Cultivating Positivity and Resilience in Challenging Times: How to Reset Your Mindset

Having trouble shaking those negative thoughts? This week was rough for me too.

Negativity is a powerful force. It creeps into our thoughts, colors our perceptions, and sometimes takes root, casting a shadow over even the brightest moments. We all experience periods when negative thinking becomes overwhelming—when setbacks, stress, or disappointments seem to pile up, making it difficult to see the good around us. But the human mind is remarkably adaptable. With intention, practice, and a bit of self-compassion, anyone can reset their mindset and reclaim their sense of hope and possibility.

This blog will walk you through practical strategies to break free from negativity, offering both immediate tools and long-term habits to nurture a more positive, resilient outlook.

Understanding the Power of Mindset

Our mindset is the lens through which we view the world and ourselves. When negativity takes hold, this lens distorts our reality, causing us to focus on what’s wrong rather than what’s possible. Recognizing that you have the power to shift this lens is the first step towards change.

It’s important to remember that resetting your mindset isn’t about ignoring difficulties or pretending everything is perfect. Rather, it’s about equipping yourself with tools to respond to life’s challenges with greater balance, clarity, and optimism.

Step 1: Awareness—Recognize Negative Thought Patterns

The journey to a more positive mindset begins with awareness. Often, negative thinking becomes habitual, running in the background of our minds. Start by tuning in:

Notice Your Self-Talk: Pay attention to the inner dialogue you have throughout the day. Are you criticizing yourself, expecting the worst, or focusing on failures?
Identify Triggers: Reflect on moments when negativity spikes. Is it in response to certain people, situations, or times of day?
Label Your Thoughts: When you detect negative thinking, gently label it. For example: “That’s a self-critical thought” or “That’s a catastrophic prediction.”

Awareness doesn’t mean judgment. Observe these patterns with curiosity, not blame.

Step 2: Pause and Breathe

When negativity feels overwhelming, pause. Take a few deep, intentional breaths. This simple act does more than calm your body—it creates a moment of space between you and your thoughts, offering a chance to respond rather than react.

Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four.
Hold for four counts.
Exhale gently through your mouth for a count of four.

Repeat this cycle several times. Notice how your body relaxes and your mind quiets, even if just slightly.

Step 3: Challenge and Reframe Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts often go unchallenged in our minds, gaining strength by repetition. To break their hold, question their accuracy:

Ask Yourself: “Is this thought absolutely true?”
Seek Evidence: What facts support or contradict this thought?
Consider Alternatives: What might you say to a friend in a similar situation?

Once you’ve examined your thoughts, try reframing them:

Instead of “I always mess up,” try “I’ve made mistakes, but I’m learning and improving.”
Swap “Nothing ever works out” for “There have been setbacks, but there have also been successes.”

Reframing isn’t about blind positivity; it’s about approaching challenges with honesty and hope.

Step 4: Practice Gratitude, Even in Small Doses

Gratitude is a powerful antidote to negativity. It shifts your attention from what’s lacking to what’s present and good, even if those things seem small:

Begin a daily gratitude journal. Write down three things you’re grateful for each day, no matter how minor.
Share your appreciation with others—thank someone, acknowledge a kind gesture, or savor a pleasant moment.

Over time, gratitude retrains your mind to seek the positive, creating a buffer against future negativity.

Step 5: Engage in Activities That Uplift

When negativity feels all-consuming, positive action can disrupt the cycle:

Move Your Body: Physical activity—walking, stretching, dancing—releases endorphins and lightens your mood.
Connect with Supportive People: Reach out to friends, family, or supportive communities. Sometimes, sharing your thoughts can provide perspective and relief.
Do Something Creative: Draw, write, play music, cook—engage in activities that immerse you in the present.
Spend Time in Nature: Even a short walk outdoors can restore calm and clarity.

Step 6: Set Boundaries With Negativity

You can’t always control what happens, but you can choose what you focus on and how much energy you give to negative influences. Set boundaries:

Limit exposure to negative news and social media.
Distance yourself from chronic complainers or toxic environments when possible.
Replace negative content with things that inspire or educate you.

Protecting your mental space is an act of self-respect.

Step 7: Cultivate Self-Compassion

We are often our harshest critics. When negativity strikes, offer yourself the same kindness you’d show to a good friend:

Speak to yourself gently, especially when you’re struggling.
Recognize that everyone experiences difficulty and negative thinking—it’s part of being human.
Forgive yourself for setbacks and celebrate small victories.

