5 Signs You’re Healing (Even if it Doesn’t Feel Like It)

Hey Boo!

If you’re on a healing journey then you know that healing doesn’t always feel good. Some days, healing feels like breaking. Like going in circles. Like you’re never going to get “there”- wherever there is. I’ve been there more times than I can count.

One thing that I’ve discovered is that healing isn’t always loud. It isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it’s subtle and sacred. It hides in the way you keep going, even when it hurts.

Here are five signs that you’re healing, even if doesn’t feel like it right now:

You’re More Aware of What Triggers You

Before, Things might’ve thrown you into a spiral without warning. Now? You notice. You see the common themes in the situations that put you in a negative space. You’re more aware of your emotional state than you use to be. That awareness is growth. It means your mind is working with you now, not against you. Healing begins with noticing.

You Set Boundaries (Even if it Feels Uncomfortable)

You used to put the comfort of others ahead of your own. You’d be the first to show up for others and the last to show up for yourself. But now, you’ve started saying no, taking up space, and not explaining yourself every time. If you’ve been doing any of those things lately, even awkwardly- you’re healing. You’re learning to protect your peace. Boundaries are an act of healing and self love.

You’re Gentler with Yourself Than You Used to Be

You used to live in this loop of overthinking then beating yourself up, and it was hard for you to forgive yourself. But now you find that you give yourself a bit more grace and forgiveness. That grace and forgiveness is the softness that comes as a result of healing. Self-compassion is quiet, but it changes everything.

You Don’t Chase What Once Broke You

The old relationship, that toxic friend, the bad habit that you always ran to. If you’re choosing yourself and walking away from the things that once hurt you, you’ve shown a great amount of strength. That’s healing. Walking away isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.

You Still Hope- Even a Little

If you’re here, reading this, trying to feel better… that’s hope. Even when it’s dim. Even when it’s tired. Hope is a sign that somewhere deep down, you believe in the possibility of more. Healing is holding onto hope in the dark.

You may not see your progress, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Healing isn’t linear. It’s messy and painful and brave. You’re doing better than you think.

Keep Glowing

Silence Your Negative Thoughts

Hey Boo!

Have you ever received a negative comment or had an intrusive thought that sent you on a downward spiral? Well, today I will be sharing my two step process to silence negative thoughts.

Step 1: Question It

The very first thing to do when you have a negative thought or receive a negative comment is question it. Ask yourself, “Is this statement true?” If it was a comment, don’t focus on who said it, how they said it, or why they said it. This will only create a cascade of negative thoughts to help accelerate your downward spiral. Take only the words and do an honest self-evaluation.

If you find the statement to be true, Step 1A is to take accountability for it. The comment or thought is a direct result of your behavior. For example: “That person called me a thief because I stole their car.” As you reflect and take accountability, look for the lesson that can be learned. This is a moment of character development. Take this opportunity to acknowledge where you need to grow and move forward a more improved individual.

After step 1: Question It and step 1a: Take Accountability come step 2: Counter-Attack. The counter attack is necessary so that you don’t ruminate on the negative comment or the mistake you made. Simply put, your counter-attack is to leave the past behind you. Remember that self-reflection and accountability disempower guilt and shame. Once you make a decision to learn and take corrective action, the negative comment or thought is no longer valid because your reality is now different.

But what if you reflected on the comment and it isn’t true or valid at all?

You still use a counterattack to distinguish the negative thought or comment, but your approach is slightly different. The counterattack for a limiting belief or something untrue would go like something like this:

This is not true because of this. (Provide examples for yourself of when you’ve disproved the thought or comment. For example: ‘this person called me a thief, but I’ve never stolen anything in my life. Or, this person called me a thief, but I haven’t stolen anything since I was incarcerated and turned my life around.)

If you can’t think of an example, counterattack with an affirmation that states the opposite. (For example: This person called me a thief but that isn’t true. I am honest, trustworthy, or forthright.)

So Boo, the next time you receive a negative comment, have a negative intrusive thought or limiting belief remember to follow the two-step process:

Question It

1a. Take Accountability

2. CounterAttack

Remember to keep growing and glowing and don’t let the negativity defeat you! Until next time Boo.

3 Keys To Boosting Your Confidence

Hey Boo!

Since I’ve been on my healing journey, I’ve reflected a lot on the importance of confidence. Often, I find myself thinking, if I was more confident, I would’ve never let that fly! Or even, if I was more confident, I would’ve taken that opportunity. If I’m being honest, my low sense of self worth and lack of confidence have been my biggest obstacles personally and professionally. In the past I shrunk in social spaces and sought to blend in rather than take up space. No doubt, I’ve stifled my coaching business with my lack of confidence as well. For the first year, I felt like a complete fraud (imposter syndrome) and would rarely even mention my coaching services or abilities.

As I continue to heal and build, I have learned that the key to success is inner confidence and I want to increase that – both for myself and my clients. So let’s build our confidence together. Not just because it feels good, but because self-confidence also translates into other areas and creates healthier relationships, resilience, better work performance, and the courage to try new things. Here’s what I know so far:

Many strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior, and practical tips exist for improving your life and self-image, but none of them are worth anything without foundation. You know deep down who you are, and that is the foundation. It would be best to have a certain level of confidence to find that and show your true self – here are the three keys to absolute inner assurance.

1. Get To Know Your Values

A person must know and understand their values to feel genuinely confident inside. As part of who you are, your values are the building blocks, the foundations, and cornerstones of who you are. Whether it be beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement, or freedom, a value you hold most dear.

What causes you to feel angry, frustrated, demotivated, or deflated when encountering some people and situations? Of course, we think negatively when one or more of our values is denied, suppressed, or repressed since it diminishes a fundamental element of our identities. But, on the other hand, do you know those times when you’ve felt alive, unique, or thrilled? Those are the times when you honored your values. You need to get to a point where you are experiencing accurate alignment, like that, consistently.

Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. However, you can have absolute confidence in them because they’re there all the time, just waiting for you to notice and use them. When you get to know your values, you can start making choices and aligning your life around them. Talking with a coach or therapist to recognize and honor your values is the first step to seeing where change needs to occur. Taking this self-inventory will help you gain confidence in yourself and who you are.

2. Exercise Your Confidence muscle

You need to exercise your confidence to ensure that it does not shrink or waste away. Consider the case of someone who doesn’t take many risks, goes through their daily routines doing what has to be done and doing it well, but not expanding their horizons very much. Because something is too scary or because it’s not who you are, or you don’t want it, you might talk yourself out of doing it. It is that kind of person who lives within the boundaries of their knowledge and comfort. Taking a more negligible risk requires them to be less confident, and they become less satisfied as a result.

No matter how big or small, take risks to flex your confidence muscle. You may benefit from stretching yourself in an unfamiliar direction, from trying something new or trying it a bit differently. You much be open to possibilities around you and push yourself to learn, grow, and become more. You will develop more confidence the more relaxed you are to risk, opportunity, and possibility.

3. Watch What You Say To Yourself

We all talk to ourselves as we think about things. We say something like, “I could never do that” or “I will never succeed.” This type of inner talk can be pretty negative and self-sabotage our goals and find joy. Creating new mantras in our heads that are more positive takes time and consistency. Like establishing any new habits, it’s essential to be mindful of what we are doing and thinking to make an overall change. Replace your old mantras with one or two new and positive ones and add more until you develop a new mindset. The mantras should be personal to what you need; however, here are a few positive mantras to implement.

I am confident.
I am grateful for everything I have in my life.
I am intelligent and focused.
Today is a phenomenal day.
I am growing
I am learning
I overcome all obstacles
I am making the correct change

Life gets easier when you genuinely feel inner confidence. Inner confidence is a gift that plays out in so many ways. And best of all? It’s something you control. This list provides a few ways to start increasing your confidence.

Learning how to act confident can help you feel more satisfied in many cases. Additionally, it’s always helpful to have someone in your corner when making significant changes. Getting a coach can significantly help you achieve your goals and create the life you have always dreamed of.

Are there any topics you’d like me to cover? Let me know in the comments!

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

9 Ways to Fight Your Fears

Hey Boo!

Fear gets to the best of us, whether it is fear of failure, fear of success or even fear of fear. All of us have experienced fear at some point in our lives and it can be a real stumbling block that holds us back from being truly successful.

Don’t let fear rob you of the life you desire. Conquer your fear and regain control! Here are 9 ways for you to do just that:

Separate Reality from Perception

Sometimes our fears aren’t legitimate, are worst-case scenarios, or are unlikely to happen. Ask yourself what is really going on, locate the facts and place them over your feelings.

Identify the Trigger

Figure out what it is in a situation that triggers you. Learning to identify it will help you learn to combat it.

Know where Fear Lives in Your Body

A lot of times, fear takes over physically. It affects different people different ways. Identify if/how it affects your physical body and do the work to take care of your body. Ex: if you hold stress in your back, you can learn stretches, foam rolling, etc. to avoid the pain.

Practice Gratitude

Everyday list 1-3 things you are thankful for. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, gratitude helps shift the mind into a positive light, which over time, diminishes fear.

Listen to Your Inner Voice

Monitor your inner dialogue. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Speak positively to yourself and remind yourself of your strengths. Negative self-talk increases self-doubt and in turn, fear.

Create a New Association

Remind yourself that the feeling and the moment will pass. Focus on the positive outcome of the situation, rather than the scary in-between.

Look at the Glass as “Half Full”

Perception is a very powerful thing, and how you feel about your situation dictates how you respond. So, think positively and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of success. This won’t happen overnight; practice with just one thought. What is one recurring negative/fearful thought you have? Work on reversing this one thought. Overtime, this will become a habit.

Practice Breathing Exercises

Breathing helps center your body. You can do a grounding exercise, or even just take 5 deep, long breaths at any point to calm and center yourself. It is best to start your day with this, but feel free to practice all day long.

Create a Safe Space

When you feel safe and secure, there is no room for fear. Find somewhere safe you can retreat to when ill feelings begin- whether this is a real place such as your bedroom, or a place in your mind such as the beach. This sense of comfort will soothe you and allow you to face your fear.

Try those strategies and see what works best for you. Start implementing these techniques into your life and don’t let fear hold you back from reaching your goals and your highest potential this year!

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

The Many Faces of Self-Sabotage

Hey Boo!

To close the subject of self-sabotage (for now, at least) I wanted to write this blog post revealing the many faces of it. If left unchecked, self-sabotage can exacerbate or cause anxiety, distorted thoughts, and awaken a harsh inner critic that hurls us into survival mode with its overthinking. It’s vital that we recognize the signs of self-sabotage so that we can adjust our behavior and redirect ourselves. Self-sabotage can show up in our lives in many ways: in our career, education, romantic partnerships, friendships and family dynamics, and even in our health. Here is the list of ways that self-sabotage can occur in each of these categories.

Self-Sabotage in Your Career

It’s not uncommon for self-sabotaging habits to show up most in our career, in fact according to the Self-Sabotage Workbook by The Daily Wellness, the career is the area that people who self-sabotage struggle with the most. Here are the nine signs of self-sabotage in your career to look out for:

Indecision. You struggle or hesitate to make decisions and choose behaviors that block you from achieving your goals. (This is likely due to overthinking or self-doubt)
Not Taking Risks. Taking calculated risks is essential for career growth, but if you’re afraid to take risks you may be missing out on great opportunities.
Not Staying Organized. If you can’t stay organized, you may miss important deadlines or forget to take care of tasks.
Not Being Proactive. Waiting for instructions or tasks to be handed to you is not the best way to get ahead. Initiative is needed to move forward.
Not Setting Goals. Without goals, you don’t have anything to strive for, and that can lead to complacency.
Refusing to Accept Constructive Criticism. If you’re not willing to listen to criticism and learn from it, you may be hindering your career progress.
Not Seeking Feedback. Not taking the time to get feedback from your peers or supervisors can keep you from understanding and improving your skills and performance.
Failing to Focus on Development. Investing in yourself through training and development is essential, especially if you want to move up in your field.
Seeking Comfort. You might stay in your career comfort zone due to fear of failure of uncertainty.

Self-Sabotage in Your Education

Education and schooling can highlight strengths and weaknesses, and future goals, which can often bring about self-sabotaging behaviors like professionalism and procrastination. Self-Sabotage in your education shows up in these eight ways:

Procrastinating. Putting off studying, completing assignments and other tasks that are essential for academic success.

Being Disorganized. Not having a plan for completing tasks or deadlines, or not keeping track of important dates and materials.

Lack of Focus. Not being able to concentrate on the task at hand and allowing distractions to get in the way of learning.

Not Asking For Help. Not seeking advice or assistance from teachers, tutors, or peers when needed.

Not Taking Breaks. Trying to cram too much studying in a short period of time, which can lead to burn-out.

Unrealistic Expectations. Setting goals that are too difficult to achieve or not allowing for any mistakes.

Not Taking Responsibility. Blaming others for mistakes or not taking ownership of a situation.

Not Making Healthy Choices. Not getting enough sleep eating unhealthy foods or engaging in other activities that can affect your ability to focus.

Self-Sabotage in Your Romantic Partnerships

Previous traumas, childhood relationships with your parents, and self-esteem are some of the biggest factors that can contribute to you self-sabotaging your romantic relationships. Here are 13 ways that self-sabotaging can affect romantic relationships:

Not communicating openly and honestly

Blaming the other person for your own issues

Resisting vulnerability

Putting up walls

Not being able to forgive

Having unrealistic expectations

Having a lack of trust

Making assumptions about the other person

Not respecting boundaries

Constantly seeking reassurance, validation, or approval

Using the silent treatment to punish the other person

Allowing outside influences to interfere in the relationship

Not taking the time to nurture the relationship

Self-Sabotage in Your Friendships/Family

Relationships with friends and family members are layered and complex. It can often bring about questions about your self-worth, self-esteem, having to practice boundaries, and unconscious behaviors you may not be aware of. There are nearly 20 ways to sabotage your relationship with family members or friends. Here they are:

Not making time for friends or not showing up when plans are made.

Making negative comments about others.

Being unreliable or not following through on promises.

Withholding compliments or downplaying another person’s successes.

Refusing to listen or hear out another person’s point of view.

Failing to be honest or keeping secrets from friends.

Jealousy or feeling threatened by another person’s successes.

Blaming others for one’s own mistakes.

Not being supportive of friends/family members during difficult times.

Gossiping or talking badly about other people or friends.

Comparing one’s friends to others or putting them down.

Not respecting boundaries or taking advantage of the friendship.

Ignoring or disrespecting a friend’s feelings.

Not apologizing when wrong or not taking responsibility for mistakes.

Not giving your friends the same attention as you give to others.

Being overly competitive or trying to one-up friends.

Making friends feel like they’re not important or not valued.

Not being honest about one’s feelings or intentions.

Not being flexible or open to compromise.

Not being present or engaged when spending time with friends or family members.

And last but certainly not least-

Self-Sabotage in Your Health

People often self-sabotage their health by having unhealthy habits and attitudes that can lead to physical and mental issues. Here are ten ways that we sabotage our physical health:

Eating a diet poor in nutrients

Not getting enough sleep

Not drinking enough water

Failing to exercise regularly

Not taking your medication

Drinking or smoking excessively

Neglecting your mental health

Excessive social media use

Engaging in dangerous activities

Not making time for hobbies or relaxation

Being aware of the many ways that we self-sabotage can help us avoid these tendencies or habits and adjust early on. As they say, prevention is better than treatment and the goal is to break the cycle of self sabotage and thrive on the greatest level of authenticity.

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

The Downward Spiral of Self-Sabotage

Hey Boo!

This week, we are talking about self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is the act of consciously or subconsciously undermining one’s own efforts or progress. Self-sabotage can appear in the form of procrastination-putting off tasks that are important to you or engaging in activities that are counterproductive. Self-sabotage could also be negative self-talk or self-defeating behaviors that prevent you from achieving your goals or reaching your fullest potential.

