Tag: glow with Mimi

The Effects of Narcissistic Abuse:

And How to Start Healing from it.

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I wanted to talk to you about the effects of narcissistic abuse both as a confirmation and as a road map. The confirmation is for the survivors of narcissistic abuse- to show them that they aren’t alone and help them understand the effects of the abuse they experienced so that they can take proactive steps towards treatment and healing. The road map is for the family members of narcissistic abuse survivors. It pinpoints the primary effects of narcissistic abuse so that family members and friends can be equipped with insight so that they may offer more thoughtful and knowledge support.

Here are the most common effects of narcissistic abuse:

Anxiety: After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you may experience extreme fear or anxiety in relationships with new people. Anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and hypervigilance may result as well.

Depression: Survivors of narcissistic abuse often struggle with feelings of worthlessness after being manipulated, gaslighted, and devalued over the course of the relationship. Because of this, some of the survivors  self-isolate which makes the depression worse.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: The traumatic events that transpire during a narcissistic relationship can trigger a fight or flight response within you. Anything associated with the memories of abuse can trigger an anxiety attack. Many survivors develop hypervigilance because of narcissistic abuse. Many victims have repeated the sentiment that they ‘never knew’ what their abuser was going to do next.

Lost Sense of Self & Loss of Self Worth: Narcissistic abuse is a form of brainwashing and can destroy your sense of self-worth. The survivor of narcissistic abuse often feels as if they’ve lost themselves. They are no longer the person they were before the relationship began. They begin doubting and second guessing themselves and sometimes have trouble making decisions. This is likely due to being insulted, disregarded, and/or devalued by the narcissist.

Inability to Forgive Yourself: Victims of narcissistic abuse often feel guilt or shame after they are discarded. The mental and emotional manipulation may cause an ‘unworthy’ feeling whether the victim blames themselves for the narcissist’s behavior- believing that they aren’t worthy of love or that they would receive better treatment had they done things differently. In my case, the guilt and shame came from staying as long as I did. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I had allowed another person to treat me that way.

Physical Symptoms: Headaches, stomachaches, difficulty sleeping, nightmares, and body aches have been experienced by many victims of narcissistic abuse. I personally experienced headaches and difficulty sleeping during the marriage as well as shortly after discard.

Cognitive Problems: Memories of traumatic events are known to interfere with concentration and focus. The stress hormones released during narcissistic abuse can cause short term memory loss due to the damage to the hippocampus region of the brain.

Emotional Lability: This can very from mood swings and irritability to being emotionless. The effects of narcissistic abuse can make it challenging to regulate your emotions.

Stuck in a Cycle: This is one of the most dangerous effects in my opinion. Many people find themselves stuck in a cycle where they remain in communication with the abuser after the relationship is over. The connection is kept through various tactics such as threats, manipulation/pity attempts, or hoovering- when they attempt to suck you back into the relationship by love bombing and making promises they don’t intend to keep.

Being stuck in this cycle is dangerous because things often escalate and can become physical. If you are in a situation that is unsafe please get help as quickly and as quietly as you can.

Trust Issues: After experiencing narcissistic abuse your trust levels tend to be quite low. While this is quite understandable, it can hinder the success of future relationships, cause social anxiety, make you overly sensitive to criticism or judgment, and cause an insecure attachment.

People Pleasing: Narcissistic abuse is a perfect learning ground for people pleasing if you weren’t a people pleaser already. Most victims of abuse have grown accustomed to walking on eggshells, avoid confrontation, and may also struggle with expressing emotions or thoughts for fear of being judged. A person who doesn’t express their emotions is often disregarded while the narcissist places their emotions at the forefront for you to focus on.

Self-Destructive Habits: People who have been in relationships with narcissists often engage in self-destructive habits such as alcohol abuse, smoking, food or drug addiction, and overspending. Some believe that this is because the victim feels at fault for the narcissistic partner’s behavior toward them. I personally believe that this behavior may be the victim’s attempt to numb the pain of the abuse. In either case, it is highly encouraged that you find a coping mechanism that builds you up instead of tearing you down.

**How to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse**

Recognize and Accept Your Feelings

Feelings such as grief, depression, anger, and anxiety are completely normal feelings to have. Your feelings are valid and it’s important not to suppress your emotions and you should definitely not judge yourself for feeling them.

Educate Yourself

Learn about narcissistic traits and behaviors to more easily recognize when you are being manipulated, and self-check to unearth any internal programming or beliefs you may have for a narcissist to use against you. For more information on those internal programmings or toxic beliefs, you can check out my ebook on Amazon entitled Toxic Beliefs: The Beginning of Internal Destruction.

Join a Support Group

You may find it therapeutic to interact with others who understand exactly what you’re going through and can offer tips and advice to help you cope. You are more than welcome to join my growing  facebook group Resilient Brave Beings for a safe space to ask questions and express your concerns.

Reach Out to a Therapist, Counselor, or Coach

A qualified professional can equip you with tools to cope with and heal from narcissistic abuse in a safe and nonjudgmental space. Sign up for my informative workshop where we will be discussing the effects of narcissistic abuse and some strategies to help your healing process.

Practice Self Care

When your self-esteem has taken a hit it’s easy to feel unmotivated and undeserving of good things. But you deserve the utmost love and care. Adequate sleep, healthy food, and engaging in activities that you enjoy are all heavily encouraged.

Narcissistic abuse can be a difficult thing to recover from, but with education, support, encouragement, and strategy healing is possible.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog this week. I do hope that it was helpful to you.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Don’t Zone Out!

Find Focus with a Theme.

Hello Beautiful souls!

What happened to the time? When we are busy in our day-to-day lives, it sometimes seems that whole seasons pass in a blink. And the goals we have…well, they can easily slip by in that blur too. You want to WAKE UP: to get control of your time and meet your goals. But how?

In coaching we sometimes talk about our lives being in process. That is, our lives are constantly flowing forward over and around the highs and lows of our everyday experience, like a river. As humans we often try to minimize those ups and downs: We plan for the future, we dwell on the past, and thus avoid experiencing the emotion at this present moment. As a result we dampen our aliveness and sort of zone out. No wonder we suddenly “wake up” to realize minutes, days, or even weeks, have passed us by!

Have you ever had the experience of driving a car only to find yourself suddenly at your destination? Where have you been? Not present, that’s for sure! But really, what does it mean to be present in your day-to-day life?

It’s quite challenging to focus all your attention on this moment. Try it: As you are reading these words, slow down. Experience the action of reading one word at a time. What sounds do you hear in the room around you? How comfortable are you? How are you breathing? Recognize that you are alive, right now, in this moment. What was that like for you?

Here’s another experiment. Go ahead and laugh – – but try this anyway. It may give you a whole new way to be in the moment: As you go through your day, ask yourself: Where’s my butt? On a chair? Against a wall? Walking past the consignment shop on Main Street? Crazy as it sounds; it is very difficult not to be present when you’re trying to figure out where your rump is!

OK! Now you’ve tried rump-awareness and have probably heard all kinds of other advice for becoming present in the moment – breathing, mindfulness, meditation, and so forth. Now broaden the concept: how can you stay present and focused for a project or goal in your life? Select a theme.

Here’s how it works: As an example, my theme for my business this year is “authenticity and inner glow.” This theme serves a filter. Each month, I review my business goals through the lens of my theme and prioritize those that will cause me to be the most authentic and give my clients the most inspiration. Being authentic best shows my inner glow and sets a good perimeter for my clients. Because I have to walk the walk myself before I talk the talk, right? When brainstorming projects to undertake, I look for those that best match my theme. Now that I’ve achieved more clarity and consistency in my business, I am ready to move forward and REALLY let my light shine! I will be pursuing platforms to draw attention to Toxic Beliefs, which is the cornerstone of my coaching program.

Toxic Beliefs are negative beliefs or programmings that many of us have experienced that place us in danger of being manipulated, mistreated or abused- whether emotionally, financially, sexually, or physically. I can’t prove it, but based on my experience as well as the experiences of my beta-testers, toxic beliefs that were incurred during childhood had affected the way we think and behave in many aspects of life. We all had three or more of the ten toxic beliefs and as a result we had all suffered from self-esteem issues, brain fog, and had been in toxic and/or narcissistic relationships.

My theme for the financial wing of my business is Action! Becoming a financial consultant was really a godsend, not only because I was financially illiterate, but because it has made me grow and come out of my comfort zone in so many ways. I went from being terrified of public speaking to doing live presentations! Not without some blunders and minor freak-outs, but I got there and am steadily improving. My Upyugo family is passionate about bringing financial literacy and financial freedom to the masses – we are on fire!

What is YOUR theme? It’s time for you to wake up and be on fire too!

Until next time, beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

 

Coaching Blog: All in Your Mind!

Are you currently struggling to reach your objectives? Do you have everything in life that you desire? Is it easy for you to reach your goals after every success? Are you always calm and patient? Or are you frustrated, angry and disappointed at your lack of progress in life? If you are not living the life you wish to live, the is a solution. And the solution lies in your mind!

Your mind has two parts, the conscious thinking logical part and the unconscious part. Your conscious mind is that part of your mind you are using right now to read and analyze these words. However, it is the subconscious part of your mind that is interpreting the symbols on the page and telling you what they represent. This part of your mind is more powerful than you can imagine and can help you in ways that seem miraculous at times.

Everything that has ever occurred in your life is stored somewhere in the subconscious part of your mind. It is literally an unlimited warehouse for memories and emotions. This is an extremely important aspect of the subconscious mind. You need to have instant access to this stored information so that you can find your way home, remember names and faces, how to do your job etc. And while that is very convenient and useful, the subconscious mind does have major disadvantages!

Not only does your subconscious mind store valuable information, it also stores essential emotions. The subconscious stores the emotion of pain and fear connected to certain activities that you’ve done in the past, such as the unpleasant feeling at the dentist, or scorching yourself with fire. When you find yourself getting too close to fire and feel the heat on your skin your subconscious mind will immediately alert you with a feeling of fear. This mechanism is designed to keep you safe and works very effectively. It also works to your advantage by replaying positive emotions connected to certain situations – think of a time when you caught a glimpse of your spouse or child, heard a piece of music or smelt some perfume or aftershave and were immediately reminded of an earlier time that evoked strong loving emotions.

Therefore, we can view your subconscious mind as acting, in its simplest role, as a recording and playback mechanism – a bit like a fully interactive video recorder. The things that occur to you in your life are recorded and then played back when you access those memories. The problem that often arises though is when incorrect or inappropriate emotional memories are accessed by the subconscious mind when you find yourself in new situations. If your subconscious mind has been “programmed” with negative emotions or a negative self-image then these are the things it will play back to you when you try something new or reach out past your comfort zone.

So, how do we fix that? We reprogram our minds to show different images! Research, visualize, rehearse, adopt. We must research our goals so that we can replace our doubts with comforting facts. Researching provides knowledge and can lead to a solid plan to begin making our dreams a reality. Visualize yourself doing the things you’ve always dreamed of doing. Being able to visualize ourselves carrying out the tasks makes the goal more attainable. Goals are birth in our minds before they manifest in reality. And now, we rehearse. We can write or script our ideal lives and repeat the visualization process as we take the steps to live the life we really want. The more we rehearse, the more vividly the goal becomes. Then we adopt a new mindset. We must begin to embody that which we want to become. Thinking, speaking, and behaving the way that we must behave to truly become who we are meant to be.

Your dream life is possible, boo! It’s all in your mind.

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls!

Breaking Agreements

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I was saying my affirmations early one morning (I couldn’t sleep) and I came across one of the affirmations that I’d created based on the book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is a great book. If you haven’t read it, I think you should.

The affirmation that I was referring to is ‘I break all agreements that do not resonate with my calling or soul purpose.’ An agreement is a limiting belief that you have accepted as the truth. These agreements in many cases, prevent us from accomplishing our dreams and deepest desires. (For Example: I really want to be a singer, but I only have a one in a billion chance.)

An agreement can be made by accepting negative thoughts or statements as the truth. They could be your own negative thoughts based on unpleasurable experiences, or statements made by others. When these agreements are made, they continue to work against us subconsciously until they are broken. And as we go through life we pick up more and more agreements. All of these agreements that we collect as we go through life- from parents, teachers, coaches, classmates, relatives, churches, etc. The culmination of agreements over time can be quite paralyzing. If you’d like to break these agreements, follow these steps now!

Identify The Agreement

Whether the agreement is ‘I’ve always been clumsy’ because you remember falling down when you were four, or ‘you’ve never been as smart as the other kids’ from teachers or parents, this agreement can be broken. Ask yourself what limiting beliefs or agreements have your made that limit your success or hinder your happiness.

Once you’ve identified the agreement (or agreements) that you’ve accepted, go back in your mind to the route of it all. Get as close as you can to the origin of this feeling or agreement. Once you’ve found the earliest memory of this agreement, go to the next step.

Break it Down

When breaking down an agreement, be as thorough and as honest as you can.

Ask yourself questions like:

*Is there any truth to this agreement? (Per our example) Are you really clumsy? Or were you distracted by something that caused you to lose your balance and fall?

*Is this agreement still relevant? Sometimes we carry complexes and agreements that we created during childhood. (For example: developing a fear of public speaking because you had a lisp when you were eight years old.)

In most cases, the agreement is untrue. In the cases where there is truth to the agreement, there is surely a solution to it. Break down the situation in your mind and realize that there is always room for growth and you are not bound by your past or by the beliefs of others.

If you asked yourself the above questions, and feel that there may be some validity to the agreements that you wish to break, ask yourself this question:

Can the situation be remedied?

Is it possible that you could be more careful in the future and thus, ‘not be clumsy’ anymore? Look to see if there are classes that you can take, or research that you could do to educate yourself about the limiting belief/agreement that you’ve made.

Journal and Affirm

Once you’ve identified the agreement and applied the applicable steps, journal about it. Write as much as you need to about the agreement. What it is, how it makes you feel, whether or not it’s valid, and the steps that you are taking to improve yourself.

Break the Agreement by saying aloud: “I break the agreement of____________________________ . This no longer has any influence over my life.” Say the affirmation as often as you need, so that you believe it and program your mind to release that harmful belief.

You can also research or create affirmations to encourage new agreements that you’d like to place in your life instead.

Never underestimate the power of your mind! You can do anything you set your mind to do!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls

10 Tips for Effective Time Management

Time Management

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Have you ever thought to yourself that there aren’t enough hours in the day, or felt overwhelmed at the tasks facing you? I know I absolutely have. And if you have as well, this blog can help you!

  1. Clarify your goals and strategy

 Be very clear about your aims and ambitions, both short and long term. Write them down. Once you know what you really want to achieve (and why) it’s easier to make decisions about what needs to be done, and to plan accordingly.

  1. Focus on your top priorities

You’ll be more productive and profitable if you identify and focus on the areas most important to your business. Work on the fundamentals first. The Latin word ‘fundamentum’ means foundation – so take action, build strong foundations and the rest should follow.

  1. Schedule time

Literally write an appointment in your work planner (you do have one of those, don’t you?) to set aside a realistic block of time for your priority actions. This reduces anxiety over not having enough time and keeps you focused.

  1. Say no!

Consider Jim Rohn’s suggestion. “Learn how to say no. Don’t let your mouth overload your back.” Always check your schedule before committing to anything new. Don’t allow others to divert you from your objectives.

  1. Create supportive systems

This includes systems for filing, management information and communication. Creating a system for the functions that you repeat most often enable you to complete the task more quickly and efficiently with practice. Create that system and then practice it!

  1. Take a reality check

Will your current activity have a positive outcome, or are you doing it to avoid something else? Ask yourself – will doing this take me towards my goal? As Peter F Drucker observed “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

  1. Delegate!

It’s tempting to do something yourself when you think you can do it faster and better. But consider the long term – delegation now will save time in the future, and if done appropriately can motivate your staff, boost their confidence, and help them develop their skills.

  1. Repeat your success

Remember the last time you accomplished something that you major, or something that you may have doubted yourself about. What strategies and techniques did you employ that made you so effective and focused? Can you repeat them? Alternatively, imagine you are going away tomorrow, and work through today accordingly.

  1. Balance your life

Formally schedule personal activities too, so you make time for family, friends, your health and fun because having a balanced life reduces stress and increases energy levels. Time management is really about life management!

  1. End the day

At the end of the working day, tidy your work area, make notes about what needs to be done tomorrow, and prioritize those tasks. Shift your focus from what you didn’t finish today, to what you did accomplish. Now, put down that list, take a few deep breaths and leave those responsibilities at your work station. Part of good time management is knowing and appreciating each part of the day for the part it plays. Rest is just as important as productivity, so be sure to manage your resting time as well.

I do hope that these tips are useful to you. Please feel free to share your thoughts!

Personal Development E-Books Available For Purchase for Under $8!

Click my link and select the book or books you’d like:

Love Thyself

Awaken Your True Calling

Gain Mental Clarity

The Gratitude Plan

https://www.linktr.ee/mimi.sums

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls!

The Benefits of Authentic Self- Love

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I have been working on some really useful content, and I’m happy to announce that I have personal development e-books available for purchase on SamCart that can help you change your life. At the moment, I have four e-books available:

Awaken Your True Calling

Gain Mental Clarity

The Gratitude Plan

Love Thyself

This week, I’m going to talk about the benefits of authentic self-love and highlight some of the points in my self-love e-book entitled Love Thyself. Enjoy!

Self-Love is the ultimate way to boost your self-esteem and become a fully healed and integrated human being. But so many people misunderstand what self-love truly is and how important it is to own our happiness. Truth be told, there are many people who do not have authentic self-love.

What is Self-Love?

There are many levels and descriptions of self-love and it can get complicated the more people you ask. To put it simply, self-love is honesty and acceptance of yourself. Self-Love is being in love with the person you are still evaluating yourself and striving to improve. Love literally powers the world. If you don’t love yourself, then you do not have power over yourself.

Here are some self-love exercises to help you strengthen your sense of self:

Shift Your Thoughts

The waking and sleeping hours are a prime time to master your thoughts and emotions. As you drift off to sleep, shift your thoughts to something positive or pleasant. These states are more powerful and set the tone for the rest of the day and night.

Journal

Keeping a gratitude journal is perfect for appreciating who you are and all that you have accomplished. The more you focus on things to be grateful for, the more things to be grateful for come to mind. A grateful mindset elevates your sense of self because you now have a positive mindset, and a positive mindset raises your level of self-love and self-awareness.

Prioritize Yourself

This is something that I mention in The Evolution as well. This step is paramount in the journey of self-love and self-discovery. Put yourself first with vacations, massages, extreme sports, concerts- whatever it is that you want to do. Unplug from technology and remove yourself from your everyday concerns for a few days or a few hours. You deserve supreme enjoyment, and it is what you are here for. Sadly, most people think that life is supposed to be a painful chore and create stress for themselves. Do not do this to yourself.

Do Not Interfere

Stop interfering with others at all costs. Unsolicited advice or actions from outside sources are rarely received well. Although we may have good intentions, interfering in someone else’s life is imposing our will on them and it is not our place to do that. It is important to be mindful of the boundaries of others, just as others should be mindful of your boundaries.

There seems to be some sort of virus going around where people are trying to make the world a better place by pointing out everything that’s wrong with the world and the people in it. But this is counterproductive. We must focus on ourselves as individuals first. If you do not focus on your own self-development, you will stifle yourself and elevation won’t be possible. And then you may find others interfering in your life in a similar fashion.

Meditate on Love

Meditation on love or focusing on the heart chakra is a chief recommendation among ancient spiritual scriptures. The heart chakra is a doorway to the higher self. If you put your energy there for extended periods of time, you’re sure to feel a wonderful shift and rise to your vibrational frequency. Heart work can be challenging, but it’s worth it.

Well, those are some of the highlights from the e-book. If you’d like more tips and self-love help, go ahead and purchase my e-book entitled Love Thyself.

You’re definitely worth it!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls…

Confidence Boost Part 2

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I know that I already did a blog on confidence, but since confidence is one of the pillars of self-love (and an area that I struggled in immensely) I thought I’d share a few more tips with you. These tips, along with the tips from the previous confidence boosting blog have helped me rebuild my confidence after my experience with narcissistic abuse and codependency. For best results, implement as many of these tips as you can into your everyday life.

Don’t Worry about what Others Think

This step is often over complicated by societal norms, expectations, and agreements that we’ve made- whether knowingly or unknowingly- throughout our lives. But we must get out of our heads, get out of our own way, remove those constructs and do what’s best for us no matter what people think of our actions.

Always Consider:

That a person’s opinions are solely based on their own perceptions and understanding.

That you are valid with or without the positive opinions or support of others.

That this is your life, so:

Be Fearless

You are a unique being and this is a unique experience. You will only do this once. Each person on earth, whether they are aware of it or not, is on a mission for personal happiness and fulfillment. You are absolutely deserving of happiness; in fact, it is your right to be happy in this life. True happiness can only be achieved when you do the things that bring you joy. You become fearless when you do the things that please you without fear of judgment and open up to change and opportunities that help you grow and elevate.

Be Yourself

What better way to be confident is there than being yourself? A lot of discontent is caused and further exacerbated by people being who other people want them to be rather than who they really are. When you free yourself from the expectations of others and be yourself your happiness will skyrocket! But who are you really? To discover your true self, you will need to do some honest self-evaluation and reflection. Spend some time alone, get to know yourself inside and out. This is a sure way to know, understand, and love yourself authentically. Once you find the real you- you wouldn’t want to be anyone else!

Monitor Your Progress

Take the process one day at a time and be gentle with yourself when you fall short of your expectations. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Years of programming is not likely to fall away in a week or two. This process is not to be rushed. It takes time and consistent effort. Be aware of your emotions, energy shifts that you may feel, and things that trigger you. Trust yourself and do not ignore your intuition. These feelings work as a signal light to let you know that something needs to be fixed or adjusted. And don’t be afraid to call in reinforcements! Statistically, people are much more likely to complete a task when they create a plan or have an accountability partner.

I really help that these tips do you some good. I apply them to my life and they are doing great things for my confidence.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls!

Find your Focus

Hello beautiful souls! 💖

Have you ever experienced an obstacle or road block while trying to accomplish a goal? I think we all have. As we set out to accomplish goals in our lives it’s commonplace to encounter an obstacle here and there. But sometimes the discouragement and frustration caused by those obstacles can throw us off track and cause us to lose focus.

When we experience the feelings of discouragement and frustration, it is important not to give way to those emotions. We must only acknowledge them and allow them to pass. Once you let the negative feelings pass you must refocus and continue to apply effort. Know with a certainty that success is always on the other side of effort. It’s only a matter of time.

If you are having trouble finding your focus after a setback or obstacle, here are some helpful tips to find your focus and get your mind back onto your goals!

1. Think Positive

You may be thinking ‘easier said than done’, right? But in this context what I mean by ‘be positive’ is don’t quit mentally. Believe in yourself and know that there is a solution to every single problem you face. Process the obstacle as a learning experience and look for the good in it. Move forward knowing that there are better days ahead!

2. Keep A Clear, Open Mind

Always be ready to receive new ideas. Focus and concentrate. Think in a wide scale manner and always be open to new options that eliminate your obstacle. Brainstorming with peers, coworkers, or a coach is a great way to stir up some new ideas as well as refocus.

Meditation is a wonderful way to regain focus. When you meditate, you still the mind and get rid of excess noise. Excess noise is anything that distracts you from your current goal. It could be day to day nuances or huge life events that present themselves at the most inconvenient times. Either way, meditation can help you slow down your thoughts and reign in the ego. When the ego is subdued it is easier to have positive thoughts. Those positive thoughts create more positive thoughts. And with the increase of positive thoughts you begin to feel happy, relaxed, and full of gratitude. This is the best state of mind for goal setting and focus.

3. Persist and Persevere

Be sure to exhaust every possibility. Do not be afraid of trial and error. Exploring every option and aspect will increase knowledge and experience in your desired area. This knowledge, in turn will lead you to accomplish your goal with continued effort. Remember: Success is always on the other side of effort.

4. Simulate

Try to picture in your head a possible solution to help overcome and/or solve the problem you are having and return your focus to your goal.

Visualization is a really good way to simulate. Visualization is powerful because the subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish your concentrated thoughts from your reality. With diligence, your mind will accept your visualizations and work to create the reality that you visualize.

How to Visualize

Relax. Close your eyes and try to see as many accurate details as you can. For example, if you want a car, visualize the make, model, color, year, and interior of the car you want. If you can, go a bit further and imagine the fresh car smell and feel yourself sitting in the driver seat. When you think often of a thing your brain creates it. So why not think of positive things that you’d like to create? When you visualize, you can literally see it happening!

5. Ask for Help

If all fails, get assistance from others you know who are more knowledgeable on the work being done. Even if their suggestions are not the exact ones you were hoping to hear, they may trigger some new ideas and ways for you to refocus, set your goals, and find the solution to your problem.

You got this!

Until next time, beautiful souls! 💖

2 Keys to Boosting Your Inner Confidence

Hello Beautiful souls! I’ve been spreading myself a bit thin over the last several weeks. I’ve been writing my book, working on content, preparing to launch my life coaching business, while working my 9 to 5. From now on, my blogs will be posted on this site as well as my patreon site so that more people are able to see it.

http://www.patreon.com/glowwithmimi

I would really like as many people to see it as possible; so if you know someone that may benefit from my blogs- please share! Let’s build each other up. I want to help as many people find their inner glow as I can.

During my journey of self discovery and my evolution to becoming a life coach, I’ve learned one very important thing – inner confidence is the key to it all.

There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they’re all redundant if the foundation isn’t there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the three keys to real inner confidence.

1. Get To Know Your Values

Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. I make no apology for that though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are; and they’re the building blocks, the foundations and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that’s most important to you, and could include things like beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement or freedom.

Why is it that some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated or deflated? It’s because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed or repressed – and we experience that as a negative experience because it’s denying a fundamental piece of who you are. You know those times when you’ve felt really alive, amazing or buzzing? Those are the times when one or more of your values are being honored, and you can get more of that by living according to them.

Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. You can have absolute confidence in them because they’re there all the time just waiting for you to notice and use them. When you get to know your values, you can start to make choices and align your life around them. It’s so simple and it feels amazing because all that really means is that you’re allowing who you are to live in the real world.

2. Exercise the Muscle

Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle you need to exercise it so that it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. How do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results you were looking for.

It’s just the same with confidence. Let’s say that you’re the kind of person that doesn’t take many risks, the kind of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you think to yourself ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘that’s not who I am’ or ‘I don’t really want it anyway.’ That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be and so the less confident they become.

To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, to try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, what you do and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity and possibility the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you’ll develop. That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?”

That is the question that I had to ask myself. What am I going to do to exercise it?

And now, I pose that same question to you. What are you going to do to exercise your muscle?

Let me know in the comments. 🙂

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls