Coaching Blog:

Out of The Quicksand

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I wanted to talk to you a bit about some things that I’ve been thinking about lately. I’ve been really busy over the last few weeks. I’ve been making it a point to work hard, maximize my time, and ‘apply pressure’ and sometimes, quite frankly I feel like the only one feeling the pressure is me. I get locked in. I become overly focused, and so intense that I wear myself down. Sometimes I feel stuck. Almost as if I’m caught in quicksand. If you sometimes feel as though you’re caught in life’s quicksand, you have a lot of company. We work, we struggle, we try to do everything we possibly can to move on to a higher level of well-being but it seems like the harder we work, the more stuck we get. If you’re approaching a Category 5 frustration level, you might want to give this a try…

Switch your focus from that really nice – but frustrated – person in the mirror to another beautiful soul who inhabits this good earth.

Self-love and self-care is a must, and focus is absolutely necessary. We need to set goals, lay out plans and then take action on those plans to make progress toward our goals. We need to demonstrate personal financial responsibility, plan for retirement and frequently cover our backsides so that they don’t get chewed off by one or more of life’s rodents.

However, what frequently happens is that we become so over-focused on ourselves and our own personal well-being that we wind up building huge walls. We lose the ability – or even desire – to see the bigger picture and the possibilities that life presents to us. We become so focused on “me” that we sometimes begin scrutinizing even the most insignificant events to determine their potential impact on our personal lives. We become victims to ourselves. And to be real honest about it, we sometimes just become so busy being busy that we lose track of where we thought we wanted our lives to wind up in the first place.

One possible solution as I mentioned earlier is to change our focus from “me” to “we”. From being the receiver to being the giver. And no, I’m not even implying that this requires any major change in the things we do every day. It may eventually lead to that but it’s not a critical part of the initial process.

Here’s what I mean. No matter what you do to earn a living or keep the household moving in a logical direction, somewhere down the line a real person will probably benefit from what you do. Think about it. The work we do is not just to stuff computer systems full of information or help machines work better. It’s not just to take people’s money so we’ll have a paycheck at the end of the week. It’s not just filling out forms, nailing pieces of boards together, assembling electronic devices, hauling packages, going to meetings, etc. Somewhere, sometime (and maybe immediately) another human being will likely be positively affected by what you do.

And yes, if you’re paying attention, you’ve noticed that I’ve used a couple of cop-out words in the preceding paragraph – “likely” and “probably”. I had to do that because in the real world there are some individuals whose money-making efforts are focused mainly on “non-beneficial” activities. That’s just the way the world is.

For the rest of us however, our activities and work generally reflect a more positive endeavor. That leads us back to the original suggestion. If you are caught in the quicksand, take a few minutes to really think about the people – the individuals who will be better off, healthier or happier because of what you do, and because of who you are. Think about how you are giving of your time and talents so that others will profit in some way from your efforts.

Do you see what can happen here? When we change our focus from “me” to “we”, our work – the things we do every day – starts taking on a new significance. We become givers. Our life is beautiful and meaningful. We know that what we do is truly important to someone else. That’s pretty awesome, isn’t it?

If you’re having to really stretch your imagination to see at least one other person benefiting from the things you do and it’s really not fitting together, you might consider looking into a different occupation – or at least a different way to spend your free time. There are a bunch of people who could really benefit from your talents. Think about what you do well – what you enjoy doing that could help others have a better life. Then go do it. You’ll be out of the quicksand before you know it.

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls

Coaching Blog: 3 Tips For Managing Your Life

Tips for Managing Your Life

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Hopefully, it wasn’t the ‘New Years Bug’ and you’re still focused on self-improvement and maximizing your life. For all my goal getters who are ready to absolutely glow this year, I’ve got some tips to help you stay focused and achieve your goals. In order to improve the condition of our lives, we must first prioritize. So, consider this:

What Areas Need the Most Work?

Watching a reality TV show may be more entertaining than cleaning the green film off the shower stall, but it won’t keep your home from becoming a biohazard. Establishing and sticking to priorities will help you spend less time worrying about what needs to be done and more time accomplishing your goals. Consider using Sunday evenings, when you normally mourn the end of the weekend, to go over weekly goals and priorities. This is a great way to stay focused on what you want to accomplish without getting ahead of yourself.

Cut Out the Junk

If you’re like most people, you keep possessions well beyond their usefulness. When neighbors begin mistaking your garage for abstract art, you have a problem. (Ever seen the show Hoarders? Yikes!) Consider selling old appliances, clothing and furniture that add clutter to your life. You could try a yard sale, use Web sites such as eBay and Craigslist to sell secondhand goods, or maybe even donate them to non-profit organizations such as salvation army and goodwill. This could help you clear space as well as help someone get some discounted good. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure ya know? And maybe one day you may even be able to park your car in the garage again!

Give Someone Else a Spot

Pledging to be more active in your community is an important goal. Not only is it fulfilling to do something positive for someone else, it also instills a sense of togetherness and pride in regards to your community and neighborhood. Plus, the positive energy you put out has a way of finding you again. And at the most perfect times too!

Instead of shying away from volunteer opportunities, make a point to reserve one day a month for charities or functions. Nonprofit organizations are flexible when it comes to working with volunteers.

None of these tips will take effect if you don’t implement them into your daily routine. Be sure to stay consistent! It only takes a couple days of procrastination before you’re smothered by daily tasks and confused about what to do next. You will change your habits only by being proactive and setting constant reminders. Remember, Rome was not built in a day. By being patient with your progress and approaching your goals sooner than later, you may have some great accomplishments to celebrate.

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls

Coaching Blog: All in Your Mind!

Are you currently struggling to reach your objectives? Do you have everything in life that you desire? Is it easy for you to reach your goals after every success? Are you always calm and patient? Or are you frustrated, angry and disappointed at your lack of progress in life? If you are not living the life you wish to live, the is a solution. And the solution lies in your mind!

Your mind has two parts, the conscious thinking logical part and the unconscious part. Your conscious mind is that part of your mind you are using right now to read and analyze these words. However, it is the subconscious part of your mind that is interpreting the symbols on the page and telling you what they represent. This part of your mind is more powerful than you can imagine and can help you in ways that seem miraculous at times.

Everything that has ever occurred in your life is stored somewhere in the subconscious part of your mind. It is literally an unlimited warehouse for memories and emotions. This is an extremely important aspect of the subconscious mind. You need to have instant access to this stored information so that you can find your way home, remember names and faces, how to do your job etc. And while that is very convenient and useful, the subconscious mind does have major disadvantages!

Not only does your subconscious mind store valuable information, it also stores essential emotions. The subconscious stores the emotion of pain and fear connected to certain activities that you’ve done in the past, such as the unpleasant feeling at the dentist, or scorching yourself with fire. When you find yourself getting too close to fire and feel the heat on your skin your subconscious mind will immediately alert you with a feeling of fear. This mechanism is designed to keep you safe and works very effectively. It also works to your advantage by replaying positive emotions connected to certain situations – think of a time when you caught a glimpse of your spouse or child, heard a piece of music or smelt some perfume or aftershave and were immediately reminded of an earlier time that evoked strong loving emotions.

Therefore, we can view your subconscious mind as acting, in its simplest role, as a recording and playback mechanism – a bit like a fully interactive video recorder. The things that occur to you in your life are recorded and then played back when you access those memories. The problem that often arises though is when incorrect or inappropriate emotional memories are accessed by the subconscious mind when you find yourself in new situations. If your subconscious mind has been “programmed” with negative emotions or a negative self-image then these are the things it will play back to you when you try something new or reach out past your comfort zone.

So, how do we fix that? We reprogram our minds to show different images! Research, visualize, rehearse, adopt. We must research our goals so that we can replace our doubts with comforting facts. Researching provides knowledge and can lead to a solid plan to begin making our dreams a reality. Visualize yourself doing the things you’ve always dreamed of doing. Being able to visualize ourselves carrying out the tasks makes the goal more attainable. Goals are birth in our minds before they manifest in reality. And now, we rehearse. We can write or script our ideal lives and repeat the visualization process as we take the steps to live the life we really want. The more we rehearse, the more vividly the goal becomes. Then we adopt a new mindset. We must begin to embody that which we want to become. Thinking, speaking, and behaving the way that we must behave to truly become who we are meant to be.

Your dream life is possible, boo! It’s all in your mind.

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls!

Breaking Agreements

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I was saying my affirmations early one morning (I couldn’t sleep) and I came across one of the affirmations that I’d created based on the book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is a great book. If you haven’t read it, I think you should.

The affirmation that I was referring to is ‘I break all agreements that do not resonate with my calling or soul purpose.’ An agreement is a limiting belief that you have accepted as the truth. These agreements in many cases, prevent us from accomplishing our dreams and deepest desires. (For Example: I really want to be a singer, but I only have a one in a billion chance.)

An agreement can be made by accepting negative thoughts or statements as the truth. They could be your own negative thoughts based on unpleasurable experiences, or statements made by others. When these agreements are made, they continue to work against us subconsciously until they are broken. And as we go through life we pick up more and more agreements. All of these agreements that we collect as we go through life- from parents, teachers, coaches, classmates, relatives, churches, etc. The culmination of agreements over time can be quite paralyzing. If you’d like to break these agreements, follow these steps now!

Identify The Agreement

Whether the agreement is ‘I’ve always been clumsy’ because you remember falling down when you were four, or ‘you’ve never been as smart as the other kids’ from teachers or parents, this agreement can be broken. Ask yourself what limiting beliefs or agreements have your made that limit your success or hinder your happiness.

Once you’ve identified the agreement (or agreements) that you’ve accepted, go back in your mind to the route of it all. Get as close as you can to the origin of this feeling or agreement. Once you’ve found the earliest memory of this agreement, go to the next step.

Break it Down

When breaking down an agreement, be as thorough and as honest as you can.

Ask yourself questions like:

*Is there any truth to this agreement? (Per our example) Are you really clumsy? Or were you distracted by something that caused you to lose your balance and fall?

*Is this agreement still relevant? Sometimes we carry complexes and agreements that we created during childhood. (For example: developing a fear of public speaking because you had a lisp when you were eight years old.)

In most cases, the agreement is untrue. In the cases where there is truth to the agreement, there is surely a solution to it. Break down the situation in your mind and realize that there is always room for growth and you are not bound by your past or by the beliefs of others.

If you asked yourself the above questions, and feel that there may be some validity to the agreements that you wish to break, ask yourself this question:

Can the situation be remedied?

Is it possible that you could be more careful in the future and thus, ‘not be clumsy’ anymore? Look to see if there are classes that you can take, or research that you could do to educate yourself about the limiting belief/agreement that you’ve made.

Journal and Affirm

Once you’ve identified the agreement and applied the applicable steps, journal about it. Write as much as you need to about the agreement. What it is, how it makes you feel, whether or not it’s valid, and the steps that you are taking to improve yourself.

Break the Agreement by saying aloud: “I break the agreement of____________________________ . This no longer has any influence over my life.” Say the affirmation as often as you need, so that you believe it and program your mind to release that harmful belief.

You can also research or create affirmations to encourage new agreements that you’d like to place in your life instead.

Never underestimate the power of your mind! You can do anything you set your mind to do!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls

Enhance Your Growth

Hello Beautiful souls!

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel less than great. Low, grouchy, unmotivated, and disengaged are all words you could use to describe what I’m like on those days and I’m probably not the best company. The thing is days like those are part of the deal with being human – it’s not an elective. There will be off days, and that’s okay.

But what happens when you get a whole string of those off-days, maybe lasting weeks, months or even years? Too many of us say that we’re in a rut, feel stuck, fed-up, or bored and admit that we don’t want things to be that way, but we don’t know what to do to change. That’s the problem, when you’re in a rut, you don’t have the energy or motivation to change things for the better, and it’s tough to find the insight or resources you need to make that jump.

Here are five fun and easy ways you can use right now to climb, or better yet, leap, out of the rut and start to get something better for yourself.

1. Do Something Differently

Life tends to run smoothly when we establish systems and routines for things, but the problem comes when things run too smoothly and we become blinded to any ideas or choices that sit outside of our routine. All the stuff we do every day becomes the norm, running on auto-pilot, and it becomes our whole world.

Start with making one or two simple changes to your day – be it at breakfast time, your radio station, gym routine, route to work, lunch routine, etc. Don’t worry about what the changes are or whether they’re right or wrong, just make a couple of simple choices that will serve you well.

Doing something differently or changing parts of your routine, instantly takes you out of the norm and allows you to shake off the things that make you feel confined. Step out of your routine and you’ll be in a position where you’re able to make different choices, see things differently and get a different result.

2. Use your Intuition

Your intuition is a powerful ally, and we all have it even though you might not recognize it. The dictionary says that intuition is:

1.a. The act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition.

1.b. Knowledge gained using this faculty; a perceptive insight.

2. A sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression.

One of the best friends you’ll ever have in life is your intuition and tuning into it and learning to trust it is something that can have some truly remarkable effects. Accessing your intuition is a bit like working and developing a muscle, but unfortunately it can be harder to locate than a bicep or quadricep, which tend to stay in the same place. Here are some quick tips for accessing and trusting it –

• Practice maintaining an open-minded, playful, experimental, non-judgmental attitude. This is the most fertile ground to tap into your intuition.

• Practice making wild guesses in your everyday life. Guess what a salesperson’s name is, what a new person or place will look like or who’s calling on the phone. Don’t worry about getting it wrong, you’re just working that muscle.

• Try a few simple observation exercises in your daily life. Whether you’re in a restaurant, on a train, in a bar, or out shopping, practice noticing non-verbal behavior in others. Look for shifts in posture, eye movements, vocal tone, or tempo, etc. Guess how they’re feeling or what they’re talking about.

Don’t feel bad if you’re “wrong’ at first. Remember that practice makes perfect. The more you exercise your intuition, the stronger it gets. I’d say that intuition and variety are great ways to grow. Wouldn’t you?

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls…

If you want to connect with me, here is the link for all of my platforms and content:

dot.cards/mimi_sums

10 Tips for Effective Time Management

Time Management

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Have you ever thought to yourself that there aren’t enough hours in the day, or felt overwhelmed at the tasks facing you? I know I absolutely have. And if you have as well, this blog can help you!

Clarify your goals and strategy

Be very clear about your aims and ambitions, both short and long term. Write them down. Once you know what you really want to achieve (and why) it’s easier to make decisions about what needs to be done, and to plan accordingly.

Focus on your top priorities

You’ll be more productive and profitable if you identify and focus on the areas most important to your business. Work on the fundamentals first. The Latin word ‘fundamentum’ means foundation – so take action, build strong foundations and the rest should follow.

Schedule time

Literally write an appointment in your work planner (you do have one of those, don’t you?) to set aside a realistic block of time for your priority actions. This reduces anxiety over not having enough time and keeps you focused.

Say no!

Consider Jim Rohn’s suggestion. “Learn how to say no. Don’t let your mouth overload your back.” Always check your schedule before committing to anything new. Don’t allow others to divert you from your objectives.

Create supportive systems

This includes systems for filing, management information and communication. Creating a system for the functions that you repeat most often enable you to complete the task more quickly and efficiently with practice. Create that system and then practice it!

Take a reality check

Will your current activity have a positive outcome, or are you doing it to avoid something else? Ask yourself – will doing this take me towards my goal? As Peter F Drucker observed “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

Delegate!

It’s tempting to do something yourself when you think you can do it faster and better. But consider the long term – delegation now will save time in the future, and if done appropriately can motivate your staff, boost their confidence, and help them develop their skills.

Repeat your success

Remember the last time you accomplished something that you major, or something that you may have doubted yourself about. What strategies and techniques did you employ that made you so effective and focused? Can you repeat them? Alternatively, imagine you are going away tomorrow, and work through today accordingly.

Balance your life

Formally schedule personal activities too, so you make time for family, friends, your health and fun because having a balanced life reduces stress and increases energy levels. Time management is really about life management!

End the day

At the end of the working day, tidy your work area, make notes about what needs to be done tomorrow, and prioritize those tasks. Shift your focus from what you didn’t finish today, to what you did accomplish. Now, put down that list, take a few deep breaths and leave those responsibilities at your work station. Part of good time management is knowing and appreciating each part of the day for the part it plays. Rest is just as important as productivity, so be sure to manage your resting time as well.

I do hope that these tips are useful to you. Please feel free to share your thoughts!

