A Practical Guide to Behavioral Change

Hey Boo,

In a world that’s constantly evolving, the ability to change behaviors- whether personal or within a team- is a powerful asset. Behavioral change can lead to improved productivity, healthier habits, and a more fulfilling life. However, activating behavioral change isn’t always easy. It requires understanding your thought processes, employing strategic techniques, and maintaining consistency over time. This guide will show you how to successfully activate and sustain behavioral change.

Set Clear and Measurable Goals

Behavioral change begins with a clear understanding of what you want to achieve. Abstract goals like ‘get healthier’ or ‘be more productive’ often lead to confusion and lack of focus. Instead, break down these broader objectives into specific, actionable goals.

For example:

Exercise for 30 minutes, 3 times a week

Limit social media use to 1 hour per day

These goals should be measurable and time bound to track progress. The SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) goal setting framework is a useful tool here.

Understand the Triggers and Cues

Most behaviors are linked to specific triggers or cues. For instance, you may unconsciously grab a snack every time you sit down to watch TV. Recognizing these patterns is key to changing them. Start by:

Identifying the behavior you want to change.

Pinpointing the cue or trigger for that behavior. This could be a location, time of day, emotional state, or even people you’re around.

Once the trigger is identified, you can work on modifying it or replacing the undesired behavior with a positive one, also called a life giving activity.

Leverage the Power of Habit

According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, habits operate on a “cue-routine-routine” loop. To change behavior, you need to modify this loop:

Cue: The trigger that initiates the behavior.

Routine: The behavior or action itself

Reward: The positive reinforcement you get from the action.

By keeping the same cue and reward but changing the routine, you can reshape habits. For example, if you snack when stressed, find a new routine like drinking tea or going for a short walk. This will satisfy the craving for stress relief without the unhealthy behavior.

Use Positive Reinforcement: Positive reinforcement is a proven psychological technique to promote behavioral change. Reward yourself for sticking to new behaviors or achieving small milestones. Rewards can be intrinsic (a sense of accomplishment) or extrinsic (a treat, an experience, or a material reward). However, the reward should be tied to the effort and not undermine the goal (example: don’t reward a healthy week of eating with a day of overeating)

Harness the Power of Social Influence: We humans are social creatures and our behaviors are often influenced by the people around us. This can be used to your advantage.

Surround yourself with people who encourage and model the behavior you want to adopt.

Join communities, online or in person, where your new behavior is celebrated and supported. Seek out an accountability partner who can keep you on track and provide feedback.

Social influence creates a sense of accountability and normalizes the new behavior.

Start Small and Build Momentum: Often, people try to change too much too fast, leading to burnout, discouragement, or failure. Instead, focus on small incremental changes. For example, if your goal is to exercise regularly, start with 10 minutes a day instead of jumping into hour-long workouts. These small wins build momentum and make larger goals feel more attainable.

Use Visual Reminders: Visual cues can be a powerful tool to reinforce new behaviors. Some common strategies include:

Keeping a habit tracker where you mark off each day you complete the desired action.

Placing reminders in visible places (Sticky notes or your mirror, phone alarms)

Creating vision boards that reflect the results of your desired behavioral change.

These visual tools keep the goal front and center in your mind and increase your chances of sticking to it.

Plan for Setbacks: Behavioral change is rarely linear. There will be moments when you fall back into old patterns, and that’s okay. The key is to recognize that setbacks are part of the process, not a sign of failure. When a slip-up happens:

Analyze what triggered the old behavior.

Reaffirm your commitment to the change.

Adjust your approach if necessary and keep moving forward.

Having a plan for setbacks makes it easier to bounce back and avoid guilt of frustration.

Consistency Over Intensity: Consistency is more important than intensity when it comes to lasting behavioral change. Daily or regular practice, even in small amounts, is more effective than intense but infrequent efforts. Aim for sustainable actions that you can integrate into your daily life.

For example, if you want to develop a meditation habit, it’s better to start with 5 minutes a day consistently rather than attempting an hour-long session once a week.

Track and Reflect on Progress: Regular reflection helps you assess what’s working and what isn’t. Keep a journal, use a habit tracking app, or simply spend time each week reviewing your progress. These practices:

Reinforce the positive changes you’ve made.

Highlight areas for improvement.

Encourage further growth.

By reflecting on your journey, you’ll remain motivated and aware of the progress you’ve made, which can help maintain the behavior in long term.

Activating behavioral change is both an art and a science. It requires self-awareness, strategic planning, and persistence. By setting clear goals, understanding the psychology behind habits, and staying consistent, anyone can create lasting change in their behavior. Whether you want to be healthier, more productive, or achieve personal growth, these steps will help you initiate and sustain meaningful change.

Go forth and be great, Boo. You got this!

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

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You Made Me Who I am Today, But if I Never Saw You Again it Would be Too Soon.

Hey Boo!

For this week’s blog, I thought I’d do something different. A week or so ago, I saw a post from a content creator expressing love and gratitude to the person who helped them elevate to their current level of being. It brought me joy to see the post, but it also caused me to reflect on the person who made me who I am today and that’s not quite as joyful a story. I want to share some of my story with you in the form of a letter. Here goes:

Dear “Deion”,

A lot has happened since we last spoke. It’s been over two years since we’ve had any communication at all, and I know that’s not what you wanted, but it’s what I needed. I blocked you on social media, changed my number and stopped responding to your e-mails because it was clear that you were still unwilling to claim any responsibility for the way our marriage fell apart. My jaw hit the floor when I read your line about how ‘if anyone was afraid, it should be you’. I was amazed and appalled, especially since it was me who was threatened with a steel pipe and chased away from my home on foot.

I won’t mince words- our marriage was a complete disaster. From the very beginning you weren’t honest about who you were. You lied about your age, how many children you had, and your criminal history just to name a few things. The thing about that is if you were honest from the beginning, I may have still given you a chance.  I thought you were a decent guy and my heart went out to you as you talked about the women in your past and how they’d done you wrong. I had experienced similar hurt and betrayal and just wanted someone I could love freely who would reciprocate. I thought that I’d found that in you. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.

You looked me in my eyes as I shared my pain, vulnerabilities, and fears and you vowed to be different. And I guess you didn’t lie because you were different. You turned out to be much worse than anything I’d encountered before.

The first few months were blissful. You were caring, thoughtful, and attentive. You looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life. You told me that you’d never met a woman like me, and you appreciated all of the things that I did for you out of love. You said you loved everything about me- how I dressed and presented myself, my intelligence and personality, even my goals and aspirations. I had written and self-published a book and you had offered to help me promote it on social media. I was so happy to be your wife. I would’ve went to the ends of the earth for you because I loved you. And you loved me too, right?

Wrong.

After the first few months, I never saw the man I married again. Your representative had disappeared, and I was left with something that you had actually never shared with me, your true self. You started complaining about the very things you claimed to love and understand. We began to fight a lot and I made changes to keep the peace. You didn’t want me working, so I quit. You felt like social media was causing problems in our marriage, so I disconnected. I changed how I dressed so that you wouldn’t think I was ‘trying to look good for someone else’. Essentially, I tried to become everything you wanted me to be. But even that wasn’t enough. Every time I met your expectations, you created new ones for me to meet. As I put in more effort, you put in even less. The fighting increased and intensified to the point of exhaustion. Sometimes things got physical, and let’s not forget the night you could’ve ended both of our lives.

It may seem like I’m trying to dump all of the blame on you, but I’m not. Although youdid a lot of very hurtful things to me, it was I who allowed them. I take responsibility for my lack of self-esteem, poor boundaries, and codependency. I acknowledge that there were red flags that I ignored because I was already so convinced that you were the one. I made excuses for you and dismissed things that I shouldn’t have.

During the course of our marriage, I gained over 60 pounds, struggled with bouts of depression and ptsd, and experienced multiple lupus flares due to stress. I was stifled, isolated, and miserable.

Outside of the passing of my parents, our marriage was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I’d never felt so broken, so worthless, so low. But it was also one of the most impactful. Because when you hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but UP. And that’s what I did. From the trauma and pain I was able to heal and rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

And in some way, I have you to thank for that. The truth is, you helped make me the person I am today but if I never saw you again it would be too soon. I don’t wish you any harm and I truly hope that you are able to heal from your wounds and find peace. Because that’s what I was able to do and it’s absolutely blissful. Not perfect but blissful.

Goodbye “Deion”, and good luck.

Well, that’s all I have for this week beautiful souls. Until next time, keep Glowing…