Hello beautiful souls!

I just wanted to share my thoughts on the concept of closure-especially in romantic relationships. I have experienced myself as well as heard from many people that felt like they were stuck in a sense (hurt, not able to move forward) because there was no closure from their last relationship.

To be completely honest, I think I used lack of closure as an excuse to leave the door open for certain men in my past. As I matured and evolved it dawned on me that I was setting myself up for emotional upset.

One of my exes and I were doing the same song and dance we had done for years. The one where he says he doesn’t want a commitment  but he does “boyfriend things”. He didn’t want me to date anyone. He would even introduce me to other men as his Belle. But whenever I tried to return that same energy, he would emphasize that we were friends. “Best friends”.

And one day, without warning, I just stopped coming around. I stopped communicating with him. Months later, he tried to reenter my life and I told him that I had gotten married. He sarcastically congratulated me and I gave him a facetious ‘thank you’ with a smiley face as a response.

I went on and changed my number after that.

No closure was necessary.  I chose to close the door on that situationship myself.

Do not wait for your ex to free you- because they may never do it. They may like the idea of having you around, even though they have no intention of doing right by you.. Sure, an explanation for broken promises or failed relationships would be nice, but realistically,  you’re not likely to get what you’re looking for.

And that is how we must regard things moving forward. Closure itself is not a myth; rather the idea of needing closure to move forward. You don’t need another person to heal. All you really need is you. You, your intuition,  and the truth.

That is the lesson that I learned. I learned that I didn’t need anyone to heal me, to explain to me, to “fix” me. If I was broken; then I chose to be. I also learned that each person has the right to choose what they want to do with their time and energy. And for whatever reason- or no reason at all- they can choose to stop spending that time and energy with me.

At certain points it was a hard truth to accept, but it has made me stronger and wiser.

So, if you find yourself desiring closure, do yourself a favor and close it on your own. Take an honest look at the relationship. Own the things that you did wrong and learn from them. Decide what you want from your future partner and maintain that standard.

You deserve to live and love without limits. Please don’t limit yourself by living in the past.

Until next time beautiful souls…💜💫

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I missed last week because I have been navigating through some changes which unfortunately had me preoccupied and in survival mode. But I digress…

I like to speak from three sources: my heart, my inspiration, and my experiences. So this is why I’d like to talk to you about the importance of a paper trail.

Due to decisions that I had made in my past, I’ve found myself in the position where I was a silent partner and at this point in my life it is making things difficult for me.

For almost five years, I’ve been in a partnership where my significant other took the lead on a lot of things. He wanted to and I was trying to be supportive. Also, my credit was bad and I didn’t want to “mess things up”. So, I was the silent partner. I have been investing money into things while his name was on all the paperwork. But this decision to play the background has come full circle and it leaves me currently in a challenging situation in life.

While I feel that in marriage you should be able to trust your mate, sometimes too much trust is foolhardy. In the event that a marriage or relationship turns sour; the silent partner is left with no evidence of their contributions and the other person can take ownership of whatever they choose.

Hence my current situation.

Our marriage has actually been turbulent for some time and despite my best efforts, it is dissolving in a messy and painful way. Because my name wasn’t on anything, he has chosen to leave me with nothing.

So, I urge each and every one of you to get things in writing. Learn from my painful experience. And if your credit is bad, begin to work on it before cohabitation if possible. I wasn’t aware of things that I could do to build my credit before, but I’m learning now.

To build or rebuild credit, get a Fingerhut account, an unsecured credit card, and you can try Self as well. They don’t cost much to start and they report to credit bureaus right away. My credit score has gone up 80 points so far!

If you’re already cohabiting, talk to your partner. Get something in writing. Don’t worry about rocking the boat, because if your partner truly cares for you then they will understand your apprehension and want to ease your skepticism.

That is the lesson I learned that I wanted to share with you in hopes that this may prevent someone else from being in this position.

Until next time beautiful souls… 💜✨

Hello Beautiful Souls! Today I wrote a special piece. Here goes…

Although it was a movie, I got a really profound message from The Equalizer 2. One of the characters said that if you don’t remember your loved ones out loud, then they die twice. Well… not on my watch! Because I remember you.

I remember you grandpa. Well, grandpas although one of you more vaguely. I remember sitting on your lap at about age five rendering your cheek a kiss. I remember you grandpa- he was cleaner than the board of health, read his Bible every morning and produced some exceptional men.

I remember you uncles. The great cooks; the storytellers. The rambunctious ones, and the ones who stood for what they thought was right. Even if it was wrong. I remember you.

I remember my beautiful aunties. Some with sweet love, some with tough love, some with laughs and bear hugs. With perfect flapjacks and hearts too big for their chests. With the best quips and sugar cookies. Some with genuine love buried deep beneath their traumas and insecurities. I remember you.

I remember you cousins. Some practically strangers, some adults while I was a kid, some bikers, some dealers, some cousins that aren’t even cousins. And then some who dance seamlessly. Who were their own trend and never spoke a cross word. I remember you.

I remember you sister. Who was her own party and dynamic. Who was secretly much more envied and admired than admonished. Who’s heart loved deeply. The one who knew who she was and couldn’t fully see who she was all at the same time. I remember you.

I remember you comrades. Who were heroes many times over. Who made mistakes and was making amends, who were let down, who were lost and forgotten, who just needed a chance, who were excited about the future that never came, who were just about to start a business. Who couldn’t bear the pain. And those who were suddenly taken- I remember you.

And last but oh so certainly not least. Dad- I remember you. You. Who cradled our concerns and made us laugh. The one who made us feel like everything was gonna be okay. The one who caught busses and walked on broken ankles to work a full shift fueled solely by pure, passionate, relentless, unadulterated love. The love of one woman’s life for over 40 years. The brother, the son, the cousin, the cool grandparent, the true friend, the uncle, the big homie, the great singer, the coach, the wise philosopher; the comedian. The one who had his own unmatched, understated swagger and magnificence.

I remember you.

I remember you.

I remember you.

And as long as I live…you will not die again.

Until next time beautiful souls! 💜✨ Mimi

Hi!

I hope you all are well. As I discover things about myself; I share them with the belief that they will help someone else.

Recently on my journey, I’ve been thrown a few curve balls. While trying to vent to a close relative; I found myself upset because she didn’t seem to understand or accept what I was saying as the truth. In a sense, I guess, I felt that she was ‘taking the other person’s side’.

And then I realized that I had an issue with wanting to be accepted as well as understood. I believe it comes from feeling / being rejected in my younger years. I’ve always been a bit different. People called me weird and I really wanted to just be like everyone else.

But that’s no good.

And let me tell you why: I wasn’t created to be like everyone else. No one was. It’s plain and simple. Everyone is unique and has their own personality, perspective, and purpose. Some people may be similar to you in some ways, but the way they view things may be different. They may have different thoughts based on different experiences.

One person’s perspective does not nullify or devalue another’s. Everyone has something valuable to do, say and be. And my purpose is to speak my truth. To present my ideas, thoughts and experiences to the world and allow the people that need to hear my message to find it.

Nothing more, nothing less.

It is not my purpose or my right to try and make a person see things my way. It is not rejection. It is only a viewpoint based on that unique individual.

I learned that a person’s acceptance; or lack thereof is actually quite alright. It does not make my opinion, my feelings, or my perspective invalid.

A person must know themselves and trust themselves enough to stand firm in their convictions regardless of the opinions of others.

You are you. And you must do things in life that only you can.

Acceptance not necessary.

Until next time beautiful souls- be blessed, much love. And remember: you are the dopeness that this world needs!

Love and Light- Mimi 💜✨