What drives self-sabotage? Fear. Generally, self-sabotage is driven by fear on some level. This underlying fear can contribute to procrastination and perfectionism, and before we know it, we are on a downward spiral. The procrastination and perfectionism caused by our fear increases anxiety which can lead us to think in the form of worst-case scenarios. Constantly thinking of worst-case scenarios causes distorted beliefs about ourselves and the world, which ignites our inner critic. The inner critic has such harsh inner dialogue that it often keeps us stifled, frozen, or running in place- avoiding important tasks or wasting time with insignificant ones. The more the harsh inner dialogue continues, the further we are driven into survival mode. In survival mode, the brain is constantly on the lookout for threats to your safety. This unconscious vigilance can drive you to hold on to old issues to protect you from physical or emotional damage. We cannot be abundant or reach our fullest potential in survival mode, so it’s very important to break to debilitating habit of self-sabotage.

The first step in breaking this habit is to become aware of it – to identify when and why you are engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. Once you have identified the behavior, it is important to understand the underlying causes or triggers for it. This may require exploring your thoughts and feelings in order to better understand why you are engaging in these behaviors.

Once you have identified the triggers, the next step is to replace the self-sabotaging behavior with more positive, productive behaviors. This could be anything from taking a break when you feel overwhelmed, engaging in positive self-talk, to scheduling regular breaks throughout your day.

Finally, it is important to be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion. Self-sabotage is often a defense mechanism, and it is important to remember that it is not a reflection of your worth or ability. It is possible to break the habit of self-sabotage and take the steps to make positive changes in your life. With this blog and the journaling prompts I hope to help you shed some light on your self-sabotage habits, learn how to recognize them, identify which areas of your life they show up most, and how to manage your habits by creating new ones.

Be sure to follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and/or TikTok (@mimi.sums) for more self-sabotaging and personal development content.

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

What’s in Your Coping Toolbox?

Hey Boo!

Life consistently presents us with challenges and changes and at times this can lead to us feeling stressed. Learning to cope with various life situations is the key to succeeding with stress rather than experiencing distress. This blog contains ideas for coping with stress and acute emotional crises. Here are some ideas for coping with stress:

Understand more about stress – this involves recognizing your sources of stress and how stress affects you personally. Plan for stressful periods.

Problem-solve – what is the problem, be specific and break it down into realistic achievable components. Then set goals on how to deal with each problem. Make sure you include how to begin your plan of action.

Develop new behavior – if you take on too much or have problems saying no, practice being more assertive. Learn to manage your time more effectively and delegate wherever possible! Avoid procrastination. Remind yourself that procrastination causes unneeded anxiety. Get the task done and out of the way so that you don’t’ have to worry about it later.

Make sure you develop a support network – deliberately develop good supportive relationships. Ask for help when needed and accept it when offered. You must also be prepared to do the same for others.

Make time to relax and enjoy yourself – how many of us know we should do more of this but don’t make the time? Set aside time each day to relax and build this into your routine. Develop hobbies and leisure activities that help you to switch off.

Ideas For Coping with Acute Emotional Distress

Use of distraction – the aim of this is to limit the time you spend in contact with the emotional stimuli, the things that are causing you to feel emotional. The stimuli could be anything from another person to the thoughts that you are having. Distraction involves doing something else to absorb your attention.

Imagery – think of safe and soothing images. This involves imagining images that make you feel good, it may be a favorite place, person, pet or scenes from nature.

Relaxation – learn a simple technique like using peripheral vision to induce relaxation. Peripheral vision is effective at switching on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system responsible for making us feel calm. It’s not possible to feel anxious or distressed while fully relaxed in peripheral vision.

Live in the moment – as adults we tend to spend much of our time stuck contemplating what went wrong in the past or what may go wrong in the future. Try and just focus on the ‘moment’. Perhaps this may involve thinking something like ‘I’m in my house in my favorite chair, I’m warm and comfortable and I have a good book to read’.

Exercise – physical activity can help to disperse the chemicals released in your body by the stress response. It also releases feel good chemicals known as endorphins.

Soothe yourself – do something to nurture your 5 senses. Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Until Next time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

10 Ways to Stay Calm in Stressful Situations

Hey Boo!

