Tag: compromise

Follow Up/Reach Out

Hello beautiful souls 💖

Today, I wanted to do a follow up blog based on last week’s post. Last week’s post was a poem that I had written; entitled Can’t Find Happy.

While I was typing those words that I had written a few years back, I could recall the depth of sadness and misery that I was feeling when I originally wrote it. During that time, I was fighting with everything I had to salvage my marriage and make my family happy.

The man that I loved was unhappy. And although I was also unhappy, I put myself on the back burner and focused on him. No matter how hard I focused on his happiness, he seemed to always find something to be unhappy about. In turn, I became even more unhappy. This deep sadness had become depression.

I was an unaware, ill-equipped empath who was codependent and had trauma bonded with a narcissist. My environment was toxic. My self esteem was at an all time low due to being constantly manipulated and gaslighted, and I didn’t believe that I could leave and do well on my own. I felt trapped. I felt broken. And I felt oh so lost.

Can’t Find Happy was written in efforts to release my depression and despair through writing. Depression is very real and should be taken very seriously. It is a legitimate illness that has chemical effects on the brain and the body.

It isn’t always easy to spot, (some people who battle depression are very good at hiding their inner turmoil) but if you notice a change in behavior in a friend or loved one Please Follow Up with them! If they seem uncharacteristically moody, withdrawn, easily flustered, distracted, or lethargic, these may be indications that something is wrong. Follow Up with them. Show them that you care! Compassion is free.

And if you, beautiful soul; feel any of the previously mentioned symptoms. If you feel like you’re carrying a burden that is too heavy for you- Please reach out!

**There are people that care!

I care.

And things may seem heavy and hopeless now, but you can make it out of that situation. I was in a situation that I thought was hopeless and I made it through.

I was depressed, but I made it.

I was manipulated, but I made it.

I was broken, but I made it.

I was gaslighted, but I made it.

I was doubted, but I made it.

I was afraid, but I made it.

I made it.

I made it!!

And so can you.

And so will you.

And so ARE you.

A post from the narcissistic abuse support group I’m in…

Until next time beautiful souls 💖

Never Change

Featured

Hello Beautiful souls 💖

I was reflecting on some things and wanted to share something with you.

Here’s what I learned: I’ve learned to never change for the satisfaction of another. No matter how I love or think I love a person. A person asking you to change is a person telling you that they do not accept you as you are. It’s saying, ‘you’re almost good enough, but you gotta fix this first.’

Now, if someone brings to your attention a negative or self sabotaging behavior and you elect to adjust – that’s great because it’s your choice. You recognize this as an opportunity to grow or improve and have chosen to make a change. This change then is to please yourself and not the other person.

But if you change yourself to please someone else, at some point, resentment will fester. And that’s what happened with me.

It took me quite a while to see things this way. Initially, I was fine with the idea of making adjustments-especially for the sake of love. My spouse said that it would help our marriage and he would be satisfied if I made this change for him. And so I did.

But one change became another. And another. And yet another. I had made so many changes, that I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I had become a shell of my former self: broken, depressed, and codependent.

This, I knew, was not who I was supposed to be. It’s taken quite a bit of work and I’m still working, but I regain more of myself everyday. I am no longer in that toxic environment, and each day I work to be a more improved, balanced version of myself.

I will never again change to fit someone else’s idea of what I should be. And I hope you don’t either.

Until next time, beautiful souls. I wish you so much Love and Light!

Mimi 💖💖