and the people around you, you will definitely hold the key to unlocking your personal growth and ultimately your success.

That’s all I have for you until next Thursday. In the meantime, be authentic, be grateful, and always- keep Glowing…

Personal Development Power Tips

Hello Beautiful Soul!

This week, I want to provide some tips on one of the everlasting goals in life- personal development. Personal Development, at its basis, is anything that allows us to grow into an ordered life that is of our choosing. This is one of the most cherished goals among self-improvement practitioners. There are some excellent methods available for achieving it. Personal development may seem a bit overwhelming at times, so here are a few hints and tips to get you started.

  • Clean the clutter from your life

 There is an excellent saying in the personal development field, “a tidy desk is a tidy mind”. Oftentimes, your outer environment is a reflection of the way you think and feel. Is your living or work space always cluttered?  It’s important that you start to order your environment to reflect the ordered life you are building. Clear away unnecessary clutter from your surroundings. This may sound like a meaningless task, but you are sending a very clear message to your subconscious mind that you intend to get organized. When you begin to organize your living and work environment it allows you to develop the basic skills needed for organizing your life. This can be achieved through goals. You should structure your goals in such a way that each one builds on the other and ensure that they are not in opposition to one another.

  • Don’t have your goal too ‘set in stone’

A major factor in the non-attainment of goals is the inability to restructure plans and change direction when circumstances dictate these should be done. Remain flexible.

  • Don’t focus on the mistakes

There’s absolutely no need to agonize over every little imperfect detail. Simply analyze them and learn the lesson they are trying to teach you. By staying focused on your failures, problems or toils you are creating more of them or at least keeping them in your experience. Focus on the solutions or at least focus on the fact “your still in the game”. Consider any mistakes you’ve made as life lessons. Apply what you have learned from them and use them as references (of what not to do) in the future.

  • Make sure you follow through on your plans

Action and persistence can accomplish things that nothing else can. A plan without action is simply a dream that will never come true. To see success we must believe in our dream, form a plan, take action, and then remain diligent in performing those tasks until we see the result we desire.

Have you ever given up on a dream and regretted it? Did you ever wonder just how close you were to accomplishing your goal before you quit? Did you accept temporary lack of motivation as a ‘sign’ that you should give up?

Lack of motivation isn’t necessarily a sign to give up on your goal. Some people get excited and motivated at the start of a venture but find their enthusiasm waning as time goes on. If you’re one of those people, be sure to check in with yourself and discover if you’re unmotivated due to natural ebb and flow, (you’re not going to feel excitement all the time and that’s okay) or if your lack of motivation is truly lack of desire. Understand that your goal may take some time and effort to achieve and continue forward with persistence. Those who persist, especially in times like these, are those who ALWAYS win!

Until next time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

The Most Powerful Word- No!

Hey Boo!

You ever get tired of saying ‘yes’? Society has set the tone that the default answer to nearly every question is “Yes.” Advertising is all geared towards getting us to say “Yes – I need that.” We phrase our inquiries looking for yes: “Would you like more coffee?” “Would you be interested in joining me for dinner?” “Would you help me move next week?” “Would you mind if I asked you a personal question?” “Do you love me?”

With such a powerful default answer ingrained in us it can be very difficult to say anything else – often leaving us feeling trapped, guilty, or frustrated as a result.

With such an expected and requested default answer “No” becomes one of the most powerful words we can use – if we can manage it! With all the pressure though, overcoming this momentum for “Yes” can be incredibly difficult sometimes.

While it is still very important to make sure we are clear about what we want to say yes to, it is equally important if not more so, to be clear when to say no. Specifically the issue here is to be clear about what is important to you. Yes and no are equally viable and relevant answers in the appropriate circumstances – but may yield dramatically different results.

Saying yes when we really mean no can lead to resentment, frustration, confusion, and dissatisfaction. Understanding and applying the right answer at the right time is super important – but how do we figure it out?

The most important step in figuring out which answer is right is to start off by understanding what is important to you. This can be done with a simple reflection process. Take a moment to slow down and sink into your body. Allow yourself to notice sensations in your body without seeking to change them. Relax and connect with your inner voice of knowledge.

Now ask yourself a few simple questions about issues in your life. Notice how your body reacts. Is it energized? Does your body feel drained or depleted? One of those reactions will occur with Yes and the other with No in response to the question. Typically, the response that energizes us the most is the answer that is most relevant and thus most important to us. All you need to do is notice the response and thus the answer.

So now that we have our Yes/No list of life – how do we apply it? That seems easier said than done sometimes. The reality is it all boils down to the simple issue of honesty. Are you ready, willing and able to be honest first with yourself and then with others? This can be the hardest step as well as the most liberating.

Try out the “no” answer on something small at first. Maybe something as simple as “Would you like more coffee?” or a similar question.

Notice the contentment and satisfaction you feel in giving the honest answer or even just using the word! See where we can begin to apply that answer in ways that feel comfortable and empowering. Notice how your body reacts and feels more alive. Experiment with new questions and new opportunities.

Once you get comfortable with this easier answer comes the hard part – how do you say no to something we already said yes to? While perhaps a bit more uncomfortable it is still the same technique of honesty. When speaking with honesty it is also important to speak with patience, compassion and understanding. Remember that what we are essentially doing is changing the message we have previously communicated. Do not allow guilt or shame to color the communication though. Speak clearly about your decision and the realization to change the answer.

With openness and honesty, we can all speak clearly from our hearts about what is truly yes and truly no. Over time it gets easier, and we have to correct ourselves less and less.

If you find that saying no is especially difficult for you due to a history of people pleasing, then you should attend the From Grieving to Glowing Workshop on 2/24/2024 where we will be discussing anxiety, depression, people pleasing and other effects of narcissistic abuse along with tips on how to combat those effects.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, could you do two things for me?

  1. Remember that ‘No” is a complete sentence on its own.
  2. Keep Glowing

10 New Beliefs to Empower Your Life

Hello Beautiful Souls!

What we believe about ourselves and the world greatly affects how happy- or unhappy- we are in life. If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, it is highly likely that you have some limiting or toxic beliefs preventing you from being the person you were meant to be. Below is the list of the ten toxic beliefs that make women more susceptible to mistreatment, and the new empowering beliefs that you should learn in order to establish boundaries and live authentically.

Toxic Belief #1 Other people’s feelings and needs are more important than my own.

New Empowering Belief #1: My needs and feelings are just as important as anyone else’s.

Toxic Belief #2 The best way to ensure that I am safe from harm is to be nice to people.

New Empowering Belief #2: I am kind by choice because I can protect myself from harm.

Toxic Belief #3: What other people think of me is of paramount importance.

New Empowering Belief #3: My perception of myself is much more important than anyone’s opinion of me.

Toxic Belief #4: I need to be perfect in order to be loved and accepted.

New Empowering Belief #4: I am amazing and worthy of love just as I am.

Toxic Belief #5: I don’t have a right to stand up for myself.

New Empowering Belief #5:  I have a right to defend myself and to do what’s best for me.

Toxic Belief #6: Others are responsible for my wellbeing.

I am a capable woman and my wellbeing is my responsibility.

Toxic Belief #7: Anger is a destructive emotion and shouldn’t be expressed.

New Empowering Belief #7: Anger is a healthy emotion and can be used for constructive change.

Toxic Belief #8: Conflict is to be avoided at all costs.

New Empowering Belief #8: Conflict is a part of life and can be an opportunity for greater intimacy.

Toxic Belief #9: There is good in everyone, and people deserve multiple chances to prove it.

New Empowering Belief #9: I prioritize my boundaries over giving second chances.

Toxic Belief #10: Women need men to protect them and to support them financially.

New Empowering Belief #10: I am more than capable of protecting and providing for myself.

These toxic beliefs have put many women in harmful situations, some of which had fatal endings. It is very important to unlearn toxic or limiting beliefs, reclaim your power and take responsibility for your wellbeing so that you’re not just surviving, but living life on your own terms. Thriving and glowing from the inside, out.

There will be another Toxic Beliefs and People Pleasing Workshop later on this year, I’m not quite sure when yet so keep your eyes open for that. Also, the tickets for the From Grieving to Glowing workshop are available on Eventbrite. We will be discussing the effects of narcissistic abuse and some techniques to combat those effects so mark your calendars and I’ll see you on February 24, 2024!

Well Boo, that’s all I have for you this week. Remember that you are unique, divine, and capable of great things.

The Glow Up!

How we can ALL level up this year…

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I know that I’ve been missing in action lately when it comes to the weekly blog, but I have some great news and plans of things to come from Glow with Mimi.

I have been (and still am) furthering my education for the sake of my own personal growth and continued healing, and for the benefit of my readers, followers, and future clients as well. I’ve recently added narcissistic abuse recovery to my growing arsenal and am becoming trauma informed so that I can be as helpful and impactful as possible.

Considering this new information, Glow with Mimi is going through some changes and making some improvements. Here are some things to look out for:

Added/Improved Coaching Programs:

Glow with Mimi’s signature 12 week program (The ‘Inner Glow’ Program) has had some modifications and additions to its material and two program variations were created as well.

Variation 1: Inner Glow Mini

Inner Glow Mini is a 6 week program that covers the core elements of recovery, clarity, and goal setting to get you back on track after an encounter with a narcissist.

Variation 2: Inner Glow Deluxe

Inner Glow Deluxe includes everything from the Inner Glow Complete program along with 3 free additional sessions, weekly accountability check-ins, and VIP listing for discounts of future Glow with Mimi events and/or courses.

There are also three workshops taking place this year.

Workshop #1: From Grieving to Glowing

Informative and empowering workshop discussing the effects of narcissistic abuse as well as some techniques and strategies to heal those effects.

Date: 2/24/2024 12:00pm MST

The effects of narcissistic abuse are anxiety, depression, PTSD (or c-ptsd), loss of self-worth, physical symptoms, inability to forgive yourself, cognitive problems, emotional lability, trust issues, self-destructive habits, people pleasing, and can have effects on the children involved as well. Each of these effects impact our lives and relationships, and even alters the way we think of ourselves.

This workshop could be instrumental to healing the damaging effects of narcissistic abuse so that you can regain your sense of self and start a new and beautiful chapter in your life where you are confident and in control of your life and your world is a stunning reflection of your own self-love and inner glow. Message me for details or register on Eventbrite. Tickets are currently available for 25% off!

*This workshop is not gender specific and is a safe place for all who desire to participate. Anyone being rude or otherwise inappropriate will be promptly removed from the workshop with no refund.

Workshop #2: Anger Management

Not everyone responds to abuse the same way. While the more predictable or expected response to abuse is a timid demeanor and people pleasing behavior, some victims do become angry. When anger is not addressed it gets bottled up and can become very harmful. This workshop will discuss ways to deal with excessive anger.

*This workshop is not gender specific and is a safe place for all who desire to participate. Anyone being rude or otherwise inappropriate will be promptly removed from the workshop with no refund.

Date: TBA

Workshop #3 Toxic Beliefs & People Pleasing

This workshop will be an encore to the workshop that took place in September 2023 and will discuss the damaging beliefs learned during a girl’s upbringing that make her easy prey for narcissists. People pleasing behavior also attracts narcissistic relationships, both romantic and platonic and prevents the people pleaser from being authentic and/or prioritizing themselves which in turn makes them unhappy, resentful, and unfulfilled. The toxic beliefs must be recognized and unlearned with new empowering beliefs being set in their place.

Date: TBA

I am really excited about all the changes that are taking place! That’s all the glow up info that I can share at this time. Follow me on Facebook ( Glow with Mimi / Michelle Sumling) or on Instagram (mimi.sums) to stay up to date with workshop dates, catch live mini sessions when they happen, and get notifications every time a new blog drops.

You can also join my private facebook group Resilient Brave Beings where thought provoking prompts and tips are shared. (I’ve got some great plans for the group too! 😊 )

Much love to you beautiful soul. Until next time, keep glowing…

Excellence is Never an Accident

“Excellence is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction, skillful execution and the vision to see obstacles as opportunities.”

Hello Beautiful Souls!

The above anonymous quote was displayed prominently in an office, where, oddly enough, it seemed to attract very little attention. In any case, it has made enough of an impression to invite a look at these words of wisdom and see where these words may apply.

When embarking on a road trip, unless a bout of aimless wandering around the country is the intent, it is essential to have a destination in mind and a map. Most people in the world are living someone else’s agenda. Stated differently, most people are on a path of aimless wandering – much like a traveler without a specific destination or map. It would be most valuable to look at different areas or aspects of life and ask, “what is the intention here?” Consider the areas of family, business, spiritual practice, financial means, retirement, education, self-development, health, and social interaction. Most people, by their own admission, are not living fully actualized lives and full potential. One main cause is a lack of clear and focused intention and direction.

Without clear direction, “sincere effort” is impossible. Perhaps effort becomes sincere when clear intention is established. Most people merely do an adequate job of trying whatever it is they’re doing because they are relatively un-inspired by the task. Sincere effort stems from high intention. It flows naturally. Look at the areas of life where one is just “spinning wheels” or “killing time.” This indicates insincere effort – an opportunity to create a more focused and clear intention!

As humans we tend to see in purely linear “cause and effect” terms. “When given lemons, make lemonade” is certainly simplistic, but most people who are successful have had to become adept at taking some perceived challenge and using it as an opportunity for benefit, value, and profit. This comes from introspection, the counsel of open minded and visionary people (of which there are few).

Each of these steps, when applied, provides opportunity, challenge, impact, and benefit. With these steps in mind, it is a matter of will to trade in mediocrity for excellence!

If you’d like to take your journey from mediocre to excellent and you’re not quite sure how, schedule a free consultation with me at https://glow-with-mimi.square.site I am currently having a special promotion for my coaching program. It is 25% off it’s regular price until 9/21/23 or for the first 10 clients who snag this deal.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep glowing…

Creating the Best Year of Your Life!

Self-Reflect Your Way to a Glow-Up

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I am so excited about this blog! This is something that I stumbled upon in my archives. (Oh yeah, I have loads of content for all my readers and followers, so hold on to your hats!!) And be sure to check out my website www.glowwithmimi.com for ebooks on financial and life coaching topics.

Oh! Where was I? Yes, Creating the best year of your life!

At the end of each year, and on their birthdays, many people take time to reflect and look ahead. If you’re one of these people, or if you would like to start getting the benefits from a little self-reflection, I have some great questions for you.

These questions can be looked at once a year, once a month or whenever you’re looking for some direction in your life. I invite you to take a good hard look at your life more than once a year. You’ll get a lot more out of your life if you’re more conscious about what you’re creating.

These questions have been designed to help you to take time to complete the year and to formulate the new year from a clean slate. By working on the following questions, you will complete this year powerfully so you can have the room to build a new “me” for the new year.

Looking at this past year:

1. What do I want to be acknowledged for?

2. What did I accomplish?

3. What did I want to accomplish that I did not accomplish? (Do I still want to do this?)

4. What did I say I would do that I didn’t do? (Do I still want to do this?)

5. Who do I need to be in communication with? 5a. Who do I need to cease communication with?

6. What were my biggest disappointments? 6a. Can those disappointments be avoided moving forward?

7. What did I learn? – List 3 lessons which will make the most difference if you remember them this year?

(See them as guidelines for next year).

Changing patterns:

1. How do you limit yourself and how can you transform these actions to be powerful?

2. What do you say to yourself to explain your failures? (These false beliefs are your limiting paradigm).

3. List your limiting paradigm.

4. List your new paradigm which must be personal, positive, present tense, powerfully and simply stated, pointing to an exciting future.

5. Read your new paradigm out loud when you awake and before going to sleep each day. Teach your subconscious that this is your paradigm.

Looking ahead:

1. What are your personal values? What is most important to you in your life? What drives you?

2. What roles do you play in your life? Rate each role on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the most important.

3. Where is your life out of balance? If you could put one problem behind you, once and for all, what would it be?

4. Which role is your major focus for next year? (In what role do you want a breakthrough performance? If you could put a check mark by one of these roles at the end of next year showing, showing that you felt good about how you are playing that role, which one would it be?)

5. What are your goals for each role?

The way that this works is that for at least a week or two you ask yourself the above questions. I write them down and do it in writing several different times. Then after doing that for all of the above questions you answer one final question:

What do I want to accomplish and who do I want to be in the coming year?

Wow! Awesome right? Write these questions down and answer them honestly. Not for anyone else, but for you. If you do this exercise and apply what you’ve written, you are well on your way to Creating the Best Year of Your Life!

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…