Tag: life coach

Stop Waiting on Your Life!

Time is of the Essence, is it not?

Hello Beautiful Souls!

This week I was sitting on the phone with tech support, and over and over again, I thought of things I could have done while I sat there – just waiting. In the past I’d done that- just waited for things to happen instead of taking action to get what I wanted. I used to wait for support, validation, perfection, ‘the right timing’, and sometimes even permission to do things until I realized that I was putting my entire life on hold. What about you?

Are you “on hold” in your life? 

Are you waiting for a spouse to come along, waiting on the motivation to get your home organized, waiting on a great job to fall into your lap, waiting to win the lottery so that you could plan your retirement?  Stop waiting on your life!  The only difference between you and the people who are getting what they want, is that they kept moving and you didn’t. They are not better, stronger, more favored, or more deserving than you are. You just need to get back to it! Here are some ideas to help get you started again.

  1. Focus on the who, not the what

If you find that you’ve been stuck on a goal for a while, try restarting it in “who am I” terms instead of “what I want” terms.  For example, instead of saying “I want to lose 30 lbs.”, say “I am someone who takes care of herself by keeping my weight around XXX which is a healthy range for my height and age.”  Be as specific as possible.  Notice that ‘I want to be someone who helps others’ could mean anything from a clerk in the grocery store to a heart surgeon.  Focus on who you want to be.  Then ask yourself what actions would fit with your desire “to be” instead of “to get”. 

  1. Analyze it

Did you know that a full 80% of your problems come from 20% of your life?  It’s true!  Determine what that 20% is that’s affecting so much of your life, and start working to make it happier, more efficient, more satisfying.

  1. Assign Value

A big mistake I see in my coaching clients is not assigning a true value to your time, to your energy, to your money, and to your “real estate” (your home or office).  Realize that for each thing you say yes to, you have said no to something else. For example: if I say ‘yes’ to listening to my friend gossip about her co-workers for an hour and a half, then I am saying ‘no’ completing my blog or having a coaching session.

 Always ask yourself – is this valuable enough to me to crowd my life with, or sacrifice something that I truly want or need? 

If you aren’t sure of anything, be sure of this beautiful soul, that you are capable of whatever changes in life you want to make. Stop waiting for change and take action to effect change in your life!

Until Next time, keep Glowing…

Start with a Baseline

Want to Make some Changes but Aren’t sure Where to Start?

Making changes in your life is great and it is the way we grow and develop as people. Change is a constant process and part of being human. When you embark on changing anything in your life, start from where you are. Until you know where that is it would be difficult to effectively make the change. You have to start with a baseline.

Starting with a baseline is about figuring out where you are and what you are doing so that you know exactly what needs to be changed. It may sound odd, but many of us are unaware of what we do. When my clients tell me they want to lose weight the first thing I do is have them keep a food journal for a week just to get a baseline. The next week they share how shocked they were to see not only how much they were eating, but also what they were eating. Many of us are on autopilot and we simply are not aware of what we are doing. When you track it – and this works with anything – you have a real picture of where you are and what needs to change.

I read a statistic once that said most people consistently spend about 10% more than they make. I believe that is true, and it is because what is being spent, especially on a credit card, is not tracked. I once had a client that just didn’t have enough time to accomplish everything she needed to do. When she tracked her time for a week she was made painfully aware that she was spending hours in front of the television. The first step in change is awareness. You have to become aware of what you are doing and exactly where you are before you can proceed forward. Keeping track for a week or two will provide you with valuable information that will support your efforts to change.

Before you embark on any type of change effort you have to know where you are. I liken it to those travel maps that have an X printed next to “You are here.” Until you are aware of exactly where you are – and many of us don’t have a clue – it will be impossible to make the needed change.

The first step in your change effort is to determine where you are. Keep a log for a week or two. This will give you a realistic idea of what you are doing. You can track anything from how much money you spend to how many hours of sleep you get. Once you know the truth about where you are you can proceed.