Anger is a natural emotion, but when anger becomes overwhelming or frequent, it can negatively affect your personal and professional life. Managing your anger effectively can lead to better relationships, improved health, and a more peaceful state of mind. Here are some tips to help you manage anger in a healthy and constructive way.

Recognize Your Triggers

The first step in managing anger is to become aware of what sets you off. Take note of the situations, people, and thoughts that tend to provoke anger. Once you’ve identified your triggers, you can prepare for them or avoid them altogether. If avoidance isn’t an option, work on a plan to remain calm when these triggers occur. (Try shifting your focus from the triggering aspects of the task or situation and instead focus on the urgency of the matter. Commit your attention to getting through the situation in the best way possible and then decompress as soon as you are able to.)

Take a Time Out

When you feel anger rising, give yourself a brief break. Step away from the situation to collect your thoughts and calm down. A five minute walk, deep breathing, or simply sitting quietly can help lower the intensity of your emotions and prevent you from saying or doing something you’ll regret.

Practice Deep Breathing

Speaking of deep breathing…Controlled breathing is a powerful tool for reducing anger. When you’re upset, your heart rate and breathing quicken. By taking slow, deep breaths, you can signal to your body that it’s time to relax. Try inhaling for a count of three, holding for three, and exhaling for another count of three. Repeat this until you feel your anger subsiding.

Use “I” Statements

When discussing what’s making you upset, avoid placing blame on others. Instead of saying “You never listen to me!” Try something like, “I feel frustrated because I don’t feel heard.” This shifts the focus to how you feel without attacking the other person, which can lead to a more productive conversation and resolution.

Engage in Physical Activity

Physical exercise is a great way to release built-up tension and manage anger. Whether it’s going for a run, hitting the gym, practicing yoga, or dancing, moving your body helps to reduce stress hormones and improve your mood. It also gives you time to reflect on what’s bothering you.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

Incorporating relaxation techniques like meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualization into your daily routine can make it easier to stay calm in stressful situations. These techniques help to reset your emotional response and prevent anger from building over time. (Other relaxation techniques include yoga, listening to calming music, aromatherapy, and taking a warm bath.)

Know When to Seek Help

If your anger is frequent or intense enough that it’s affecting your relationships, job, or overall wellbeing, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of your anger and teach you strategies to manage it more effectively.

Focus on Solutions, Not Problems

When something causes you to be upset, shift your focus to something positive rather than dwelling on the issue and how you feel about it. Ask yourself, “What can I do to resolve this?” By focusing on what you can control, you’ll feel more empowered and less overwhelmed by your emotions.

Keep a Journal

Writing about your anger can provide a safe outlet for expressing your feelings, Keeping a journal allows you to reflect on why you’re upset, recognize patterns in your anger, and come up with strategies to address those emotions more constructively in the future.

Use Humor to Defuse Tension

Humor can help reduce tension and make it easier to see the situation from a different perspective. While it’s important to avoid sarcasm or mocking, light humor can sometimes diffuse a tense moment and help you relax. Laughter is a great way to lighten the emotional load.

*Remember to proceed with caution while using this tip. It’s important to not make light of another person’s anger, so make sure you read the room before using humor.

Anger doesn’t have to control your life. By practicing these anger management tips, you’ll be able to handle stressful situations with more patience and clarity. Remember, it’s not about suppressing your anger but learning how to express it in a way that’s healthy and productive.

Do you have any tips for managing anger that work for you? Please share them!

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

How to Find Your Real Self Again

Hey Boo!

On the surface it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to “fit in”. We find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and who love us.

But sometimes that means that you have to suppress what you know is the real person inside.

And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else.

If you’re ready to get reacquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 4 ideas to help you rediscover the real you.

Quiet the noise in your head

You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the family appointments, keep the boss happy, etc. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything else. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack.

Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways

In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined –that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.”

Listen to your heart

Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important.

Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal

What you’re really after is a feeling — respect, love, appreciation – as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through.

A person you can know and love – you! – is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you’ll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, that’s what you’re really looking for, isn’t it?

Until Next Time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

10 Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Hey Boo!

Confidence is a trait that many of us admire in others but struggle to develop in ourselves. But the good news is that even if you don’t have confidence naturally, confidence is a skill that can be learned and cultivated. Like any other skill, it grows with intention, practice, and persistence. In this blog, we’ll explore practical ways to boost your confidence and create lasting self-assurance.

Understand the Root of Low Confidence

The first step to boosting your confidence is identifying what holds you back. Is it fear of failure? Comparison to others? Negative self-talk? Understanding the root cause allows you to address it head-on.

Action Step

Take time to reflect. Journal about moments when you felt your confidence waver. What were the triggers? Awareness is the foundation of change.

Celebrate Small Wins

Confidence builds through achievement. It’s not about waiting for monumental successes, but about recognizing the small victories that happen everyday. Whether it’s finishing a challenging task, learning something new, or even showing kindness to someone else, these small wins accumulate into a greater sense of accomplishment.

Action Step

Start a “win journal.’ Each day, write down three things you accomplished or are proud of, no matter how small. Over time, this practice will remind you of your growth and progress.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Our internal dialogue greatly impacts our confidence. If you frequently tell yourself you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The key to reversing this is to become aware of these thoughts and replace them with empowering beliefs.

Action Step

When you find yourself engaging in negative self talk, pause and ask: “Is this thought helpful? Is it true?” Replace it with a positive affirmation or a more constructive perspective. For example, instead of thinking, “I’ll never be able to do this” shift to, “I’m learning and improving every day.”

Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

True confidence comes from facing challenges and stepping out of your comfort zone. By confronting fear and uncertainty, you gradually prove to yourself that you are capable of more than you thought.

Action Step

Identify one thing that scares you but could help you grow. It could be public speaking, starting a new project, or joining a group activity. Take small, calculated steps toward that goal and celebrate your progress along the way.

Cultivate Self-Compassion

Confidence isn’t about perfection, it’s about self-acceptance. Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes or when things don’t go as planned. Embrace failure as part of the learning process, not a reflection of your worth.

Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a close friend, when things don’t go well, instead of criticizing yourself, offer words of encouragement. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and they opportunities for growth.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people you surround yourself with have a significant impact on your confidence. Negative, critical, or unsupportive relationships can drain your self-esteem, while positive, encouraging ones can uplift and empower you.

Action Step

Evaluate your relationships. Are they supportive and uplifting? If not, consider setting boundaries with negative influences and seeking out individuals who inspire and motivate you.

Focus on Your Strengths

Everyone has unique strengths and talents. Often, we focus so much on our weaknesses that we forget to celebrate what we’re good at. Confidence grows when we recognize and play to our strengths.

Action Step

Make a list of your strengths, talents, and things you enjoy doing. How can you incorporate more of these into your daily life? The more you align with your strengths, the more confident you’ll feel.

Practice Body Language

Confidence isn’t just a mindset- it’s also physical. How you carry yourself affects how you feel. Standing tall, maintaining good posture, and making eye contact can send signals to both yourself as well as others that you are confident, even if you don’t feel that way at first.

Action Step

Practice standing with your shoulders back and your head held high. Smile more often and make eye contact. Notice how these small adjustments shift your mood and the way others respond to you.

Set and Achieve Realistic Goals

Setting and achieving goals, no matter how small, is a powerful way to build confidence. Each goal you accomplish reinforces the belief that you are capable.

Action Step

Break larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Focus on making steady progress, and each completed step will boost your confidence.

Visualize Your Success

Visualization is a powerful tool for boosting confidence. When you imagine yourself succeeding, your brain starts to believe it’s possible. This mental rehearsal prepares you for the real thing.

Action Step

Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself achieving a specific goal or handling a challenging situation with confidence. Imagine how you’ll feel and the actions you’ll take. This practice will help you feel more prepared when the moment comes.

Building confidence is a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and consistent effort. By taking small steps each day and practicing the strategies outlined in this blog, you’ll find yourself growing stronger, more resilient, and more confident in every aspect of your life.

Remember confidence is not about having it all together. It’s about believing in your ability to learn, grow, and handle whatever comes your way. Keep going Boo, and you’ll be amazed at the new heights you’ll reach!

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…