Tag: healthy love

Take up Space!

Hello beautiful souls šŸ’–

As the month of April comes to a close, I’d like to finish strong with a slight recap of what we’ve discussed during the month.

This is The Evolution.

First and foremost, we are to show up for ourselves. Self love and self care are the root of evolution. Growth does not happen until our foundation – is stable. We cannot evolve into better people if we do not first love ourselves and show up for ourselves.

Once we have self awareness and self love, and we are showing up for ourselves, we must be intentional. Being intentional directs or funnels our positive energy and our awareness into more purposeful, positive, and deliberate actions, boundaries, priorities, schedules, and habits.

Creating a to-do list is a great way to be intentional.

Next, we begin self evaluation. It is absolutely necessary for growth. This is where we have to be honest with ourselves about our habits, our connections, our emotions, our trauma, our “dirt” if you will. We have to take ownership for our flaws and look for ways to make healthy changes. We should forgive those who have done us wrong and we should forgive ourselves too.

In this stage, we look at who we associate ourselves with and make changes if need be. Once we become more intentional, we may realize that there are people in our lives that no longer resonate with us or the new direction our lives are headed. Self evaluation is the place where we may have some uncomfortable conversations or process some less than favorable emotions. It all works out for the best, because now we move on and we take up space.

Do you find yourself doing these things? Self Evaluation may be in order.

And now, we reach the most fun part of our evolution:

Take Up Space!

To take up space means to expand, to fearlessly step out of the shadows and be seen, and to be who we are unapologetically. We must never shrink, lower, or stifle ourselves to make others comfortable.

Taking up space requires confidence. This is something that I continue to work on myself, and I can honestly say that I’ve come a long way. Feel free to contact me if you would like some tips or suggestions on confidence building, or if you have some tips to add.

But…it is not over once we begin taking up space. We continue on. We continue to show up for ourselves, be intentional, self evaluate, and take up space through this journey that we call life. Deep down, expansion is what we all long for. What our souls long for.

It’s been a pleasure sharing my thoughts with you. I hope you enjoy this blog. Feel free to share it with like minded individuals. šŸ˜Š

Until next time beautiful souls šŸ’–

Perfect Love

Hello beautiful souls šŸ’–

I hope that this piece finds you well and in good spirits.

Today, I had no idea what I was going to blog about. I considered skipping it this week, but for the sake of consistency I didn’t want to do that. Should I just post a poem? I wondered to myself. And then I received a suggestion:

“Love. How does the thought of it make you feel?” Okay, let’s go with that.

Instinctively I responded, “Scared but excited.”

Then I paused and gave the question some real thought. And then I realized some important things that I’d like to share.

“Perfect love casts out all fear.” Unconditional love and fear cannot reside in the same space. A love without conditions is perfect. It is open and free flowing. It has no limits, caution, or stipulations.

This is the exact opposite of fear. Actions fueled by fear are often performed with apprehension or some sense of obligation. (Example: If I don’t do this, they may leave me for someone else, etc)

My initial response was a conditioned one. That response was the response of my former self. In the past I was a person that had low self esteem and codependency issues. My fear surrounding love came from a fear of rejection because I correlated my own worth to the love and acceptance from another person.

It isn’t even true. I don’t feel that way. The thought of love does not make me feel afraid. I am secure in myself and my emotions.

I love myself. This journey of self discovery and self love that I have been on has taught me some beautiful lessons. I’ve been getting to know myself and love myself for exactly who I am. I know the value of my love, time, and energy. I am not afraid to love another person because I am not relying on their love to replenish me.

I replenish myself. I love and care for myself adequately and then I give love to others. If they do not love me back the same way- it’s perfectly fine! This is not a negative reflection on me. I understand that no one owes me their love and I do not take this personally.

So…how does the thought of love make me feel?

I feel bold. I feel limitless. And I feel completely empowered.

Until next time beautiful souls šŸ’–

The Ultimate Goal

Hello beautiful souls šŸ’–

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately in regards to my goals. As I grow and evolve, I find it imperative to not only identify my desires, but to set a plan in motion to obtain the things that I desire.

So, I asked myself what my goals are and even what my ultimate goal is. This is what I came up with:

The ultimate goal for me is to feel high without stimulants. To “get high” at will. I’d like to achieve a state of elevation and remain there. Additionally, I want to open and balance my crown Chakra and experience nirvana. For a moment I questioned myself. I wondered if my ultimate goal was perhaps a bit lofty. After some thought I decided that I’d rather live my life trying to obtain it than to prematurely count myself out.

I then formulated a plan to discover and experience my own bliss. I found that the key to nirvana for me is expansion. In order to expand, I must dare to step out of the predictable and the ordinary, and take that leap of faith into the exciting, creative, bold…intoxicating even!

I cannot settle for a dull existence. I will not resign to working a job that I absolutely hate just to pay my bills. Although I know I have to make a living, I will make the time to build the life that I want. The point of this human experience is to bound boldly and fearlessly out of mediocrity and explore the possibilities of life. And then take those possibilities and make them realities.. A reality where I love and live without limits and encourage others to do the same.

My goal is to be worry free- to be fearless. To appreciate life..to be grateful for who I am and what I have.. to spread love, passion, fire…To lose control sometimes and not always go with the safest choice. Not to be irresponsible or wreckless- but to be okay with not knowing how every day will end because somehow I know that life will be beautiful and superb. That is my ultimate goal.

And that is my hope and dream for you as well. For you to achieve your ultimate goal. There is room and time and space for each and every one of us to experience our own nirvana. Complete and utter bliss. We just have to dare to step put of our comfort zones.

I am stepping out. Who’s coming with me? šŸ˜‰

Until next time beautiful souls šŸ’–

Never Change

Featured

Hello Beautiful souls šŸ’–

I was reflecting on some things and wanted to share something with you.

Here’s what I learned: I’ve learned to never change for the satisfaction of another. No matter how I love or think I love a person. A person asking you to change is a person telling you that they do not accept you as you are. It’s saying, ‘you’re almost good enough, but you gotta fix this first.’

Now, if someone brings to your attention a negative or self sabotaging behavior and you elect to adjust – that’s great because it’s your choice. You recognize this as an opportunity to grow or improve and have chosen to make a change. This change then is to please yourself and not the other person.

But if you change yourself to please someone else, at some point, resentment will fester. And that’s what happened with me.

It took me quite a while to see things this way. Initially, I was fine with the idea of making adjustments-especially for the sake of love. My spouse said that it would help our marriage and he would be satisfied if I made this change for him. And so I did.

But one change became another. And another. And yet another. I had made so many changes, that I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I had become a shell of my former self: broken, depressed, and codependent.

This, I knew, was not who I was supposed to be. It’s taken quite a bit of work and I’m still working, but I regain more of myself everyday. I am no longer in that toxic environment, and each day I work to be a more improved, balanced version of myself.

I will never again change to fit someone else’s idea of what I should be. And I hope you don’t either.

Until next time, beautiful souls. I wish you so much Love and Light!

Mimi šŸ’–šŸ’–

Balance

Hi beautiful souls!

As I discover myself anew of this spiritual journey; I realize more and more how important balance is. I just wanted to share a few thoughts on the importance of balance.

Life is about balance. You canā€™t be completely selfish just as you canā€™t be completely selfless. If youā€™re selfish; then youā€™re constantly taking. Often to the detriment of others. Taking and storing. Taking and storing. And eventually, you fill your vessel to its capacity.

And then what happens?

You become stagnant. Thereā€™s a stench. It starts to smell because some of what you continue to hold on to has become useless to you. Itā€™s wasting away.

It now belongs to someone else but you wonā€™t release it. ā€œWhat about me? What about me? What about me?ā€ Until youā€™re completely full. You canā€™t take on any new information or learn any new gifts because you havenā€™t cultivated anything but yourself. Thereā€™s no flow.

On the other hand, if youā€™re completely selfless, you give and give and give. But then, what becomes of you? You are now ill nourished, miserable, weak, nonfunctional, dried up and probably even bitter because you gave of your entire self without being refilled. You feel used. You have nothing else to give now. Thereā€™s no flow. We all need flow. We need that constant movement and exchange of energy to be our best selves. We need balance.

This I know from experience because I was a giver. I would give to spouses, lovers, and boyfriends thinking that they would see how wonderful I was and give back. When they didnā€™t give back, or didnā€™t give back equally- it hurt me to my core. Until I met someone else. I was in a self destructive cycle.

I gave and gave until one day I looked around and saw what little there was left of myself. This journey helped me see what I was doing to myself and what I was allowingā€¦

But now I break free!

I share my vulnerability in the hope that it will reach and help someone before they experience this pain. Or perhaps youā€™re in a similar situation, and this piece may be used to enlighten you and remind you of how wonderful you are- with or without the validation of another person.

Either way; I hope this helps someone.

Until next time beautiful soulsā€¦ šŸ’œāœØ Mimi

The giving tree

Do you remember that story by Shel Silverstein? In case you donā€™t, itā€™s a story about a tree that deeply loved a little boy; even to its own detriment. As a child, it was one of the stories that impacted me most. I wasnā€™t sure at the time why that story meant so much- I was so angry at the selfish little boy. I used to wish that the boy would return the treeā€™s love; or that the tree would realize that the boy didnā€™t love him and say ā€˜noā€™ for once. I wished that the tree would love itself more.

But now, I realize that I grew up to be a human version of that tree.

I didnā€™t love myself very much. But now, I do. I love myself.

I remember a point in time when I couldnā€™t honestly say that. I didnā€™t really see anything worth loving; so I needed someoneā€™s love to validate me. Iā€™ve always been enamored with love. It seemed so out of reach for me. Other people had love, but not me. I longed for it. I chased it. I immersed myself in it.

And I thought something was wrong with me because the people I loved didnā€™t love me back. I found myself in this cycle- this self destructive cycle- where Iā€™d pour my love into someone until I exhausted myself. The person would take my love gladly, but I received little to nothing in return. When I had nothing else to give; the person became bored and left. I became bitter and depressed…until the next opportunity to prove how worthy of love I was came along…

Each ā€œopportunityā€ left me more broken than the last.

Until I unplugged. I unplugged from expectations and took some time to myself. I took a good look at myself. Not my outer appearance; but my qualities. My personality. My morals. All the things that make me –Me. And I began to celebrate them. It took some time but yes; I celebrated myself!

And now I can emphatically say that no matter what my relationship status is: Iā€™m okay. Because I do not need another personā€™s love to complete me. I am whole with or without a partner.

I still love freely and completely, but Iā€™m no ā€œgiving treeā€. Because Iā€™ve learned that true love doesnā€™t leave you empty and I love myself enough to walk away from toxicity.

Thanks for reading.

Love and Light- Mimi šŸ’œ