My coaching program, although primarily focused on narcissistic abuse recovery does provide information and methods to help with focus, time management, goal setting, and accountability.

That’s all I have for this week. Until Next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing!

T.I.M.E.

Some tips to manage your most precious resource.

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Today we are going to talk about one of the most precious resources in existence- time.

You have to give some to get some. The old adage is usually applied to money, but it is also true of time.

We are always pressed for time or seem to owe time to others, from our bosses to our families. Time is such a valuable commodity so we need to make sure that we use it carefully. Careful use of our time means one thing — time management.

The sad truth is that most of us who are really in need of time management rarely utilize it. However, spending time on this simple four-step plan named “TIME” can really make a difference in your day, your life, and your time!

T Is For Taking Time To Plan

Every minute spent on planning and organizing will save at least that amount of time when you implement your plan. Shopping trips taken without a list often result in wasted time, errands run without prior planning often mean wasted time, and tasks not properly organized often mean wasted time. We all know this is true and yet we still rush forward in our haste to get something done. Take time to plan and you will be more efficient.

I Is For Involving Others

Whether at work or at home, involving other crucial stake-holders in your planning and prioritizing can help you attend to the essentials and share the work. Others may have good ideas to help you achieve your goals and others may well spark even more ideas from you. Sometimes, simply talking things over with a sympathetic audience can help you think more clearly. Don’t forget to give others a share in the work as well as the planning.

M Is For Meditation

No matter how busy your life or hectic your schedule is, you must take time to reflect on your goals and dreams. Taking a few moments to clear your mind, focus your energy, and rebuild your strength can revitalize you and help you accomplish more when you swing back into action.

Allowing yourself this down time may well give you the opportunity to prioritize and brainstorm so you can be even more productive than before. Even if you don’t have brainstorms from taking this time out, it will definitely give you an energy boost.

E Is For Evaluation

It is important for you to regularly evaluate your priorities and goals. Perhaps you have accomplished tasks that can now be permanently crossed off your list or can be set aside until a later date. Perhaps you have achieved certain goals resulting in a change of other priorities. Perhaps you simply have learned something along the way that caused a number of shifts in your priorities and goals.

Evaluation can also give you a sense of accomplishment if you look back on what you have achieved and the goals you have reached.

Even if taking TIME for time management can seem wasteful, it is actually a process that pays for itself time and time again. Time management may cost you time for planning and organization but in the end it helps you gain time through efficiency and prioritization. The simple truth is that time management saves you time and can alleviate some of your stress.

Time management is important for us all, but it is especially important for people who have experienced narcissistic abuse and may be suffering from anxiety or cognitive issues such as brain fog or short term memory loss.

I do hope that these time management tips are useful to you. Please feel free to comment any additional tips you may have 😊

Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

The Effects of Narcissistic Abuse:

And How to Start Healing from it.

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I wanted to talk to you about the effects of narcissistic abuse both as a confirmation and as a road map. The confirmation is for the survivors of narcissistic abuse- to show them that they aren’t alone and help them understand the effects of the abuse they experienced so that they can take proactive steps towards treatment and healing. The road map is for the family members of narcissistic abuse survivors. It pinpoints the primary effects of narcissistic abuse so that family members and friends can be equipped with insight so that they may offer more thoughtful and knowledge support.

Here are the most common effects of narcissistic abuse:

Anxiety: After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you may experience extreme fear or anxiety in relationships with new people. Anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and hypervigilance may result as well.

Depression: Survivors of narcissistic abuse often struggle with feelings of worthlessness after being manipulated, gaslighted, and devalued over the course of the relationship. Because of this, some of the survivors  self-isolate which makes the depression worse.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: The traumatic events that transpire during a narcissistic relationship can trigger a fight or flight response within you. Anything associated with the memories of abuse can trigger an anxiety attack. Many survivors develop hypervigilance because of narcissistic abuse. Many victims have repeated the sentiment that they ‘never knew’ what their abuser was going to do next.

Lost Sense of Self & Loss of Self Worth: Narcissistic abuse is a form of brainwashing and can destroy your sense of self-worth. The survivor of narcissistic abuse often feels as if they’ve lost themselves. They are no longer the person they were before the relationship began. They begin doubting and second guessing themselves and sometimes have trouble making decisions. This is likely due to being insulted, disregarded, and/or devalued by the narcissist.

Inability to Forgive Yourself: Victims of narcissistic abuse often feel guilt or shame after they are discarded. The mental and emotional manipulation may cause an ‘unworthy’ feeling whether the victim blames themselves for the narcissist’s behavior- believing that they aren’t worthy of love or that they would receive better treatment had they done things differently. In my case, the guilt and shame came from staying as long as I did. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I had allowed another person to treat me that way.

Physical Symptoms: Headaches, stomachaches, difficulty sleeping, nightmares, and body aches have been experienced by many victims of narcissistic abuse. I personally experienced headaches and difficulty sleeping during the marriage as well as shortly after discard.

Cognitive Problems: Memories of traumatic events are known to interfere with concentration and focus. The stress hormones released during narcissistic abuse can cause short term memory loss due to the damage to the hippocampus region of the brain.

Emotional Lability: This can very from mood swings and irritability to being emotionless. The effects of narcissistic abuse can make it challenging to regulate your emotions.

Stuck in a Cycle: This is one of the most dangerous effects in my opinion. Many people find themselves stuck in a cycle where they remain in communication with the abuser after the relationship is over. The connection is kept through various tactics such as threats, manipulation/pity attempts, or hoovering- when they attempt to suck you back into the relationship by love bombing and making promises they don’t intend to keep.

Being stuck in this cycle is dangerous because things often escalate and can become physical. If you are in a situation that is unsafe please get help as quickly and as quietly as you can.

Trust Issues: After experiencing narcissistic abuse your trust levels tend to be quite low. While this is quite understandable, it can hinder the success of future relationships, cause social anxiety, make you overly sensitive to criticism or judgment, and cause an insecure attachment.

People Pleasing: Narcissistic abuse is a perfect learning ground for people pleasing if you weren’t a people pleaser already. Most victims of abuse have grown accustomed to walking on eggshells, avoid confrontation, and may also struggle with expressing emotions or thoughts for fear of being judged. A person who doesn’t express their emotions is often disregarded while the narcissist places their emotions at the forefront for you to focus on.

Self-Destructive Habits: People who have been in relationships with narcissists often engage in self-destructive habits such as alcohol abuse, smoking, food or drug addiction, and overspending. Some believe that this is because the victim feels at fault for the narcissistic partner’s behavior toward them. I personally believe that this behavior may be the victim’s attempt to numb the pain of the abuse. In either case, it is highly encouraged that you find a coping mechanism that builds you up instead of tearing you down.

**How to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse**

Recognize and Accept Your Feelings

Feelings such as grief, depression, anger, and anxiety are completely normal feelings to have. Your feelings are valid and it’s important not to suppress your emotions and you should definitely not judge yourself for feeling them.

Educate Yourself

Learn about narcissistic traits and behaviors to more easily recognize when you are being manipulated, and self-check to unearth any internal programming or beliefs you may have for a narcissist to use against you. For more information on those internal programmings or toxic beliefs, you can check out my ebook on Amazon entitled Toxic Beliefs: The Beginning of Internal Destruction.

Join a Support Group

You may find it therapeutic to interact with others who understand exactly what you’re going through and can offer tips and advice to help you cope. You are more than welcome to join my growing  facebook group Resilient Brave Beings for a safe space to ask questions and express your concerns.

Reach Out to a Therapist, Counselor, or Coach

A qualified professional can equip you with tools to cope with and heal from narcissistic abuse in a safe and nonjudgmental space. Sign up for my informative workshop where we will be discussing the effects of narcissistic abuse and some strategies to help your healing process.

Practice Self Care

When your self-esteem has taken a hit it’s easy to feel unmotivated and undeserving of good things. But you deserve the utmost love and care. Adequate sleep, healthy food, and engaging in activities that you enjoy are all heavily encouraged.

Narcissistic abuse can be a difficult thing to recover from, but with education, support, encouragement, and strategy healing is possible.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog this week. I do hope that it was helpful to you.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Don’t Zone Out!

Find Focus with a Theme.

Hello Beautiful souls!

What happened to the time? When we are busy in our day-to-day lives, it sometimes seems that whole seasons pass in a blink. And the goals we have…well, they can easily slip by in that blur too. You want to WAKE UP: to get control of your time and meet your goals. But how?

In coaching we sometimes talk about our lives being in process. That is, our lives are constantly flowing forward over and around the highs and lows of our everyday experience, like a river. As humans we often try to minimize those ups and downs: We plan for the future, we dwell on the past, and thus avoid experiencing the emotion at this present moment. As a result we dampen our aliveness and sort of zone out. No wonder we suddenly “wake up” to realize minutes, days, or even weeks, have passed us by!

Have you ever had the experience of driving a car only to find yourself suddenly at your destination? Where have you been? Not present, that’s for sure! But really, what does it mean to be present in your day-to-day life?

It’s quite challenging to focus all your attention on this moment. Try it: As you are reading these words, slow down. Experience the action of reading one word at a time. What sounds do you hear in the room around you? How comfortable are you? How are you breathing? Recognize that you are alive, right now, in this moment. What was that like for you?

Here’s another experiment. Go ahead and laugh – – but try this anyway. It may give you a whole new way to be in the moment: As you go through your day, ask yourself: Where’s my butt? On a chair? Against a wall? Walking past the consignment shop on Main Street? Crazy as it sounds; it is very difficult not to be present when you’re trying to figure out where your rump is!

OK! Now you’ve tried rump-awareness and have probably heard all kinds of other advice for becoming present in the moment – breathing, mindfulness, meditation, and so forth. Now broaden the concept: how can you stay present and focused for a project or goal in your life? Select a theme.

Here’s how it works: As an example, my theme for my business this year is “authenticity and inner glow.” This theme serves a filter. Each month, I review my business goals through the lens of my theme and prioritize those that will cause me to be the most authentic and give my clients the most inspiration. Being authentic best shows my inner glow and sets a good perimeter for my clients. Because I have to walk the walk myself before I talk the talk, right? When brainstorming projects to undertake, I look for those that best match my theme. Now that I’ve achieved more clarity and consistency in my business, I am ready to move forward and REALLY let my light shine! I will be pursuing platforms to draw attention to Toxic Beliefs, which is the cornerstone of my coaching program.

Toxic Beliefs are negative beliefs or programmings that many of us have experienced that place us in danger of being manipulated, mistreated or abused- whether emotionally, financially, sexually, or physically. I can’t prove it, but based on my experience as well as the experiences of my beta-testers, toxic beliefs that were incurred during childhood had affected the way we think and behave in many aspects of life. We all had three or more of the ten toxic beliefs and as a result we had all suffered from self-esteem issues, brain fog, and had been in toxic and/or narcissistic relationships.

My theme for the financial wing of my business is Action! Becoming a financial consultant was really a godsend, not only because I was financially illiterate, but because it has made me grow and come out of my comfort zone in so many ways. I went from being terrified of public speaking to doing live presentations! Not without some blunders and minor freak-outs, but I got there and am steadily improving. My Upyugo family is passionate about bringing financial literacy and financial freedom to the masses – we are on fire!

What is YOUR theme? It’s time for you to wake up and be on fire too!

Until next time, beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

 

Coaching Blog:

Out of The Quicksand

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I wanted to talk to you a bit about some things that I’ve been thinking about lately. I’ve been really busy over the last few weeks. I’ve been making it a point to work hard, maximize my time, and ‘apply pressure’ and sometimes, quite frankly I feel like the only one feeling the pressure is me. I get locked in. I become overly focused, and so intense that I wear myself down. Sometimes I feel stuck. Almost as if I’m caught in quicksand. If you sometimes feel as though you’re caught in life’s quicksand, you have a lot of company. We work, we struggle, we try to do everything we possibly can to move on to a higher level of well-being but it seems like the harder we work, the more stuck we get. If you’re approaching a Category 5 frustration level, you might want to give this a try…

Switch your focus from that really nice – but frustrated – person in the mirror to another beautiful soul who inhabits this good earth.

Self-love and self-care is a must, and focus is absolutely necessary. We need to set goals, lay out plans and then take action on those plans to make progress toward our goals. We need to demonstrate personal financial responsibility, plan for retirement and frequently cover our backsides so that they don’t get chewed off by one or more of life’s rodents.

However, what frequently happens is that we become so over-focused on ourselves and our own personal well-being that we wind up building huge walls. We lose the ability – or even desire – to see the bigger picture and the possibilities that life presents to us. We become so focused on “me” that we sometimes begin scrutinizing even the most insignificant events to determine their potential impact on our personal lives. We become victims to ourselves. And to be real honest about it, we sometimes just become so busy being busy that we lose track of where we thought we wanted our lives to wind up in the first place.

One possible solution as I mentioned earlier is to change our focus from “me” to “we”. From being the receiver to being the giver. And no, I’m not even implying that this requires any major change in the things we do every day. It may eventually lead to that but it’s not a critical part of the initial process.

Here’s what I mean. No matter what you do to earn a living or keep the household moving in a logical direction, somewhere down the line a real person will probably benefit from what you do. Think about it. The work we do is not just to stuff computer systems full of information or help machines work better. It’s not just to take people’s money so we’ll have a paycheck at the end of the week. It’s not just filling out forms, nailing pieces of boards together, assembling electronic devices, hauling packages, going to meetings, etc. Somewhere, sometime (and maybe immediately) another human being will likely be positively affected by what you do.

And yes, if you’re paying attention, you’ve noticed that I’ve used a couple of cop-out words in the preceding paragraph – “likely” and “probably”. I had to do that because in the real world there are some individuals whose money-making efforts are focused mainly on “non-beneficial” activities. That’s just the way the world is.

For the rest of us however, our activities and work generally reflect a more positive endeavor. That leads us back to the original suggestion. If you are caught in the quicksand, take a few minutes to really think about the people – the individuals who will be better off, healthier or happier because of what you do, and because of who you are. Think about how you are giving of your time and talents so that others will profit in some way from your efforts.

Do you see what can happen here? When we change our focus from “me” to “we”, our work – the things we do every day – starts taking on a new significance. We become givers. Our life is beautiful and meaningful. We know that what we do is truly important to someone else. That’s pretty awesome, isn’t it?

If you’re having to really stretch your imagination to see at least one other person benefiting from the things you do and it’s really not fitting together, you might consider looking into a different occupation – or at least a different way to spend your free time. There are a bunch of people who could really benefit from your talents. Think about what you do well – what you enjoy doing that could help others have a better life. Then go do it. You’ll be out of the quicksand before you know it.

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls

10 Tips for Effective Time Management

Time Management

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Have you ever thought to yourself that there aren’t enough hours in the day, or felt overwhelmed at the tasks facing you? I know I absolutely have. And if you have as well, this blog can help you!

  1. Clarify your goals and strategy

 Be very clear about your aims and ambitions, both short and long term. Write them down. Once you know what you really want to achieve (and why) it’s easier to make decisions about what needs to be done, and to plan accordingly.

  1. Focus on your top priorities

You’ll be more productive and profitable if you identify and focus on the areas most important to your business. Work on the fundamentals first. The Latin word ‘fundamentum’ means foundation – so take action, build strong foundations and the rest should follow.

  1. Schedule time

Literally write an appointment in your work planner (you do have one of those, don’t you?) to set aside a realistic block of time for your priority actions. This reduces anxiety over not having enough time and keeps you focused.

  1. Say no!

Consider Jim Rohn’s suggestion. “Learn how to say no. Don’t let your mouth overload your back.” Always check your schedule before committing to anything new. Don’t allow others to divert you from your objectives.

  1. Create supportive systems

This includes systems for filing, management information and communication. Creating a system for the functions that you repeat most often enable you to complete the task more quickly and efficiently with practice. Create that system and then practice it!

  1. Take a reality check

Will your current activity have a positive outcome, or are you doing it to avoid something else? Ask yourself – will doing this take me towards my goal? As Peter F Drucker observed “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

  1. Delegate!

It’s tempting to do something yourself when you think you can do it faster and better. But consider the long term – delegation now will save time in the future, and if done appropriately can motivate your staff, boost their confidence, and help them develop their skills.

  1. Repeat your success

Remember the last time you accomplished something that you major, or something that you may have doubted yourself about. What strategies and techniques did you employ that made you so effective and focused? Can you repeat them? Alternatively, imagine you are going away tomorrow, and work through today accordingly.

  1. Balance your life

Formally schedule personal activities too, so you make time for family, friends, your health and fun because having a balanced life reduces stress and increases energy levels. Time management is really about life management!

  1. End the day

At the end of the working day, tidy your work area, make notes about what needs to be done tomorrow, and prioritize those tasks. Shift your focus from what you didn’t finish today, to what you did accomplish. Now, put down that list, take a few deep breaths and leave those responsibilities at your work station. Part of good time management is knowing and appreciating each part of the day for the part it plays. Rest is just as important as productivity, so be sure to manage your resting time as well.

I do hope that these tips are useful to you. Please feel free to share your thoughts!

Personal Development E-Books Available For Purchase for Under $8!

Click my link and select the book or books you’d like:

Love Thyself

Awaken Your True Calling

Gain Mental Clarity

The Gratitude Plan

https://www.linktr.ee/mimi.sums

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls!

The Benefits of Authentic Self- Love

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I have been working on some really useful content, and I’m happy to announce that I have personal development e-books available for purchase on SamCart that can help you change your life. At the moment, I have four e-books available:

Awaken Your True Calling

Gain Mental Clarity

The Gratitude Plan

Love Thyself

This week, I’m going to talk about the benefits of authentic self-love and highlight some of the points in my self-love e-book entitled Love Thyself. Enjoy!

Self-Love is the ultimate way to boost your self-esteem and become a fully healed and integrated human being. But so many people misunderstand what self-love truly is and how important it is to own our happiness. Truth be told, there are many people who do not have authentic self-love.

What is Self-Love?

There are many levels and descriptions of self-love and it can get complicated the more people you ask. To put it simply, self-love is honesty and acceptance of yourself. Self-Love is being in love with the person you are still evaluating yourself and striving to improve. Love literally powers the world. If you don’t love yourself, then you do not have power over yourself.

Here are some self-love exercises to help you strengthen your sense of self:

Shift Your Thoughts

The waking and sleeping hours are a prime time to master your thoughts and emotions. As you drift off to sleep, shift your thoughts to something positive or pleasant. These states are more powerful and set the tone for the rest of the day and night.

Journal

Keeping a gratitude journal is perfect for appreciating who you are and all that you have accomplished. The more you focus on things to be grateful for, the more things to be grateful for come to mind. A grateful mindset elevates your sense of self because you now have a positive mindset, and a positive mindset raises your level of self-love and self-awareness.

Prioritize Yourself

This is something that I mention in The Evolution as well. This step is paramount in the journey of self-love and self-discovery. Put yourself first with vacations, massages, extreme sports, concerts- whatever it is that you want to do. Unplug from technology and remove yourself from your everyday concerns for a few days or a few hours. You deserve supreme enjoyment, and it is what you are here for. Sadly, most people think that life is supposed to be a painful chore and create stress for themselves. Do not do this to yourself.

Do Not Interfere

Stop interfering with others at all costs. Unsolicited advice or actions from outside sources are rarely received well. Although we may have good intentions, interfering in someone else’s life is imposing our will on them and it is not our place to do that. It is important to be mindful of the boundaries of others, just as others should be mindful of your boundaries.

There seems to be some sort of virus going around where people are trying to make the world a better place by pointing out everything that’s wrong with the world and the people in it. But this is counterproductive. We must focus on ourselves as individuals first. If you do not focus on your own self-development, you will stifle yourself and elevation won’t be possible. And then you may find others interfering in your life in a similar fashion.

Meditate on Love

Meditation on love or focusing on the heart chakra is a chief recommendation among ancient spiritual scriptures. The heart chakra is a doorway to the higher self. If you put your energy there for extended periods of time, you’re sure to feel a wonderful shift and rise to your vibrational frequency. Heart work can be challenging, but it’s worth it.

Well, those are some of the highlights from the e-book. If you’d like more tips and self-love help, go ahead and purchase my e-book entitled Love Thyself.

You’re definitely worth it!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls…

Steps To Self Healing

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I have made some new strides and discoveries on my healing journey recently and wanted to share them with you. So, let’s cut through the fluff and get right to it, shall we?

Forgive Yourself

The first step on the healing journey is to forgive yourself. Realize that the things that you didn’t know or couldn’t control are not your fault and it’s unfair to you to continue to carry that emotional weight. Do not wait for others to apologize. Waiting for an apology only hinders the healing process, and they may never do so. You must move forward with or without an apology. Bad energy and emotional distress, when held long enough can manifest into physical ailments or psychological disorders. This, of course makes the healing process longer and more arduous.

Ask Yourself

Take a moment to focus on what exactly you want out of life moving forward. What will you do to make future situations more to your liking? Is the situation that caused you pain something that you can prevent or avoid moving forward? If not, is there a different way to handle the situation so that it isn’t damaging to you if it reoccurs? Another important question to ask yourself is: Is there a lesson that can be learned from the painful situation? Learning experiences often soften the blow of trauma and it would be beneficial to turn the pain into purpose.

Attention to Yourself

The only person that you can control in a situation is you. Pay attention to the way people, environments, and situations make you feel. If you feel like something is off- it probably is. No one else has to agree with you or feel what you feel. Pay attention to yourself, obey your intuition and remove yourself from the situation if that’s what you need to do. Monitoring your emotions is also a good way to self-heal because it places you in the position to do damage control early on and process negative emotions as they happen. This makes self-healing much easier and more efficient.

Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness can improve our thinking and raise our level of understanding. There are several ways to do this, by focusing on your breathing in a quiet place. This method most definitely works. I have done it at work many times when I didn’t have time to stop and meditate. Stop for a moment and take three deep breaths. I find that a five count works well. (Inhale: one, two, three, four, five. Exhale: one, two, three, four, five. Repeat)

My favorite way to practice mindfulness is meditation. I am personally a huge fan of meditation because it gives me a sense of calm when I feel sad, hurt, frustrated, or any other negative feelings and energies. Meditation clears the noise out of my head and I am able to think from a more elevated point of view.

In the near future, I will be posting guided meditations to assist with stress and anxiety, pain management, sleep, and a host of other topics. This will be available to my Patrons only, so subscribe if you’d like access to that!

Alone Time

Spending some time alone can bring joy and healing. Do something that you enjoy. It will ease your mind and raise your vibration considerably. My self-healing process involves writing, painting, listening to music, and/or dancing. Whatever takes you to a positive place- do that!

What are your methods of self-healing? I’d really like to know!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls