How to Find Your Real Self Again

Hey Boo!

On the surface it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to “fit in”. We find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and who love us.

But sometimes that means that you have to suppress what you know is the real person inside.

And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else.

If you’re ready to get reacquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 4 ideas to help you rediscover the real you.

Quiet the noise in your head

You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the family appointments, keep the boss happy, etc. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything else. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack.

Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways

In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined –that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.”

Listen to your heart

Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important.

Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal

What you’re really after is a feeling — respect, love, appreciation – as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through.

A person you can know and love – you! – is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you’ll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, that’s what you’re really looking for, isn’t it?

Until Next Time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

10 Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Hey Boo!

Confidence is a trait that many of us admire in others but struggle to develop in ourselves. But the good news is that even if you don’t have confidence naturally, confidence is a skill that can be learned and cultivated. Like any other skill, it grows with intention, practice, and persistence. In this blog, we’ll explore practical ways to boost your confidence and create lasting self-assurance.

Understand the Root of Low Confidence

The first step to boosting your confidence is identifying what holds you back. Is it fear of failure? Comparison to others? Negative self-talk? Understanding the root cause allows you to address it head-on.

Action Step

Take time to reflect. Journal about moments when you felt your confidence waver. What were the triggers? Awareness is the foundation of change.

Celebrate Small Wins

Confidence builds through achievement. It’s not about waiting for monumental successes, but about recognizing the small victories that happen everyday. Whether it’s finishing a challenging task, learning something new, or even showing kindness to someone else, these small wins accumulate into a greater sense of accomplishment.

Action Step

Start a “win journal.’ Each day, write down three things you accomplished or are proud of, no matter how small. Over time, this practice will remind you of your growth and progress.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Our internal dialogue greatly impacts our confidence. If you frequently tell yourself you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The key to reversing this is to become aware of these thoughts and replace them with empowering beliefs.

Action Step

When you find yourself engaging in negative self talk, pause and ask: “Is this thought helpful? Is it true?” Replace it with a positive affirmation or a more constructive perspective. For example, instead of thinking, “I’ll never be able to do this” shift to, “I’m learning and improving every day.”

Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

True confidence comes from facing challenges and stepping out of your comfort zone. By confronting fear and uncertainty, you gradually prove to yourself that you are capable of more than you thought.

Action Step

Identify one thing that scares you but could help you grow. It could be public speaking, starting a new project, or joining a group activity. Take small, calculated steps toward that goal and celebrate your progress along the way.

Cultivate Self-Compassion

Confidence isn’t about perfection, it’s about self-acceptance. Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes or when things don’t go as planned. Embrace failure as part of the learning process, not a reflection of your worth.

Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a close friend, when things don’t go well, instead of criticizing yourself, offer words of encouragement. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and they opportunities for growth.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people you surround yourself with have a significant impact on your confidence. Negative, critical, or unsupportive relationships can drain your self-esteem, while positive, encouraging ones can uplift and empower you.

Action Step

Evaluate your relationships. Are they supportive and uplifting? If not, consider setting boundaries with negative influences and seeking out individuals who inspire and motivate you.

Focus on Your Strengths

Everyone has unique strengths and talents. Often, we focus so much on our weaknesses that we forget to celebrate what we’re good at. Confidence grows when we recognize and play to our strengths.

Action Step

Make a list of your strengths, talents, and things you enjoy doing. How can you incorporate more of these into your daily life? The more you align with your strengths, the more confident you’ll feel.

Practice Body Language

Confidence isn’t just a mindset- it’s also physical. How you carry yourself affects how you feel. Standing tall, maintaining good posture, and making eye contact can send signals to both yourself as well as others that you are confident, even if you don’t feel that way at first.

Action Step

Practice standing with your shoulders back and your head held high. Smile more often and make eye contact. Notice how these small adjustments shift your mood and the way others respond to you.

Set and Achieve Realistic Goals

Setting and achieving goals, no matter how small, is a powerful way to build confidence. Each goal you accomplish reinforces the belief that you are capable.

Action Step

Break larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Focus on making steady progress, and each completed step will boost your confidence.

Visualize Your Success

Visualization is a powerful tool for boosting confidence. When you imagine yourself succeeding, your brain starts to believe it’s possible. This mental rehearsal prepares you for the real thing.

Action Step

Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself achieving a specific goal or handling a challenging situation with confidence. Imagine how you’ll feel and the actions you’ll take. This practice will help you feel more prepared when the moment comes.

Building confidence is a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and consistent effort. By taking small steps each day and practicing the strategies outlined in this blog, you’ll find yourself growing stronger, more resilient, and more confident in every aspect of your life.

Remember confidence is not about having it all together. It’s about believing in your ability to learn, grow, and handle whatever comes your way. Keep going Boo, and you’ll be amazed at the new heights you’ll reach!

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

The Power of Positive Thinking

Hey Boo!

Have you ever wonder how super-successful people become super- successful? Is it privilege, or luck? Or, is it possible that the world’s greatest achievers think completely differently from the majority?

Do you think the Wright brothers could ever have achieved what they did if they hadn’t believed it could be done? What about Simone Biles or Sha’Carri Richardson? How different would their stories be had they let negative words or thoughts decide their fate?

Success in any aspect of life (financial, professional, romantic, etc.) is neither achieved or maintained in a state of negativity. Think of your thoughts as seeds- you can’t grow a positive outcome from negative thoughts.

I myself have been in the company of negative thinkers and let me tell you that their influence if allowed to go unchecked is very powerful and destructive. Look at what happens if you place a piece of rotting fruit in a bowl of fresh fruit. All of the surrounding fruit begins to rot as well. This is why it is paramount that if you want to be successful in life, you must surround yourself with positive thinking individuals and to share your positive thoughts and attitudes with likeminded people.

It is also equally important that you write your goals down and place them in a position where you can see and read them on a daily basis.

In the late 1950’s, 1500 students at Yale University were sent a questionnaire covering various parts of the college experience. Here are the last two questions:

1) Do you have an ambition in your life?

2) Have you written it down?

Twenty-five years later, a postgraduate decided to carry out further research on the last two questions. Here are the results of his findings.

Over 75% of the students who completed the questionnaire had ambitions for their lives.

Only 3.3% had actually written their ambitions down.

After tracking down as many of the 3.3% (51 students) as he could, he found that all of them had gone on to realize their dreams – in commerce, in government and in the professions.

Of the others he had managed to contact, (the ones who didn’t write their ambitions down) they told him that most of what they had achieved had happened more by chance than design. They had ended up in careers they hadn’t planned for because they didn’t define what it was they were actually seeking to do. Is it safe to say that by writing your goals down you are actively programming or reprogramming your brain to change the way you subconsciously perceive?

Not having been party to the experiment which was carried out at YALE, I can neither confirm or deny it. But I do believe in the strength of being intentional and the power of positive thinking.

Until next time, beautiful souls keep glowing…

4 Simple Tips to Improve your Communication Skills

If you struggle with breaking the ice, read this:

Hey Boo!

Have you ever been to a function in a room full of strangers and found yourself at a loss for words?

The art of introducing yourself to others and creating small talk may come natural for some, but most people confess to feeling shy, embarrassed and don’t know where to start. I’m definitely the latter. I’ve always been introverted and struggled with social anxiety that made it difficult to initiate conversation with others. The best way to begin communicating with a person you know little about is to use levels of communication.

There are four levels of communication: Small talk, fact disclosure, share viewpoints and opinions, and share personal opinions.

Small Talk

In new relationships or acquaintances the safest place to start is to talk about surface issues. For instance, make a comment about the weather, current events or the surroundings you are in.

This is called “small talk” and is used to “size up” the other person to determine the comfort zone between the two of you. There is no need to disclose any personal information with the other person at this stage, as this initial interaction assists you to determine how “safe” they are on your first meeting.

If you are comfortable with each other at a surface level you can easily slip into the next level of communication: fact disclosure.

Fact Disclosure

Fact disclosure is slightly deeper than small talk in that you disclose facts about yourself without triggering topics of emotional interest.

The purpose of fact disclosure is to find out if you have something in common. You can use these common areas to build a friendship. You may want to talk about your career, occupation, hobbies, or where you live.

Avoid topics like marriage, divorce, politics, sex and religion in this second level of communication. If you find a topic of mutual interest you may want to progress to the next level of communication: sharing viewpoints and opinions.

-Share Viewpoints and Opinions

Once you have established that the other person is “safe” through small talk, and have found areas of common interest, you can build rapport by sharing your opinions and viewpoints.

By sharing your viewpoints and opinions you allow yourself to become vulnerable to the scrutiny and objections of the other person. Remember that although there is a risk, there could be an even greater reward: a meaningful connection. Enter this level of communication once you are comfortable that you both share positive feelings through the first two levels.

Be prepared to listen to the opinions of your new friend. This will enable your friendship to survive and thrive.

Make sure you don’t use your opinions as a form of “character assassination” of other people. You may be thought of as a negative person and this may cause your new friend to distance himself/herself from you. Once you’ve established positive results on this level of communication you may move to the fourth level of communication.

The fourth level of communication is sharing personal feelings. Solid friendships over time usually enter this fourth level of communication.

Share Personal Feelings

After building upon trust, finding things in common and listening to the viewpoints and opinions of others, you may be able to share your personal feelings. This is when an acquaintance becomes a genuine friend.

Things of deep value to you can be shared without feeling threatened. You listen closely to each other without the need to “solve” your friend’s problem. You are happy to reflect their feelings back to them – forming a bond of empathy and compassion between the two of you.

At this level of communication, it is important that you provide space and autonomy between yourself and your friend. If the distinction between yourself and your friend becomes unrecognizable, it is possible that your relationship will go sour. If you know how to handle your own feelings, attitudes and behaviors while maintaining your friendship at this level, you will build a successful friendship that can last a lifetime.

Always remember that there will be some people that you do not establish a friendship with, even following the four levels of communication- and that’s okay. The truth of the matter is that not everyone will be your friend. Do not take this as rejection or you not being loveable. This is simply a matter of preference, and each person is allowed to choose the energy they want to be around. Keep connecting and shining your light!

That’s all for this week beautiful soul. Until Next Time, Keep Glowing…

Do you have a Worthiness Wound?

What a Worthiness Wound is and How to Heal it.

Hey Boo!

As some of you may know, I’ve been doing a Heal Your Worthiness Wounds Challenge on my social medial platforms. Well, as the challenge went on, I received a question from a follower that wasn’t quite sure if he had a worthiness wound or not. I thought that this could be someone else’s experience as well, so I put together a blog so that we can talk about what a worthiness wound is and how to recognize it if you have one.

A worthiness wound is a deep-seated belief that a person is inadequate, less than, or undeserving. These wounds can form during childhood or as a result of a traumatic relationship. Worthiness wounds can hinder your personal growth and lead to self-sabotage, so it’s very important that these wounds are identified so that you can heal and flourish in life.

Here is how worthiness wounds appear in your everyday life and hold you back from becoming your best self and having a pretty awesome life. Do any of these apply to you?

You doubt yourself and your abilities

You are afraid to take risks

You are afraid of failure

You are afraid of success

You feel unworthy of love and happiness

You feel like you have to do everything perfectly

You feel like you are not good enough

You put others needs before your own

You compare yourself to others and feel like you come up short

You give up easily

Did you see yourself in any of these examples? Do you have a worthiness wound?

Worthiness Wounds and Self-Sabotage

If worthiness wounds aren’t addressed, they lead to all kinds of self-sabotaging behavior. Here are some examples:

Staying at a job you hate because you don’t think you can find another one.

Staying in an unhealthy relationship because you don’t feel worthy of love and respect.

Tolerating bad treatment from others because you don’t feel worthy enough to set boundaries.

Not pursuing your dreams because you don’t feel adequate to achieve them.

Constantly comparing yourself to others and not feeling good enough.

Allowing others to take advantage of you because you don’t feel like you deserve better.

Having a hard time accepting compliments because you don’t believe that you deserve them.

Finding it difficult to ask for help because you believe that you should be able to do everything on your own.

Constantly putting yourself down and focusing on your flaws instead of your strengths.

Are you experiencing any of these things? Can you think of any other examples of self-sabotage that have come up in your life after reading this?

If after reading this you feel that you have a worthiness wound, you can find the Heal Your Worthiness Wounds challenge journaling prompts that I’ve shared on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. Happy healing Boo!

Until next time beautiful soul, keep glowing…

4 Simple Steps to Conquer Self Esteem

Hey Boo!

Since we’ve been talking about worthiness lately, I thought it would be fitting to blog about self-esteem. Self-esteem plays a vital role in your sense of worthiness, and if you’re wounded in that area it can be quite a fight to recover from it. But you can win the battle over low self esteem with these 4 simple steps…

Affirmations

Affirmations are simply positive things that you say out loud to yourself every day. This can be very difficult at times because you may not actually believe what you are saying. SO why would you say something to yourself that you don’t believe?

Increased self esteem has to start with you. So, if you are shy and intimidated by people, start to say something like the following: I am self assured and charismatic. I am confident while speaking with others.

Repeat this to yourself out loud at least 10 times before you leave your room. When you say this, don’t just mumble it either, say it as many times as necessary until you say it with passion and conviction.

Read to grow

Again, increased self esteem starts with you. Read something everyday for at least 15 minutes that will help you increase your self esteem. This can be an article, a book, or even an audio series. The more you learn the more you will grow. The more you grow, the more your self esteem will improve.

Take action everyday

Do something every day, starting with something small, that directly deals with your low self esteem. For instance, if you can’t talk with people because you feel insecure and inferior, just start off by saying ‘Hi’. As you get more comfortable with this, then start to make small talk. You will begin to feel more confident and more confident until one day, you will find that you have overcome low self-esteem in that area.

Stop the negative thoughts

Negative thoughts are like landmines. As soon as you step out to face your fear, a negative thought comes and tells you that you can’t do it and BOOM; you believe it and lose that round. Instead, diffuse negative thoughts before they have a chance to do damage.

A great way to do this is with a rubber band! Put a rubber band around your wrist. Every time a thought comes into your head that tells you that you can’t, you will never succeed, you are a loser, or anything negative, SNAP the rubber band on your wrist.

You may be snapping that band until your wrist is red and sore. Before long though, you will stop the negative thoughts because you don’t want to hurt your wrist anymore.

These four steps will help you increase your self esteem and become the person you really want to be. Just remember this: you are not going to change over night. It will take time but as long as you are progressing, you are winning the war.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Shifting Negatives Into Positives

Hey Boo!

If you want to move your life ahead, you should replace the negatives in your life with positives. This article will show you how to take the negative influences in your life away and replace them with positives, so you will have increases in morale, and productivity. Focus on the positive for success and peak performance.

Most of us are not aware of the amount of negative influences in our lives. We are bombarded with negative messages from the media, the people around us, and most damaging of all, ourselves.

The first step in the process in replacing negatives with positives in your life is to make a decision to start looking for the negative messages and ways to replace them with positives. Decide that you will focus on the positive in this world.

Begin to drastically cut down on the amount of news you take in. Most people start their day with the news. And of course most of the news is bad news, fires, floods, etc. Then it is on to traffic and weather, which also stresses the negatives. So, by the time you have finished your coffee, you have had enough bad news to last a week. Does all this bad news make you want to throw open the door and happily charge into the bright, new day? Quite the opposite, right? And how about the way we end the day? Many of us watch the news before going to bed and get a big dose of negative information just before trying to go to sleep. Is it any wonder so many people have trouble sleeping? The mood we are in before we go to sleep carries over to the next morning, so you are setting yourself up for starting the next day in a bad mood. Odds are you don’t need all that negative information you are taking in from the news, and you will function just fine without it.

Replace the news you were taking in with such things as motivational tapes, uplifting music and sites that stress good news. Also reading empowering books helps a great deal. Books can be a fantastic way to recharge your life. Look for success stories, biographies of successful people, etc and see what works for you. You will begin to feel better immediately.

Your next step is to limit the amount of TV you watch. A recent study showed that 78% of the people watching TV are not interested in the program they are watching at any given time. So, watching TV is probably making you bored at best, and taking you away from activities that would be more fun. Prime time is the period when most people are watching TV; you can make it your prime time by turning off the TV and using that time to move your life ahead.

Next you need to limit your exposure to negative people. Most people don’t realize how draining it is to be around negative people, but they drain your energy and spirit in many ways. Negative people pull you down, so work to remove them from your life to the extent you can. Never get involved in the office pity party, or complaint sessions that come your way. Seek out people that support you and that you feel good being around and use these people to replace the negative people in your life.

The most damaging source of negativity is ourselves. Most of us generate lots of negative self talk that our minds accept as the truth and results in our being held back in many ways. We focus on our shortcomings, our problems, and spend our time predicting more bad news for ourselves, generating lots of fear and worry, while undercutting our ability to try new things, etc. Begin to focus on the positive aspects of you. What are your unique strengths, what have you accomplished, how are you different from other people? Use visualization and affirmations to build images of yourself accomplishing the things you want and use these to replace the negative images. Give yourself lots of credit for everything you do right, so you are getting even more positive news about yourself. Also, set aside three minutes every day to think about all the good things you have in your life right now. The process of thinking of the good things in your life, will generate good feelings for you that will last much of the day.

Don’t forget to take care of your body. Eat foods that fuel your body for the day ahead, (Im’ still working on that myself) cut out some bad habits and get regular exercise in order to boost your self-esteem while building your strength and endurance, so you can accomplish more.

Helping others will also help you feel better about yourself. Take time to get involved in a charity, animal shelter, or other activities that help others. You will get good feedback and positive energy from others and develop a genuine sense of pride and accomplishment. Remember that what you put out comes back to you, so make sure it is good that goes out.

By replacing the negatives in your life with positives, you will make yourself and probably the world a better place. You will feel better mentally and physically, plus accomplish many of the things you want to. Nothing is ever accomplished without action, so start now to move your life ahead.

Until next time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

How to Develop a Motivated Mindset

Having trouble finding the silver lining? This might help.

Hey Boo!

From time to time, we find ourselves in a rut. We seem to lose our zest for life and feel tired, irritable and unmotivated. We want to hide under the covers rather than face the day. Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed by work and adulting or just bored with the routine of your daily life.

You are not alone love. We all go through periods like this at some point. The good news is that we can do something about it. Here are some tips to help break out of the rut and feel excited about life again:

Take a “Time Out” – Prolonged stress can wear us down and zap any enthusiasm we once had. Before doing anything else, take a few minutes to breathe and just BE. Empty your mind of all stress and worry. This takes practice, but don’t give up! As thoughts come into your mind, gently push them back out and continue to keep your mind empty and calm. Take slow, deep breaths and let all of your muscles relax. Sit quietly and recharge your batteries. Try to do this daily, or even twice daily (morning and night). We need quiet time as much as we need anything else in life. Give yourself the gift of inner peace.

Get Inspired – Read something motivational, inspirational or uplifting. Look at some beautiful nature photos or read something you find funny. Consciously move your thoughts to a more positive place. Focusing on nothing but work and our daily tasks in life can leave us feeling pretty uninspired. It’s easy to turn it around if we want to. We just have to seek out things that will lift our spirits and our moods. Make it a point to laugh, be happy, joyful and lighthearted each day. Don’t wait for inspiration to come knocking on your door, go out and find it, or create it. Conjure up some funny or touching memories. Write them in a journal so you can go back and read them when you’re feeling down.

Get Excited – Think about the things you have planned for the day and rekindle the enthusiasm you once felt for them. When we first begin a new project, or start a new job, we are excited about the possibilities and eager to get moving! Over time, we can lose that enthusiasm for a variety of reasons. Travel back in time for a moment and think about what got you so excited at the beginning. What made your heartbeat a little faster? Recapture that feeling and hang onto it! Even if your tasks aren’t anything to be really excited about, at least think of some positive benefits to doing them. For example, list the ways they will benefit your children, your spouse, yourself, your job or your home. Identify the reward and focus on that. Even mundane tasks have some benefits. Sometimes it’s just a matter of switching our mindset to see the positive side.

Baby Steps – Sometimes the hardest part is actually getting started. A project seems so monstrous that we cringe at the thought of all that time and energy we’ll have to expend. Instead of overwhelming yourself, start small. Set a timer for 15 minutes and just start working on it. Allow yourself to stop after 15 minutes if you really want to. But most often, once we actually start working on something, we won’t want to stop. Don’t focus on the big picture, look at the smaller details and take them on one at a time. Any large task seems manageable once we break it down into smaller steps.

Care of the Body – Sometimes our feelings of fatigue are caused by physical deficiencies, not mental. Be sure you are getting enough rest, eating food that nourishes your body, drinking enough water, getting enough exercise, etc. Especially when we’re very busy, we tend to grab the quickest, easiest meals, which aren’t always the best choice for our bodies. Eating a lot of highly processed foods and sugar is like putting watered-down gasoline into our cars. In order for our cars to run smoothly, we need to maintain them properly, and so it is with our bodies also. Remember, the body is the vehicle for the mind and soul!

Finally, remember to reward yourself from time to time, and be gentle with yourself! There will always be things that “need” to be done. But some of us take on way more than we can handle, and our lives turn into a pit of drudgery because of it. Try to eliminate the things that truly don’t bring you joy, or at least minimize the time you spend on them. Do what you can, and let the rest go. Or ask for help. Don’t feel you have to do everything yourself.

Remember that motivation, just like happiness, is something we CHOOSE. We may need to give ourselves a little push at the beginning, but once we get into the right mindset, it’s simple to stay there if we so desire.

Until Next time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

How to Master the Art of Gratitude to Achieve Success.

Hey Boo!

Gratitude.

I’m sure you have heard this word a million times before and you know that it simply means a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Gratitude may seem like an abstract or pointless concept to some, but the act of showing gratitude is actually rather simple and effective to implement. Knowing the power and potential of showing gratitude and subsequently applying it accordingly can be the single most decisive factor in ensuring better degrees of success for yourself.

Let’s dwell a little on exactly what gratitude can do for you and subsequently your success. Gratitude instills a positive feeling in you and the people you show it to. It alters your perspective of negative feelings, thoughts, or beliefs you may have of yourself or others by alerting these feelings, thoughts and beliefs to the things you are grateful for. Gratitude raises your awareness and focus and it can inspire you to achieve better for yourself and the people around you.

Although there are numerous other benefits to showing authentic gratitude, there are many people who neglect to shower themselves or the people around them with it. Instead, they put themselves and others down through criticism and condemnation.

Quick Gratitude Check

Answer the questions below to boost your level of gratitude:

Are there obstacles that are holding you back from showing gratitude to yourself and to others? If so, write them down.

How can you overcome these obstacles?

How actions can you take to unleash an onslaught of gratitude to yourself and to others?

The ‘obstacles’ mentioned above are typically negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs that you may possess that are not only hindering you from showing gratitude but they are likely also hindering you from success.

I use a process to overcome negative thoughts and feelings that I’ll refer to as Question, Debunk, Reaffirm. (I don’t know if it has an official name and I’m not trying to take credit for creating it. I may have read it in a CBT workbook. But it works!) First, I question the validity of the negative thought. Then I debunk the myth or limiting belief responsible for that thought. Next, I reaffirm with a positive new belief to replace the negative one. Questioning the validity (and significance) of your negative thoughts and feelings instead of giving way to them often cause us to realize that we may have been getting all worked up for nothing. Overcoming mental obstacles is a very important topic, however, the chief aim of this blog is to show you the importance of showing gratitude and how you can go about doing it. As such, I will not touch in depth about how to overcome these negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs. But if you would like to find out more, please reach out to me directly. Follow Glow with Mimi on Facebook or join the Resilient Brave Beings private Facebook group.

Now that you are clearer about the benefits of gratitude, let’s first talk about how you can start showing gratitude to yourself. To start doing this, you must first be appreciative of all your achievements – big or small – that you have experienced so far in your life. Ask yourself: when was the last time you actually rewarded yourself for those achievements? If you have constantly been doing so, then good for you and keep it up. If not, then it’s about time you start indulging or pampering yourself with some simple or extravagant (whichever is appropriate) rewards for all your past achievements and future ones.

Next be appreciative of the things you have – your job, home, wealth, health, family, food and surroundings. I know it can be rather impossible to directly show gratitude to these things but no worries. You can list these things in a notebook or journal, and maybe even write down thank you notes for item to express your gratitude. Keep referring to this list when you’re feeling sad or depressed and you can instantly feel a surge of happiness or positive emotions.

So… we’ve covered how you can show gratitude to yourself and the things around you. Now I will touch on how you can show gratitude to the people around you. There are many ways you can express your gratitude to the people around you but I will only list the few I feel are important and simple to perform. Feel free to add your own and implement them as you see fit.

Instead of putting down, insulting and complaining about the people around or working under you, try complementing, praising and appreciating them for all they have done for your well-being and your achievements. By doing this, you gain their respect and trust and they are more likely to continually assist you to achieve better.

Make a thank you list of all the people you are grateful for and constantly refer to this list to give yourself a better and greater feeling.

Give a simple verbal thank you, note of appreciation or even a thank you e-mail to express your gratitude to the people who have assisted you in achievements.

Shower the people you are grateful for with small or big cards, gifts, presents or rewards to clearly show them how much you appreciate them.

Or simply provide the people around you with gifts that cannot be bought with cash like your valuable time, your sacrifice or something that is of utmost importance to you.

Gratitude. Always bear in mind that when you show gratitude to yourself, the things and the people around you, you will definitely hold the key to unlocking your personal growth and ultimately your success.

That’s all I have for you until next Thursday. In the meantime, be authentic, be grateful, and always- keep Glowing…

10 New Beliefs to Empower Your Life

Hello Beautiful Souls!

What we believe about ourselves and the world greatly affects how happy- or unhappy- we are in life. If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, it is highly likely that you have some limiting or toxic beliefs preventing you from being the person you were meant to be. Below is the list of the ten toxic beliefs that make women more susceptible to mistreatment, and the new empowering beliefs that you should learn in order to establish boundaries and live authentically.

Toxic Belief #1 Other people’s feelings and needs are more important than my own.

New Empowering Belief #1: My needs and feelings are just as important as anyone else’s.

Toxic Belief #2 The best way to ensure that I am safe from harm is to be nice to people.

New Empowering Belief #2: I am kind by choice because I can protect myself from harm.

Toxic Belief #3: What other people think of me is of paramount importance.

New Empowering Belief #3: My perception of myself is much more important than anyone’s opinion of me.

Toxic Belief #4: I need to be perfect in order to be loved and accepted.

New Empowering Belief #4: I am amazing and worthy of love just as I am.

Toxic Belief #5: I don’t have a right to stand up for myself.

New Empowering Belief #5: I have a right to defend myself and to do what’s best for me.

Toxic Belief #6: Others are responsible for my wellbeing.

I am a capable woman and my wellbeing is my responsibility.

Toxic Belief #7: Anger is a destructive emotion and shouldn’t be expressed.

New Empowering Belief #7: Anger is a healthy emotion and can be used for constructive change.

Toxic Belief #8: Conflict is to be avoided at all costs.

New Empowering Belief #8: Conflict is a part of life and can be an opportunity for greater intimacy.

Toxic Belief #9: There is good in everyone, and people deserve multiple chances to prove it.

New Empowering Belief #9: I prioritize my boundaries over giving second chances.

Toxic Belief #10: Women need men to protect them and to support them financially.

New Empowering Belief #10: I am more than capable of protecting and providing for myself.

These toxic beliefs have put many women in harmful situations, some of which had fatal endings. It is very important to unlearn toxic or limiting beliefs, reclaim your power and take responsibility for your wellbeing so that you’re not just surviving, but living life on your own terms. Thriving and glowing from the inside, out.

There will be another Toxic Beliefs and People Pleasing Workshop later on this year, I’m not quite sure when yet so keep your eyes open for that. Also, the tickets for the From Grieving to Glowing workshop are available on Eventbrite. We will be discussing the effects of narcissistic abuse and some techniques to combat those effects so mark your calendars and I’ll see you on February 24, 2024!

Well Boo, that’s all I have for you this week. Remember that you are unique, divine, and capable of great things.