You Made Me Who I am Today, But if I Never Saw You Again it Would be Too Soon.

Hey Boo!

For this week’s blog, I thought I’d do something different. A week or so ago, I saw a post from a content creator expressing love and gratitude to the person who helped them elevate to their current level of being. It brought me joy to see the post, but it also caused me to reflect on the person who made me who I am today and that’s not quite as joyful a story. I want to share some of my story with you in the form of a letter. Here goes:

Dear “Deion”,

A lot has happened since we last spoke. It’s been over two years since we’ve had any communication at all, and I know that’s not what you wanted, but it’s what I needed. I blocked you on social media, changed my number and stopped responding to your e-mails because it was clear that you were still unwilling to claim any responsibility for the way our marriage fell apart. My jaw hit the floor when I read your line about how ‘if anyone was afraid, it should be you’. I was amazed and appalled, especially since it was me who was threatened with a steel pipe and chased away from my home on foot.

I won’t mince words- our marriage was a complete disaster. From the very beginning you weren’t honest about who you were. You lied about your age, how many children you had, and your criminal history just to name a few things. The thing about that is if you were honest from the beginning, I may have still given you a chance. I thought you were a decent guy and my heart went out to you as you talked about the women in your past and how they’d done you wrong. I had experienced similar hurt and betrayal and just wanted someone I could love freely who would reciprocate. I thought that I’d found that in you. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.

You looked me in my eyes as I shared my pain, vulnerabilities, and fears and you vowed to be different. And I guess you didn’t lie because you were different. You turned out to be much worse than anything I’d encountered before.

The first few months were blissful. You were caring, thoughtful, and attentive. You looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life. You told me that you’d never met a woman like me, and you appreciated all of the things that I did for you out of love. You said you loved everything about me- how I dressed and presented myself, my intelligence and personality, even my goals and aspirations. I had written and self-published a book and you had offered to help me promote it on social media. I was so happy to be your wife. I would’ve went to the ends of the earth for you because I loved you. And you loved me too, right?

Wrong.

After the first few months, I never saw the man I married again. Your representative had disappeared, and I was left with something that you had actually never shared with me, your true self. You started complaining about the very things you claimed to love and understand. We began to fight a lot and I made changes to keep the peace. You didn’t want me working, so I quit. You felt like social media was causing problems in our marriage, so I disconnected. I changed how I dressed so that you wouldn’t think I was ‘trying to look good for someone else’. Essentially, I tried to become everything you wanted me to be. But even that wasn’t enough. Every time I met your expectations, you created new ones for me to meet. As I put in more effort, you put in even less. The fighting increased and intensified to the point of exhaustion. Sometimes things got physical, and let’s not forget the night you could’ve ended both of our lives.

It may seem like I’m trying to dump all of the blame on you, but I’m not. Although youdid a lot of very hurtful things to me, it was I who allowed them. I take responsibility for my lack of self-esteem, poor boundaries, and codependency. I acknowledge that there were red flags that I ignored because I was already so convinced that you were the one. I made excuses for you and dismissed things that I shouldn’t have.

During the course of our marriage, I gained over 60 pounds, struggled with bouts of depression and ptsd, and experienced multiple lupus flares due to stress. I was stifled, isolated, and miserable.

Outside of the passing of my parents, our marriage was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I’d never felt so broken, so worthless, so low. But it was also one of the most impactful. Because when you hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but UP. And that’s what I did. From the trauma and pain I was able to heal and rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

And in some way, I have you to thank for that. The truth is, you helped make me the person I am today but if I never saw you again it would be too soon. I don’t wish you any harm and I truly hope that you are able to heal from your wounds and find peace. Because that’s what I was able to do and it’s absolutely blissful. Not perfect but blissful.

Goodbye “Deion”, and good luck.

Well, that’s all I have for this week beautiful souls. Until next time, keep Glowing…

10 Effective Tips for Time Management

Want to make the Most out of Your Time?

Hey Boo!

Have you ever seen people on your timeline that always seemed to be on the move and thought to yourself, ‘where do they find the time?’ I most certainly have. I was caught in the cycle of work, eat, sleep, repeat and was most miserable. I used to wish I had more time. But the truth is, we all have the same 24 hours in a day and there’s no changing that. I had to find a way to do not just thie things I needed to do, but the things that I wanted to do so that I could have joy and balance in my life. The solution isn’t more time, it’s better time management.

Here are some helpful tips

Clarify your goals and strategy

Be very clear about your aims and ambitions, both short and long term. Write them down. Once you know what you really want to achieve (and why) it’s easier to make decisions about what needs doing, and to plan accordingly.

Focus on your top priorities

You’ll be more productive and profitable if you identify and focus on the areas most important to your business. Work on the fundamentals first. The Latin word ‘fundamentum’ means foundation – so take action, build strong foundations and the rest should follow.

Schedule time

Literally write an appointment in your work planner (you do have one of those, don’t you?) to set aside a realistic block of time for your priority actions. This reduces anxiety over not having enough time and keeps you focused.

Say no!

Consider Jim Rohn’s suggestion. “Learn how to say no. Don’t let your mouth overload your back.” Always check your schedule before committing to anything new. Don’t allow others to divert you from your objectives.

Create supportive systems

This includes systems for filing, management information and communication.

Take a reality check

Will your current activity have a positive outcome, or are you doing it to avoid something else? Ask yourself – will doing this take me towards my goal? As Peter F Drucker observed “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

Delegate!

It’s tempting to do something yourself when you think you can do it faster and better. But consider the long term – delegation now will save time in the future, and if done appropriately can motivate your staff, boost their confidence and help them develop their skills.

Repeat your success

Remember the last time you went away on holiday, and how you got so much done in those few days before you left? What strategies and techniques did you employ that made you so effective and focused? Can you repeat them? Alternatively, imagine you are going away tomorrow and work through today accordingly.

Balance your life

Formally schedule personal activities too, so you make time for family, friends, your health and fun because having a balanced life reduces stress and increases energy levels. Time management is really about life management!

End the day

At the end of the working day, tidy your desk, make notes about what needs doing tomorrow and prioritise those tasks. You’ll worry less that evening and be prepared and focused the next morning.

I hope those tips were as helpful to you as they have been to me. Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

Life’s 3 Mandates

Why are we here??

Hey Boo!

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately on where I am in life, the steps that I need to take to get where I want to go, and I began to think of life in general. What is the purpose of it all? Why are we even here?

I believe that we all have a purpose and path that is unique to us, but within that purpose there are three mandates that we must achieve in order to be truly happy.

Mandate #1: Be Authentic

Being authentic means being true to yourself and being true to yourself requires an understanding and knowledge of self that can only be gained through honest self-evaluation. You cannot be true to yourself without first admitting the truth about yourself.

Being authentic is boldly standing in your own uniqueness, learning and growing while sharing your unique light with the world. Authenticity can be challenging – especially in this day and age- with the existence of so many rules, traditions, obligations, and expectations. Let’s not forget the ever present ‘internet gangsters’ with their relentless opinions.

Remember that this life is yours to live and that being your authentic self should not bother or hurt people in your life that truly love you. Being your authentic self will improve quality of life not only for you, but for the people around you.

The mandate of being authentic brings more purity and honesty into the world and challenges others to be authentic as well.

Mandate #2: Be Creative

This is a fantastic mandate because it involves us expressing ourselves through creativity. Everyone has at least one creative gift. Whether it’s singing or dancing, writing, teaching, building, coaching, inspiring, helping, painting, or anything else your gift is not only valuable to you but to others as well. Your creative gift is a remedy to someone’s ailment and joy to their soul, so you are actually obligated to share your creative gift with all who appreciate it. Creative gifts were meant to be given, to be shared, and to be celebrated.

So, stop holding back and share your creative gift with the world. You won’t regret it!

The mandate of being creative brings more imagination and freedom into the world and inspires others to be creative as well.

Mandate #3: Love Unconditionally

As much as I enjoy authenticity and creativity, love has to be my absolute favorite mandate. I feel that love is vital to the human experience and powers everything. It is the one thing in this world that every human must truly feel, express, and experience to really feel alive and fulfilled.

Although we often tend to think of romantic love when love is mentioned, the love that I am referring to is love that must first start with the self. Self-awareness, self-acceptance, and then self-love allows us to access the richest form of love there is which is unconditional. This is the type of love that says, ‘I love you for who you are. I recognize your divinity and I appreciate your light.’ Once you are able to say those words to yourself and mean them, you have mastered a great feat and are equipped with an unstoppable force.

So, dare to open your heart. Search yourself for understanding and acceptance so that you can acquire a love that floods your soul and makes your heart sing.

The mandate of love brings more joy and hope into the world and heals others so that they can love unconditionally as well.

That’s all I have for today Boo. Remember that the month of May will kick off my 5 for 50% off promotion for my Inner Glow Complete and Inner Glow Deluxe coaching packages. The Inner Glow program can help you get unstuck, discover your purpose, and create a plan of action to make things happen. The Inner Glow Deluxe program provides all of those things as well as additional sessions and modules that deal specifically with the effects of narcissistic abuse. If you know that you would greatly benefit from one my coaching program, you should most definitely reach out and schedule a free consultation. My program is affordable and payment plans are available.

Until Next time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

3 Steps to Discovering Your Purpose

Hey Boo!

Do you ever wonder, what’s my purpose? What really is the point of it all?

Determining what our purpose is in life can be one of the hardest questions that we as humans must try to answer. In this blog we will be going through a step by step process, exploring your feelings and options, and by the end, you should have a fairly solid tool you can immediately employ in your life, to help give it a meaningful direction!

There are three steps to the process of discovering the purpose of your life:

Understanding the principle of choice
Creating your “underlying principle”
Aligning your life with this underlying principle

Understanding The Principle of Choice

Norman Vincent Peale has this to say about the power of choice. “The greatest power we have is the power of choice. It is an actual fact, that if you have been groping under unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous, instead. And, by effort, lift yourself into joy. If you tend to be fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have courage. The whole trend and the quality of anyone’s life is determined by the choices that are made”.

“Choosing” is the most important activity of your mind, because by making a choice, you are proclaiming your desires to your subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind gets to know your desires, it is going to do anything to manifest them in your life. The choices you make in your life become your goal. And, if you are sincere in pursuing them, there is no reason why you should not accomplish them.

Indecision, on the other hand, not only creates frustration and anxiety, but can also confuses the subconscious mind about what you want. But it is important that the choices you make are made by you, in accordance with your true desires, purposes and aptitude. A lot of us let others make choices for us or make our choices according to what we think is ‘correct’, even if that means going against our own wishes. What is right for someone else may not be right for you, and the way to know this is listening to what your heart says.

So, to begin with, make a list of things which interest you; things which you have always enjoyed, which make you feel better, which inspire you to press forward, no matter what obstacles you face. Do you like doing something creative, or something artistic? Do you enjoy nature? Do you like the sea? Do you enjoy helping others? Do you get pleasure out of making a difference in other people’s lives?

Whatever it is that interests you, write it down and answer these questions:

What thing do you love to do?

What is it that you love about this thing and why?

How could you do this for money, and make a living out of it?

Creating Your Underlying Principle

The next step is to examine the list you just made and find out if there is any recurring theme. Maybe, it is contribution that keeps coming up, or a desire to seek or give love, to feed the hungry, or help the elderly cope with old age. Whatever it is, try to identify the central theme of the things you love to do, and try to put it in a short and precise statement. This will be your ‘Mission Statement’. It may even be a quote by a famous person, or a philosophy that has influenced you. Of course, as you grow up, this statement could evolve, but its soul will remain the same. Now, write down your Mission Statement.

Aligning Your LIFE With Your Underlying Principle

The final step in this journey is to map your path to your ultimate purpose and to begin implementing changes that help to align your daily life with your underlying purpose. Take a moment to brainstorm on the little things that you can do right now to cultivate the energy and environment you want to be in. By making these little changes in your lifestyle, you will be able to begin living this principle out each and every day. It might take a few days, but by becoming aware and intentional of this underlying principle of your life, you will certainly start to feel the difference in your enthusiasm for life as a whole. If you realize that you love being amidst nature, plan out vacations and outings. Maybe an outing with your children or friends can be the start as you create even more ways to get into the environment that helps you thrive most. If you discover that you enjoy helping those in need, start to look for opportunities to volunteer in your community. On the other hand, you might even want to change your job, or start a new business that is more in line with your mission.

Whatever it is that you desire to do, know that it is in you to do- or else you wouldn’t have had the idea or desire in the first place.

So, there you have it! By following along with the steps outlined above, you will be on your way to finding and living out your purpose. And, as you go through this process, just remember, “You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.” – Steve Maraboli

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

The Ultimate Success Formula

Hey Boo!

Do you know what it takes to be successful?

I’m sure that if you ask around, you will find different definitions of success and different answers to the formula of success. The truth is, success leaves clues and you can achieve success in the area you desire by observing the common qualities and principles. They are simple and considered to be common sense but many people simply do not follow them.

Let me share with you one of my favorite quotes:

“There are no secrets to success. It is the results of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” -Colin Powell

As stated in that quote, there are three key factors to achieve massive success in your life:

Preparation

You don’t have to wait for everything to be perfect. Start with the first step and keep moving. Success doesn’t happen overnight. Prepare, prepare, prepare. You must be ready to receive the success you desire. Set your sight to the destination that you want to achieve, then work and prepare for the moment when the opportunity knocks your door. As one of my mentors once said to me, “it’s better to be prepared and not have the opportunity than to have the opportunity and not be prepared.”

Hard Work

Success needs hard work. Don’t listen to these ‘get rich quick’ schemes. You need to build your character and work hard on yourself and your business to achieve greatness. By ‘hard work’ what I mean is consistent, intentional work. Do the right things and do them in the right way. Don’t procrastinate. Take bold actions. Work with determination to craft your legacy.

Learning from failure

Successful people do not see failures as failures. They see them as important learning lessons. Lessons that are capable of giving them insights to prevent such mistakes from happening again. By adopting this mindset of turning each failure into a learning lesson or opportunity, you can never fail until you yourself quit.

It is also important to focus on your evolution and don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. Comparison is the thief of joy and once you try to do things like someone else instead of yourself, you cheat yourself and the world out of a unique experience.

And I will end this blog with another great quote: “Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” -Winston Churchill

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

The A’s of Success: Authenticity & Alignment

Hey Boo!

Have you ever felt as if you are beating your head against a wall? You try time and time again to achieve a goal, but instead you fall short- struggling rather than moving forward and achieving your goals with grace and ease.

You are not alone. The struggle to move from what we don’t want to what we do want is, unfortunately, a fundamental struggle for many individuals. Believe it or not, it is very common for people to struggle against what they want and to actively limit their good. In order to have what you want, you must be willing to end the struggle and move into action. Your success is dependent on your ability to reach your goals and achieve.

The easiest way to move from “stuck” into action without struggle is to be authentic and to be in alignment with your authenticity. Authenticity means that you are connected to your core and that your desires are a true reflection of your inner self and soul.

Alignment means that your entire being is in agreement with the goal you want to achieve.

For example, you come home from work one evening and you are very tired. But this evening is your work-out night. You sit on the couch and actually have to talk yourself into getting into your gym clothes and heading to the gym. What you did in convincing part of yourself to go to the gym when it really wanted to rest on the couch is called alignment. You got yourself into alignment with the idea and intention of going to the gym no matter how tired a part of you felt because you know that working out is for your greater good.

To end struggle and successfully achieve goals, all parts of you must work together for manifestation. That means all bodies, mental, physical, emotional and spiritual, must be in agreement concerning a goal. There can be no doubts, limiting beliefs or attachments. The following describes a process you can use to do an authenticity check concerning your goals and bring yourself into alignment with your goals.

Step One: Sit quietly – create a peaceful, serene and nurturing space for yourself. It must be a space where you feel comfortable and secure. Spend several minutes in quiet and inner reflection upon your goal. Have paper and pen handy.

Step Two: The Authenticity Check: Ask within if this goal is the appropriate goal for you to achieve at this time. If the answer is yes, skip to the next step. If the answer is no, ask what a more appropriate goal would be for you right now.

By asking this question, you move from being ruled by the needs of the mind (survival issues) and begin to access the soul within. You leave behind the petty desires of the ego and move into realizing the desires of the soul. As a result, your goals become truer and more authentic.

Write down the response you receive. If you need additional clarity concerning the response, ask for it. Keep asking within until you feel complete.

Step Three: Alignment. Once you have a defined and authentic goal, it is time to create alignment. Remain in your space of quiet and comfort; ask to speak to your mental body. (You will repeat step Three with each of the bodies) Ask your mental body if it is willing to be in alignment with your goal. The purpose of this question is to uncover any blocks or limitations that reside in the mental body concerning the goal. If the answer is yes, proceed to the next body: physical, spiritual and emotional.

If the answer is no, simply begin a conversation with this part of you. Some questions to begin with are: Why are you not willing to be in alignment with this goal? What would it take for you to be in alignment with this goal? When a part is not willing to be in alignment with an authentic goal, the cause may be fear or insecurity. Usually the situation is remedied by helping the part understand that it is taken care of, that it is safe and that it has nothing to fear. Simply, have a conversation with the part and inform it of the truth. Once you receive the willingness of all the bodies, remember to thank them for supporting the manifestation of this authentic goal. Affirm your alignment with this goal and your intention to manifest it.

By completing this process, you have created an authentic goal and brought yourself into full alignment with this goal. You can now move forward without struggle because all blocks have been removed. Success shall be yours.

Well Boo, I hope that this blog was useful to you. Let me know your thoughts on it, and if you need a bit more help with goal setting and focus feel free to reach out and we can work together to see what possible steps you can take next. My coaching program can help you deprogram limiting thoughts and beliefs and redirect your focus and energy to a more desired outcome.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep glowing…

The Power of A Dream

Hey Boo!

Some time ago, I spoke to a Youth Leadership Group at a conference, and I was deeply inspired listening to the dreams that the teenagers had for the future. While I was presenting, I felt the group of teens begin to realize that it is ok to dream and be proud of what you have done in your life, and where you want to go in life.

As adults, we need to realize that the power of a dream will enable you to achieve whatever your ultimate “WHY” in life is. By the age of 35, most people lose all of their dreams and fall into a rut. From the age of 25-65, people generally go back and forth to work and say to themselves,” I wish…if only I could have…if only I knew then what I know now,” and numerous other lamentations expressing that they do not feel fulfilled in life. The key in life tofeeling fulfilled is to simply listen to your inner spirit and make your daily work in life something that you love to do and will help you achieve your dreams.

The key word in that sentence is dreams! Too many people when asked, “Where do you see yourself 2-5 years from now” give the answer, “Just let me make it through the weekend.” The underlying reason that they don’t know where they are going to be is because they have no dreams. This can be extremely frightening! Most of the teenagers that I spoke to at the conference had dreams for their life and where they see themselves in the future. As a life coach, my ultimate goal is to empower people to find their WHY in life — to catapult them to attain their dreams.

I also spoke to the group about how important it is to be around a mastermind team, which will push you on and let you know it is awesome that you have a dream. As an overall population, the majority of adults (somewhere around 95%) have no mastermind team or solid support system. They do, however, have a group of so-called friends who will tell every reason why they should never try to win and to just accept their life. But do you really want to concede to a life of mediocrity? Of course not! You need to stop right now and take a personal inventory of your life and ask yourself three life-changing questions:

1) WHAT is my WHY in life? (Why am I getting up each and every day?)

2) WHO is my Mastermind Team?

3) WHERE do I see myself 2-5 years from now?

When you answer these questions you need to be tell yourself the truth because the truth shall set you FREE! The key to living a fulfilled life is waking up each day with a driving desire to achieve your “WHY”. The key to winning in life is to be part of a winning team and realize life decisions are challenging but very beneficial. Bring your Dreams back to life!

Until next time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

Know what You Want and Make it Happen!

Hey Boo!

How is your life and/or your business doing? Is it stagnating, boring, going nowhere? Have you become obsessed with meeting those loan repayments or trying to just survive until the next direct deposit hits? Are you having trouble maintaining your positive expectancy about life and/or business?

The way to live satisfying lives is to simply dream up the things that we want to do and then make them happen. A simple statement but so few of us can put it into practice! But we can put it into practice if we take these steps! First, find yourself a quiet, comfortable location where you will be free from disturbances. Ensure that you have paper and pen handy so that you can jot down a few notes. Here we go!

Brainstorm Ideas

For the next ten to fifteen minutes, write down all the things you’d like to do. A few rules for this exercise are in order- don’t evaluate as you write! For example, if you’d like to go overseas on vacation for twelve months – don’t stop and think whether you can afford it. Just write it down. Evaluation can occur later. At this stage, write down all the things that you’d like to do assuming there was nothing that you couldn’t do.

Prioritize Ideas

When you have finished brainstorming, you will have a list of the things you would like to do. Your next step is to review your list and sort it into priority order. Again, do not evaluate any of these items while you are ranking them. Number the items from things you want most to least.

Evaluation

Now, look at the top three items on your list and ask yourself the question: “What is stopping me from doing these things? It will help to clarify things if you write down these reasons. For example, if your number one choice is to go overseas for twelve months, your reasons for not being able to do so could be: can’t afford it, can’t leave my business unattended, or who’s going to look after the kids?.

Create an Action Plan

Your final step in this process is to put your plan into action – and do it now! Don’t wait for a more opportune time – the best time is always NOW!

But don’t let your big plans stop you from doing some of your smaller plans now. Pick a couple of activities you can do within the next month that won’t cost you money and get to it!! You will feel like a different person for having done so.

If you’d like some help and support in this area, contact me for a free consultation to see if my new 6 week program is for you. The Inner Glow Mini program focuses on mental clarity, time management, and goal setting. Thank you so much for reading my thoughts. I appreciate your time.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Stop Waiting on Your Life!

Time is of the Essence, is it not?

Hello Beautiful Souls!

This week I was sitting on the phone with tech support, and over and over again, I thought of things I could have done while I sat there – just waiting. In the past I’d done that- just waited for things to happen instead of taking action to get what I wanted. I used to wait for support, validation, perfection, ‘the right timing’, and sometimes even permission to do things until I realized that I was putting my entire life on hold. What about you?

Are you “on hold” in your life?

Are you waiting for a spouse to come along, waiting on the motivation to get your home organized, waiting on a great job to fall into your lap, waiting to win the lottery so that you could plan your retirement? Stop waiting on your life! The only difference between you and the people who are getting what they want, is that they kept moving and you didn’t. They are not better, stronger, more favored, or more deserving than you are. You just need to get back to it! Here are some ideas to help get you started again.

Focus on the who, not the what

If you find that you’ve been stuck on a goal for a while, try restarting it in “who am I” terms instead of “what I want” terms. For example, instead of saying “I want to lose 30 lbs.”, say “I am someone who takes care of herself by keeping my weight around XXX which is a healthy range for my height and age.” Be as specific as possible. Notice that ‘I want to be someone who helps others’ could mean anything from a clerk in the grocery store to a heart surgeon. Focus on who you want to be. Then ask yourself what actions would fit with your desire “to be” instead of “to get”.

Analyze it

Did you know that a full 80% of your problems come from 20% of your life? It’s true! Determine what that 20% is that’s affecting so much of your life, and start working to make it happier, more efficient, more satisfying.

Assign Value

A big mistake I see in my coaching clients is not assigning a true value to your time, to your energy, to your money, and to your “real estate” (your home or office). Realize that for each thing you say yes to, you have said no to something else. For example: if I say ‘yes’ to listening to my friend gossip about her co-workers for an hour and a half, then I am saying ‘no’ completing my blog or having a coaching session.

Always ask yourself – is this valuable enough to me to crowd my life with, or sacrifice something that I truly want or need?

If you aren’t sure of anything, be sure of this beautiful soul, that you are capable of whatever changes in life you want to make. Stop waiting for change and take action to effect change in your life!

Until Next time, keep Glowing…

Start with a Baseline

Want to Make some Changes but Aren’t sure Where to Start?

Making changes in your life is great and it is the way we grow and develop as people. Change is a constant process and part of being human. When you embark on changing anything in your life, start from where you are. Until you know where that is it would be difficult to effectively make the change. You have to start with a baseline.

Starting with a baseline is about figuring out where you are and what you are doing so that you know exactly what needs to be changed. It may sound odd, but many of us are unaware of what we do. When my clients tell me they want to lose weight the first thing I do is have them keep a food journal for a week just to get a baseline. The next week they share how shocked they were to see not only how much they were eating, but also what they were eating. Many of us are on autopilot and we simply are not aware of what we are doing. When you track it – and this works with anything – you have a real picture of where you are and what needs to change.

I read a statistic once that said most people consistently spend about 10% more than they make. I believe that is true, and it is because what is being spent, especially on a credit card, is not tracked. I once had a client that just didn’t have enough time to accomplish everything she needed to do. When she tracked her time for a week she was made painfully aware that she was spending hours in front of the television. The first step in change is awareness. You have to become aware of what you are doing and exactly where you are before you can proceed forward. Keeping track for a week or two will provide you with valuable information that will support your efforts to change.

Before you embark on any type of change effort you have to know where you are. I liken it to those travel maps that have an X printed next to “You are here.” Until you are aware of exactly where you are – and many of us don’t have a clue – it will be impossible to make the needed change.

The first step in your change effort is to determine where you are. Keep a log for a week or two. This will give you a realistic idea of what you are doing. You can track anything from how much money you spend to how many hours of sleep you get. Once you know the truth about where you are you can proceed.

My coaching program, although primarily focused on narcissistic abuse recovery does provide information and methods to help with focus, time management, goal setting, and accountability.

That’s all I have for this week. Until Next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing!