How to Identify Limiting Beliefs

Hey Boo!

Have you ever made a statement like “I can’t afford that”, “I don’t have time”, or “I am not (insert limit here) enough”? Limiting beliefs are those that confine you and incorrectly define you.

Limiting beliefs are the lies or excuses we tell ourselves that ultimately prevent or delay our success. The majority of limiting beliefs are subconscious and started in childhood when rules and limits were imposed. As crucial as these rules and guidelines were for your safety or success in school, this is likely where you started developing limiting beliefs. These limiting beliefs can hold us back from living a whole life as adults. We still have rules to follow, but there are less and achievement is endless. While you do not have to adhere to the same standards and regulations as a child or young adult, that does not mean your mind has changed to know any better.

It is your responsibility to recognize and break down these limiting beliefs to accomplish all the impressive goals you have. This blog will show you how to identify your limiting beliefs and overcome them so you can achieve greater heights in life.

Identify Your Beliefs

There are a few ways to identify your limiting beliefs, and all require personal reflection. It may even be helpful to bring in a close friend or coworker to help identify your limiting beliefs through an open conversation. It can be challenging to identify limiting beliefs, but here are a couple of exercises you can do to help find them.

Make A List Of Your Own Beliefs.

Take time to write down any beliefs you hold that are important to you and influence your everyday life. Then, you can group these beliefs into different categories, like finances, family, relationships, and health. When you’ve done this, consider the ones that limit your growth and the ones that help.

Analyze Your Behavior

You can also assess your behavior to identify limiting beliefs. For example, consider situations where you have acted negatively or in unhealthy ways and why you behaved that way. Limiting beliefs may be the underlying cause of your toxic behavior if you examine it closely.

For instance, if you find it difficult to talk about money or a financial situation, you may possess the limiting belief that money or conflict is terrible, which makes having difficult but necessary conversations regarding budgeting, retirement, and general finances in life. Consequently, causing relational conflicts when money is involved, e.g., marriage and business.

It may also be an excellent time to bring in a trusted individual to help you identify your limiting beliefs during this analyzing process. For instance, watch where your inner dialog goes when someone compliments you. Is it gratitude or distrust? If it is distrust, there is most likely a limiting belief looming in the corner of your mind. Analyze that moment and see if you can figure out the limiting belief and what new, more positive belief or mantra can replace it.

Where Are You Repeatedly Challenged?

Think about times when you repeatedly struggle. Perhaps, you never have luck in romantic relationships, or you procrastinate consistently when a specific task needs to get done. These challenges may indicate a limiting belief. Whenever you write down an area of challenge, take note of which of your thoughts may be holding you back. In other words, if you’re constantly struggling to squeeze in a workout, find out what you think about health and wellness and how accessible it is for you. What is the limiting belief, the consistent excuse, or the lack of confidence preventing you from achieving this goal?

Applying Change to Break Down Barriers

To start letting go of limiting beliefs, we need to let go of certainty. As humans, we love stability, comfort, and certainty. However, certainty can also hold you back.(Think of certainty in this case as stagnancy or complacency.) It’s what prevents you from leaving unhealthy relationships, starting that business you want to have, traveling to that far away place that intrigues you, and keeps you from quitting that job you hate. Certainty can be a dream killer. Combining certainty with limited beliefs will keep you stuck in unhappiness and unfulfillment for a very long time. So let’s start with killing certainty and then change those limiting beliefs.

Once you understand that certainty needs to go, it’s time to start changing self-talk. More often than not, negative self-talk tells you why you can’t achieve your goals. Unfortunately, self-talk is constant, and we must switch out negative self-talk with positive, life-giving, empowering thoughts. Once you identify your limiting beliefs, choose a new empowering belief to replace them. Then, apply this new belief whenever you feel the only limiting belief creep up. Doing this will create a new habit of thought and slowly change your mindset and eliminate limiting beliefs over time.

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

9 Ways to Fight Your Fears

Hey Boo!

Fear gets to the best of us, whether it is fear of failure, fear of success or even fear of fear. All of us have experienced fear at some point in our lives and it can be a real stumbling block that holds us back from being truly successful.

Don’t let fear rob you of the life you desire. Conquer your fear and regain control! Here are 9 ways for you to do just that:

Separate Reality from Perception

Sometimes our fears aren’t legitimate, are worst-case scenarios, or are unlikely to happen. Ask yourself what is really going on, locate the facts and place them over your feelings.

Identify the Trigger

Figure out what it is in a situation that triggers you. Learning to identify it will help you learn to combat it.

Know where Fear Lives in Your Body

A lot of times, fear takes over physically. It affects different people different ways. Identify if/how it affects your physical body and do the work to take care of your body. Ex: if you hold stress in your back, you can learn stretches, foam rolling, etc. to avoid the pain.

Practice Gratitude

Everyday list 1-3 things you are thankful for. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, gratitude helps shift the mind into a positive light, which over time, diminishes fear.

Listen to Your Inner Voice

Monitor your inner dialogue. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Speak positively to yourself and remind yourself of your strengths. Negative self-talk increases self-doubt and in turn, fear.

Create a New Association

Remind yourself that the feeling and the moment will pass. Focus on the positive outcome of the situation, rather than the scary in-between.

Look at the Glass as “Half Full”

Perception is a very powerful thing, and how you feel about your situation dictates how you respond. So, think positively and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of success. This won’t happen overnight; practice with just one thought. What is one recurring negative/fearful thought you have? Work on reversing this one thought. Overtime, this will become a habit.

Practice Breathing Exercises

Breathing helps center your body. You can do a grounding exercise, or even just take 5 deep, long breaths at any point to calm and center yourself. It is best to start your day with this, but feel free to practice all day long.

Create a Safe Space

When you feel safe and secure, there is no room for fear. Find somewhere safe you can retreat to when ill feelings begin- whether this is a real place such as your bedroom, or a place in your mind such as the beach. This sense of comfort will soothe you and allow you to face your fear.

Try those strategies and see what works best for you. Start implementing these techniques into your life and don’t let fear hold you back from reaching your goals and your highest potential this year!

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

If You Can See It…

Hey Boo!

Have you ever heard that phrase, ‘if you can see it, you can be it?’ Well, it’s not just some cutesy little phrase, it’s an actual fact. If you can’t see yourself with a better job, you won’t get one. If you can’t see yourself leaving him or her, you won’t leave them. Ultimately, if you can’t see yourself doing better in life then you will not do better in life! Why? Because change happens in your mind before it changes in your environment. This is a lesson that I had to learn. I struggled doing better for myself because I struggled to see better for myself. Things began to change for me when I made that change in my mind.

So, how do you get that change to happen in your mind? There are a few necessary components. First, you have to have a clear idea of what you want. Take a moment right now and ask yourself- What do I truly want in this moment? Be honest. Don’t judge it. What is it that you truly want? Your first response is usually the correct one *Prince Akeem thinks so too* Go ahead and write down what you truly want in life right now.

After you’ve defined what you want, the next necessary component is to believe that you are worthy of it. Do you believe that you are worthy of the thing that you desire most in life? Do you believe it’s possible for you? Can you see yourself achieving that goal or acquiring that thing that you desire? If you don’t believe that you are worthy of what your heart desires, I will be sharing content on my social media to help you recognize your worth and remove that wound. It has been very helpful for me on my healing journey and I periodically return to the information as reinforcement. Knowing your worth can help you remove the nagging thoughts that prevent you from visualizing the life that you desire, thus pushing your dream life or goal further and further away.

Let’s bring the goal back into focus with a nice visualization technique. A great way to visualize is to close your eyes and think of something with as much detail as you can. Project it in front of you as if you’re watching a movie. What do you want? What does it look like? Look at it from different angles. Can you see yourself with it/in it/ with it? If it’s a house, how is it decorated? How do you look? Can you see the joy on your face? Feel the excitement? What about your friends or loved ones? Are they there celebrating you? The goal is to create as much detail in your mind as possible. Let go of worries. Let go of logic and really see yourself in that moment. Feels great doesn’t it?

…Unless you’re like I was and had a difficult time visualizing. Once I identified what I wanted and realized that I am truly worthy of it, I still struggled with seeing myself with it. The only things that I could see were the things that I remembered, and that was no good. They were just memories of things that I had in the past, and that wasn’t what I wanted for myself. I didn’t want my old life, I wanted my new one! But all I could picture was my old car and my old house because those were the nicest things that I had.

So, I created some new things to visualize by looking at house listings on the internet (preferably the ones with video) I placed myself in every room and inmagined myself walking through the beautiful homes and properties. AI photos have also been very helpful. It allowed me to look at myself in different places, with different looks and has helped me visualize and create a vibration lifting, emersive experience for myself.

Well, that’s all I have for this week Boo. Remember that the things that you desire in alignment are things that belong to you. They are waiting for you to come and claim them.

If you can see it, you can be it.

Until next time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

P.S. * The Prince Akeem line is a reference to the movie Coming to America. In this particular scene, Prince Akeem was talking to his love interest who didn’t know he was a prince and also had a boyfriend. She expressed doubts in continuing her relationship with superficial Daryl and then attempted to backtrack to which Akeem responded, ‘the first response is usually the correct one.’ (Meaning to say that her initial thoughts to end her relationship with Daryl were correct because Akeem was secretly in love with her.)

Okay, bye for real this time! lol

Make it Happen!

Hey Boo!

How is your life and/or your business doing? Is it stagnating, boring, going nowhere? Have you become obsessed with meeting those loan repayments or trying to just survive until the next fistful of money comes in? Are you having trouble maintaining your positive expectancy about life and/or business?

The way to live satisfying lives is to simply dream up the things that we want to do and then make them happen. A simple statement but so few of us can put it into practice! You can put it into practice if you take these steps. First, find yourself a quiet, comfortable location where you will be free from disturbances. Ensure that you have paper and pen handy as you will need to write some things down.

Brainstorm Ideas

For the next ten to fifteen minutes, write down all the things you’d like to do. A few rules for this exercise are in order- don’t evaluate as you write! For example, if you’d like to go overseas on vacation for twelve months – don’t stop and think whether you can afford it. Just write it down. Evaluation can occur later. At this stage, write down all the things that you’d like to do assuming there was nothing that you couldn’t do.

Prioritize Ideas

When you have finished brainstorming, you will have a list of the things you would like to do. Your next step is to review your list and sort it into priority order. Again, do not evaluate any of these items while you are ranking them. Number the items from things you want most to least.

Evaluation

Now, look at the top three items on your list and ask yourself the question: “What is stopping me from doing these things? It will help to clarify things if you write down these reasons. For example, if your number one choice is to go overseas for twelve months, your reasons for not being able to do so could be: can’t afford it, can’t leave my business unattended, or afraid I won’t like it when I get there.

Create an Action Plan

Your final step in this process is to put your plan into action – and do it now! Don’t wait for a more opportune time – the best time is always NOW!

However, don’t let your big plans stop you from doing some of your smaller plans now. Pick a couple of activities you can do within the next month that won’t cost you money. DO THEM! You will feel like a different person for having done so.

Until Next Time, Beautiful Soul keep Glowing…

8 Tips to Achieve Any Goal

Know exactly what you want

This may sound obvious but when asked “what do you want?” Many people struggle to clearly express their desires. Most people know that they want to be happy, but the descriptions typically don’t surpass vague visions of love or money. However, when asked about something that displeases us, we often go into vivid detail about it. That’s exactly how we should be regarding our goals. Remember the S.M.A.R.T. goals? The ‘S’ in the acronym represents specific. The more details, numbers, dates you can plan the better. You need a very clear focus of what you do want in order to receive it.

Write down your goals

This is one technique that separates the people who get things done from the people that are ‘getting around to it’. We are constantly reminded how important it is to write down our goals yet very few of us do it. According to research you are 95% more likely to achieve your goal if it is written down. So, that settles that. Let’s do it!

Believe

If you try and achieve a goal that you don’t truly believe in, your subconscious mind will not allow you to achieve it. You’ll only succeed in tearing yourself up inside. As Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe, it can achieve”. Take a moment to do some self-reflection. Do you really believe that your goal is possible to achieve? Do you feel worthy of it? Can you envision yourself achieving it? If you answered ‘No’ to any of those questions, there may be a guilt, self-doubt, or worthiness blockage that needs to be addressed. You must believe that your goal is possible for you to achieve!

Remind yourself constantly of the goal

The more you repeat it to your subconscious mind, the more it will be programmed in. There are a variety of techniques you can use including repeating affirmations or using subliminal software. If you spend a lot of time on your computer I recommend using software that flashes messages on your screen that only the subconscious can pick up.

Be passionate about your goal

You’re far more likely to achieve your goal if it excites you. Think about all the benefits to you once you have achieved your goal. Imagine how you would feel, how would your life be different.

Break it down into bite size chunks

If you have really big goals, this may be your most helpful tip. First, congratulations for taking up space and daring to go big! To go big in a way that’s sustainable, healthy and fits into your current life, you may need to break your goal down into smaller, intermediate goals. It makes it easier for you to believe it’s possible and it helps you organize yourself on a short, medium and long term. The ‘A’ in S.M.A.R.T. goals stands for achievable and there’s no use in setting goals that are unattainable.

Reward yourself along the way

Every Time you have some success make sure you reward yourself. It will help keep the desire and enthusiasm burning. It will also tell your subconscious mind you’re achieving your goals.

Stay Positive

Ultimately the only person who can stop you achieving your goals is YOU. Fear and self doubt are common enemies but are only created in your mind. You must also make sure that you are concentrating on what you do want, not what you don’t want.

Remember the only way you will fail is if you give up.

Until next time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing..

The Many Faces of Self-Sabotage

Hey Boo!

To close the subject of self-sabotage (for now, at least) I wanted to write this blog post revealing the many faces of it. If left unchecked, self-sabotage can exacerbate or cause anxiety, distorted thoughts, and awaken a harsh inner critic that hurls us into survival mode with its overthinking. It’s vital that we recognize the signs of self-sabotage so that we can adjust our behavior and redirect ourselves. Self-sabotage can show up in our lives in many ways: in our career, education, romantic partnerships, friendships and family dynamics, and even in our health. Here is the list of ways that self-sabotage can occur in each of these categories.

Self-Sabotage in Your Career

It’s not uncommon for self-sabotaging habits to show up most in our career, in fact according to the Self-Sabotage Workbook by The Daily Wellness, the career is the area that people who self-sabotage struggle with the most. Here are the nine signs of self-sabotage in your career to look out for:

Indecision. You struggle or hesitate to make decisions and choose behaviors that block you from achieving your goals. (This is likely due to overthinking or self-doubt)
Not Taking Risks. Taking calculated risks is essential for career growth, but if you’re afraid to take risks you may be missing out on great opportunities.
Not Staying Organized. If you can’t stay organized, you may miss important deadlines or forget to take care of tasks.
Not Being Proactive. Waiting for instructions or tasks to be handed to you is not the best way to get ahead. Initiative is needed to move forward.
Not Setting Goals. Without goals, you don’t have anything to strive for, and that can lead to complacency.
Refusing to Accept Constructive Criticism. If you’re not willing to listen to criticism and learn from it, you may be hindering your career progress.
Not Seeking Feedback. Not taking the time to get feedback from your peers or supervisors can keep you from understanding and improving your skills and performance.
Failing to Focus on Development. Investing in yourself through training and development is essential, especially if you want to move up in your field.
Seeking Comfort. You might stay in your career comfort zone due to fear of failure of uncertainty.

Self-Sabotage in Your Education

Education and schooling can highlight strengths and weaknesses, and future goals, which can often bring about self-sabotaging behaviors like professionalism and procrastination. Self-Sabotage in your education shows up in these eight ways:

Procrastinating. Putting off studying, completing assignments and other tasks that are essential for academic success.

Being Disorganized. Not having a plan for completing tasks or deadlines, or not keeping track of important dates and materials.

Lack of Focus. Not being able to concentrate on the task at hand and allowing distractions to get in the way of learning.

Not Asking For Help. Not seeking advice or assistance from teachers, tutors, or peers when needed.

Not Taking Breaks. Trying to cram too much studying in a short period of time, which can lead to burn-out.

Unrealistic Expectations. Setting goals that are too difficult to achieve or not allowing for any mistakes.

Not Taking Responsibility. Blaming others for mistakes or not taking ownership of a situation.

Not Making Healthy Choices. Not getting enough sleep eating unhealthy foods or engaging in other activities that can affect your ability to focus.

Self-Sabotage in Your Romantic Partnerships

Previous traumas, childhood relationships with your parents, and self-esteem are some of the biggest factors that can contribute to you self-sabotaging your romantic relationships. Here are 13 ways that self-sabotaging can affect romantic relationships:

Not communicating openly and honestly

Blaming the other person for your own issues

Resisting vulnerability

Putting up walls

Not being able to forgive

Having unrealistic expectations

Having a lack of trust

Making assumptions about the other person

Not respecting boundaries

Constantly seeking reassurance, validation, or approval

Using the silent treatment to punish the other person

Allowing outside influences to interfere in the relationship

Not taking the time to nurture the relationship

Self-Sabotage in Your Friendships/Family

Relationships with friends and family members are layered and complex. It can often bring about questions about your self-worth, self-esteem, having to practice boundaries, and unconscious behaviors you may not be aware of. There are nearly 20 ways to sabotage your relationship with family members or friends. Here they are:

Not making time for friends or not showing up when plans are made.

Making negative comments about others.

Being unreliable or not following through on promises.

Withholding compliments or downplaying another person’s successes.

Refusing to listen or hear out another person’s point of view.

Failing to be honest or keeping secrets from friends.

Jealousy or feeling threatened by another person’s successes.

Blaming others for one’s own mistakes.

Not being supportive of friends/family members during difficult times.

Gossiping or talking badly about other people or friends.

Comparing one’s friends to others or putting them down.

Not respecting boundaries or taking advantage of the friendship.

Ignoring or disrespecting a friend’s feelings.

Not apologizing when wrong or not taking responsibility for mistakes.

Not giving your friends the same attention as you give to others.

Being overly competitive or trying to one-up friends.

Making friends feel like they’re not important or not valued.

Not being honest about one’s feelings or intentions.

Not being flexible or open to compromise.

Not being present or engaged when spending time with friends or family members.

And last but certainly not least-

Self-Sabotage in Your Health

People often self-sabotage their health by having unhealthy habits and attitudes that can lead to physical and mental issues. Here are ten ways that we sabotage our physical health:

Eating a diet poor in nutrients

Not getting enough sleep

Not drinking enough water

Failing to exercise regularly

Not taking your medication

Drinking or smoking excessively

Neglecting your mental health

Excessive social media use

Engaging in dangerous activities

Not making time for hobbies or relaxation

Being aware of the many ways that we self-sabotage can help us avoid these tendencies or habits and adjust early on. As they say, prevention is better than treatment and the goal is to break the cycle of self sabotage and thrive on the greatest level of authenticity.

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

The Downward Spiral of Self-Sabotage

Hey Boo!

This week, we are talking about self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is the act of consciously or subconsciously undermining one’s own efforts or progress. Self-sabotage can appear in the form of procrastination-putting off tasks that are important to you or engaging in activities that are counterproductive. Self-sabotage could also be negative self-talk or self-defeating behaviors that prevent you from achieving your goals or reaching your fullest potential.

What drives self-sabotage? Fear. Generally, self-sabotage is driven by fear on some level. This underlying fear can contribute to procrastination and perfectionism, and before we know it, we are on a downward spiral. The procrastination and perfectionism caused by our fear increases anxiety which can lead us to think in the form of worst-case scenarios. Constantly thinking of worst-case scenarios causes distorted beliefs about ourselves and the world, which ignites our inner critic. The inner critic has such harsh inner dialogue that it often keeps us stifled, frozen, or running in place- avoiding important tasks or wasting time with insignificant ones. The more the harsh inner dialogue continues, the further we are driven into survival mode. In survival mode, the brain is constantly on the lookout for threats to your safety. This unconscious vigilance can drive you to hold on to old issues to protect you from physical or emotional damage. We cannot be abundant or reach our fullest potential in survival mode, so it’s very important to break to debilitating habit of self-sabotage.

The first step in breaking this habit is to become aware of it – to identify when and why you are engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. Once you have identified the behavior, it is important to understand the underlying causes or triggers for it. This may require exploring your thoughts and feelings in order to better understand why you are engaging in these behaviors.

Once you have identified the triggers, the next step is to replace the self-sabotaging behavior with more positive, productive behaviors. This could be anything from taking a break when you feel overwhelmed, engaging in positive self-talk, to scheduling regular breaks throughout your day.

Finally, it is important to be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion. Self-sabotage is often a defense mechanism, and it is important to remember that it is not a reflection of your worth or ability. It is possible to break the habit of self-sabotage and take the steps to make positive changes in your life. With this blog and the journaling prompts I hope to help you shed some light on your self-sabotage habits, learn how to recognize them, identify which areas of your life they show up most, and how to manage your habits by creating new ones.

Be sure to follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and/or TikTok (@mimi.sums) for more self-sabotaging and personal development content.

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

What’s in Your Coping Toolbox?

Hey Boo!

Life consistently presents us with challenges and changes and at times this can lead to us feeling stressed. Learning to cope with various life situations is the key to succeeding with stress rather than experiencing distress. This blog contains ideas for coping with stress and acute emotional crises. Here are some ideas for coping with stress:

Understand more about stress – this involves recognizing your sources of stress and how stress affects you personally. Plan for stressful periods.

Problem-solve – what is the problem, be specific and break it down into realistic achievable components. Then set goals on how to deal with each problem. Make sure you include how to begin your plan of action.

Develop new behavior – if you take on too much or have problems saying no, practice being more assertive. Learn to manage your time more effectively and delegate wherever possible! Avoid procrastination. Remind yourself that procrastination causes unneeded anxiety. Get the task done and out of the way so that you don’t’ have to worry about it later.

Make sure you develop a support network – deliberately develop good supportive relationships. Ask for help when needed and accept it when offered. You must also be prepared to do the same for others.

Make time to relax and enjoy yourself – how many of us know we should do more of this but don’t make the time? Set aside time each day to relax and build this into your routine. Develop hobbies and leisure activities that help you to switch off.

Ideas For Coping with Acute Emotional Distress

Use of distraction – the aim of this is to limit the time you spend in contact with the emotional stimuli, the things that are causing you to feel emotional. The stimuli could be anything from another person to the thoughts that you are having. Distraction involves doing something else to absorb your attention.

Imagery – think of safe and soothing images. This involves imagining images that make you feel good, it may be a favorite place, person, pet or scenes from nature.

Relaxation – learn a simple technique like using peripheral vision to induce relaxation. Peripheral vision is effective at switching on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system responsible for making us feel calm. It’s not possible to feel anxious or distressed while fully relaxed in peripheral vision.

Live in the moment – as adults we tend to spend much of our time stuck contemplating what went wrong in the past or what may go wrong in the future. Try and just focus on the ‘moment’. Perhaps this may involve thinking something like ‘I’m in my house in my favorite chair, I’m warm and comfortable and I have a good book to read’.

Exercise – physical activity can help to disperse the chemicals released in your body by the stress response. It also releases feel good chemicals known as endorphins.

Soothe yourself – do something to nurture your 5 senses. Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Until Next time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

10 Ways to Stay Calm in Stressful Situations

Hey Boo!

Anger is a natural emotion, but when anger becomes overwhelming or frequent, it can negatively affect your personal and professional life. Managing your anger effectively can lead to better relationships, improved health, and a more peaceful state of mind. Here are some tips to help you manage anger in a healthy and constructive way.

Recognize Your Triggers

The first step in managing anger is to become aware of what sets you off. Take note of the situations, people, and thoughts that tend to provoke anger. Once you’ve identified your triggers, you can prepare for them or avoid them altogether. If avoidance isn’t an option, work on a plan to remain calm when these triggers occur. (Try shifting your focus from the triggering aspects of the task or situation and instead focus on the urgency of the matter. Commit your attention to getting through the situation in the best way possible and then decompress as soon as you are able to.)

Take a Time Out

When you feel anger rising, give yourself a brief break. Step away from the situation to collect your thoughts and calm down. A five minute walk, deep breathing, or simply sitting quietly can help lower the intensity of your emotions and prevent you from saying or doing something you’ll regret.

Practice Deep Breathing

Speaking of deep breathing…Controlled breathing is a powerful tool for reducing anger. When you’re upset, your heart rate and breathing quicken. By taking slow, deep breaths, you can signal to your body that it’s time to relax. Try inhaling for a count of three, holding for three, and exhaling for another count of three. Repeat this until you feel your anger subsiding.

Use “I” Statements

When discussing what’s making you upset, avoid placing blame on others. Instead of saying “You never listen to me!” Try something like, “I feel frustrated because I don’t feel heard.” This shifts the focus to how you feel without attacking the other person, which can lead to a more productive conversation and resolution.

Engage in Physical Activity

Physical exercise is a great way to release built-up tension and manage anger. Whether it’s going for a run, hitting the gym, practicing yoga, or dancing, moving your body helps to reduce stress hormones and improve your mood. It also gives you time to reflect on what’s bothering you.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

Incorporating relaxation techniques like meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualization into your daily routine can make it easier to stay calm in stressful situations. These techniques help to reset your emotional response and prevent anger from building over time. (Other relaxation techniques include yoga, listening to calming music, aromatherapy, and taking a warm bath.)

Know When to Seek Help

If your anger is frequent or intense enough that it’s affecting your relationships, job, or overall wellbeing, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of your anger and teach you strategies to manage it more effectively.

Focus on Solutions, Not Problems

When something causes you to be upset, shift your focus to something positive rather than dwelling on the issue and how you feel about it. Ask yourself, “What can I do to resolve this?” By focusing on what you can control, you’ll feel more empowered and less overwhelmed by your emotions.

Keep a Journal

Writing about your anger can provide a safe outlet for expressing your feelings, Keeping a journal allows you to reflect on why you’re upset, recognize patterns in your anger, and come up with strategies to address those emotions more constructively in the future.

Use Humor to Defuse Tension

Humor can help reduce tension and make it easier to see the situation from a different perspective. While it’s important to avoid sarcasm or mocking, light humor can sometimes diffuse a tense moment and help you relax. Laughter is a great way to lighten the emotional load.

*Remember to proceed with caution while using this tip. It’s important to not make light of another person’s anger, so make sure you read the room before using humor.

Anger doesn’t have to control your life. By practicing these anger management tips, you’ll be able to handle stressful situations with more patience and clarity. Remember, it’s not about suppressing your anger but learning how to express it in a way that’s healthy and productive.

Do you have any tips for managing anger that work for you? Please share them!

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

The Secret to Making Lasting Changes

Hey Boo!

Think you can’t change? Many of us already know that we need to improve our state of well-being in order to extend our lives as we age. Making changes is traditionally difficult, but the good news is that it’s never too late to make changes for the better. The first step is to understand what’s important to you, and then determine the choices and decisions that represent where you want to be. Maybe you want to start a new career, lose weight, stop smoking or start exercising. Whatever the change is, be sure you understand why you want to make the change.

Take a moment to think about a time in your life when you made a successful change or developed a new habit. What was your motivation for the change? What was your attitude at the time? What obstacles or barriers did you have to overcome? Your level of readiness to change will determine how successful you are, and how much time it will take. Once you make the decision to change, you must practice that new behavior one day at a time until it becomes a habit – a lasting change.

Embracing the concept of change is a big thing, because interestingly, many people think they don’t have a choice when it comes to change. But why is that? For some it’s fear, guilt, love, pain, time management, or even tradition. What motivates one person may not be the same thing that gets another person to act. Everyone reacts differently to changes, whether voluntary or mandatory.

To start making a change, let go of certain assumptions or ways of doing things, to make room for new ideas. Work on this one day at a time until you feel comfortable.

To make a lasting change, you start wherever you are and stretch a tiny bit more each time. If you fall off the wagon, or experience resistance, identify the cause or circumstances— who you were with, where you were, or your emotional state. The key is to get up and get back on the path again. You may go forward and backward a few times because making a lasting change is challenging and takes consistency and trial and error. Your level of readiness to change will determine how successful you are, and how much time it will take. But you need to be ready, able and willing to make change happen.

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…