Make it Happen!

Hey Boo!

How is your life and/or your business doing? Is it stagnating, boring, going nowhere? Have you become obsessed with meeting those loan repayments or trying to just survive until the next fistful of money comes in? Are you having trouble maintaining your positive expectancy about life and/or business?

The way to live satisfying lives is to simply dream up the things that we want to do and then make them happen. A simple statement but so few of us can put it into practice! You can put it into practice if you take these steps. First, find yourself a quiet, comfortable location where you will be free from disturbances. Ensure that you have paper and pen handy as you will need to write some things down.

Brainstorm Ideas

For the next ten to fifteen minutes, write down all the things you’d like to do. A few rules for this exercise are in order- don’t evaluate as you write! For example, if you’d like to go overseas on vacation for twelve months – don’t stop and think whether you can afford it. Just write it down. Evaluation can occur later. At this stage, write down all the things that you’d like to do assuming there was nothing that you couldn’t do.

Prioritize Ideas

When you have finished brainstorming, you will have a list of the things you would like to do. Your next step is to review your list and sort it into priority order. Again, do not evaluate any of these items while you are ranking them. Number the items from things you want most to least.

Evaluation

Now, look at the top three items on your list and ask yourself the question: “What is stopping me from doing these things? It will help to clarify things if you write down these reasons. For example, if your number one choice is to go overseas for twelve months, your reasons for not being able to do so could be: can’t afford it, can’t leave my business unattended, or afraid I won’t like it when I get there.

Create an Action Plan

Your final step in this process is to put your plan into action – and do it now! Don’t wait for a more opportune time – the best time is always NOW!

However, don’t let your big plans stop you from doing some of your smaller plans now. Pick a couple of activities you can do within the next month that won’t cost you money. DO THEM! You will feel like a different person for having done so.

Until Next Time, Beautiful Soul keep Glowing…

8 Tips to Achieve Any Goal

Know exactly what you want

This may sound obvious but when asked “what do you want?” Many people struggle to clearly express their desires. Most people know that they want to be happy, but the descriptions typically don’t surpass vague visions of love or money. However, when asked about something that displeases us, we often go into vivid detail about it. That’s exactly how we should be regarding our goals. Remember the S.M.A.R.T. goals? The ‘S’ in the acronym represents specific. The more details, numbers, dates you can plan the better. You need a very clear focus of what you do want in order to receive it.

Write down your goals

This is one technique that separates the people who get things done from the people that are ‘getting around to it’. We are constantly reminded how important it is to write down our goals yet very few of us do it. According to research you are 95% more likely to achieve your goal if it is written down. So, that settles that. Let’s do it!

Believe

If you try and achieve a goal that you don’t truly believe in, your subconscious mind will not allow you to achieve it. You’ll only succeed in tearing yourself up inside. As Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe, it can achieve”. Take a moment to do some self-reflection. Do you really believe that your goal is possible to achieve? Do you feel worthy of it? Can you envision yourself achieving it? If you answered ‘No’ to any of those questions, there may be a guilt, self-doubt, or worthiness blockage that needs to be addressed. You must believe that your goal is possible for you to achieve!

Remind yourself constantly of the goal

The more you repeat it to your subconscious mind, the more it will be programmed in. There are a variety of techniques you can use including repeating affirmations or using subliminal software. If you spend a lot of time on your computer I recommend using software that flashes messages on your screen that only the subconscious can pick up.

Be passionate about your goal

You’re far more likely to achieve your goal if it excites you. Think about all the benefits to you once you have achieved your goal. Imagine how you would feel, how would your life be different.

Break it down into bite size chunks

If you have really big goals, this may be your most helpful tip. First, congratulations for taking up space and daring to go big! To go big in a way that’s sustainable, healthy and fits into your current life, you may need to break your goal down into smaller, intermediate goals. It makes it easier for you to believe it’s possible and it helps you organize yourself on a short, medium and long term. The ‘A’ in S.M.A.R.T. goals stands for achievable and there’s no use in setting goals that are unattainable.

Reward yourself along the way

Every Time you have some success make sure you reward yourself. It will help keep the desire and enthusiasm burning. It will also tell your subconscious mind you’re achieving your goals.

Stay Positive

Ultimately the only person who can stop you achieving your goals is YOU. Fear and self doubt are common enemies but are only created in your mind. You must also make sure that you are concentrating on what you do want, not what you don’t want.

Remember the only way you will fail is if you give up.

Until next time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing..

The Many Faces of Self-Sabotage

Hey Boo!

To close the subject of self-sabotage (for now, at least) I wanted to write this blog post revealing the many faces of it. If left unchecked, self-sabotage can exacerbate or cause anxiety, distorted thoughts, and awaken a harsh inner critic that hurls us into survival mode with its overthinking. It’s vital that we recognize the signs of self-sabotage so that we can adjust our behavior and redirect ourselves. Self-sabotage can show up in our lives in many ways: in our career, education, romantic partnerships, friendships and family dynamics, and even in our health. Here is the list of ways that self-sabotage can occur in each of these categories.

Self-Sabotage in Your Career

It’s not uncommon for self-sabotaging habits to show up most in our career, in fact according to the Self-Sabotage Workbook by The Daily Wellness, the career is the area that people who self-sabotage struggle with the most. Here are the nine signs of self-sabotage in your career to look out for:

Indecision. You struggle or hesitate to make decisions and choose behaviors that block you from achieving your goals. (This is likely due to overthinking or self-doubt)
Not Taking Risks. Taking calculated risks is essential for career growth, but if you’re afraid to take risks you may be missing out on great opportunities.
Not Staying Organized. If you can’t stay organized, you may miss important deadlines or forget to take care of tasks.
Not Being Proactive. Waiting for instructions or tasks to be handed to you is not the best way to get ahead. Initiative is needed to move forward.
Not Setting Goals. Without goals, you don’t have anything to strive for, and that can lead to complacency.
Refusing to Accept Constructive Criticism. If you’re not willing to listen to criticism and learn from it, you may be hindering your career progress.
Not Seeking Feedback. Not taking the time to get feedback from your peers or supervisors can keep you from understanding and improving your skills and performance.
Failing to Focus on Development. Investing in yourself through training and development is essential, especially if you want to move up in your field.
Seeking Comfort. You might stay in your career comfort zone due to fear of failure of uncertainty.

Self-Sabotage in Your Education

Education and schooling can highlight strengths and weaknesses, and future goals, which can often bring about self-sabotaging behaviors like professionalism and procrastination. Self-Sabotage in your education shows up in these eight ways:

Procrastinating. Putting off studying, completing assignments and other tasks that are essential for academic success.

Being Disorganized. Not having a plan for completing tasks or deadlines, or not keeping track of important dates and materials.

Lack of Focus. Not being able to concentrate on the task at hand and allowing distractions to get in the way of learning.

Not Asking For Help. Not seeking advice or assistance from teachers, tutors, or peers when needed.

Not Taking Breaks. Trying to cram too much studying in a short period of time, which can lead to burn-out.

Unrealistic Expectations. Setting goals that are too difficult to achieve or not allowing for any mistakes.

Not Taking Responsibility. Blaming others for mistakes or not taking ownership of a situation.

Not Making Healthy Choices. Not getting enough sleep eating unhealthy foods or engaging in other activities that can affect your ability to focus.

Self-Sabotage in Your Romantic Partnerships

Previous traumas, childhood relationships with your parents, and self-esteem are some of the biggest factors that can contribute to you self-sabotaging your romantic relationships. Here are 13 ways that self-sabotaging can affect romantic relationships:

Not communicating openly and honestly

Blaming the other person for your own issues

Resisting vulnerability

Putting up walls

Not being able to forgive

Having unrealistic expectations

Having a lack of trust

Making assumptions about the other person

Not respecting boundaries

Constantly seeking reassurance, validation, or approval

Using the silent treatment to punish the other person

Allowing outside influences to interfere in the relationship

Not taking the time to nurture the relationship

Self-Sabotage in Your Friendships/Family

Relationships with friends and family members are layered and complex. It can often bring about questions about your self-worth, self-esteem, having to practice boundaries, and unconscious behaviors you may not be aware of. There are nearly 20 ways to sabotage your relationship with family members or friends. Here they are:

Not making time for friends or not showing up when plans are made.

Making negative comments about others.

Being unreliable or not following through on promises.

Withholding compliments or downplaying another person’s successes.

Refusing to listen or hear out another person’s point of view.

Failing to be honest or keeping secrets from friends.

Jealousy or feeling threatened by another person’s successes.

Blaming others for one’s own mistakes.

Not being supportive of friends/family members during difficult times.

Gossiping or talking badly about other people or friends.

Comparing one’s friends to others or putting them down.

Not respecting boundaries or taking advantage of the friendship.

Ignoring or disrespecting a friend’s feelings.

Not apologizing when wrong or not taking responsibility for mistakes.

Not giving your friends the same attention as you give to others.

Being overly competitive or trying to one-up friends.

Making friends feel like they’re not important or not valued.

Not being honest about one’s feelings or intentions.

Not being flexible or open to compromise.

Not being present or engaged when spending time with friends or family members.

And last but certainly not least-

Self-Sabotage in Your Health

People often self-sabotage their health by having unhealthy habits and attitudes that can lead to physical and mental issues. Here are ten ways that we sabotage our physical health:

Eating a diet poor in nutrients

Not getting enough sleep

Not drinking enough water

Failing to exercise regularly

Not taking your medication

Drinking or smoking excessively

Neglecting your mental health

Excessive social media use

Engaging in dangerous activities

Not making time for hobbies or relaxation

Being aware of the many ways that we self-sabotage can help us avoid these tendencies or habits and adjust early on. As they say, prevention is better than treatment and the goal is to break the cycle of self sabotage and thrive on the greatest level of authenticity.

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

The Downward Spiral of Self-Sabotage

Hey Boo!

This week, we are talking about self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is the act of consciously or subconsciously undermining one’s own efforts or progress. Self-sabotage can appear in the form of procrastination-putting off tasks that are important to you or engaging in activities that are counterproductive. Self-sabotage could also be negative self-talk or self-defeating behaviors that prevent you from achieving your goals or reaching your fullest potential.

What drives self-sabotage? Fear. Generally, self-sabotage is driven by fear on some level. This underlying fear can contribute to procrastination and perfectionism, and before we know it, we are on a downward spiral. The procrastination and perfectionism caused by our fear increases anxiety which can lead us to think in the form of worst-case scenarios. Constantly thinking of worst-case scenarios causes distorted beliefs about ourselves and the world, which ignites our inner critic. The inner critic has such harsh inner dialogue that it often keeps us stifled, frozen, or running in place- avoiding important tasks or wasting time with insignificant ones. The more the harsh inner dialogue continues, the further we are driven into survival mode. In survival mode, the brain is constantly on the lookout for threats to your safety. This unconscious vigilance can drive you to hold on to old issues to protect you from physical or emotional damage. We cannot be abundant or reach our fullest potential in survival mode, so it’s very important to break to debilitating habit of self-sabotage.

The first step in breaking this habit is to become aware of it – to identify when and why you are engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. Once you have identified the behavior, it is important to understand the underlying causes or triggers for it. This may require exploring your thoughts and feelings in order to better understand why you are engaging in these behaviors.

Once you have identified the triggers, the next step is to replace the self-sabotaging behavior with more positive, productive behaviors. This could be anything from taking a break when you feel overwhelmed, engaging in positive self-talk, to scheduling regular breaks throughout your day.

Finally, it is important to be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion. Self-sabotage is often a defense mechanism, and it is important to remember that it is not a reflection of your worth or ability. It is possible to break the habit of self-sabotage and take the steps to make positive changes in your life. With this blog and the journaling prompts I hope to help you shed some light on your self-sabotage habits, learn how to recognize them, identify which areas of your life they show up most, and how to manage your habits by creating new ones.

Be sure to follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and/or TikTok (@mimi.sums) for more self-sabotaging and personal development content.

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

What’s in Your Coping Toolbox?

Hey Boo!

Life consistently presents us with challenges and changes and at times this can lead to us feeling stressed. Learning to cope with various life situations is the key to succeeding with stress rather than experiencing distress. This blog contains ideas for coping with stress and acute emotional crises. Here are some ideas for coping with stress:

Understand more about stress – this involves recognizing your sources of stress and how stress affects you personally. Plan for stressful periods.

Problem-solve – what is the problem, be specific and break it down into realistic achievable components. Then set goals on how to deal with each problem. Make sure you include how to begin your plan of action.

Develop new behavior – if you take on too much or have problems saying no, practice being more assertive. Learn to manage your time more effectively and delegate wherever possible! Avoid procrastination. Remind yourself that procrastination causes unneeded anxiety. Get the task done and out of the way so that you don’t’ have to worry about it later.

Make sure you develop a support network – deliberately develop good supportive relationships. Ask for help when needed and accept it when offered. You must also be prepared to do the same for others.

Make time to relax and enjoy yourself – how many of us know we should do more of this but don’t make the time? Set aside time each day to relax and build this into your routine. Develop hobbies and leisure activities that help you to switch off.

Ideas For Coping with Acute Emotional Distress

Use of distraction – the aim of this is to limit the time you spend in contact with the emotional stimuli, the things that are causing you to feel emotional. The stimuli could be anything from another person to the thoughts that you are having. Distraction involves doing something else to absorb your attention.

Imagery – think of safe and soothing images. This involves imagining images that make you feel good, it may be a favorite place, person, pet or scenes from nature.

Relaxation – learn a simple technique like using peripheral vision to induce relaxation. Peripheral vision is effective at switching on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system responsible for making us feel calm. It’s not possible to feel anxious or distressed while fully relaxed in peripheral vision.

Live in the moment – as adults we tend to spend much of our time stuck contemplating what went wrong in the past or what may go wrong in the future. Try and just focus on the ‘moment’. Perhaps this may involve thinking something like ‘I’m in my house in my favorite chair, I’m warm and comfortable and I have a good book to read’.

Exercise – physical activity can help to disperse the chemicals released in your body by the stress response. It also releases feel good chemicals known as endorphins.

Soothe yourself – do something to nurture your 5 senses. Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Until Next time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

10 Ways to Stay Calm in Stressful Situations

Hey Boo!

Anger is a natural emotion, but when anger becomes overwhelming or frequent, it can negatively affect your personal and professional life. Managing your anger effectively can lead to better relationships, improved health, and a more peaceful state of mind. Here are some tips to help you manage anger in a healthy and constructive way.

Recognize Your Triggers

The first step in managing anger is to become aware of what sets you off. Take note of the situations, people, and thoughts that tend to provoke anger. Once you’ve identified your triggers, you can prepare for them or avoid them altogether. If avoidance isn’t an option, work on a plan to remain calm when these triggers occur. (Try shifting your focus from the triggering aspects of the task or situation and instead focus on the urgency of the matter. Commit your attention to getting through the situation in the best way possible and then decompress as soon as you are able to.)

Take a Time Out

When you feel anger rising, give yourself a brief break. Step away from the situation to collect your thoughts and calm down. A five minute walk, deep breathing, or simply sitting quietly can help lower the intensity of your emotions and prevent you from saying or doing something you’ll regret.

Practice Deep Breathing

Speaking of deep breathing…Controlled breathing is a powerful tool for reducing anger. When you’re upset, your heart rate and breathing quicken. By taking slow, deep breaths, you can signal to your body that it’s time to relax. Try inhaling for a count of three, holding for three, and exhaling for another count of three. Repeat this until you feel your anger subsiding.

Use “I” Statements

When discussing what’s making you upset, avoid placing blame on others. Instead of saying “You never listen to me!” Try something like, “I feel frustrated because I don’t feel heard.” This shifts the focus to how you feel without attacking the other person, which can lead to a more productive conversation and resolution.

Engage in Physical Activity

Physical exercise is a great way to release built-up tension and manage anger. Whether it’s going for a run, hitting the gym, practicing yoga, or dancing, moving your body helps to reduce stress hormones and improve your mood. It also gives you time to reflect on what’s bothering you.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

Incorporating relaxation techniques like meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualization into your daily routine can make it easier to stay calm in stressful situations. These techniques help to reset your emotional response and prevent anger from building over time. (Other relaxation techniques include yoga, listening to calming music, aromatherapy, and taking a warm bath.)

Know When to Seek Help

If your anger is frequent or intense enough that it’s affecting your relationships, job, or overall wellbeing, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of your anger and teach you strategies to manage it more effectively.

Focus on Solutions, Not Problems

When something causes you to be upset, shift your focus to something positive rather than dwelling on the issue and how you feel about it. Ask yourself, “What can I do to resolve this?” By focusing on what you can control, you’ll feel more empowered and less overwhelmed by your emotions.

Keep a Journal

Writing about your anger can provide a safe outlet for expressing your feelings, Keeping a journal allows you to reflect on why you’re upset, recognize patterns in your anger, and come up with strategies to address those emotions more constructively in the future.

Use Humor to Defuse Tension

Humor can help reduce tension and make it easier to see the situation from a different perspective. While it’s important to avoid sarcasm or mocking, light humor can sometimes diffuse a tense moment and help you relax. Laughter is a great way to lighten the emotional load.

*Remember to proceed with caution while using this tip. It’s important to not make light of another person’s anger, so make sure you read the room before using humor.

Anger doesn’t have to control your life. By practicing these anger management tips, you’ll be able to handle stressful situations with more patience and clarity. Remember, it’s not about suppressing your anger but learning how to express it in a way that’s healthy and productive.

Do you have any tips for managing anger that work for you? Please share them!

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

The Secret to Making Lasting Changes

Hey Boo!

Think you can’t change? Many of us already know that we need to improve our state of well-being in order to extend our lives as we age. Making changes is traditionally difficult, but the good news is that it’s never too late to make changes for the better. The first step is to understand what’s important to you, and then determine the choices and decisions that represent where you want to be. Maybe you want to start a new career, lose weight, stop smoking or start exercising. Whatever the change is, be sure you understand why you want to make the change.

Take a moment to think about a time in your life when you made a successful change or developed a new habit. What was your motivation for the change? What was your attitude at the time? What obstacles or barriers did you have to overcome? Your level of readiness to change will determine how successful you are, and how much time it will take. Once you make the decision to change, you must practice that new behavior one day at a time until it becomes a habit – a lasting change.

Embracing the concept of change is a big thing, because interestingly, many people think they don’t have a choice when it comes to change. But why is that? For some it’s fear, guilt, love, pain, time management, or even tradition. What motivates one person may not be the same thing that gets another person to act. Everyone reacts differently to changes, whether voluntary or mandatory.

To start making a change, let go of certain assumptions or ways of doing things, to make room for new ideas. Work on this one day at a time until you feel comfortable.

To make a lasting change, you start wherever you are and stretch a tiny bit more each time. If you fall off the wagon, or experience resistance, identify the cause or circumstances— who you were with, where you were, or your emotional state. The key is to get up and get back on the path again. You may go forward and backward a few times because making a lasting change is challenging and takes consistency and trial and error. Your level of readiness to change will determine how successful you are, and how much time it will take. But you need to be ready, able and willing to make change happen.

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

A Practical Guide to Behavioral Change

Hey Boo,

In a world that’s constantly evolving, the ability to change behaviors- whether personal or within a team- is a powerful asset. Behavioral change can lead to improved productivity, healthier habits, and a more fulfilling life. However, activating behavioral change isn’t always easy. It requires understanding your thought processes, employing strategic techniques, and maintaining consistency over time. This guide will show you how to successfully activate and sustain behavioral change.

Set Clear and Measurable Goals

Behavioral change begins with a clear understanding of what you want to achieve. Abstract goals like ‘get healthier’ or ‘be more productive’ often lead to confusion and lack of focus. Instead, break down these broader objectives into specific, actionable goals.

For example:

Exercise for 30 minutes, 3 times a week

Limit social media use to 1 hour per day

These goals should be measurable and time bound to track progress. The SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) goal setting framework is a useful tool here.

Understand the Triggers and Cues

Most behaviors are linked to specific triggers or cues. For instance, you may unconsciously grab a snack every time you sit down to watch TV. Recognizing these patterns is key to changing them. Start by:

Identifying the behavior you want to change.

Pinpointing the cue or trigger for that behavior. This could be a location, time of day, emotional state, or even people you’re around.

Once the trigger is identified, you can work on modifying it or replacing the undesired behavior with a positive one, also called a life giving activity.

Leverage the Power of Habit

According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, habits operate on a “cue-routine-routine” loop. To change behavior, you need to modify this loop:

Cue: The trigger that initiates the behavior.

Routine: The behavior or action itself

Reward: The positive reinforcement you get from the action.

By keeping the same cue and reward but changing the routine, you can reshape habits. For example, if you snack when stressed, find a new routine like drinking tea or going for a short walk. This will satisfy the craving for stress relief without the unhealthy behavior.

Use Positive Reinforcement: Positive reinforcement is a proven psychological technique to promote behavioral change. Reward yourself for sticking to new behaviors or achieving small milestones. Rewards can be intrinsic (a sense of accomplishment) or extrinsic (a treat, an experience, or a material reward). However, the reward should be tied to the effort and not undermine the goal (example: don’t reward a healthy week of eating with a day of overeating)

Harness the Power of Social Influence: We humans are social creatures and our behaviors are often influenced by the people around us. This can be used to your advantage.

Surround yourself with people who encourage and model the behavior you want to adopt.

Join communities, online or in person, where your new behavior is celebrated and supported. Seek out an accountability partner who can keep you on track and provide feedback.

Social influence creates a sense of accountability and normalizes the new behavior.

Start Small and Build Momentum: Often, people try to change too much too fast, leading to burnout, discouragement, or failure. Instead, focus on small incremental changes. For example, if your goal is to exercise regularly, start with 10 minutes a day instead of jumping into hour-long workouts. These small wins build momentum and make larger goals feel more attainable.

Use Visual Reminders: Visual cues can be a powerful tool to reinforce new behaviors. Some common strategies include:

Keeping a habit tracker where you mark off each day you complete the desired action.

Placing reminders in visible places (Sticky notes or your mirror, phone alarms)

Creating vision boards that reflect the results of your desired behavioral change.

These visual tools keep the goal front and center in your mind and increase your chances of sticking to it.

Plan for Setbacks: Behavioral change is rarely linear. There will be moments when you fall back into old patterns, and that’s okay. The key is to recognize that setbacks are part of the process, not a sign of failure. When a slip-up happens:

Analyze what triggered the old behavior.

Reaffirm your commitment to the change.

Adjust your approach if necessary and keep moving forward.

Having a plan for setbacks makes it easier to bounce back and avoid guilt of frustration.

Consistency Over Intensity: Consistency is more important than intensity when it comes to lasting behavioral change. Daily or regular practice, even in small amounts, is more effective than intense but infrequent efforts. Aim for sustainable actions that you can integrate into your daily life.

For example, if you want to develop a meditation habit, it’s better to start with 5 minutes a day consistently rather than attempting an hour-long session once a week.

Track and Reflect on Progress: Regular reflection helps you assess what’s working and what isn’t. Keep a journal, use a habit tracking app, or simply spend time each week reviewing your progress. These practices:

Reinforce the positive changes you’ve made.

Highlight areas for improvement.

Encourage further growth.

By reflecting on your journey, you’ll remain motivated and aware of the progress you’ve made, which can help maintain the behavior in long term.

Activating behavioral change is both an art and a science. It requires self-awareness, strategic planning, and persistence. By setting clear goals, understanding the psychology behind habits, and staying consistent, anyone can create lasting change in their behavior. Whether you want to be healthier, more productive, or achieve personal growth, these steps will help you initiate and sustain meaningful change.

Go forth and be great, Boo. You got this!

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

How to Find Your Real Self Again

Hey Boo!

On the surface it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to “fit in”. We find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and who love us.

But sometimes that means that you have to suppress what you know is the real person inside.

And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else.

If you’re ready to get reacquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 4 ideas to help you rediscover the real you.

Quiet the noise in your head

You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the family appointments, keep the boss happy, etc. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything else. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack.

Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways

In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined –that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.”

Listen to your heart

Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important.

Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal

What you’re really after is a feeling — respect, love, appreciation – as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through.

A person you can know and love – you! – is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you’ll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, that’s what you’re really looking for, isn’t it?

Until Next Time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

10 Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Hey Boo!

Confidence is a trait that many of us admire in others but struggle to develop in ourselves. But the good news is that even if you don’t have confidence naturally, confidence is a skill that can be learned and cultivated. Like any other skill, it grows with intention, practice, and persistence. In this blog, we’ll explore practical ways to boost your confidence and create lasting self-assurance.

Understand the Root of Low Confidence

The first step to boosting your confidence is identifying what holds you back. Is it fear of failure? Comparison to others? Negative self-talk? Understanding the root cause allows you to address it head-on.

Action Step

Take time to reflect. Journal about moments when you felt your confidence waver. What were the triggers? Awareness is the foundation of change.

Celebrate Small Wins

Confidence builds through achievement. It’s not about waiting for monumental successes, but about recognizing the small victories that happen everyday. Whether it’s finishing a challenging task, learning something new, or even showing kindness to someone else, these small wins accumulate into a greater sense of accomplishment.

Action Step

Start a “win journal.’ Each day, write down three things you accomplished or are proud of, no matter how small. Over time, this practice will remind you of your growth and progress.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Our internal dialogue greatly impacts our confidence. If you frequently tell yourself you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The key to reversing this is to become aware of these thoughts and replace them with empowering beliefs.

Action Step

When you find yourself engaging in negative self talk, pause and ask: “Is this thought helpful? Is it true?” Replace it with a positive affirmation or a more constructive perspective. For example, instead of thinking, “I’ll never be able to do this” shift to, “I’m learning and improving every day.”

Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

True confidence comes from facing challenges and stepping out of your comfort zone. By confronting fear and uncertainty, you gradually prove to yourself that you are capable of more than you thought.

Action Step

Identify one thing that scares you but could help you grow. It could be public speaking, starting a new project, or joining a group activity. Take small, calculated steps toward that goal and celebrate your progress along the way.

Cultivate Self-Compassion

Confidence isn’t about perfection, it’s about self-acceptance. Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes or when things don’t go as planned. Embrace failure as part of the learning process, not a reflection of your worth.

Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a close friend, when things don’t go well, instead of criticizing yourself, offer words of encouragement. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and they opportunities for growth.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people you surround yourself with have a significant impact on your confidence. Negative, critical, or unsupportive relationships can drain your self-esteem, while positive, encouraging ones can uplift and empower you.

Action Step

Evaluate your relationships. Are they supportive and uplifting? If not, consider setting boundaries with negative influences and seeking out individuals who inspire and motivate you.

Focus on Your Strengths

Everyone has unique strengths and talents. Often, we focus so much on our weaknesses that we forget to celebrate what we’re good at. Confidence grows when we recognize and play to our strengths.

Action Step

Make a list of your strengths, talents, and things you enjoy doing. How can you incorporate more of these into your daily life? The more you align with your strengths, the more confident you’ll feel.

Practice Body Language

Confidence isn’t just a mindset- it’s also physical. How you carry yourself affects how you feel. Standing tall, maintaining good posture, and making eye contact can send signals to both yourself as well as others that you are confident, even if you don’t feel that way at first.

Action Step

Practice standing with your shoulders back and your head held high. Smile more often and make eye contact. Notice how these small adjustments shift your mood and the way others respond to you.

Set and Achieve Realistic Goals

Setting and achieving goals, no matter how small, is a powerful way to build confidence. Each goal you accomplish reinforces the belief that you are capable.

Action Step

Break larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Focus on making steady progress, and each completed step will boost your confidence.

Visualize Your Success

Visualization is a powerful tool for boosting confidence. When you imagine yourself succeeding, your brain starts to believe it’s possible. This mental rehearsal prepares you for the real thing.

Action Step

Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself achieving a specific goal or handling a challenging situation with confidence. Imagine how you’ll feel and the actions you’ll take. This practice will help you feel more prepared when the moment comes.

Building confidence is a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and consistent effort. By taking small steps each day and practicing the strategies outlined in this blog, you’ll find yourself growing stronger, more resilient, and more confident in every aspect of your life.

Remember confidence is not about having it all together. It’s about believing in your ability to learn, grow, and handle whatever comes your way. Keep going Boo, and you’ll be amazed at the new heights you’ll reach!

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…