The Glow Up!

How we can ALL level up this year…

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I know that I’ve been missing in action lately when it comes to the weekly blog, but I have some great news and plans of things to come from Glow with Mimi.

I have been (and still am) furthering my education for the sake of my own personal growth and continued healing, and for the benefit of my readers, followers, and future clients as well. I’ve recently added narcissistic abuse recovery to my growing arsenal and am becoming trauma informed so that I can be as helpful and impactful as possible.

Considering this new information, Glow with Mimi is going through some changes and making some improvements. Here are some things to look out for:

Added/Improved Coaching Programs:

Glow with Mimi’s signature 12 week program (The ‘Inner Glow’ Program) has had some modifications and additions to its material and two program variations were created as well.

Variation 1: Inner Glow Mini

Inner Glow Mini is a 6 week program that covers the core elements of recovery, clarity, and goal setting to get you back on track after an encounter with a narcissist.

Variation 2: Inner Glow Deluxe

Inner Glow Deluxe includes everything from the Inner Glow Complete program along with 3 free additional sessions, weekly accountability check-ins, and VIP listing for discounts of future Glow with Mimi events and/or courses.

There are also three workshops taking place this year.

Workshop #1: From Grieving to Glowing

Informative and empowering workshop discussing the effects of narcissistic abuse as well as some techniques and strategies to heal those effects.

Date: 2/24/2024 12:00pm MST

The effects of narcissistic abuse are anxiety, depression, PTSD (or c-ptsd), loss of self-worth, physical symptoms, inability to forgive yourself, cognitive problems, emotional lability, trust issues, self-destructive habits, people pleasing, and can have effects on the children involved as well. Each of these effects impact our lives and relationships, and even alters the way we think of ourselves.

This workshop could be instrumental to healing the damaging effects of narcissistic abuse so that you can regain your sense of self and start a new and beautiful chapter in your life where you are confident and in control of your life and your world is a stunning reflection of your own self-love and inner glow. Message me for details or register on Eventbrite. Tickets are currently available for 25% off!

*This workshop is not gender specific and is a safe place for all who desire to participate. Anyone being rude or otherwise inappropriate will be promptly removed from the workshop with no refund.

Workshop #2: Anger Management

Not everyone responds to abuse the same way. While the more predictable or expected response to abuse is a timid demeanor and people pleasing behavior, some victims do become angry. When anger is not addressed it gets bottled up and can become very harmful. This workshop will discuss ways to deal with excessive anger.

*This workshop is not gender specific and is a safe place for all who desire to participate. Anyone being rude or otherwise inappropriate will be promptly removed from the workshop with no refund.

Date: TBA

Workshop #3 Toxic Beliefs & People Pleasing

This workshop will be an encore to the workshop that took place in September 2023 and will discuss the damaging beliefs learned during a girl’s upbringing that make her easy prey for narcissists. People pleasing behavior also attracts narcissistic relationships, both romantic and platonic and prevents the people pleaser from being authentic and/or prioritizing themselves which in turn makes them unhappy, resentful, and unfulfilled. The toxic beliefs must be recognized and unlearned with new empowering beliefs being set in their place.

Date: TBA

I am really excited about all the changes that are taking place! That’s all the glow up info that I can share at this time. Follow me on Facebook ( Glow with Mimi / Michelle Sumling) or on Instagram (mimi.sums) to stay up to date with workshop dates, catch live mini sessions when they happen, and get notifications every time a new blog drops.

You can also join my private facebook group Resilient Brave Beings where thought provoking prompts and tips are shared. (I’ve got some great plans for the group too! 😊 )

Much love to you beautiful soul. Until next time, keep glowing…

Stop Waiting on Your Life!

Time is of the Essence, is it not?

Hello Beautiful Souls!

This week I was sitting on the phone with tech support, and over and over again, I thought of things I could have done while I sat there – just waiting. In the past I’d done that- just waited for things to happen instead of taking action to get what I wanted. I used to wait for support, validation, perfection, ‘the right timing’, and sometimes even permission to do things until I realized that I was putting my entire life on hold. What about you?

Are you “on hold” in your life?

Are you waiting for a spouse to come along, waiting on the motivation to get your home organized, waiting on a great job to fall into your lap, waiting to win the lottery so that you could plan your retirement? Stop waiting on your life! The only difference between you and the people who are getting what they want, is that they kept moving and you didn’t. They are not better, stronger, more favored, or more deserving than you are. You just need to get back to it! Here are some ideas to help get you started again.

Focus on the who, not the what

If you find that you’ve been stuck on a goal for a while, try restarting it in “who am I” terms instead of “what I want” terms. For example, instead of saying “I want to lose 30 lbs.”, say “I am someone who takes care of herself by keeping my weight around XXX which is a healthy range for my height and age.” Be as specific as possible. Notice that ‘I want to be someone who helps others’ could mean anything from a clerk in the grocery store to a heart surgeon. Focus on who you want to be. Then ask yourself what actions would fit with your desire “to be” instead of “to get”.

Analyze it

Did you know that a full 80% of your problems come from 20% of your life? It’s true! Determine what that 20% is that’s affecting so much of your life, and start working to make it happier, more efficient, more satisfying.

Assign Value

A big mistake I see in my coaching clients is not assigning a true value to your time, to your energy, to your money, and to your “real estate” (your home or office). Realize that for each thing you say yes to, you have said no to something else. For example: if I say ‘yes’ to listening to my friend gossip about her co-workers for an hour and a half, then I am saying ‘no’ completing my blog or having a coaching session.

Always ask yourself – is this valuable enough to me to crowd my life with, or sacrifice something that I truly want or need?

If you aren’t sure of anything, be sure of this beautiful soul, that you are capable of whatever changes in life you want to make. Stop waiting for change and take action to effect change in your life!

Until Next time, keep Glowing…

Start with a Baseline

Want to Make some Changes but Aren’t sure Where to Start?

Making changes in your life is great and it is the way we grow and develop as people. Change is a constant process and part of being human. When you embark on changing anything in your life, start from where you are. Until you know where that is it would be difficult to effectively make the change. You have to start with a baseline.

Starting with a baseline is about figuring out where you are and what you are doing so that you know exactly what needs to be changed. It may sound odd, but many of us are unaware of what we do. When my clients tell me they want to lose weight the first thing I do is have them keep a food journal for a week just to get a baseline. The next week they share how shocked they were to see not only how much they were eating, but also what they were eating. Many of us are on autopilot and we simply are not aware of what we are doing. When you track it – and this works with anything – you have a real picture of where you are and what needs to change.

I read a statistic once that said most people consistently spend about 10% more than they make. I believe that is true, and it is because what is being spent, especially on a credit card, is not tracked. I once had a client that just didn’t have enough time to accomplish everything she needed to do. When she tracked her time for a week she was made painfully aware that she was spending hours in front of the television. The first step in change is awareness. You have to become aware of what you are doing and exactly where you are before you can proceed forward. Keeping track for a week or two will provide you with valuable information that will support your efforts to change.

Before you embark on any type of change effort you have to know where you are. I liken it to those travel maps that have an X printed next to “You are here.” Until you are aware of exactly where you are – and many of us don’t have a clue – it will be impossible to make the needed change.

The first step in your change effort is to determine where you are. Keep a log for a week or two. This will give you a realistic idea of what you are doing. You can track anything from how much money you spend to how many hours of sleep you get. Once you know the truth about where you are you can proceed.

My coaching program, although primarily focused on narcissistic abuse recovery does provide information and methods to help with focus, time management, goal setting, and accountability.

That’s all I have for this week. Until Next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing!

T.I.M.E.

Some tips to manage your most precious resource.

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Today we are going to talk about one of the most precious resources in existence- time.

You have to give some to get some. The old adage is usually applied to money, but it is also true of time.

We are always pressed for time or seem to owe time to others, from our bosses to our families. Time is such a valuable commodity so we need to make sure that we use it carefully. Careful use of our time means one thing — time management.

The sad truth is that most of us who are really in need of time management rarely utilize it. However, spending time on this simple four-step plan named “TIME” can really make a difference in your day, your life, and your time!

T Is For Taking Time To Plan

Every minute spent on planning and organizing will save at least that amount of time when you implement your plan. Shopping trips taken without a list often result in wasted time, errands run without prior planning often mean wasted time, and tasks not properly organized often mean wasted time. We all know this is true and yet we still rush forward in our haste to get something done. Take time to plan and you will be more efficient.

I Is For Involving Others

Whether at work or at home, involving other crucial stake-holders in your planning and prioritizing can help you attend to the essentials and share the work. Others may have good ideas to help you achieve your goals and others may well spark even more ideas from you. Sometimes, simply talking things over with a sympathetic audience can help you think more clearly. Don’t forget to give others a share in the work as well as the planning.

M Is For Meditation

No matter how busy your life or hectic your schedule is, you must take time to reflect on your goals and dreams. Taking a few moments to clear your mind, focus your energy, and rebuild your strength can revitalize you and help you accomplish more when you swing back into action.

Allowing yourself this down time may well give you the opportunity to prioritize and brainstorm so you can be even more productive than before. Even if you don’t have brainstorms from taking this time out, it will definitely give you an energy boost.

E Is For Evaluation

It is important for you to regularly evaluate your priorities and goals. Perhaps you have accomplished tasks that can now be permanently crossed off your list or can be set aside until a later date. Perhaps you have achieved certain goals resulting in a change of other priorities. Perhaps you simply have learned something along the way that caused a number of shifts in your priorities and goals.

Evaluation can also give you a sense of accomplishment if you look back on what you have achieved and the goals you have reached.

Even if taking TIME for time management can seem wasteful, it is actually a process that pays for itself time and time again. Time management may cost you time for planning and organization but in the end it helps you gain time through efficiency and prioritization. The simple truth is that time management saves you time and can alleviate some of your stress.

Time management is important for us all, but it is especially important for people who have experienced narcissistic abuse and may be suffering from anxiety or cognitive issues such as brain fog or short term memory loss.

I do hope that these time management tips are useful to you. Please feel free to comment any additional tips you may have 😊

Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

The Effects of Narcissistic Abuse:

And How to Start Healing from it.

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I wanted to talk to you about the effects of narcissistic abuse both as a confirmation and as a road map. The confirmation is for the survivors of narcissistic abuse- to show them that they aren’t alone and help them understand the effects of the abuse they experienced so that they can take proactive steps towards treatment and healing. The road map is for the family members of narcissistic abuse survivors. It pinpoints the primary effects of narcissistic abuse so that family members and friends can be equipped with insight so that they may offer more thoughtful and knowledge support.

Here are the most common effects of narcissistic abuse:

Anxiety: After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you may experience extreme fear or anxiety in relationships with new people. Anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and hypervigilance may result as well.

Depression: Survivors of narcissistic abuse often struggle with feelings of worthlessness after being manipulated, gaslighted, and devalued over the course of the relationship. Because of this, some of the survivors self-isolate which makes the depression worse.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: The traumatic events that transpire during a narcissistic relationship can trigger a fight or flight response within you. Anything associated with the memories of abuse can trigger an anxiety attack. Many survivors develop hypervigilance because of narcissistic abuse. Many victims have repeated the sentiment that they ‘never knew’ what their abuser was going to do next.

Lost Sense of Self & Loss of Self Worth: Narcissistic abuse is a form of brainwashing and can destroy your sense of self-worth. The survivor of narcissistic abuse often feels as if they’ve lost themselves. They are no longer the person they were before the relationship began. They begin doubting and second guessing themselves and sometimes have trouble making decisions. This is likely due to being insulted, disregarded, and/or devalued by the narcissist.

Inability to Forgive Yourself: Victims of narcissistic abuse often feel guilt or shame after they are discarded. The mental and emotional manipulation may cause an ‘unworthy’ feeling whether the victim blames themselves for the narcissist’s behavior- believing that they aren’t worthy of love or that they would receive better treatment had they done things differently. In my case, the guilt and shame came from staying as long as I did. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I had allowed another person to treat me that way.

Physical Symptoms: Headaches, stomachaches, difficulty sleeping, nightmares, and body aches have been experienced by many victims of narcissistic abuse. I personally experienced headaches and difficulty sleeping during the marriage as well as shortly after discard.

Cognitive Problems: Memories of traumatic events are known to interfere with concentration and focus. The stress hormones released during narcissistic abuse can cause short term memory loss due to the damage to the hippocampus region of the brain.

Emotional Lability: This can very from mood swings and irritability to being emotionless. The effects of narcissistic abuse can make it challenging to regulate your emotions.

Stuck in a Cycle: This is one of the most dangerous effects in my opinion. Many people find themselves stuck in a cycle where they remain in communication with the abuser after the relationship is over. The connection is kept through various tactics such as threats, manipulation/pity attempts, or hoovering- when they attempt to suck you back into the relationship by love bombing and making promises they don’t intend to keep.

Being stuck in this cycle is dangerous because things often escalate and can become physical. If you are in a situation that is unsafe please get help as quickly and as quietly as you can.

Trust Issues: After experiencing narcissistic abuse your trust levels tend to be quite low. While this is quite understandable, it can hinder the success of future relationships, cause social anxiety, make you overly sensitive to criticism or judgment, and cause an insecure attachment.

People Pleasing: Narcissistic abuse is a perfect learning ground for people pleasing if you weren’t a people pleaser already. Most victims of abuse have grown accustomed to walking on eggshells, avoid confrontation, and may also struggle with expressing emotions or thoughts for fear of being judged. A person who doesn’t express their emotions is often disregarded while the narcissist places their emotions at the forefront for you to focus on.

Self-Destructive Habits: People who have been in relationships with narcissists often engage in self-destructive habits such as alcohol abuse, smoking, food or drug addiction, and overspending. Some believe that this is because the victim feels at fault for the narcissistic partner’s behavior toward them. I personally believe that this behavior may be the victim’s attempt to numb the pain of the abuse. In either case, it is highly encouraged that you find a coping mechanism that builds you up instead of tearing you down.

**How to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse**

Recognize and Accept Your Feelings

Feelings such as grief, depression, anger, and anxiety are completely normal feelings to have. Your feelings are valid and it’s important not to suppress your emotions and you should definitely not judge yourself for feeling them.

Educate Yourself

Learn about narcissistic traits and behaviors to more easily recognize when you are being manipulated, and self-check to unearth any internal programming or beliefs you may have for a narcissist to use against you. For more information on those internal programmings or toxic beliefs, you can check out my ebook on Amazon entitled Toxic Beliefs: The Beginning of Internal Destruction.

Join a Support Group

You may find it therapeutic to interact with others who understand exactly what you’re going through and can offer tips and advice to help you cope. You are more than welcome to join my growing facebook group Resilient Brave Beings for a safe space to ask questions and express your concerns.

Reach Out to a Therapist, Counselor, or Coach

A qualified professional can equip you with tools to cope with and heal from narcissistic abuse in a safe and nonjudgmental space. Sign up for my informative workshop where we will be discussing the effects of narcissistic abuse and some strategies to help your healing process.

Practice Self Care

When your self-esteem has taken a hit it’s easy to feel unmotivated and undeserving of good things. But you deserve the utmost love and care. Adequate sleep, healthy food, and engaging in activities that you enjoy are all heavily encouraged.

Narcissistic abuse can be a difficult thing to recover from, but with education, support, encouragement, and strategy healing is possible.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog this week. I do hope that it was helpful to you.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Don’t Zone Out!

Find Focus with a Theme.

Hello Beautiful souls!

What happened to the time? When we are busy in our day-to-day lives, it sometimes seems that whole seasons pass in a blink. And the goals we have…well, they can easily slip by in that blur too. You want to WAKE UP: to get control of your time and meet your goals. But how?

In coaching we sometimes talk about our lives being in process. That is, our lives are constantly flowing forward over and around the highs and lows of our everyday experience, like a river. As humans we often try to minimize those ups and downs: We plan for the future, we dwell on the past, and thus avoid experiencing the emotion at this present moment. As a result we dampen our aliveness and sort of zone out. No wonder we suddenly “wake up” to realize minutes, days, or even weeks, have passed us by!

Have you ever had the experience of driving a car only to find yourself suddenly at your destination? Where have you been? Not present, that’s for sure! But really, what does it mean to be present in your day-to-day life?

It’s quite challenging to focus all your attention on this moment. Try it: As you are reading these words, slow down. Experience the action of reading one word at a time. What sounds do you hear in the room around you? How comfortable are you? How are you breathing? Recognize that you are alive, right now, in this moment. What was that like for you?

Here’s another experiment. Go ahead and laugh – – but try this anyway. It may give you a whole new way to be in the moment: As you go through your day, ask yourself: Where’s my butt? On a chair? Against a wall? Walking past the consignment shop on Main Street? Crazy as it sounds; it is very difficult not to be present when you’re trying to figure out where your rump is!

OK! Now you’ve tried rump-awareness and have probably heard all kinds of other advice for becoming present in the moment – breathing, mindfulness, meditation, and so forth. Now broaden the concept: how can you stay present and focused for a project or goal in your life? Select a theme.

Here’s how it works: As an example, my theme for my business this year is “authenticity and inner glow.” This theme serves a filter. Each month, I review my business goals through the lens of my theme and prioritize those that will cause me to be the most authentic and give my clients the most inspiration. Being authentic best shows my inner glow and sets a good perimeter for my clients. Because I have to walk the walk myself before I talk the talk, right? When brainstorming projects to undertake, I look for those that best match my theme. Now that I’ve achieved more clarity and consistency in my business, I am ready to move forward and REALLY let my light shine! I will be pursuing platforms to draw attention to Toxic Beliefs, which is the cornerstone of my coaching program.

Toxic Beliefs are negative beliefs or programmings that many of us have experienced that place us in danger of being manipulated, mistreated or abused- whether emotionally, financially, sexually, or physically. I can’t prove it, but based on my experience as well as the experiences of my beta-testers, toxic beliefs that were incurred during childhood had affected the way we think and behave in many aspects of life. We all had three or more of the ten toxic beliefs and as a result we had all suffered from self-esteem issues, brain fog, and had been in toxic and/or narcissistic relationships.

My theme for the financial wing of my business is Action! Becoming a financial consultant was really a godsend, not only because I was financially illiterate, but because it has made me grow and come out of my comfort zone in so many ways. I went from being terrified of public speaking to doing live presentations! Not without some blunders and minor freak-outs, but I got there and am steadily improving. My Upyugo family is passionate about bringing financial literacy and financial freedom to the masses – we are on fire!

What is YOUR theme? It’s time for you to wake up and be on fire too!

Until next time, beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Tips to Relax & Regroup

Hello Beautiful Soul.

Are you one of those people who can’t seem to stop “doing?”

I have yet to meet anyone who hasn’t felt overwhelmed from time to time. Since it tends to feel uncomfortable, if not downright unpleasant, we tend to view it as negative and as a weakness. We don’t dare to admit we are overwhelmed or dare to talk about it, which can leave us feeling isolated and alone, further exacerbating the feeling. We often deny we are overwhelmed because we do not know how to stop the frenetic behavior that leads to this feeling. So we do nothing. Our employers, colleagues or friends often do not help support us to stop overworking.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Primarily, this syndrome occurs in our work life but it can carry over to our personal and family life, and it frequently does. Focusing on projects often begins with good intentions but we can quickly and easily be overwhelmed if we do not have a plan to minimize and balance our work. Getting the project finalized for your team, writing the copy for your website, designing the new sales brochure or completing the 90-day marketing plan are extremely important – but having a balanced, healthy life is equally important.

This stressful pattern is telling you to change your life! Once you get this message, it is easier to identify the steps you need to take to shift out of the behavior quickly.

Following are helpful strategies gleaned from my personal experience and from my work with co-workers and clients who are burned out, growing cranky, frustrated and even depressed. These strategies immediately diminish feelings of being overwhelmed so you can refocus and make some work/life balance decisions.

Stop what you are doing for a few minutes and take a break. Go for a short walk, sit outside under a tree, meditate, breathe deeply, go to a movie, call a friend to have coffee and share what is going on.

Get a piece of paper and make two columns. In one column, list urgent things you need to do this week. In the other column, list those projects that you can delegate, hire or barter to be done.

Eliminate, eliminate, eliminate. Unsubscribe to unnecessary e-mail, organize your desk and office to decrease clutter, stop attending meetings, get off committees and decrease volunteering at fundraisers unless you have a total passion for the organization and the cause.
Do not spend time with people whom you do not like. Assess your friends and business colleagues. Do they support and honor who you are? If they are negative and don’t share your vision for your dreams, don’t spend another minute with them. In a scenario where you can’t avoid the person (school, work) you must keep your interactions with the person to a minimum and practice stellar communication. Be cordial and focus on the task that needs to be completed, rather than the quarrel with your peer.

Decide what is most important in your life. If you want a balanced life, you will have to make changes in your life to allow this to happen. That takes some time and planning but it will be well worth the improvement in your life!

Take an action step today to make change in your life! Call a friend who will support you, take a class to get organized, or work with a coach who will support and motivate you to have a more balanced life.

Beautiful souls, that’s all I have for now. I hope this helped you. Let me know what you think. What was your key takeaway? Leave a Comment and let me know!

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Creating the Best Year of Your Life!

Self-Reflect Your Way to a Glow-Up

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I am so excited about this blog! This is something that I stumbled upon in my archives. (Oh yeah, I have loads of content for all my readers and followers, so hold on to your hats!!) And be sure to check out my website www.glowwithmimi.com for ebooks on financial and life coaching topics.

Oh! Where was I? Yes, Creating the best year of your life!

At the end of each year, and on their birthdays, many people take time to reflect and look ahead. If you’re one of these people, or if you would like to start getting the benefits from a little self-reflection, I have some great questions for you.

These questions can be looked at once a year, once a month or whenever you’re looking for some direction in your life. I invite you to take a good hard look at your life more than once a year. You’ll get a lot more out of your life if you’re more conscious about what you’re creating.

These questions have been designed to help you to take time to complete the year and to formulate the new year from a clean slate. By working on the following questions, you will complete this year powerfully so you can have the room to build a new “me” for the new year.

Looking at this past year:

1. What do I want to be acknowledged for?

2. What did I accomplish?

3. What did I want to accomplish that I did not accomplish? (Do I still want to do this?)

4. What did I say I would do that I didn’t do? (Do I still want to do this?)

5. Who do I need to be in communication with? 5a. Who do I need to cease communication with?

6. What were my biggest disappointments? 6a. Can those disappointments be avoided moving forward?

7. What did I learn? – List 3 lessons which will make the most difference if you remember them this year?

(See them as guidelines for next year).

Changing patterns:

1. How do you limit yourself and how can you transform these actions to be powerful?

2. What do you say to yourself to explain your failures? (These false beliefs are your limiting paradigm).

3. List your limiting paradigm.

4. List your new paradigm which must be personal, positive, present tense, powerfully and simply stated, pointing to an exciting future.

5. Read your new paradigm out loud when you awake and before going to sleep each day. Teach your subconscious that this is your paradigm.

Looking ahead:

1. What are your personal values? What is most important to you in your life? What drives you?

2. What roles do you play in your life? Rate each role on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the most important.

3. Where is your life out of balance? If you could put one problem behind you, once and for all, what would it be?

4. Which role is your major focus for next year? (In what role do you want a breakthrough performance? If you could put a check mark by one of these roles at the end of next year showing, showing that you felt good about how you are playing that role, which one would it be?)

5. What are your goals for each role?

The way that this works is that for at least a week or two you ask yourself the above questions. I write them down and do it in writing several different times. Then after doing that for all of the above questions you answer one final question:

What do I want to accomplish and who do I want to be in the coming year?

Wow! Awesome right? Write these questions down and answer them honestly. Not for anyone else, but for you. If you do this exercise and apply what you’ve written, you are well on your way to Creating the Best Year of Your Life!

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Intro: The Evolution

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I’ve been thinking about some things and realized that I had it all wrong. I had to deal with my perception of myself in order to get to this level of openness, but I believe that I’m finally there. I’ve been working on my book The Evolution for a while now. It’s been a slow journey. I procrastinated, I had writer’s block, I prioritized other tasks over writing this book and now I finally realize why.

I was afraid to be vulnerable. I was holding on to pieces of my old self that had long since proven useless. I was afraid of vulnerability because I have a big heart. I love openly, easily, freely, deeply- and often I’d loved the wrong people. Those people took my openness and vulnerability and used them as weapons against me. After being so deeply hurt, I became angry with and afraid of vulnerability. I learned how to help people, I got certifications, I had empathy and an eager heart and I was on my way. I began to use my platform to encourage people and it was gratifying but I still felt like something was missing.

What happened was that I was speaking sincerely, but wasn’t connecting with it emotionally because I didn’t want anyone to see or feel my vulnerability. I was giving advice without sharing my experience. It didn’t feel like me. I was still hiding.

But now, I have reached this level of understanding and clarity, this level of self-awareness that reminds me that it is my story, my emotion, my vulnerability, my voice that will impact people and help me reach them. I can only reach them as Me- not as anyone else.

So, with that I share with you the Introduction to my book that’s coming soon:

The Evolution.

I hope you enjoy it.

Introduction

Have you ever felt like you just weren’t good enough? If so, I want you to know that you aren’t alone. I’ve felt inadequate most of my life. I would be motivated and inspired to do well, and I’d have the best intentions, but when the rubber met the road-

Nothing.

I used to wonder what was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I just find my place in life? I had gathered a degree and multiple certificates, yet never worked in the fields in which I qualified.

I am certified and completely competent to be a life coach. But I didn’t own the title of life coach. I didn’t tell anyone that I was a life coach. Only the people closest to me even knew. I was on social media every day. Why wasn’t ‘Life Coach’ mentioned in my Instagram biography? Why wasn’t it mentioned anywhere? I have also self-published more than two books. Why didn’t I promote my own writings? Why did I not call myself an author? What did I even call myself?!

A conversation that I had with my sister one day caused me to ponder these things.

After some self-reflection, I realized why. It was imposter syndrome. I felt like a complete fraud! Who was I to give anyone life advice? I asked myself. My life was in shambles, and I didn’t believe in myself. How could I coach anyone into anything when I couldn’t even govern my own life?! These are the types of thoughts that went through my head.

The realization that I’m having as I write this, is that I didn’t think I was good enough to be a life coach. I surmised that a life coach is a person that has it all figured out. According to my assumptions, a life coach has the best career, the best life, the best everything. I never thought of myself as one who had it all together, and I thought a life coach had to have all the answers. That isn’t true. The rule is that no one has all the answers and life coaches are not the exception. All a life coach really needs is perspective and determination. Perspective on and understanding of certain life choices and experiences, the desire to incite and encourage, and the determination to navigate their own life journey while seeking to help others navigate through theirs. That is a life coach.

A life coach is an individual who wants to see you make it. A person that hopes the best for you and wishes for you to pursue the things that light up your life. A life coach does not seek to tell you how to live your life, on the contrary; their aim is to empower you to choose and decide your own path. And that is exactly who I am. I am a passionate being. One that is willing to expose my vulnerabilities and experiences in hopes that it will help and heal others.

I had grown from certain life experiences and wanted to, if possible; prevent other people from going through the pain that I’d endured from those situations. I want to share my growth and ignite self-love and change through my openness. I’d like to help people see how wonderful they are and how wonderful life can be for them if they just authentically be themselves. I want as many people to benefit from my growth as possible. This growth has led me to the place where I am now. A uniquely beautiful place where I understand the power of perspective. The place where I genuinely believe that people are absolute magic and just need to be reminded that they are. I am convinced that all anyone truly needs is to find their inner glow. To understand that their purpose in life is to live joyfully and be the star of their own show. (And maybe that sounds corny to some people, but I don’t care!)

That’s what life is about for me. Helping people become the best versions of themselves while I become the best version of myself. Everyone has the capability of being their most evolved self; some people just need to be shown how.

But that’s not how I saw it before. I used to think that people were evil and mean. Selfish. Animalistic. And I felt this way because I had spent my former years blaming people for the pains and traumas that I had suffered.

As I went through life the weight of low self-esteem, resentment, and perceived rejection had taken its toll on me. I had gotten to a low point that no one could help me out of. No one but me. So, I became my first client. And with time, patience, consistency, and effort; I continue to evolve.

I want to tell you how I did it. How I’m doing it. My earnest desire is that you receive encouragement, enlightenment, and healing from this book. Thank you for taking the time to read my writing. I hope it does your heart some good.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls,

Mimi Loves You

Coaching Blog: Creating Goals with an Action Plan!

Hello Beautiful Souls!

We all know how important goal setting is, but if we set goals without an action plan our efforts are futile and nothing more than elaborate hopes. If you have ever set goals before, but failed to achieve them, it may have been because you did not create a specific plan of action to accomplish those goals.

Taking the time to set goals is only part of the process of goal setting, and many people often overlook the other part, creating a plan!

Without a plan your goals remain incomplete. It’s like having a destination without having a map. Your goals tell you where you want to go in life, and your plan tells you how to get there.

A goal plan is simply a list of scheduled activities that you will do sometime in the future. These may include activities done over a series of days, weeks, months or even years depending on the type of goal you set for yourself.

Your plan does not have to be completed perfectly the first time. Usually, you will find that your first attempt at creating a goal plan will be vague and incomplete. Don’t worry this is ok. Plans should be flexible and so are likely to be constantly updated as you move towards completing your primary goal.

In your plan you should create a series of steps that you think you need in order to accomplish that goal. Think of it like baking a cake. Your ultimate goal is to make a cake (and eat it!), but the ingredients and the things you do with those ingredients are your plan. Once you complete the plan, you complete your goal.

Creating a goal plan is frequently overlooked, and many people discipline themselves to write their goals every day but create no plan! So, make sure you take the time to decide where you want to go (your goals) and then create a plan (your map) that will tell you how to get there!

In addition to your goal plan, it is also a good idea to use visualization to help clarify in your mind exactly what you want to achieve. This can simply involve thinking about your goals and imaging them as completed when you go to bed. You can do this for about 10 minutes (or longer if you want) before you fall to sleep, and you will be surprised at what a difference it makes in achieving your goals. One of the main reasons visualization before sleep is so effective, is that it provides easy access to the subconscious mind. Thereby allowing you to program your goals into your mind, increasing the likelihood you will accomplish them.

Know that your dreams aren’t just silly hopes. They are possible, your goals are attainable or else you wouldn’t have the desire for them. You are absolutely capable of living the life you’ve always dreamed of. All you have to do is everything you can to make it happen. Believe, set goals, create a plan or action, believe some more, try and fail, believe some more, and there you are.

You’ve got this!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls

Mimi Loves You!