Personal Development E-Books Available For Purchase for Under $8!

Click my link and select the book or books you’d like:

Love Thyself

Awaken Your True Calling

Gain Mental Clarity

The Gratitude Plan

https://www.linktr.ee/mimi.sums

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls!

The Benefits of Authentic Self- Love

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I have been working on some really useful content, and I’m happy to announce that I have personal development e-books available for purchase on SamCart that can help you change your life. At the moment, I have four e-books available:

Awaken Your True Calling

Gain Mental Clarity

The Gratitude Plan

Love Thyself

This week, I’m going to talk about the benefits of authentic self-love and highlight some of the points in my self-love e-book entitled Love Thyself. Enjoy!

Self-Love is the ultimate way to boost your self-esteem and become a fully healed and integrated human being. But so many people misunderstand what self-love truly is and how important it is to own our happiness. Truth be told, there are many people who do not have authentic self-love.

What is Self-Love?

There are many levels and descriptions of self-love and it can get complicated the more people you ask. To put it simply, self-love is honesty and acceptance of yourself. Self-Love is being in love with the person you are still evaluating yourself and striving to improve. Love literally powers the world. If you don’t love yourself, then you do not have power over yourself.

Here are some self-love exercises to help you strengthen your sense of self:

Shift Your Thoughts

The waking and sleeping hours are a prime time to master your thoughts and emotions. As you drift off to sleep, shift your thoughts to something positive or pleasant. These states are more powerful and set the tone for the rest of the day and night.

Journal

Keeping a gratitude journal is perfect for appreciating who you are and all that you have accomplished. The more you focus on things to be grateful for, the more things to be grateful for come to mind. A grateful mindset elevates your sense of self because you now have a positive mindset, and a positive mindset raises your level of self-love and self-awareness.

Prioritize Yourself

This is something that I mention in The Evolution as well. This step is paramount in the journey of self-love and self-discovery. Put yourself first with vacations, massages, extreme sports, concerts- whatever it is that you want to do. Unplug from technology and remove yourself from your everyday concerns for a few days or a few hours. You deserve supreme enjoyment, and it is what you are here for. Sadly, most people think that life is supposed to be a painful chore and create stress for themselves. Do not do this to yourself.

Do Not Interfere

Stop interfering with others at all costs. Unsolicited advice or actions from outside sources are rarely received well. Although we may have good intentions, interfering in someone else’s life is imposing our will on them and it is not our place to do that. It is important to be mindful of the boundaries of others, just as others should be mindful of your boundaries.

There seems to be some sort of virus going around where people are trying to make the world a better place by pointing out everything that’s wrong with the world and the people in it. But this is counterproductive. We must focus on ourselves as individuals first. If you do not focus on your own self-development, you will stifle yourself and elevation won’t be possible. And then you may find others interfering in your life in a similar fashion.

Meditate on Love

Meditation on love or focusing on the heart chakra is a chief recommendation among ancient spiritual scriptures. The heart chakra is a doorway to the higher self. If you put your energy there for extended periods of time, you’re sure to feel a wonderful shift and rise to your vibrational frequency. Heart work can be challenging, but it’s worth it.

Well, those are some of the highlights from the e-book. If you’d like more tips and self-love help, go ahead and purchase my e-book entitled Love Thyself.

You’re definitely worth it!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls…

Stress Management Tips!

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Over the last few weeks, my family and I have gone through some stressful events. A close family friend passed, work slowed down, a door dasher dashed through our dining room wall, and there was a medical scare with my mother to name a few.

With all of this seemingly going on at once, I found myself really struggling to manage my stress levels. And then I went into some old notes of mine in a composition notebook. There was a page with an asterisk written in the top corner. The title said, “3 Quick Stress Busters”. I began to read what I had written. As I tried the methods that I had already written down, I thought of more stress relievers and tried them as well. My mood improved considerably!

And then I thought to myself: You have to share this information! And so, here it is!

Sleep More

Many of us have the tendency to sleep less when we are under stress. Sometimes, we are awake at night because our worry over life events causes us to feel restless. We sacrifice sleep, feverishly searching for a solution, when the answer may just be that we need more sleep. Experts recommend 6-8 hours of sleep per night. Sleep doesn’t just give rest to our bodies, but it also provides rejuvenation to our minds as well. While we sleep, our bodies not only rest, but they heal.

Get Organized

Sometimes our outer environment affects our inner environment and vice versa. Organizing your immediate area- your workspace, your bedroom, etc. not only clears space and provides a more comfortable and relaxing environment but it raises your vibration as well. I believe that clearing negative space around you clears negative space within you too. And that when that space is cleared it alleviates some of your stressful feelings as well.

Listen to Music

Music didn’t just soothe the savage beast. Music has been known for years as a very effective mood-altering tool. You want a romantic scene? Play a love song. Want to make it a real tearjerker? Play a sentimental pop song. Music is so effective because it carries frequencies. Some frequencies are high and some of them are low. The music with the higher vibrational frequencies will produce a more favorable reaction, while the music with the lower vibrational frequencies reap a more unfavorable response. This is why people say that certain songs ‘make them sad.’ The low frequencies in the music sparked an unfavorable emotional response in the person’s mind.

With music being powerful enough to evoke an emotion or a reaction, why not use music to your benefit? Play music with high or positive frequencies. Listen to your favorite song a few times in a row. Or you could even listen to sound bowls.

And what goes well with sound bowls?

Meditation

Of course, meditation! If you’ve read any of my blogs before in the past, you may have gathered that I’m quite a fan of meditation. Meditation is a great tool to calm yourself and gain clarity. When you slow your thoughts down, things are less hectic, and you are able to respond to stressful events with more ease.

Journaling

This is a hidden gem! Journaling. In my opinion, is a very underused stress management tool. Journaling, when used effectively with emotion monitoring can be the first line of defense against stress and anxiety. When you monitor your emotions, you pay more attention to your moods and energy shifts. Accessing your feelings regularly provides insights on the people, places, things, and situations that trigger you or result in feelings of stress and anxiety. After assessing the emotion, journal about it. Write about your feelings and what you believe caused those feelings. Is there any validity to the emotions that you’re experiencing? Are you able to release what you have written and move forward in peace? Writing out your feelings helps with releasing the stress that you feel while possibly brainstorming for a solution!

Find a Reason to Laugh!

While most of the other stress relieving tips chose a more direct and hands-on method, this method plays by its own rules. This is my favorite stress relieving method because I’m a goofy person and I love to laugh. I love making others laugh. The sound of laughter (whether it’s me or someone else) brings me joy.

When you find yourself feeling tense and your stress levels begin to rise, shift your thinking. Choose something else to focus your attention on. Think of your favorite movie, a funny memory, a random joke- anything that may make you laugh. It has been said that laughter is on the same sound frequency as healing. Is that why they say laughter is the best medicine?

Shut it Down

Technology is wonderful. There’s no doubt about it. It provides us with valuable and effective tools and connections that we otherwise wouldn’t have access to. Technology is how I get to communicate with all of you!

But sometimes, technology can be a double-edged sword. When we overindulge in technology, we can find ourselves overstimulated by news, social media, emails, and other noise. This noise makes it hard for us to settle down, unwind, to destress. To reduce stress and rest more easily, I suggest putting your phone down at least 30 minutes before bed.

Last, but not least:

Vacation, baby!

Maybe it’s just time to get away. Take some time for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a super expensive trip, and it doesn’t have to be an extensive amount of time. It could be a day at the beach, or an afternoon at the park. Just go to a place where you can be you. Detach from as many stressors as possible and enjoy yourself. You deserve it!

That’s all I have for now.

As always, these words were sent with good intentions, but I do apologize if my words caused you to feel anything other than inspired, empowered, or enlightened.

Until next time, beautiful souls!

Steps To Self Healing

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I have made some new strides and discoveries on my healing journey recently and wanted to share them with you. So, let’s cut through the fluff and get right to it, shall we?

Forgive Yourself

The first step on the healing journey is to forgive yourself. Realize that the things that you didn’t know or couldn’t control are not your fault and it’s unfair to you to continue to carry that emotional weight. Do not wait for others to apologize. Waiting for an apology only hinders the healing process, and they may never do so. You must move forward with or without an apology. Bad energy and emotional distress, when held long enough can manifest into physical ailments or psychological disorders. This, of course makes the healing process longer and more arduous.

Ask Yourself

Take a moment to focus on what exactly you want out of life moving forward. What will you do to make future situations more to your liking? Is the situation that caused you pain something that you can prevent or avoid moving forward? If not, is there a different way to handle the situation so that it isn’t damaging to you if it reoccurs? Another important question to ask yourself is: Is there a lesson that can be learned from the painful situation? Learning experiences often soften the blow of trauma and it would be beneficial to turn the pain into purpose.

Attention to Yourself

The only person that you can control in a situation is you. Pay attention to the way people, environments, and situations make you feel. If you feel like something is off- it probably is. No one else has to agree with you or feel what you feel. Pay attention to yourself, obey your intuition and remove yourself from the situation if that’s what you need to do. Monitoring your emotions is also a good way to self-heal because it places you in the position to do damage control early on and process negative emotions as they happen. This makes self-healing much easier and more efficient.

Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness can improve our thinking and raise our level of understanding. There are several ways to do this, by focusing on your breathing in a quiet place. This method most definitely works. I have done it at work many times when I didn’t have time to stop and meditate. Stop for a moment and take three deep breaths. I find that a five count works well. (Inhale: one, two, three, four, five. Exhale: one, two, three, four, five. Repeat)

My favorite way to practice mindfulness is meditation. I am personally a huge fan of meditation because it gives me a sense of calm when I feel sad, hurt, frustrated, or any other negative feelings and energies. Meditation clears the noise out of my head and I am able to think from a more elevated point of view.

In the near future, I will be posting guided meditations to assist with stress and anxiety, pain management, sleep, and a host of other topics. This will be available to my Patrons only, so subscribe if you’d like access to that!

Alone Time

Spending some time alone can bring joy and healing. Do something that you enjoy. It will ease your mind and raise your vibration considerably. My self-healing process involves writing, painting, listening to music, and/or dancing. Whatever takes you to a positive place- do that!

What are your methods of self-healing? I’d really like to know!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls

Confidence Boost Part 2

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I know that I already did a blog on confidence, but since confidence is one of the pillars of self-love (and an area that I struggled in immensely) I thought I’d share a few more tips with you. These tips, along with the tips from the previous confidence boosting blog have helped me rebuild my confidence after my experience with narcissistic abuse and codependency. For best results, implement as many of these tips as you can into your everyday life.

Don’t Worry about what Others Think

This step is often over complicated by societal norms, expectations, and agreements that we’ve made- whether knowingly or unknowingly- throughout our lives. But we must get out of our heads, get out of our own way, remove those constructs and do what’s best for us no matter what people think of our actions.

Always Consider:

That a person’s opinions are solely based on their own perceptions and understanding.

That you are valid with or without the positive opinions or support of others.

That this is your life, so:

Be Fearless

You are a unique being and this is a unique experience. You will only do this once. Each person on earth, whether they are aware of it or not, is on a mission for personal happiness and fulfillment. You are absolutely deserving of happiness; in fact, it is your right to be happy in this life. True happiness can only be achieved when you do the things that bring you joy. You become fearless when you do the things that please you without fear of judgment and open up to change and opportunities that help you grow and elevate.

Be Yourself

What better way to be confident is there than being yourself? A lot of discontent is caused and further exacerbated by people being who other people want them to be rather than who they really are. When you free yourself from the expectations of others and be yourself your happiness will skyrocket! But who are you really? To discover your true self, you will need to do some honest self-evaluation and reflection. Spend some time alone, get to know yourself inside and out. This is a sure way to know, understand, and love yourself authentically. Once you find the real you- you wouldn’t want to be anyone else!

Monitor Your Progress

Take the process one day at a time and be gentle with yourself when you fall short of your expectations. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Years of programming is not likely to fall away in a week or two. This process is not to be rushed. It takes time and consistent effort. Be aware of your emotions, energy shifts that you may feel, and things that trigger you. Trust yourself and do not ignore your intuition. These feelings work as a signal light to let you know that something needs to be fixed or adjusted. And don’t be afraid to call in reinforcements! Statistically, people are much more likely to complete a task when they create a plan or have an accountability partner.

I really help that these tips do you some good. I apply them to my life and they are doing great things for my confidence.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls!