Reclaiming Your Power

Hey Boo,

There are experiences that can make you feel as though your power has been taken from you.

Being controlled, silenced, dismissed, mistreated. Having decisions made for you. Being placed in circumstances you never would have chosen. Or spending so much time surviving that you forget you are allowed to want more than whatever gets you through the day.

Sometimes losing your sense of power doesn’t look dramatic. It could look like constantly second-guessing yourself, staying quiet to avoid conflict, or waiting for someone else to validate what you already know. Sometimes it’s accepting what hurts because you don’t believe you have another option. Making yourself smaller so someone else can remain comfortable. Or allowing fear to make every decision before you have a chance to speak.

After a while, powerlessness can begin to feel like part of your identity. But it isn’t.

Your power may have been suppressed, ignored, manipulated, or buried beneath survival. That does not mean it disappeared.

Power is Not the Same as Control

Sometimes we imagine that reclaiming our power means becoming fearless, untouchable, or completely in control. But control and power are not the same thing.

Control says:

Nothing can happen unless I allow it.

Power says:

Whatever happens, I will not abandon myself.

You cannot control every outcome. You can’t make people understand you, respect your boundaries, choose you, apologize, change, or give you the closure you deserve. You cannot rewrite what has already happened.

But you can decide what access someone has to you now. You can decide what you will no longer participate in. You determine whose opinion gets to shape how you see yourself, or whether an old experience continues making your present decisions. You can listen to your own voice- even when someone else disagrees.

Power is not the ability to control everything around you. Power is remembering that you still have choices within you.

Notice Where You Have Been Giving Your Power Away

Losing your sense of power doesn’t always happen in big, obvious, forceful ways. Sometimes it happens quietly.

You give your power away when you need someone’s approval before you trust your own decision. When you allow rejection to determine your worth. By repeatedly explaining a boundary to someone who benefits from ignoring it. You give your power away by making another person’s behavior responsible for your peace. And when you remain emotionally available to people who consistently mishandle your vulnerability. Giving your power away could also look like waiting for an apology before giving yourself permission to heal, or believing that you can’t move forward until someone finally understands what they did to you.

Many of these patterns begin as ways of surviving, maintaining connection, keeping the peace, or protecting yourself from further pain. That by no means makes you weak, you did what you knew how to do.

But survival strategies are not lifelong contracts.

You are allowed to recognize that something once protected you has now outlived its usefulness and should no longer lead you.

Your Power is in Your Participation

Not everything in your life was your choice. That truth deserves to be acknowledged and honored.

There may have been things done to you, losses you could not prevent, responsibilities you did not ask for, and seasons when your available choices were painfully limited. Reclaiming your power is not about blaming yourself for what you could not control, it’s about becoming curious about where choice exists now.

What conversation no longer requires your participation? Is there an expectation that you’re allowed to question or eliminate? What version of yourself are you no longer required to perform? What boundary can you uphold, even if someone dislikes it? What truth have you known that you’ve been afraid to honor? Is there one decision you can make from who you are becoming instead of what you have survived?

Sometimes your power is not in changing the entire situation. Sometimes it is in changing your participation in it.

Stop Asking Permission to Belong to Yourself

When you have spent years prioritizing other people’s needs, managing their reactions, or adapting yourself to remain safe and accepted, choosing yourself can feel wrong. You may feel selfish for setting a boundary. Guilty for disappointing someone. Uncomfortable when you stop overexplaining. Afraid that using your voice will cost you connection. But maintaining a connection with others is futile if you do not first belong to yourself.

Belonging to yourself does not mean you stop loving or caring about other people. It means you no longer disappear in order to do it. You are allowed to consider yourself when making decisions about your own life. You may certainly say ‘no’ without presenting a courtroom argument. You can change your mind when something no longer aligns with you. You may leave roles, relationships, environments, and beliefs that require your self-abandonment. You are allowed to trust the discomfort that tells you something is not right.

And you are allowed to choose differently-even if people do not celebrate your choices with you. You don’t need permission to belong to yourself.

Power Can Be Quiet

Reclaiming your power does not always look bold from the outside.

Sometimes it looks like not responding. Resting before your body forces you to stop. Keeping a promise you made to yourself. Allowing someone to misunderstand you instead of exhausting yourself trying to change their mind. Walking away without delivering one final speech. Or saying, ‘This doesn’t work for me.’

Reclaiming your power can also look like trying again after disappointment, letting yourself want more, telling the truth in your journal before you are ready to say it aloud, and an especially important one:

Asking for help.

Most times when we think of power we think loud, forceful, bold. And yes, power can be a roar. But it can also be the quiet moment when you realize-

I don’t have to keep doing this.

And then you choose yourself.

Reclaim One Choice at a Time

You do not have to transform your entire life today to prove that you are powerful. Power is rebuilt through patience.

Each time you honor a boundary, you practice power. Every time you listen to your intuition, you practice power. Each time you make a decision without abandoning yourself, you practice power. Every time you stop chasing validation and return to what you need, or walk away from what diminishes you, you practice power.

Small choices become evidence. Evidence becomes self-trust. And self-trust makes it easier to recognize that your life still belongs to you.

So, ask yourself:

Where does my power live in this moment?

Your power may live in your voice. Your boundary. Your attention. Your next decision. Your willingness to begin again. Your refusal to continue carrying what was never yours. Your ability to choose what receives your energy from this point forward.

You cannot change everything that happened. You cannot control everything that comes next. But you can meet yourself here- without shame, without blame, and without abandoning the person you are becoming. Your power was never dependent upon being untouched by life. It lives in your ability to return to yourself after everything you have survived.

You are not powerless. You are remembering that you have a voice. You have choices. You have agency. And you still have a say in what happens next.

This week, we are reclaiming our power.

Want to go a little deeper?

This blog is just the beginning. Subscribers get access to exclusive journaling prompts designed to help you take what you’ve read and explore what it means in your life. Because reclamation isn’t just something we read about- it’s something we practice.

Subscribe to unlock this week’s prompts and continue your reclamation journey.

Reclaiming Your Joy: Remembering What Makes You Feel Alive

Hey Boo,

If you’ve been in survival mode long enough, joy can become an afterthought.

You become so focused on getting through the day, handling responsibilities, healing from what hurt you, and keeping everything together that you stop asking yourself a very simple question:

What makes me happy?

Not what makes everyone else happy. Not what makes you productive. Not what makes you useful. Not what earns approval, keeps the peace, or proves that you’re doing well.

What makes you light up?

Sometimes healing is learning how to ask that question again.

Survival Changes What You Pay Attention To

When you’ve spent a long time surviving, your attention naturally goes toward what needs to be fixed, handled, prevented, or endured. You learn how to anticipate problems. You learn how to push through exhaustion. You learn how to take care of other people. You learn how to keep going even when you’re running on empty.

And somewhere along the way, the things that once made you smile may slowly disappear from your life. Not because you stopped deserving them, but because you were too busy surviving.

There comes a point in your healing when survival is no longer the only thing you want.

You want to live.

You want laughter.

You want creativity.

You want peace.

You want experiences that make you excited to wake up.

You want little moments that remind you:

I’m still here.

And that desire is not selfish. It’s reclamation.

You Don’t Have to Earn Joy

Many of us were taught- directly or indirectly- that enjoyment comes after everything else is finished. After the work is done. After everyone else is taken care of. After you’ve accomplished enough. After you’ve healed enough. After you’ve become the person you think you’re supposed to be.

But life keeps moving. There will always be another responsibility. Another goal. Another problem to solve. Another version of yourself you’re becoming.

If you constantly postpone joy until everything is perfect, you may spend your entire life waiting for permission to enjoy it. So, give yourself permission now.

Buy the flowers.

Play the music. (Or make it.)

Wear the outfit.

Take yourself somewhere beautiful.

Dance in your kitchen.

Color. Create. Rest. Laugh loudly.

Try something you’ve always wanted to try. Return to something you loved before life became heavy.

Joy doesn’t have to be extravagant to be meaningful. Sometimes reclaiming your life begins with something as small as saying:

“I like this. I’m going to do more of it.”

Meet Yourself Again

One of the most beautiful parts of healing is discovering who you are outside survival. Because you may not be the same person you were before everything happened. And you don’t have to be.

Maybe your interests changed. Maybe your dreams have changed. Maybe things you tolerated no longer feel right. Maybe you’re craving softness where you once craved excitement. Maybe you’re craving adventure after years of playing it safe. Maybe you’re discovering parts of yourself that never had room to exist before.

Let yourself explore.

You don’t need to have your new identity completely figured out. You can simply become curious.

Ask yourself- what makes me lose track of time? What makes me feel peaceful? What makes me laugh? What have I always wanted to experience? What would I do more often if I stopped worrying about whether anyone else understood or approved of it?

Your answers are breadcrumbs. Follow them.

They may lead you back to parts of yourself you thought you’d lost. And they may introduce you to parts of yourself you’ve never met before.

Joy Can Feel Uncomfortable at First

This part isn’t talked about enough.

When you’ve been accustomed to chaos, hypervigilance, disappointment, or constantly waiting for something to go wrong, peace can feel unfamiliar. So can happiness.

You may catch yourself questioning a good moment instead of experiencing it. You may wonder how long it will last. You may feel guilty for enjoying yourself when other areas of your life aren’t perfect. You may even feel vulnerable allowing yourself to hope again.

That’s okay.

You don’t have to force joy. Just practice allowing it. When something feels good, notice it. Instead of immediately moving to the next thing, stay there for a moment. Let yourself smile. Let yourself receive. Let yourself experience something beautiful without asking it to become permanent. Joy doesn’t need to last forever to be real.

Your Life Gets to Belong to You

Reclaiming your joy is bigger than hobbies, vacations, or self-care days. It’s about ownership. It’s deciding that your life will no longer revolve entirely around what happened to you, who hurt you, who left, who chose you, who didn’t choose you, or what you had to survive. Those things may be chapters of your story, but they don’t get to write the rest of it.

You do.

And perhaps one of the greatest acts of reclamation is building a life that feels so authentically yours that you no longer need anyone else’s permission to enjoy it. A life filled with things that nourish you. People who feel safe. Dreams that excite you. Boundaries that protect you. Moments that make you laugh until your stomach hurts. Quiet mornings. New experiences. Old passions rediscovered. And tiny pockets of happiness tucked into ordinary days.

You survived what tried to dim you. Now you get to discover what makes you glow.

*A Gentle Reminder*

You don’t have to be who you were before the pain. You don’t have to rush toward some perfectly healed version of yourself either. Just keep becoming. Keep exploring. Keep choosing yourself. Keep noticing what makes your spirit feel a little lighter. And whenever joy finds you- even in the smallest moment-

Let it.

You are allowed to enjoy the life you’re rebuilding. You are allowed to create new memories. You are allowed to laugh again. You are allowed to want more than survival. And most importantly:

You are allowed to feel alive again.

This Week’s Reclamation

Ask yourself:

What is one thing that makes me feel genuinely alive- and how can I make a little more room for it in my life this week?

You don’t need to transform your entire life overnight. Start with one joyful choice.

Then another.

And another.

Because sometimes healing isn’t just about releasing what hurt you, sometimes healing is remembering how good it feels to be you.

Until next time.

Heal. Grow. Glow.

Steps To Self Healing

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I have made some new strides and discoveries on my healing journey recently and wanted to share them with you. So, let’s cut through the fluff and get right to it, shall we?

Forgive Yourself

The first step on the healing journey is to forgive yourself. Realize that the things that you didn’t know or couldn’t control are not your fault and it’s unfair to you to continue to carry that emotional weight. Do not wait for others to apologize. Waiting for an apology only hinders the healing process, and they may never do so. You must move forward with or without an apology. Bad energy and emotional distress, when held long enough can manifest into physical ailments or psychological disorders. This, of course makes the healing process longer and more arduous.

Ask Yourself

Take a moment to focus on what exactly you want out of life moving forward. What will you do to make future situations more to your liking? Is the situation that caused you pain something that you can prevent or avoid moving forward? If not, is there a different way to handle the situation so that it isn’t damaging to you if it reoccurs? Another important question to ask yourself is: Is there a lesson that can be learned from the painful situation? Learning experiences often soften the blow of trauma and it would be beneficial to turn the pain into purpose.

Attention to Yourself

The only person that you can control in a situation is you. Pay attention to the way people, environments, and situations make you feel. If you feel like something is off- it probably is. No one else has to agree with you or feel what you feel. Pay attention to yourself, obey your intuition and remove yourself from the situation if that’s what you need to do. Monitoring your emotions is also a good way to self-heal because it places you in the position to do damage control early on and process negative emotions as they happen. This makes self-healing much easier and more efficient.

Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness can improve our thinking and raise our level of understanding. There are several ways to do this, by focusing on your breathing in a quiet place. This method most definitely works. I have done it at work many times when I didn’t have time to stop and meditate. Stop for a moment and take three deep breaths. I find that a five count works well. (Inhale: one, two, three, four, five. Exhale: one, two, three, four, five. Repeat)

My favorite way to practice mindfulness is meditation. I am personally a huge fan of meditation because it gives me a sense of calm when I feel sad, hurt, frustrated, or any other negative feelings and energies. Meditation clears the noise out of my head and I am able to think from a more elevated point of view.

In the near future, I will be posting guided meditations to assist with stress and anxiety, pain management, sleep, and a host of other topics. This will be available to my Patrons only, so subscribe if you’d like access to that!

Alone Time

Spending some time alone can bring joy and healing. Do something that you enjoy. It will ease your mind and raise your vibration considerably. My self-healing process involves writing, painting, listening to music, and/or dancing. Whatever takes you to a positive place- do that!

What are your methods of self-healing? I’d really like to know!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls