You’re Not Broken. You’re in Survival Mode.

Hey Boo!

I just want you to know-

You’re not dramatic. You’re not “too much.” You’re not overreacting.

You’re in survival mode. And survival mode is hectic and loud.

It scans for danger, anticipates rejection, and prepares for disappointment before it happens. Survival mode can cause you to replay conversations over and over in your head and read between lines that may not even exist.

But it’s not because you’re messed up or broken. It’s because you experienced a shock to your nervous system and you’ve had to adapt. At some point in your life, being hyper-aware kept you safe. Overthinking protected you from danger and potential threats. Bracing for impact softened the blow and expecting less kept you from being disappointed when the person inevitably failed you. Your past experiences sent this message to your nervous system: “If I stay prepared, I stay protected.”

That makes complete sense- creating a survival strategy to be okay and minimize the risk of further danger. But the important thing to remember about survival strategies is that they don’t automatically turn off once the danger is gone. Your body doesn’t always know that you’re safe now, your mind doesn’t realize you’re no longer in that same toxic environment, and so it runs those old programs in new situations.

Running Old Programs in New Situations May Look Like:

Questioning Your Worth

Feeling Guilty For Resting

Feeling Like You Aren’t Doing Enough

Putting Too Much Pressure on Yourself

Wondering Why You Weren’t Chosen

Bracing in Relationships That Haven’t Actually Harmed You

It feels real because your body believes it is. But survival mode and present reality are not always the same thing.

And this is where self-trust begins. Don’t shame yourself for overthinking, there’s no need to force or feign positivity, and you don’t have to pretend not to be triggered when you are.

Just pause and gently ask yourself:

“Is this current, or is this familiar?”

Familiar feels urgent and is rooted in anxiety. Current is grounded in fact.

When you begin to notice the difference, you stop fighting yourself. You stop labeling yourself as ‘too sensitive’ or ‘too much’. You begin trusting your intuition and yourself and you realize that you’re not broken. You’re healing and coming back together just fine. You just needed to rebuild your self-trust.

Self-trust is built in small increments.

When you choose not to spiral or “crash out”

When you regulate instead of react

When you allow calm without searching for what’s wrong

When you rest without guilt

-And no, it’s not laziness. It’s nervous system healing.

The goal isn’t to become someone who never feels fear. The goal is to become someone who can feel fear and still choose from a place of clarity. From steadiness. From self-trust.

You don’t need to fix yourself. You need safety.

And safety begins inside.

Celebrate!

Hello beautiful souls 💖

During this time of year and this point in my life I find it to be of vital importance to celebrate.

I didn’t allow myself to celebrate much before. I felt that I hadn’t accomplished anything worth celebrating- except for create my daughter- and I didn’t do even do that on my own.

I realized that my way of thinking in the past was not only negative, but it was ungrateful. Self evaluation proved that I had been choosing to see my life and experiences as some sort of punishment or rejection by “God”. I felt like I was being picked on; bullied. My perspective was completely damaging. I was grading myself based on outside expectations and popular clichés and comparing myself to my peers.

Over the years, I have learned and evolved much. I have looked into my past and separated the pain from the lessons. I have begun to truly know, love, and appreciate myself. I find that life is much more simple and enjoyable when I stop overthinking or worrying and just live.

Live and Celebrate.

Celebrate!

I celebrate each day that I am given. I celebrate my gifts and talents, my empathy and kindness, my body, my experiences, my wisdom, my sensuality, my intelligence, my uniqueness…

I celebrate me.

And you should celebrate yourself as well.

Let’s Celebrate!

Until next time beautiful souls ✨ 💖

Stop Overthinking!

Hello beautiful souls!

I had an uncomfortable conversation with someone that I care about and it led me to the topic of this blog.

He pointed out that I am an “overthinker” and went on to say that having a conversation with me is hard sometimes because I put too much thought into my responses…

And it hurt.

Initially, I got upset. I was offended. Wow. I thought to myself. Did he just say that talking to me is hard? I could’ve responded that if talking to me was so difficult, then he could simply stop talking to me. But that would’ve been an egotistical response said out of negative emotions that I was feeling. I didn’t want that.

Instead, I took some time after the call to process and evaluate what was said. And there are still aspects of the conversation that do not resonate with me (I discarded those) but I found what he said to be true.

I do tend to overthink. I knew that before he said it. But what I didn’t understand was; why?

And now I know.

Overthinking is the byproduct of fear and self doubt. I had made decisions and said things in the past that led to such painful experiences, that I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust myself to say what I wanted to say exactly as I wanted to say it, I didn’t trust myself to do and be what I wanted to do and be because I had never done it before.

There was always someone or something holding me back.

I thought it was parents, Peers, teachers, the military, significant others, people on social media…

But after further review; I realized that the “someone” was me. And while it’s true that people didn’t respond well to things that I did and said, I had to come to grips with the fact that I am not responsible for another person’s reaction. Their truth and my truth may not be the same.

In addition to that, some of the past decisions I made that didn’t fare well were made from the ego and misinformation.

Overthinking only leads to procrastination, discomfort, anxiety, fear, complacency, and a myriad of other negative emotions and setbacks. Overthinking keeps us from living our best lives and being our most elevated selves. It prevents action and promotes mediocrity. Some people overthink to prevent making a decision not realizing that overthinking is a decision. It’s just not a favorable one.

Currently when faced with a decision; I consider these things: 1. I make sure that I am aligned with my inner wisdom. 2. I do not prioritize the opinions/reactions of others over my own.

Now that I am considering those two things with every decision, I can move forward in confidence.

This change is quite necessary in order for me to fulfill my calling and destiny in life. I cannot help or inspire others if I overthink and constantly live in my head.

And the change may not happen overnight. But I am putting this knowledge to work and developing a new practice.

So, the next time you’re faced with a decision and it’s time to take action, take a moment to think, but don’t let yourself be consumed by overthinking.

Do not let fear overtake you.

Everything is going to be okay.

From one recovering overthinker to another: trust yourself.

Until next time beautiful souls… 💜💫💜