Self-compassion doesn’t eliminate challenges, but it makes them easier to face.

Step 8: Create a Mindset Reset Routine

Consistency is key to lasting change. Create daily rituals that reinforce a positive mindset:

Meditate or practice mindfulness, even for five minutes each day.
Read or listen to inspirational material.
Visualize positive outcomes or repeat affirmations that resonate with you.

Over time, these practices lay the foundation for resilience and optimism.

Step 9: Seek Professional Support When Needed

Sometimes, negativity stems from deeper emotional struggles such as anxiety, depression, or trauma. If you find it difficult to manage on your own, reach out to a mental health professional. Therapy or counseling provides tailored tools and support to help you reset your mindset and heal.

Remember

Negativity is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to define you. By practicing awareness, challenging your thoughts, nurturing yourself with gratitude and kindness, and building daily habits that uplift, you can reset your mindset—even in the darkest moments. Remember: every step you take toward positivity, no matter how small, is an act of courage and hope. Over time, these efforts can transform not only your thoughts, but your life.

Your mind is a garden—tend it with care, and watch resilience and optimism blossom, even after the storms.

Til next time Boo!

What it Really Means to Glow Up Your Mindset

Hey Boo!

If you’re like most people, when you hear “glow up” you think of outer changes like new clothes, hair, makeup, or weight loss. While those things are wonderful and can be empowering, the real glow up begins on the inside. Your mindset shapes how you see yourself, how you move through challenges, and how much light you allow yourself to shine into the world.

A mindset glow up isn’t about becoming someone new-it’s about uncovering the radiant version of you that’s been there all along.

Why Your Mindset Matters

Your mindset is the lens through which you view your life. When it’s clouded with self-doubt, limiting beliefs, or fear, everything feels heavier. But when you begin to shift toward self-belief, possibility, and trust, life feels lighter and more aligned. Suddenly,opportunities that once felt out of reach begin flowing your way.

3 Ways to Glow Up Your Mindset

Release Old Beliefs

Think of old limiting thoughts as outdated clothes- they may have served you once, but they no longer fit who you are becoming. Letting them go creates space for new, empowering beliefs to take their place.

Try this: Write down one belief that no longer serves you, then reframe it into an empowering truth. For example, the limiting belief I’m not good enough can be reframed to I am more than capable and worthy of everything I desire.

Embody Your Glowed-Up Self

Manifestation works when you align with the version of yourself who already has what you want. That means showing up with confidence, speaking kindly to yourself, and making choices as if your desires are already reality.

Ask Yourself: “What would the glowed-up version of me believe, say, or do in this moment?” And then do exactly that.

Practice Daily Glow Rituals

Consistency is key. Small daily rituals- like affirmations, journaling, or mindful breathing-keep your energy aligned with your intentions. Over time, these little practices compound into major shifts in mindset and manifestation.

You can start the mindset shift by saying an affirmation every morning while taking a deep breath. It could be something simple like: “I radiate confidence, love, and abundance.”

The Glow-Up Isn’t About Perfection

Remember: a mindset glow-up doesn’t happen overnight, and it isn’t about being perfect. It’s about progress. It’s about catching yourself in moments of self-doubt and choosing to redirect yourself toward self-belief. It’s about celebrating small wins, trusting the process, and glowing brighter each day.

Never forget- your glow isn’t something that you need to earn, it’s already within you. By upgrading your mindset and aligning your energy, you allow your inner light to shine more powerfully. That’s the kind of glow that no one can take away.

Til next time Boo

P.S. Keep Glowing…

The Lies We Believe: 5 Limiting Beliefs That Keep You Stuck (And How to Rewrite Them)

Hey Boo!

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough” or “I could never do that” -and believed it? You’re not alone by any means.

We all carry beliefs that once helped us survive- but over time, they can quietly turn into walls that keep us small. Sometimes, we’re not even aware we’re holding them.

For me, one of the biggest ones was this:

“I have to overwork myself to prove my worth.”

There was a time I believed that rest had to be earned. That if I wasn’t constantly doing, achieving, or helping someone else, that I wasn’t valuable. That belief followed me for years. It shaped how I showed up- exhausted, resentful, and always reaching.

Until one day, I asked myself:

Who told me that? And why am I still listening?

