Relinquish my Strength?! Uh, No.

Hello, beautiful souls 💖

I’d like to discuss something that has been tugging on my heart strings lately. Ive noticed that there has been a reel trending on social media about ‘strong black women’. In case you aren’t familiar with it, it goes a little something like this:

I am not a strong black woman. I am delicate, fragile, and I can’t do it all on my own…

There’s more to the reel, and I don’t remember the audio verbatim but I’d like to address the sentiment. I viewed this audio as a cry for help from my queens who are tired of carrying the load alone.

Being strong is a blessing and a curse in today’s society. When a person is strong, they are often given more weight to carry. The growing assumption is that since you’ve carried so much, you can carry a little more…and a bit more…and wait, here’s a little more. People typically don’t check on or offer assistance to strong people. And that can cause even the strongest of people to be weary.

Yet, strength is a gift. It is earned based on perseverance and is the by product of experience and wisdom. Strength is an invaluable attribute that should be celebrated.

I am strong.

I didn’t think of myself as strong at one point. I endured quite a bit of misfortune as well as mistreatment from people I loved and to be honest I felt anything but strong. At times I felt broken, lost, and out of control. And that’s okay too. A strong person doesn’t feel strong all the time. In fact, a person is strong because they go through painful experiences and still stand.

Strength is often appreciated in the hard times. In relationships I was often commended for my strength when I helped my mate with an issue they were facing or found a solution to a problem when my partner didn’t have one. But when I stood up for myself, I was told often that I was “too strong”.

What does that mean?!

The same strength that was admired and appreciated was quickly shunned and viewed as a negative attribute once I established some boundaries. That is not how things work.

That being said, strength is an attribute that I’ve earned and I will not relinquish my strength so that a person will accept me. I am strong, I am soft, I am fierce, I am sweet. I am human. We are human. And we all deserve to be loved and accepted as we are.

Until next time, beautiful souls 💖

Health Scare

Recently, my husband and I got sick.

First, it was him. He had a bit of a temperature, body aches, chills. A day or two later; so did I.

Immediately he and I both became afraid. You know what we were thinking- coronavirus.

I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we feared for our lives, our family, our livelihood. I myself am high risk and it got me to thinking morbid thoughts as I read and re-read about the virus and it’s symptoms. I could see my hubby mentally going in the same direction.

And then I stopped myself. No, I wasn’t suddenly unafraid but I remembered all of the positive thinking that I had been practicing. And I thought about all the things that I still wanted to accomplish. Not as if I had completely forgotten; but my memory was refreshed on how precious life is.

I talked to my husband. I told him that we were going to be okay. And although we kept our distance from family members; we began to focus on the positive.

Personally, this health scare gave me a new lease on life. It has caused me to more boldly speak my truth.

And while I’m being honest; I stopped blogging as much due to the lack of reaction/understanding of the few people that read this blog. It just seemed to me that when I write about random things that are not so important; that’s when I get likes and follows. But when I spoke about police brutality, systemic racism, and the mistreatment of various groups…

Silence.

It was disappointing to say the least.

But it’s okay. You don’t have to agree with me. You don’t have to ‘like’ another word that I post. It’s still the truth.

It’s still my truth, and the truth of millions of others around the world.

So, if you don’t have a problem with fear gripping you when police get behind your vehicle- even when you’ve done nothing wrong, if you don’t feel the injustice and the irony of law enforcement killing people that look like you at alarming rates, if your ancestors weren’t raped and enslaved, and/or forced onto a small portion of the land that you owned, if you don’t feel for the people being separated from their families, mistreated and locked in cages like animals, or if you don’t have to fear for your job or your healthcare merely based on your sexual preference… good for you I guess.

I’m just a person with a heart. With compassion. And even though all of these things don’t apply directly to me, I have the presence of mind to know that the shit ain’t right! Plain and simple.

Like it or not, it’s my truth. My family’s truth. My shipmate’s truth. My community’s truth. This country’s truth and truth all over the world.

And I will still speak it. Until I can’t speak it anymore.

Thank you health scare. For reminding me.

P.S WE STILL MATTER.

Love and light- Mimi 💜

We are PEOPLE!

It’s been over a month since my last blog, because my heart has been really heavy. I wasn’t going to weigh in on current protests or outcries on this forum because I plan on writing a book to address these issues. But, suffice it to say that my emotions are bubbling over to the point where I need to let it out before I release my book. So here goes:

Racial injustice: It’s been going on for centuries with what seems to be no end in sight.

The mistreatment of black people is not a new concept. My heart bleeds for my people. Black lives do matter- and if you respond “all lives matter” whether aloud or in your head when you hear or see this phrase; then yes, YOU are part of the problem!!

“Black Lives Matter” is not a movement to say or otherwise imply that the lives of other races don’t matter. It’s simply a way of saying, “We matter too. Please stop slaughtering us as if we don’t!!” In most cases, when a person responds “All lives matter.” It is a callous remark that doesn’t really mean what the words suggest. It’s just another way of saying, “yeah yeah. We hear ya. Now shut up about it!”

But silence will get us nowhere. Black people are being slain at an alarming rate. What’s more; we are being killed by “trusted” officials that are placed in the position to withhold the law. Black women, black men, and black children. Children!

And the murders largely go unpunished. And when you add this to slavery, the rapes of many female slaves, deliberately separating families and breeding humans like they’re animals, feeding our babies to alligators, indentured servitude, segregation, (traveling while black was actually a thing) prevention of loan approvals for homes (which only ended in the 1960’s) and whatever else…hell, it’s no wonder we as black people feel like we don’t matter!

Can you blame us?!

Here’s an illustration: Chickens are protesting being slaughtered for food. They are fed up! They’ve gathered together, putting aside their differences, to address the overwhelming amount of chickens being killed for human consumption. “Chickens lives matter! Chickens lives matter!” They chant outside of foster farms. But no one cares! They’re being ignored. To add insult to injury, even more chickens are slaughtered. Everyone is more focused on the fashion of the protest than the purpose of it. And now, there’s a group of pigeons near them protesting their protest! “All birds matter! All birds matter!” The pigeons counter defiantly. And while it’s true that they all matter; a pigeon is far less likely to be slaughtered for human consumption, now isn’t it??

But we are not chickens. Not animals at all. We are people! And we matter. Not just black people, but ALL people that are being treated unjustly!

Hispanic people in cages…they matter!!

Indigenous people disappearing without a trace…they matter!!

LGBTQ+ 🏳️‍🌈 people being denied medical rights…they matter!!

People of color, people with different beliefs, different hair, different skin. We are people and we ALL MATTER!

We matter.

Why can’t you see that we matter?!

Let your heart reflect the love that you yourself would want to be shown.

Love and Light- Mimi 💜💔

Taboo (Religion)

There are certain things that I purposely avoid talking about. I’ve never really been the type of person that likes to upset people.

As I grew older and wiser, I realized that that had to change. I still don’t like upsetting people, but I know that there are some things that need to be said- whether someone gets hurt or not. Because in the end, if you don’t speak your truth and live your truth, it is YOU that ends up hurting.

That being said, I am going to address a topic that many people may consider taboo: religion. I feel that this is necessary because I recently published a book about a Christian family.

This book, entitled Small Family Battles; was written over 6 years ago when I was a devout Christian. It addresses common issues and situations that occur in everyday life in what I call “church culture.”

Now, I say ‘was a devout Christian’ because my views on religion and church culture have changed. My life experiences have caused me to have a less ‘black and white’ view than I had at one point.

But I was never the stereotypical Christian…I didn’t judge others and I didn’t gossip. I myself was judged and treated like an outcast- no way I’d put anyone else through that! I tried to live by the Bible and be “the ideal Christian “…whatever that is.

After a while I had to break free. Try as I might, I couldn’t meet the standards of church leadership. Yes, I made mistakes and I sinned, but I was met with the same blatant disdain no matter how good or bad I was doing. Certain other members and I were left out, looked down on, and scrutinized. I had questions about the Bible that I was afraid to ask for fear of more scrutiny. I was becoming depressed and bitter. I didn’t feel like I was becoming a better person…and that’s the point of it all, isn’t it?

Yes! Of course that’s the point of it all. If you are practicing a religion and are not improving as a person: I urge you to evaluate yourself, your life, and your religion.

And please; don’t take this the wrong way. I have absolutely nothing against Christians or any other religious groups! I just believe that people should do what makes them better, happy; whole.

And if religion makes you better- then by all means continue on. But no matter what your religious beliefs are, I do believe that everyone can relate to one of the characters in Small Family Battles. The story is filled with real life situations. It’s entertaining- no matter what your beliefs are.

Until next time; remember to live out loud, love honestly and truly, and always speak your truth.

Love and Light – Mimi 💜