3 Keys to Motivation & Self-Improvement

Hey Boo!

What are the three keys to self-improvement and motivation? Let’s get into it.

INSPIRATION

Inspiration is critical to staying motivated and improving oneself. If you are not interested in your business, your motivation level will never be high, and you will not be able to sustain productivity or success for very long.

Take an honest look at your inspiration level. Are you excited about going to work or is it an obligation? You would be surprised at the number of people who choose a business that looks good on paper but does not interest them in the least.

These individuals will grow weary and uninterested pretty quickly because they have no inspiration or passion to sustain them during the difficult times they will encounter as a small business owner.

If you do not like your work, then think about how you can refocus your small business (career, schooling, etc) to better match your needs. Or consider making a change entirely. Without inspiration, they will not be motivated to even try self-improvement.

SETTING GOALS

Short and long-term goal setting is vital for any business owner. (If you aren’t a business owner, consider your employment or other important task) If you do not set goals, you would have no definite purpose on which path of self-improvement to take.

How could you possibly be motivated if you were unsure about the direction of your company?

Take the time to put your goals in writing. A business plan may sound daunting, but it is really nothing more than goals, strategies, implementation and a budget. Write your own business plan and update it at least annually. Or find someone who can help you do that.

Include “mini-goals” that can be accomplished in a matter of hours, days or weeks as well as the more ambitious “grand-goals” that may take years to complete. Refer to this plan throughout the year.

But can a business plan really help motivate you? Of course. Written goals will make you feel more professional and certainly more connected to your business. It will also free you from having to reinvent your business goals every single day.

NETWORKING

Another key factor in getting and staying motivated is networking with other small business owners. No one person knows all the knowledge.

In fact, the isolation of working alone is one of the most difficult parts of being an entrepreneur. You can never be on your way to self improvement without the help of others. Mutual support is motivating.

However, when a number of people begin working together, the challenges will just be there waiting to be conquered.

Make it easier on yourself by connecting with others either in your community or online. Even when businesses are not related, you will often find common ground and ways to work together.

Many successful entrepreneurs report that finding the right networking group was a turning point in the growth of the business. Working together, a networking group can help its members generate more qualified sales leads and solve problems faster and more efficiently.

Sharing ideas, expertise and experience is also an invaluable aspect of motivation and self-improvement.

Your own personal team of business owners will help re-energize you when the burdens of running your own business seem too much.

With your networking team to rely on, you can accomplish more in less time and probably have more fun in the process. You will feel motivated to accomplish self-improvement when you know you are not alone.

Until next time beautiful soul keep glowing…

There’s No Time Like Now

Hey Boo!

Most people in our culture today are so busy running around trying to arrange their lives to be somewhere else. We all want to be somewhere else geographically or financially or in our relationships. We want to be anywhere but here as we’ve been led to believe that if only we can be somewhere else then our lives would be perfect. This escapism acts like a drug that only gives temporary relief to a chronic problem.

Apart from wanting to be somewhere else, most people today also live by a philosophy of “someday” that allows them to manipulate time. “I can do it, but just not today. I’ll do it when…” and they use these excuses to stay in their comfort zones. The problem is that both someday and somewhere are undefined and illusionary. Somewhere does not exist and someday never comes, although you keep hoping that it does. This can be very disempowering and is responsible for a lot of disappointment and frustration for a lot of people.

The truth, however, is that right now is all you’ve really got. Tomorrow is never promised to you and learning to fully live in and for the moment is a vital distinction to make in creating a great life. Being grateful does not mean that you lose your drive or purpose but allows you to slow down and really enjoy the ride. Not only is it healthy to want more from life, but it is also required to be truly fulfilled and knowing where you are is critical in getting where you want to be. Using someday as an excuse to soften your problems will not create long term success and fulfilment. Be honest with yourself and stop making excuses only to make yourself feel better. A little pain can be very useful as it will move you to action. There is always something you can do right now to turn your ideas into reality. There is always one small step you can take.

One of the most powerful resources you have is resourcefulness. This means that right now you have all that you need to achieve whatever you desire and that you have the ability to take action with exactly what you’ve got and exactly where you are. You do not have to wait for “someday when” or “when I am…” before you act on your dreams and goals. The smallest idea acted upon can make all the difference as it immediately makes your idea real and smothers someday because you used your will to consciously take charge.

It is important to realize that the purpose of pursuing a goal or a dream is not just in achieving it but even more so in the experience of achieving it. You do not travel for the purpose of reaching a destination but for the purpose of travelling. Whatever dream or goal you are pursuing you will probably spend more time in pursuit of it than actually achieving it and most goals are an anti-climax when you actually achieve them anyway. The process is where true fulfilment comes from and the actual experience is what makes you become something instead of accumulating something. If you can’t be happy and grateful without your goal, then chances are that you won’t be happy and grateful with it.

Live in the present but know where you are going. Be right here and celebrate and capture the magical moments of your life. Hold on to them as the treasures you get to take with you into your magnificent future. Life is not just lived in the moment but also created in the moment. Now is the best time to design the next ten years of your life. Let your thoughts and knowledge serve you through action. Action is what eventually determines your destiny. Move confidently in the direction of your choosing and don’t get seduced by the popular belief that someday things will come your way or someday your luck will change. You are the source and the creator of your own prosperity, and it all starts with a sense of immense gratitude for everything you already have exactly where you are right now. One of the greatest privileges you have in life is that you can start right now with exactly what you’ve got to create anything you desire as the ultimate resources to life are within you.

Living in a place called somewhere really won’t serve you long term although it might feel good as a short-term escape or excuse. Having to constantly lie to yourself that you will act on your true desires some day when x, y or z is just right will only create an unnecessary burden. When you turn your “someday” philosophy into a “same day” philosophy you can start to adopt the mindset where you take action on your ideas immediately with exactly what you’ve got and exactly where you are.

What someday and somewhere really comes down to is that you falsely admit to yourself that what you need is not available to you. This creates a belief that you are not in control of your life but that you are waiting for something else somewhere else before you can take charge. Ironically, you will only get full access to your true resources when you take action exactly where you are with exactly what you’ve got, despite your excuses. True happiness and gratitude never rely on external conditions but is purely determined by your evaluation of where you are now. Now contains the seed of the rest of your life. Plant it with joy and water it with gratitude and rejoice in your life for you are its creator.

Until Next time beautiful souls, keep glowing..

4 Simple Tips to Improve your Communication Skills

If you struggle with breaking the ice, read this:

Hey Boo!

Have you ever been to a function in a room full of strangers and found yourself at a loss for words?

The art of introducing yourself to others and creating small talk may come natural for some, but most people confess to feeling shy, embarrassed and don’t know where to start. I’m definitely the latter. I’ve always been introverted and struggled with social anxiety that made it difficult to initiate conversation with others. The best way to begin communicating with a person you know little about is to use levels of communication.

There are four levels of communication: Small talk, fact disclosure, share viewpoints and opinions, and share personal opinions.

Small Talk

In new relationships or acquaintances the safest place to start is to talk about surface issues. For instance, make a comment about the weather, current events or the surroundings you are in.

This is called “small talk” and is used to “size up” the other person to determine the comfort zone between the two of you. There is no need to disclose any personal information with the other person at this stage, as this initial interaction assists you to determine how “safe” they are on your first meeting.

If you are comfortable with each other at a surface level you can easily slip into the next level of communication: fact disclosure.

Fact Disclosure

Fact disclosure is slightly deeper than small talk in that you disclose facts about yourself without triggering topics of emotional interest.

The purpose of fact disclosure is to find out if you have something in common. You can use these common areas to build a friendship. You may want to talk about your career, occupation, hobbies, or where you live.

Avoid topics like marriage, divorce, politics, sex and religion in this second level of communication. If you find a topic of mutual interest you may want to progress to the next level of communication: sharing viewpoints and opinions.

-Share Viewpoints and Opinions

Once you have established that the other person is “safe” through small talk, and have found areas of common interest, you can build rapport by sharing your opinions and viewpoints.

By sharing your viewpoints and opinions you allow yourself to become vulnerable to the scrutiny and objections of the other person. Remember that although there is a risk, there could be an even greater reward: a meaningful connection. Enter this level of communication once you are comfortable that you both share positive feelings through the first two levels.

Be prepared to listen to the opinions of your new friend. This will enable your friendship to survive and thrive.

Make sure you don’t use your opinions as a form of “character assassination” of other people. You may be thought of as a negative person and this may cause your new friend to distance himself/herself from you. Once you’ve established positive results on this level of communication you may move to the fourth level of communication.

The fourth level of communication is sharing personal feelings. Solid friendships over time usually enter this fourth level of communication.

Share Personal Feelings

After building upon trust, finding things in common and listening to the viewpoints and opinions of others, you may be able to share your personal feelings. This is when an acquaintance becomes a genuine friend.

Things of deep value to you can be shared without feeling threatened. You listen closely to each other without the need to “solve” your friend’s problem. You are happy to reflect their feelings back to them – forming a bond of empathy and compassion between the two of you.

At this level of communication, it is important that you provide space and autonomy between yourself and your friend. If the distinction between yourself and your friend becomes unrecognizable, it is possible that your relationship will go sour. If you know how to handle your own feelings, attitudes and behaviors while maintaining your friendship at this level, you will build a successful friendship that can last a lifetime.

Always remember that there will be some people that you do not establish a friendship with, even following the four levels of communication- and that’s okay. The truth of the matter is that not everyone will be your friend. Do not take this as rejection or you not being loveable. This is simply a matter of preference, and each person is allowed to choose the energy they want to be around. Keep connecting and shining your light!

That’s all for this week beautiful soul. Until Next Time, Keep Glowing…

Do you have a Worthiness Wound?

What a Worthiness Wound is and How to Heal it.

Hey Boo!

As some of you may know, I’ve been doing a Heal Your Worthiness Wounds Challenge on my social medial platforms. Well, as the challenge went on, I received a question from a follower that wasn’t quite sure if he had a worthiness wound or not. I thought that this could be someone else’s experience as well, so I put together a blog so that we can talk about what a worthiness wound is and how to recognize it if you have one.

A worthiness wound is a deep-seated belief that a person is inadequate, less than, or undeserving. These wounds can form during childhood or as a result of a traumatic relationship. Worthiness wounds can hinder your personal growth and lead to self-sabotage, so it’s very important that these wounds are identified so that you can heal and flourish in life.

Here is how worthiness wounds appear in your everyday life and hold you back from becoming your best self and having a pretty awesome life. Do any of these apply to you?

You doubt yourself and your abilities

You are afraid to take risks

You are afraid of failure

You are afraid of success

You feel unworthy of love and happiness

You feel like you have to do everything perfectly

You feel like you are not good enough

You put others needs before your own

You compare yourself to others and feel like you come up short

You give up easily

Did you see yourself in any of these examples? Do you have a worthiness wound?

Worthiness Wounds and Self-Sabotage

If worthiness wounds aren’t addressed, they lead to all kinds of self-sabotaging behavior. Here are some examples:

Staying at a job you hate because you don’t think you can find another one.

Staying in an unhealthy relationship because you don’t feel worthy of love and respect.

Tolerating bad treatment from others because you don’t feel worthy enough to set boundaries.

Not pursuing your dreams because you don’t feel adequate to achieve them.

Constantly comparing yourself to others and not feeling good enough.

Allowing others to take advantage of you because you don’t feel like you deserve better.

Having a hard time accepting compliments because you don’t believe that you deserve them.

Finding it difficult to ask for help because you believe that you should be able to do everything on your own.

Constantly putting yourself down and focusing on your flaws instead of your strengths.

Are you experiencing any of these things? Can you think of any other examples of self-sabotage that have come up in your life after reading this?

If after reading this you feel that you have a worthiness wound, you can find the Heal Your Worthiness Wounds challenge journaling prompts that I’ve shared on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. Happy healing Boo!

Until next time beautiful soul, keep glowing…

4 Simple Steps to Conquer Self Esteem

Hey Boo!

Since we’ve been talking about worthiness lately, I thought it would be fitting to blog about self-esteem. Self-esteem plays a vital role in your sense of worthiness, and if you’re wounded in that area it can be quite a fight to recover from it. But you can win the battle over low self esteem with these 4 simple steps…

Affirmations

Affirmations are simply positive things that you say out loud to yourself every day. This can be very difficult at times because you may not actually believe what you are saying. SO why would you say something to yourself that you don’t believe?

Increased self esteem has to start with you. So, if you are shy and intimidated by people, start to say something like the following: I am self assured and charismatic. I am confident while speaking with others.

Repeat this to yourself out loud at least 10 times before you leave your room. When you say this, don’t just mumble it either, say it as many times as necessary until you say it with passion and conviction.

Read to grow

Again, increased self esteem starts with you. Read something everyday for at least 15 minutes that will help you increase your self esteem. This can be an article, a book, or even an audio series. The more you learn the more you will grow. The more you grow, the more your self esteem will improve.

Take action everyday

Do something every day, starting with something small, that directly deals with your low self esteem. For instance, if you can’t talk with people because you feel insecure and inferior, just start off by saying ‘Hi’. As you get more comfortable with this, then start to make small talk. You will begin to feel more confident and more confident until one day, you will find that you have overcome low self-esteem in that area.

Stop the negative thoughts

Negative thoughts are like landmines. As soon as you step out to face your fear, a negative thought comes and tells you that you can’t do it and BOOM; you believe it and lose that round. Instead, diffuse negative thoughts before they have a chance to do damage.

A great way to do this is with a rubber band! Put a rubber band around your wrist. Every time a thought comes into your head that tells you that you can’t, you will never succeed, you are a loser, or anything negative, SNAP the rubber band on your wrist.

You may be snapping that band until your wrist is red and sore. Before long though, you will stop the negative thoughts because you don’t want to hurt your wrist anymore.

These four steps will help you increase your self esteem and become the person you really want to be. Just remember this: you are not going to change over night. It will take time but as long as you are progressing, you are winning the war.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Shifting Negatives Into Positives

Hey Boo!

If you want to move your life ahead, you should replace the negatives in your life with positives. This article will show you how to take the negative influences in your life away and replace them with positives, so you will have increases in morale, and productivity. Focus on the positive for success and peak performance.

Most of us are not aware of the amount of negative influences in our lives. We are bombarded with negative messages from the media, the people around us, and most damaging of all, ourselves.

The first step in the process in replacing negatives with positives in your life is to make a decision to start looking for the negative messages and ways to replace them with positives. Decide that you will focus on the positive in this world.

Begin to drastically cut down on the amount of news you take in. Most people start their day with the news. And of course most of the news is bad news, fires, floods, etc. Then it is on to traffic and weather, which also stresses the negatives. So, by the time you have finished your coffee, you have had enough bad news to last a week. Does all this bad news make you want to throw open the door and happily charge into the bright, new day? Quite the opposite, right? And how about the way we end the day? Many of us watch the news before going to bed and get a big dose of negative information just before trying to go to sleep. Is it any wonder so many people have trouble sleeping? The mood we are in before we go to sleep carries over to the next morning, so you are setting yourself up for starting the next day in a bad mood. Odds are you don’t need all that negative information you are taking in from the news, and you will function just fine without it.

Replace the news you were taking in with such things as motivational tapes, uplifting music and sites that stress good news. Also reading empowering books helps a great deal. Books can be a fantastic way to recharge your life. Look for success stories, biographies of successful people, etc and see what works for you. You will begin to feel better immediately.

Your next step is to limit the amount of TV you watch. A recent study showed that 78% of the people watching TV are not interested in the program they are watching at any given time. So, watching TV is probably making you bored at best, and taking you away from activities that would be more fun. Prime time is the period when most people are watching TV; you can make it your prime time by turning off the TV and using that time to move your life ahead.

Next you need to limit your exposure to negative people. Most people don’t realize how draining it is to be around negative people, but they drain your energy and spirit in many ways. Negative people pull you down, so work to remove them from your life to the extent you can. Never get involved in the office pity party, or complaint sessions that come your way. Seek out people that support you and that you feel good being around and use these people to replace the negative people in your life.

The most damaging source of negativity is ourselves. Most of us generate lots of negative self talk that our minds accept as the truth and results in our being held back in many ways. We focus on our shortcomings, our problems, and spend our time predicting more bad news for ourselves, generating lots of fear and worry, while undercutting our ability to try new things, etc. Begin to focus on the positive aspects of you. What are your unique strengths, what have you accomplished, how are you different from other people? Use visualization and affirmations to build images of yourself accomplishing the things you want and use these to replace the negative images. Give yourself lots of credit for everything you do right, so you are getting even more positive news about yourself. Also, set aside three minutes every day to think about all the good things you have in your life right now. The process of thinking of the good things in your life, will generate good feelings for you that will last much of the day.

Don’t forget to take care of your body. Eat foods that fuel your body for the day ahead, (Im’ still working on that myself) cut out some bad habits and get regular exercise in order to boost your self-esteem while building your strength and endurance, so you can accomplish more.

Helping others will also help you feel better about yourself. Take time to get involved in a charity, animal shelter, or other activities that help others. You will get good feedback and positive energy from others and develop a genuine sense of pride and accomplishment. Remember that what you put out comes back to you, so make sure it is good that goes out.

By replacing the negatives in your life with positives, you will make yourself and probably the world a better place. You will feel better mentally and physically, plus accomplish many of the things you want to. Nothing is ever accomplished without action, so start now to move your life ahead.

Until next time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

4 Personal Development Power Tips

Hey Boo!

No matter what your dream is, working on your personal development is sure to get you there. Personal Development, at its basis, is anything that allows us to grow into an ordered life that is of our choosing. This is one of the most cherished goals among self-improvement practitioners. There are some excellent methods available for achieving it. However, it is easier said than done. Here are a few hints and tips to get you started.

Clean the clutter from your life

There is a personal development saying, “a tidy desk is a tidy mind”. Oftentimes, your outer environment is a reflection of the way you think and feel. Is your living or working space always cluttered? It’s important that you start to order your environment to reflect the ordered life you are building. Clear away unnecessary clutter from your surroundings. This may sound like a meaningless task but you are sending a very clear message to your subconscious mind that you intend to get organized. When you begin to organize your living and working environment it allows you to develop the basic skills needed for organizing your life. This can be achieved through goals. You should structure your goals in such a way that each one builds on the other and ensure that they are not in opposition to one another.

Don’t be too set on achieving your goals in exactly the manner you intend to

A major factor in the non-attainment of goals is the inability to restructure plans and change direction when circumstances dictate these should be done. Remain flexible.

Don’t focus on the mistakes

Simply analyze them and learn the lesson they are trying to teach you. By staying focused on your failures, problems or toils you are actually creating more of them, or at least keeping them in your experience. Focus on the solutions or at least focus on the fact “you’re still in the game”. You still have the opportunity to learn, grow, and turn things around. Consider any mistakes you’ve made as life lessons. Apply what you have learned from them and use them as references (of what not to do) in the future.

Make sure you follow through on your plans

Persistence can accomplish things that nothing else can. How many times were you close to the end of the rainbow, and without even knowing how close you were, you quit? You may be someone who has drive at the start of a venture but finds your enthusiasm waning as you progress, lacking the motivation that is needed to “keep you keeping on” during times of hardship. Those who persist, especially in times like these, are those who ALWAYS win!

Key Takeaways:

To increase clarity and encourage organization, be sure to keep your work environment clean and clutter-free. Remember that your outer environment I often an indication of how you think and feel.

Don’t be so dogmatic when it comes to the how. Have a goal and plan of action to get you going in the right direction, but keep in mind that things may not go exactly as you planned down to the letter.

Don’t harp on the mistakes that you make along the way. It’s part of the journey. Learn from your mistakes and move on. It’s okay.

Be sure to follow through! We sometimes self-sabotage by not being consistent. The only way that you can truly fail is if you give up.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep glowing…

How to Develop a Motivated Mindset

Having trouble finding the silver lining? This might help.

Hey Boo!

From time to time, we find ourselves in a rut. We seem to lose our zest for life and feel tired, irritable and unmotivated. We want to hide under the covers rather than face the day. Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed by work and adulting or just bored with the routine of your daily life.

You are not alone love. We all go through periods like this at some point. The good news is that we can do something about it. Here are some tips to help break out of the rut and feel excited about life again:

Take a “Time Out” – Prolonged stress can wear us down and zap any enthusiasm we once had. Before doing anything else, take a few minutes to breathe and just BE. Empty your mind of all stress and worry. This takes practice, but don’t give up! As thoughts come into your mind, gently push them back out and continue to keep your mind empty and calm. Take slow, deep breaths and let all of your muscles relax. Sit quietly and recharge your batteries. Try to do this daily, or even twice daily (morning and night). We need quiet time as much as we need anything else in life. Give yourself the gift of inner peace.

Get Inspired – Read something motivational, inspirational or uplifting. Look at some beautiful nature photos or read something you find funny. Consciously move your thoughts to a more positive place. Focusing on nothing but work and our daily tasks in life can leave us feeling pretty uninspired. It’s easy to turn it around if we want to. We just have to seek out things that will lift our spirits and our moods. Make it a point to laugh, be happy, joyful and lighthearted each day. Don’t wait for inspiration to come knocking on your door, go out and find it, or create it. Conjure up some funny or touching memories. Write them in a journal so you can go back and read them when you’re feeling down.

Get Excited – Think about the things you have planned for the day and rekindle the enthusiasm you once felt for them. When we first begin a new project, or start a new job, we are excited about the possibilities and eager to get moving! Over time, we can lose that enthusiasm for a variety of reasons. Travel back in time for a moment and think about what got you so excited at the beginning. What made your heartbeat a little faster? Recapture that feeling and hang onto it! Even if your tasks aren’t anything to be really excited about, at least think of some positive benefits to doing them. For example, list the ways they will benefit your children, your spouse, yourself, your job or your home. Identify the reward and focus on that. Even mundane tasks have some benefits. Sometimes it’s just a matter of switching our mindset to see the positive side.

Baby Steps – Sometimes the hardest part is actually getting started. A project seems so monstrous that we cringe at the thought of all that time and energy we’ll have to expend. Instead of overwhelming yourself, start small. Set a timer for 15 minutes and just start working on it. Allow yourself to stop after 15 minutes if you really want to. But most often, once we actually start working on something, we won’t want to stop. Don’t focus on the big picture, look at the smaller details and take them on one at a time. Any large task seems manageable once we break it down into smaller steps.

Care of the Body – Sometimes our feelings of fatigue are caused by physical deficiencies, not mental. Be sure you are getting enough rest, eating food that nourishes your body, drinking enough water, getting enough exercise, etc. Especially when we’re very busy, we tend to grab the quickest, easiest meals, which aren’t always the best choice for our bodies. Eating a lot of highly processed foods and sugar is like putting watered-down gasoline into our cars. In order for our cars to run smoothly, we need to maintain them properly, and so it is with our bodies also. Remember, the body is the vehicle for the mind and soul!

Finally, remember to reward yourself from time to time, and be gentle with yourself! There will always be things that “need” to be done. But some of us take on way more than we can handle, and our lives turn into a pit of drudgery because of it. Try to eliminate the things that truly don’t bring you joy, or at least minimize the time you spend on them. Do what you can, and let the rest go. Or ask for help. Don’t feel you have to do everything yourself.

Remember that motivation, just like happiness, is something we CHOOSE. We may need to give ourselves a little push at the beginning, but once we get into the right mindset, it’s simple to stay there if we so desire.

Until Next time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

6 Steps to Activating and Applying Behavioral Change

Do you REALLY want to make change in your life??

Hey Boo!

Without change there is stagnancy, and stagnancy eventually brings death.

In order to truly live, you must grow, and the requirement of growth is that you experience new things that open your perspective so that you evolve and become better. Hence, we cannot truly live without becoming better, and we cannot become better without change. But what kind of change?

The only kind of change that truly matters is behavioral change. We cannot change the people around us, nor can we avoid certain circumstances in life. The only thing that we can really change is ourselves. When we change our behavior, we empower ourselves to elevate in various aspects of life. Activating and applying behavioral change is the key to elevation and living the life you truly want. There are six steps and we are going to walk through them right now.

Step 1: Clarify Values for Each Life Domain

This really just means ‘write down what’s most important to you in each area of your life. What goals would you like to accomplish mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally?

For example: I want to make ‘x’ amount of dollars a month. That would be your value for your financial domain.

Once you’ve placed a value in each life domain you want to improve, move on to step two.

Step 2: Identify Life Giving Activities

Life giving activities are the things that you do that give you a feeling of accomplishment or bring enjoyment to your life. Some people become so focused on achieving goals that they cut out enjoyment and spend all of their available time with their noses to the grindstone. They believe that enjoyment is distracting them from achievement and hyperfocus is the answer. But unfortunately, hyper focusing on goals creates the opposite effect of the one desired. Instead of making more progress, it’s more likely that you become bitter, experience burnout, and possibly give up on the goal altogether.

The truth is, enjoyment is not frivolous, it is necessary. The best way to accomplish your goals is to identify life giving activities that bring enjoyment and align with your goals.

For example: One of my life-giving activities is writing. In my opinion, writing is art. It’s the first form of self expression that I ever embraced and has a special place in my heart. I can use my life-giving activity of writing to bring myself enjoyment, feel a sense of accomplishment, and aid in accomplishing my goal of reaching 10k beautiful souls per month.

Other lifegiving activities such as painting, dancing, listening to music are for my enjoyment and although they may not necessarily provide a sense of accomplishment or help achieve a goal, these activities serve as a form of reward or celebration and can also provide balance. (Work hard, play hard.)

So, for step two I want you to write down life-giving activities. They don’t all have to align with your goals but if they do, that’s awesome!

Step 3: Rate the Difficulty of Each Activity

Take a moment to rate the level of difficulty for each of the lifegiving activities that you’ve written down. What steps do you need to take to begin and/or complete these activities?

Step 4: Plan the Order of Completion

Now that you have an idea of how challenging each activity will be, you can plan which activity you want to start with. Are there any life-giving activities that you can start with right now?

Step 5: Schedule Activities Into A Calendar

How’s it going so far Boo? At this point you should have a list of goals for every aspect of your life, selected life-giving activities that align with your goals or provide balance and enjoyment. You should also have rated the level of difficulty for each activity and selected which activity you’re starting with. The more specific you are about scheduling and executing your plans, the more likely you are to complete them.

Since you’ve chosen your starting activity, go ahead and schedule that activity on your calendar. When scheduling the activity in your calendar it’s important to be realistic about the time it takes to complete the task. If it is a particularly large task or you’re dealing with time restrictions, it’s best to break bigger tasks into smaller steps to prevent overwhelm and ensure completion.

Which leads us to step 6…

Step 6: Complete the Activities

While accomplishing your goals remember to be fully present during the activity. Appreciating the moment that you are in is a very important part of the process.

Yay! You did it Boo! You have successfully activated behavioral change in your life.

Here are a few tips on how to apply and maintain the changes you’ve just made.

-Build a game plan around your goals and work progressively toward them.

Remember that every bit of progress counts.

-Think holistically

Progress in different areas of your life can be mutually beneficial and reinforcing.

-Make sure tasks are rewarding.

Life giving activities help you stay consistent while enjoying the journey at the same time.

-Remember to break down big tasks.

Make sure the task is small enough to get started and then work on it steadily to ensure continued success.

-Plan activities for specific times.

Are you a morning person or a night owl? Plan activities for the time of day where you would be most productive and attentive.

–Make yourself accountable.

Write down your plans on your calendar to stay abreast of what you need to do. An accountability partner is also a great way to make sure that you stay diligent in the pursuit of your goals.

–Address negative thoughts.

Sometimes negative self-talk and self-doubt starts to creep in. Remember that this can happen in various parts of your journey and it’s normal. Remind yourself of your why and counteract your negative self-talk with positive affirmations and facts about how capable you are.

-Focus on completing one task at a time.

You may feel more productive to multi-task, but the more tasks you do at once the greater the margin for error. For the best, most consistent result start with one task and move on to the next only upon completion.

-Track your activities.

This tip is especially helpful as it serves as a form of accountability and encourages consistency. Tracking what activities you do and when you do them can also help you see what you are or aren’t doing consistently. Tracking your activities can also make you aware of trends in your behavior whether positive or negative.

Well Boo, that’s all I have for this week. If this blog was helpful to you, please share it. Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

You Made Me Who I am Today, But if I Never Saw You Again it Would be Too Soon.

Hey Boo!

For this week’s blog, I thought I’d do something different. A week or so ago, I saw a post from a content creator expressing love and gratitude to the person who helped them elevate to their current level of being. It brought me joy to see the post, but it also caused me to reflect on the person who made me who I am today and that’s not quite as joyful a story. I want to share some of my story with you in the form of a letter. Here goes:

Dear “Deion”,

A lot has happened since we last spoke. It’s been over two years since we’ve had any communication at all, and I know that’s not what you wanted, but it’s what I needed. I blocked you on social media, changed my number and stopped responding to your e-mails because it was clear that you were still unwilling to claim any responsibility for the way our marriage fell apart. My jaw hit the floor when I read your line about how ‘if anyone was afraid, it should be you’. I was amazed and appalled, especially since it was me who was threatened with a steel pipe and chased away from my home on foot.

I won’t mince words- our marriage was a complete disaster. From the very beginning you weren’t honest about who you were. You lied about your age, how many children you had, and your criminal history just to name a few things. The thing about that is if you were honest from the beginning, I may have still given you a chance. I thought you were a decent guy and my heart went out to you as you talked about the women in your past and how they’d done you wrong. I had experienced similar hurt and betrayal and just wanted someone I could love freely who would reciprocate. I thought that I’d found that in you. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.

You looked me in my eyes as I shared my pain, vulnerabilities, and fears and you vowed to be different. And I guess you didn’t lie because you were different. You turned out to be much worse than anything I’d encountered before.

The first few months were blissful. You were caring, thoughtful, and attentive. You looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life. You told me that you’d never met a woman like me, and you appreciated all of the things that I did for you out of love. You said you loved everything about me- how I dressed and presented myself, my intelligence and personality, even my goals and aspirations. I had written and self-published a book and you had offered to help me promote it on social media. I was so happy to be your wife. I would’ve went to the ends of the earth for you because I loved you. And you loved me too, right?

Wrong.

After the first few months, I never saw the man I married again. Your representative had disappeared, and I was left with something that you had actually never shared with me, your true self. You started complaining about the very things you claimed to love and understand. We began to fight a lot and I made changes to keep the peace. You didn’t want me working, so I quit. You felt like social media was causing problems in our marriage, so I disconnected. I changed how I dressed so that you wouldn’t think I was ‘trying to look good for someone else’. Essentially, I tried to become everything you wanted me to be. But even that wasn’t enough. Every time I met your expectations, you created new ones for me to meet. As I put in more effort, you put in even less. The fighting increased and intensified to the point of exhaustion. Sometimes things got physical, and let’s not forget the night you could’ve ended both of our lives.

It may seem like I’m trying to dump all of the blame on you, but I’m not. Although youdid a lot of very hurtful things to me, it was I who allowed them. I take responsibility for my lack of self-esteem, poor boundaries, and codependency. I acknowledge that there were red flags that I ignored because I was already so convinced that you were the one. I made excuses for you and dismissed things that I shouldn’t have.

During the course of our marriage, I gained over 60 pounds, struggled with bouts of depression and ptsd, and experienced multiple lupus flares due to stress. I was stifled, isolated, and miserable.

Outside of the passing of my parents, our marriage was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I’d never felt so broken, so worthless, so low. But it was also one of the most impactful. Because when you hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but UP. And that’s what I did. From the trauma and pain I was able to heal and rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

And in some way, I have you to thank for that. The truth is, you helped make me the person I am today but if I never saw you again it would be too soon. I don’t wish you any harm and I truly hope that you are able to heal from your wounds and find peace. Because that’s what I was able to do and it’s absolutely blissful. Not perfect but blissful.

Goodbye “Deion”, and good luck.

Well, that’s all I have for this week beautiful souls. Until next time, keep Glowing…