That was the beginning of my unlearning. And now, I want to help you begin yours.

Let’s talk about 5 limiting beliefs that might be holding you back- and how to start rewriting them, one truth at a time.

Limiting Belief 1. “I’m not enough.”

This is one of the most deeply rooted beliefs- often born from past trauma, comparison, or constantly being told we had to be more, do more, or look a certain way to matter. Try this truth instead: “I am growing, healing, and worthy- exactly as I am.”

You don’t need to earn your worth. You were always enough. Now it’s just about remembering that.

Limiting Belief 2. I don’t deserve good things.

Whether it came from guilt, shame, or someone convincing you that you had to suffer to be strong, this belief can block you from receiving joy, love, and abundance. Try this truth instead: “I deserve peace, pleasure, and goodness- simply because I exist.”

You’re not here to prove anything. You’re here to experience life fully.

Limiting Belief 3. “If I fail, it means I’m not cut out for this.”

This one sneaks in when we tie our worth to our performance or fear judgment. But failure doesn’t mean you’re not meant for it- it just means you’re in it and you’re figuring your way out. Try this truth instead: “Failure is feedback- not a final verdict.”

Every step is a lesson. Keep going.

Limiting Belief 4. “I need permission to follow my dreams.”

Sometimes we wait for someone else to believe in us before we believe in ourselves. But your dreams don’t need outside approval- just your yes. Try this truth instead: “I am my own permission slip.”

You can take the leap. You always could.

Limiting Belief 5. “It’s too late for me.”

This one stings. But here’s the truth: the past is irrelevant, as it no longer exists. What matters is now. And life isn’t on a schedule. Your timing is divine, not delayed. Try this truth instead: “I’m right on time for the life I’m meant to live.”

Start where you are. The next chapter is waiting.

Ready to Rewire? Start Here:

Limiting beliefs lose their power when you name them, challenge them, and replace them. If you’re ready to begin rewiring, let’s start with this prompt:

What limiting belief am I ready to let go of, and what truth will I choose instead?

You don’t have to believe the lies your pain told you.

You get to choose again.

Until next time Boo, keep Glowing…

Silence Your Negative Thoughts

Hey Boo!

Have you ever received a negative comment or had an intrusive thought that sent you on a downward spiral? Well, today I will be sharing my two step process to silence negative thoughts.

Step 1: Question It

The very first thing to do when you have a negative thought or receive a negative comment is question it. Ask yourself, “Is this statement true?” If it was a comment, don’t focus on who said it, how they said it, or why they said it. This will only create a cascade of negative thoughts to help accelerate your downward spiral. Take only the words and do an honest self-evaluation.

If you find the statement to be true, Step 1A is to take accountability for it. The comment or thought is a direct result of your behavior. For example: “That person called me a thief because I stole their car.” As you reflect and take accountability, look for the lesson that can be learned. This is a moment of character development. Take this opportunity to acknowledge where you need to grow and move forward a more improved individual.

After step 1: Question It and step 1a: Take Accountability come step 2: Counter-Attack. The counter attack is necessary so that you don’t ruminate on the negative comment or the mistake you made. Simply put, your counter-attack is to leave the past behind you. Remember that self-reflection and accountability disempower guilt and shame. Once you make a decision to learn and take corrective action, the negative comment or thought is no longer valid because your reality is now different.

But what if you reflected on the comment and it isn’t true or valid at all?

You still use a counterattack to distinguish the negative thought or comment, but your approach is slightly different. The counterattack for a limiting belief or something untrue would go like something like this:

This is not true because of this. (Provide examples for yourself of when you’ve disproved the thought or comment. For example: ‘this person called me a thief, but I’ve never stolen anything in my life. Or, this person called me a thief, but I haven’t stolen anything since I was incarcerated and turned my life around.)

If you can’t think of an example, counterattack with an affirmation that states the opposite. (For example: This person called me a thief but that isn’t true. I am honest, trustworthy, or forthright.)

So Boo, the next time you receive a negative comment, have a negative intrusive thought or limiting belief remember to follow the two-step process:

Question It

1a. Take Accountability

2. CounterAttack

Remember to keep growing and glowing and don’t let the negativity defeat you! Until next time Boo.

Discover Your Purpose in 3 Steps

Hey Boo!

Do you know what your purpose is in life?Life can feel pointless and perhaps even cruel when you haven’t found that thing that gives it meaning.

Determining what our purpose is in life can be one of the hardest questions that we as humans must try to answer. In this blog we will be going through a step-by-step process, exploring your feelings and options and by the end, you should have a fairly solid tool you can immediately employ in your life, to help give it a meaningful direction!

There are three steps to the process of discovering the purpose of your life:

Understanding the principle of choice
Creating your “underlying principle”
Aligning your life with this underlying principle

Understanding The Principle of Choice

Norman Vincent Peale has this to say about the power of choice. “The greatest power we have is the power of choice. It is an actual fact, that if you have been groping under unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous, instead. And, by effort, lift yourself into joy. If you tend to be fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have courage. The whole trend and the quality of anyone’s life is determined by the choices that are made”.

“Choosing” is the most important activity of your mind, because by making a choice, you are proclaiming your desires to your subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind gets to know your desires, it is going to do anything to manifest them in your life. The choices you make in your life become your goal. And, if you are sincere in pursuing them, there is no reason why you should not accomplish them.

Indecision, on the other hand, not only creates frustration and anxiety, but can also confuses the subconscious mind about what you want. But it is important that the choices you make are made by you, in accordance with your true desires, purposes and aptitude. A lot of us let others make choices for us or make our choices according to what we think is ‘correct’, even if that means going against our own wishes. What is right for someone else may not be right for you, and the way to know this is listening to what your heart says.

So, to begin with, make a list of things which interest you; things which you have always enjoyed, which make you feel better, which inspire you to press forward, no matter what obstacles you face. Do you like doing something creative, or something artistic? Do you enjoy nature? Do you like the sea? Do you enjoy helping others? Do you get pleasure out of making a difference in other people’s lives?

Whatever it is that interests you, write it down and answer these questions:

What thing do you love to do?

What is it that you love about this thing and why?

How could you do this for money, and make a living out of it?

Creating Your Underlying Principle

The next step is to examine the list you just made and find out if there is any recurring theme. Maybe, it is contribution that keeps coming up, or a desire to seek or give love, to feed the hungry, or help the elderly cope with old age. Whatever it is, try to identify the central theme of the things you love to do, and try to put it in a short and precise statement. This will be your ‘Mission Statement’. It may even be a quote by a famous person, or a philosophy that has influenced you. Of course, as you grow up, this statement could evolve, but its soul will remain the same. Now, write down your Mission Statement.

Aligning Your LIFE With Your Underlying Principle

The final step in this journey is to map your path to your ultimate purpose and to begin implementing changes that help to align your daily life with your underlying purpose. Take a moment to brainstorm on the little things that you can do right now to cultivate the energy and environment you want to be in. By making these little changes in your lifestyle, you will be able to begin living this principle out each and every day. It might take a few days, but by becoming aware and intentional of this underlying principle of your life, you will certainly start to feel the difference in your enthusiasm for life as a whole. If you realize that you love being amidst nature, plan out vacations and outings. Maybe an outing with your children or friends can be the start as you create even more ways to get into the environment that helps you thrive most. If you discover that you enjoy helping those in need, start to look for opportunities to volunteer in your community. On the other hand, you might even want to change your job, or start a new business that is more in line with your mission.

Whatever it is that you desire to do, know that it is in you to do- or else you wouldn’t have had the idea or desire in the first place.

So, there you have it! By following along with the steps outlined above, you will be on your way to finding and living out your purpose. And, as you go through this process, just remember, “You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.” – Steve Maraboli

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

3 Keys To Boosting Your Confidence

Hey Boo!

Since I’ve been on my healing journey, I’ve reflected a lot on the importance of confidence. Often, I find myself thinking, if I was more confident, I would’ve never let that fly! Or even, if I was more confident, I would’ve taken that opportunity. If I’m being honest, my low sense of self worth and lack of confidence have been my biggest obstacles personally and professionally. In the past I shrunk in social spaces and sought to blend in rather than take up space. No doubt, I’ve stifled my coaching business with my lack of confidence as well. For the first year, I felt like a complete fraud (imposter syndrome) and would rarely even mention my coaching services or abilities.

As I continue to heal and build, I have learned that the key to success is inner confidence and I want to increase that – both for myself and my clients. So let’s build our confidence together. Not just because it feels good, but because self-confidence also translates into other areas and creates healthier relationships, resilience, better work performance, and the courage to try new things. Here’s what I know so far:

Many strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior, and practical tips exist for improving your life and self-image, but none of them are worth anything without foundation. You know deep down who you are, and that is the foundation. It would be best to have a certain level of confidence to find that and show your true self – here are the three keys to absolute inner assurance.

1. Get To Know Your Values

A person must know and understand their values to feel genuinely confident inside. As part of who you are, your values are the building blocks, the foundations, and cornerstones of who you are. Whether it be beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement, or freedom, a value you hold most dear.

What causes you to feel angry, frustrated, demotivated, or deflated when encountering some people and situations? Of course, we think negatively when one or more of our values is denied, suppressed, or repressed since it diminishes a fundamental element of our identities. But, on the other hand, do you know those times when you’ve felt alive, unique, or thrilled? Those are the times when you honored your values. You need to get to a point where you are experiencing accurate alignment, like that, consistently.

Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. However, you can have absolute confidence in them because they’re there all the time, just waiting for you to notice and use them. When you get to know your values, you can start making choices and aligning your life around them. Talking with a coach or therapist to recognize and honor your values is the first step to seeing where change needs to occur. Taking this self-inventory will help you gain confidence in yourself and who you are.

2. Exercise Your Confidence muscle

You need to exercise your confidence to ensure that it does not shrink or waste away. Consider the case of someone who doesn’t take many risks, goes through their daily routines doing what has to be done and doing it well, but not expanding their horizons very much. Because something is too scary or because it’s not who you are, or you don’t want it, you might talk yourself out of doing it. It is that kind of person who lives within the boundaries of their knowledge and comfort. Taking a more negligible risk requires them to be less confident, and they become less satisfied as a result.

No matter how big or small, take risks to flex your confidence muscle. You may benefit from stretching yourself in an unfamiliar direction, from trying something new or trying it a bit differently. You much be open to possibilities around you and push yourself to learn, grow, and become more. You will develop more confidence the more relaxed you are to risk, opportunity, and possibility.

3. Watch What You Say To Yourself

We all talk to ourselves as we think about things. We say something like, “I could never do that” or “I will never succeed.” This type of inner talk can be pretty negative and self-sabotage our goals and find joy. Creating new mantras in our heads that are more positive takes time and consistency. Like establishing any new habits, it’s essential to be mindful of what we are doing and thinking to make an overall change. Replace your old mantras with one or two new and positive ones and add more until you develop a new mindset. The mantras should be personal to what you need; however, here are a few positive mantras to implement.

I am confident.
I am grateful for everything I have in my life.
I am intelligent and focused.
Today is a phenomenal day.
I am growing
I am learning
I overcome all obstacles
I am making the correct change

Life gets easier when you genuinely feel inner confidence. Inner confidence is a gift that plays out in so many ways. And best of all? It’s something you control. This list provides a few ways to start increasing your confidence.

Learning how to act confident can help you feel more satisfied in many cases. Additionally, it’s always helpful to have someone in your corner when making significant changes. Getting a coach can significantly help you achieve your goals and create the life you have always dreamed of.

Are there any topics you’d like me to cover? Let me know in the comments!

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

How to Identify Limiting Beliefs

Hey Boo!

Have you ever made a statement like “I can’t afford that”, “I don’t have time”, or “I am not (insert limit here) enough”? Limiting beliefs are those that confine you and incorrectly define you.

Limiting beliefs are the lies or excuses we tell ourselves that ultimately prevent or delay our success. The majority of limiting beliefs are subconscious and started in childhood when rules and limits were imposed. As crucial as these rules and guidelines were for your safety or success in school, this is likely where you started developing limiting beliefs. These limiting beliefs can hold us back from living a whole life as adults. We still have rules to follow, but there are less and achievement is endless. While you do not have to adhere to the same standards and regulations as a child or young adult, that does not mean your mind has changed to know any better.

It is your responsibility to recognize and break down these limiting beliefs to accomplish all the impressive goals you have. This blog will show you how to identify your limiting beliefs and overcome them so you can achieve greater heights in life.

Identify Your Beliefs

There are a few ways to identify your limiting beliefs, and all require personal reflection. It may even be helpful to bring in a close friend or coworker to help identify your limiting beliefs through an open conversation. It can be challenging to identify limiting beliefs, but here are a couple of exercises you can do to help find them.

Make A List Of Your Own Beliefs.

Take time to write down any beliefs you hold that are important to you and influence your everyday life. Then, you can group these beliefs into different categories, like finances, family, relationships, and health. When you’ve done this, consider the ones that limit your growth and the ones that help.

Analyze Your Behavior

You can also assess your behavior to identify limiting beliefs. For example, consider situations where you have acted negatively or in unhealthy ways and why you behaved that way. Limiting beliefs may be the underlying cause of your toxic behavior if you examine it closely.

For instance, if you find it difficult to talk about money or a financial situation, you may possess the limiting belief that money or conflict is terrible, which makes having difficult but necessary conversations regarding budgeting, retirement, and general finances in life. Consequently, causing relational conflicts when money is involved, e.g., marriage and business.

It may also be an excellent time to bring in a trusted individual to help you identify your limiting beliefs during this analyzing process. For instance, watch where your inner dialog goes when someone compliments you. Is it gratitude or distrust? If it is distrust, there is most likely a limiting belief looming in the corner of your mind. Analyze that moment and see if you can figure out the limiting belief and what new, more positive belief or mantra can replace it.

Where Are You Repeatedly Challenged?

Think about times when you repeatedly struggle. Perhaps, you never have luck in romantic relationships, or you procrastinate consistently when a specific task needs to get done. These challenges may indicate a limiting belief. Whenever you write down an area of challenge, take note of which of your thoughts may be holding you back. In other words, if you’re constantly struggling to squeeze in a workout, find out what you think about health and wellness and how accessible it is for you. What is the limiting belief, the consistent excuse, or the lack of confidence preventing you from achieving this goal?

Applying Change to Break Down Barriers

To start letting go of limiting beliefs, we need to let go of certainty. As humans, we love stability, comfort, and certainty. However, certainty can also hold you back.(Think of certainty in this case as stagnancy or complacency.) It’s what prevents you from leaving unhealthy relationships, starting that business you want to have, traveling to that far away place that intrigues you, and keeps you from quitting that job you hate. Certainty can be a dream killer. Combining certainty with limited beliefs will keep you stuck in unhappiness and unfulfillment for a very long time. So let’s start with killing certainty and then change those limiting beliefs.

Once you understand that certainty needs to go, it’s time to start changing self-talk. More often than not, negative self-talk tells you why you can’t achieve your goals. Unfortunately, self-talk is constant, and we must switch out negative self-talk with positive, life-giving, empowering thoughts. Once you identify your limiting beliefs, choose a new empowering belief to replace them. Then, apply this new belief whenever you feel the only limiting belief creep up. Doing this will create a new habit of thought and slowly change your mindset and eliminate limiting beliefs over time.

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

8 Tips to Achieve Any Goal

Know exactly what you want

This may sound obvious but when asked “what do you want?” Many people struggle to clearly express their desires. Most people know that they want to be happy, but the descriptions typically don’t surpass vague visions of love or money. However, when asked about something that displeases us, we often go into vivid detail about it. That’s exactly how we should be regarding our goals. Remember the S.M.A.R.T. goals? The ‘S’ in the acronym represents specific. The more details, numbers, dates you can plan the better. You need a very clear focus of what you do want in order to receive it.

Write down your goals

This is one technique that separates the people who get things done from the people that are ‘getting around to it’. We are constantly reminded how important it is to write down our goals yet very few of us do it. According to research you are 95% more likely to achieve your goal if it is written down. So, that settles that. Let’s do it!

Believe

If you try and achieve a goal that you don’t truly believe in, your subconscious mind will not allow you to achieve it. You’ll only succeed in tearing yourself up inside. As Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe, it can achieve”. Take a moment to do some self-reflection. Do you really believe that your goal is possible to achieve? Do you feel worthy of it? Can you envision yourself achieving it? If you answered ‘No’ to any of those questions, there may be a guilt, self-doubt, or worthiness blockage that needs to be addressed. You must believe that your goal is possible for you to achieve!

Remind yourself constantly of the goal

The more you repeat it to your subconscious mind, the more it will be programmed in. There are a variety of techniques you can use including repeating affirmations or using subliminal software. If you spend a lot of time on your computer I recommend using software that flashes messages on your screen that only the subconscious can pick up.

Be passionate about your goal

You’re far more likely to achieve your goal if it excites you. Think about all the benefits to you once you have achieved your goal. Imagine how you would feel, how would your life be different.

Break it down into bite size chunks

If you have really big goals, this may be your most helpful tip. First, congratulations for taking up space and daring to go big! To go big in a way that’s sustainable, healthy and fits into your current life, you may need to break your goal down into smaller, intermediate goals. It makes it easier for you to believe it’s possible and it helps you organize yourself on a short, medium and long term. The ‘A’ in S.M.A.R.T. goals stands for achievable and there’s no use in setting goals that are unattainable.

Reward yourself along the way

Every Time you have some success make sure you reward yourself. It will help keep the desire and enthusiasm burning. It will also tell your subconscious mind you’re achieving your goals.

Stay Positive

Ultimately the only person who can stop you achieving your goals is YOU. Fear and self doubt are common enemies but are only created in your mind. You must also make sure that you are concentrating on what you do want, not what you don’t want.

Remember the only way you will fail is if you give up.

Until next time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing..

The Many Faces of Self-Sabotage

Hey Boo!

To close the subject of self-sabotage (for now, at least) I wanted to write this blog post revealing the many faces of it. If left unchecked, self-sabotage can exacerbate or cause anxiety, distorted thoughts, and awaken a harsh inner critic that hurls us into survival mode with its overthinking. It’s vital that we recognize the signs of self-sabotage so that we can adjust our behavior and redirect ourselves. Self-sabotage can show up in our lives in many ways: in our career, education, romantic partnerships, friendships and family dynamics, and even in our health. Here is the list of ways that self-sabotage can occur in each of these categories.

Self-Sabotage in Your Career

It’s not uncommon for self-sabotaging habits to show up most in our career, in fact according to the Self-Sabotage Workbook by The Daily Wellness, the career is the area that people who self-sabotage struggle with the most. Here are the nine signs of self-sabotage in your career to look out for:

Indecision. You struggle or hesitate to make decisions and choose behaviors that block you from achieving your goals. (This is likely due to overthinking or self-doubt)
Not Taking Risks. Taking calculated risks is essential for career growth, but if you’re afraid to take risks you may be missing out on great opportunities.
Not Staying Organized. If you can’t stay organized, you may miss important deadlines or forget to take care of tasks.
Not Being Proactive. Waiting for instructions or tasks to be handed to you is not the best way to get ahead. Initiative is needed to move forward.
Not Setting Goals. Without goals, you don’t have anything to strive for, and that can lead to complacency.
Refusing to Accept Constructive Criticism. If you’re not willing to listen to criticism and learn from it, you may be hindering your career progress.
Not Seeking Feedback. Not taking the time to get feedback from your peers or supervisors can keep you from understanding and improving your skills and performance.
Failing to Focus on Development. Investing in yourself through training and development is essential, especially if you want to move up in your field.
Seeking Comfort. You might stay in your career comfort zone due to fear of failure of uncertainty.

Self-Sabotage in Your Education

Education and schooling can highlight strengths and weaknesses, and future goals, which can often bring about self-sabotaging behaviors like professionalism and procrastination. Self-Sabotage in your education shows up in these eight ways:

Procrastinating. Putting off studying, completing assignments and other tasks that are essential for academic success.

Being Disorganized. Not having a plan for completing tasks or deadlines, or not keeping track of important dates and materials.

Lack of Focus. Not being able to concentrate on the task at hand and allowing distractions to get in the way of learning.

Not Asking For Help. Not seeking advice or assistance from teachers, tutors, or peers when needed.

Not Taking Breaks. Trying to cram too much studying in a short period of time, which can lead to burn-out.

Unrealistic Expectations. Setting goals that are too difficult to achieve or not allowing for any mistakes.

Not Taking Responsibility. Blaming others for mistakes or not taking ownership of a situation.

Not Making Healthy Choices. Not getting enough sleep eating unhealthy foods or engaging in other activities that can affect your ability to focus.

Self-Sabotage in Your Romantic Partnerships

Previous traumas, childhood relationships with your parents, and self-esteem are some of the biggest factors that can contribute to you self-sabotaging your romantic relationships. Here are 13 ways that self-sabotaging can affect romantic relationships:

Not communicating openly and honestly

Blaming the other person for your own issues

Resisting vulnerability

Putting up walls

Not being able to forgive

Having unrealistic expectations

Having a lack of trust

Making assumptions about the other person

Not respecting boundaries

Constantly seeking reassurance, validation, or approval

Using the silent treatment to punish the other person

Allowing outside influences to interfere in the relationship

Not taking the time to nurture the relationship

Self-Sabotage in Your Friendships/Family

Relationships with friends and family members are layered and complex. It can often bring about questions about your self-worth, self-esteem, having to practice boundaries, and unconscious behaviors you may not be aware of. There are nearly 20 ways to sabotage your relationship with family members or friends. Here they are:

Not making time for friends or not showing up when plans are made.

Making negative comments about others.

Being unreliable or not following through on promises.

Withholding compliments or downplaying another person’s successes.

Refusing to listen or hear out another person’s point of view.

Failing to be honest or keeping secrets from friends.

Jealousy or feeling threatened by another person’s successes.

Blaming others for one’s own mistakes.

Not being supportive of friends/family members during difficult times.

Gossiping or talking badly about other people or friends.

Comparing one’s friends to others or putting them down.

Not respecting boundaries or taking advantage of the friendship.

Ignoring or disrespecting a friend’s feelings.

Not apologizing when wrong or not taking responsibility for mistakes.

Not giving your friends the same attention as you give to others.

Being overly competitive or trying to one-up friends.

Making friends feel like they’re not important or not valued.

Not being honest about one’s feelings or intentions.

Not being flexible or open to compromise.

Not being present or engaged when spending time with friends or family members.

And last but certainly not least-

Self-Sabotage in Your Health

People often self-sabotage their health by having unhealthy habits and attitudes that can lead to physical and mental issues. Here are ten ways that we sabotage our physical health:

Eating a diet poor in nutrients

Not getting enough sleep

Not drinking enough water

Failing to exercise regularly

Not taking your medication

Drinking or smoking excessively

Neglecting your mental health

Excessive social media use

Engaging in dangerous activities

Not making time for hobbies or relaxation

Being aware of the many ways that we self-sabotage can help us avoid these tendencies or habits and adjust early on. As they say, prevention is better than treatment and the goal is to break the cycle of self sabotage and thrive on the greatest level of authenticity.

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

The Downward Spiral of Self-Sabotage

Hey Boo!

This week, we are talking about self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is the act of consciously or subconsciously undermining one’s own efforts or progress. Self-sabotage can appear in the form of procrastination-putting off tasks that are important to you or engaging in activities that are counterproductive. Self-sabotage could also be negative self-talk or self-defeating behaviors that prevent you from achieving your goals or reaching your fullest potential.

What drives self-sabotage? Fear. Generally, self-sabotage is driven by fear on some level. This underlying fear can contribute to procrastination and perfectionism, and before we know it, we are on a downward spiral. The procrastination and perfectionism caused by our fear increases anxiety which can lead us to think in the form of worst-case scenarios. Constantly thinking of worst-case scenarios causes distorted beliefs about ourselves and the world, which ignites our inner critic. The inner critic has such harsh inner dialogue that it often keeps us stifled, frozen, or running in place- avoiding important tasks or wasting time with insignificant ones. The more the harsh inner dialogue continues, the further we are driven into survival mode. In survival mode, the brain is constantly on the lookout for threats to your safety. This unconscious vigilance can drive you to hold on to old issues to protect you from physical or emotional damage. We cannot be abundant or reach our fullest potential in survival mode, so it’s very important to break to debilitating habit of self-sabotage.

The first step in breaking this habit is to become aware of it – to identify when and why you are engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. Once you have identified the behavior, it is important to understand the underlying causes or triggers for it. This may require exploring your thoughts and feelings in order to better understand why you are engaging in these behaviors.

Once you have identified the triggers, the next step is to replace the self-sabotaging behavior with more positive, productive behaviors. This could be anything from taking a break when you feel overwhelmed, engaging in positive self-talk, to scheduling regular breaks throughout your day.

Finally, it is important to be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion. Self-sabotage is often a defense mechanism, and it is important to remember that it is not a reflection of your worth or ability. It is possible to break the habit of self-sabotage and take the steps to make positive changes in your life. With this blog and the journaling prompts I hope to help you shed some light on your self-sabotage habits, learn how to recognize them, identify which areas of your life they show up most, and how to manage your habits by creating new ones.

Be sure to follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and/or TikTok (@mimi.sums) for more self-sabotaging and personal development content.

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…