What’s in Your Coping Toolbox?

Hey Boo!

Life consistently presents us with challenges and changes and at times this can lead to us feeling stressed. Learning to cope with various life situations is the key to succeeding with stress rather than experiencing distress. This blog contains ideas for coping with stress and acute emotional crises. Here are some ideas for coping with stress:

Understand more about stress – this involves recognizing your sources of stress and how stress affects you personally. Plan for stressful periods.

Problem-solve – what is the problem, be specific and break it down into realistic achievable components. Then set goals on how to deal with each problem. Make sure you include how to begin your plan of action.

Develop new behavior – if you take on too much or have problems saying no, practice being more assertive. Learn to manage your time more effectively and delegate wherever possible! Avoid procrastination. Remind yourself that procrastination causes unneeded anxiety. Get the task done and out of the way so that you don’t’ have to worry about it later.

Make sure you develop a support network – deliberately develop good supportive relationships. Ask for help when needed and accept it when offered. You must also be prepared to do the same for others.

Make time to relax and enjoy yourself – how many of us know we should do more of this but don’t make the time? Set aside time each day to relax and build this into your routine. Develop hobbies and leisure activities that help you to switch off.

Ideas For Coping with Acute Emotional Distress

Use of distraction – the aim of this is to limit the time you spend in contact with the emotional stimuli, the things that are causing you to feel emotional. The stimuli could be anything from another person to the thoughts that you are having. Distraction involves doing something else to absorb your attention.

Imagery – think of safe and soothing images. This involves imagining images that make you feel good, it may be a favorite place, person, pet or scenes from nature.

Relaxation – learn a simple technique like using peripheral vision to induce relaxation. Peripheral vision is effective at switching on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system responsible for making us feel calm. It’s not possible to feel anxious or distressed while fully relaxed in peripheral vision.

Live in the moment – as adults we tend to spend much of our time stuck contemplating what went wrong in the past or what may go wrong in the future. Try and just focus on the ‘moment’. Perhaps this may involve thinking something like ‘I’m in my house in my favorite chair, I’m warm and comfortable and I have a good book to read’.

Exercise – physical activity can help to disperse the chemicals released in your body by the stress response. It also releases feel good chemicals known as endorphins.

Soothe yourself – do something to nurture your 5 senses. Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Until Next time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

The Secret to Making Lasting Changes

Hey Boo!

Think you can’t change? Many of us already know that we need to improve our state of well-being in order to extend our lives as we age. Making changes is traditionally difficult, but the good news is that it’s never too late to make changes for the better. The first step is to understand what’s important to you, and then determine the choices and decisions that represent where you want to be. Maybe you want to start a new career, lose weight, stop smoking or start exercising. Whatever the change is, be sure you understand why you want to make the change.

Take a moment to think about a time in your life when you made a successful change or developed a new habit. What was your motivation for the change? What was your attitude at the time? What obstacles or barriers did you have to overcome? Your level of readiness to change will determine how successful you are, and how much time it will take. Once you make the decision to change, you must practice that new behavior one day at a time until it becomes a habit – a lasting change.

Embracing the concept of change is a big thing, because interestingly, many people think they don’t have a choice when it comes to change. But why is that? For some it’s fear, guilt, love, pain, time management, or even tradition. What motivates one person may not be the same thing that gets another person to act. Everyone reacts differently to changes, whether voluntary or mandatory.

To start making a change, let go of certain assumptions or ways of doing things, to make room for new ideas. Work on this one day at a time until you feel comfortable.

To make a lasting change, you start wherever you are and stretch a tiny bit more each time. If you fall off the wagon, or experience resistance, identify the cause or circumstances— who you were with, where you were, or your emotional state. The key is to get up and get back on the path again. You may go forward and backward a few times because making a lasting change is challenging and takes consistency and trial and error. Your level of readiness to change will determine how successful you are, and how much time it will take. But you need to be ready, able and willing to make change happen.

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

A Practical Guide to Behavioral Change

Hey Boo,

In a world that’s constantly evolving, the ability to change behaviors- whether personal or within a team- is a powerful asset. Behavioral change can lead to improved productivity, healthier habits, and a more fulfilling life. However, activating behavioral change isn’t always easy. It requires understanding your thought processes, employing strategic techniques, and maintaining consistency over time. This guide will show you how to successfully activate and sustain behavioral change.

Set Clear and Measurable Goals

Behavioral change begins with a clear understanding of what you want to achieve. Abstract goals like ‘get healthier’ or ‘be more productive’ often lead to confusion and lack of focus. Instead, break down these broader objectives into specific, actionable goals.

For example:

Exercise for 30 minutes, 3 times a week

Limit social media use to 1 hour per day

These goals should be measurable and time bound to track progress. The SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) goal setting framework is a useful tool here.

Understand the Triggers and Cues

Most behaviors are linked to specific triggers or cues. For instance, you may unconsciously grab a snack every time you sit down to watch TV. Recognizing these patterns is key to changing them. Start by:

Identifying the behavior you want to change.

Pinpointing the cue or trigger for that behavior. This could be a location, time of day, emotional state, or even people you’re around.

Once the trigger is identified, you can work on modifying it or replacing the undesired behavior with a positive one, also called a life giving activity.

Leverage the Power of Habit

According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, habits operate on a “cue-routine-routine” loop. To change behavior, you need to modify this loop:

Cue: The trigger that initiates the behavior.

Routine: The behavior or action itself

Reward: The positive reinforcement you get from the action.

By keeping the same cue and reward but changing the routine, you can reshape habits. For example, if you snack when stressed, find a new routine like drinking tea or going for a short walk. This will satisfy the craving for stress relief without the unhealthy behavior.

Use Positive Reinforcement: Positive reinforcement is a proven psychological technique to promote behavioral change. Reward yourself for sticking to new behaviors or achieving small milestones. Rewards can be intrinsic (a sense of accomplishment) or extrinsic (a treat, an experience, or a material reward). However, the reward should be tied to the effort and not undermine the goal (example: don’t reward a healthy week of eating with a day of overeating)

Harness the Power of Social Influence: We humans are social creatures and our behaviors are often influenced by the people around us. This can be used to your advantage.

Surround yourself with people who encourage and model the behavior you want to adopt.

Join communities, online or in person, where your new behavior is celebrated and supported. Seek out an accountability partner who can keep you on track and provide feedback.

Social influence creates a sense of accountability and normalizes the new behavior.

Start Small and Build Momentum: Often, people try to change too much too fast, leading to burnout, discouragement, or failure. Instead, focus on small incremental changes. For example, if your goal is to exercise regularly, start with 10 minutes a day instead of jumping into hour-long workouts. These small wins build momentum and make larger goals feel more attainable.

Use Visual Reminders: Visual cues can be a powerful tool to reinforce new behaviors. Some common strategies include:

Keeping a habit tracker where you mark off each day you complete the desired action.

Placing reminders in visible places (Sticky notes or your mirror, phone alarms)

Creating vision boards that reflect the results of your desired behavioral change.

These visual tools keep the goal front and center in your mind and increase your chances of sticking to it.

Plan for Setbacks: Behavioral change is rarely linear. There will be moments when you fall back into old patterns, and that’s okay. The key is to recognize that setbacks are part of the process, not a sign of failure. When a slip-up happens:

Analyze what triggered the old behavior.

Reaffirm your commitment to the change.

Adjust your approach if necessary and keep moving forward.

Having a plan for setbacks makes it easier to bounce back and avoid guilt of frustration.

Consistency Over Intensity: Consistency is more important than intensity when it comes to lasting behavioral change. Daily or regular practice, even in small amounts, is more effective than intense but infrequent efforts. Aim for sustainable actions that you can integrate into your daily life.

For example, if you want to develop a meditation habit, it’s better to start with 5 minutes a day consistently rather than attempting an hour-long session once a week.

Track and Reflect on Progress: Regular reflection helps you assess what’s working and what isn’t. Keep a journal, use a habit tracking app, or simply spend time each week reviewing your progress. These practices:

Reinforce the positive changes you’ve made.

Highlight areas for improvement.

Encourage further growth.

By reflecting on your journey, you’ll remain motivated and aware of the progress you’ve made, which can help maintain the behavior in long term.

Activating behavioral change is both an art and a science. It requires self-awareness, strategic planning, and persistence. By setting clear goals, understanding the psychology behind habits, and staying consistent, anyone can create lasting change in their behavior. Whether you want to be healthier, more productive, or achieve personal growth, these steps will help you initiate and sustain meaningful change.

Go forth and be great, Boo. You got this!

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

10 Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Hey Boo!

Confidence is a trait that many of us admire in others but struggle to develop in ourselves. But the good news is that even if you don’t have confidence naturally, confidence is a skill that can be learned and cultivated. Like any other skill, it grows with intention, practice, and persistence. In this blog, we’ll explore practical ways to boost your confidence and create lasting self-assurance.

Understand the Root of Low Confidence

The first step to boosting your confidence is identifying what holds you back. Is it fear of failure? Comparison to others? Negative self-talk? Understanding the root cause allows you to address it head-on.

Action Step

Take time to reflect. Journal about moments when you felt your confidence waver. What were the triggers? Awareness is the foundation of change.

Celebrate Small Wins

Confidence builds through achievement. It’s not about waiting for monumental successes, but about recognizing the small victories that happen everyday. Whether it’s finishing a challenging task, learning something new, or even showing kindness to someone else, these small wins accumulate into a greater sense of accomplishment.

Action Step

Start a “win journal.’ Each day, write down three things you accomplished or are proud of, no matter how small. Over time, this practice will remind you of your growth and progress.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Our internal dialogue greatly impacts our confidence. If you frequently tell yourself you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The key to reversing this is to become aware of these thoughts and replace them with empowering beliefs.

Action Step

When you find yourself engaging in negative self talk, pause and ask: “Is this thought helpful? Is it true?” Replace it with a positive affirmation or a more constructive perspective. For example, instead of thinking, “I’ll never be able to do this” shift to, “I’m learning and improving every day.”

Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

True confidence comes from facing challenges and stepping out of your comfort zone. By confronting fear and uncertainty, you gradually prove to yourself that you are capable of more than you thought.

Action Step

Identify one thing that scares you but could help you grow. It could be public speaking, starting a new project, or joining a group activity. Take small, calculated steps toward that goal and celebrate your progress along the way.

Cultivate Self-Compassion

Confidence isn’t about perfection, it’s about self-acceptance. Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes or when things don’t go as planned. Embrace failure as part of the learning process, not a reflection of your worth.

Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a close friend, when things don’t go well, instead of criticizing yourself, offer words of encouragement. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and they opportunities for growth.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people you surround yourself with have a significant impact on your confidence. Negative, critical, or unsupportive relationships can drain your self-esteem, while positive, encouraging ones can uplift and empower you.

Action Step

Evaluate your relationships. Are they supportive and uplifting? If not, consider setting boundaries with negative influences and seeking out individuals who inspire and motivate you.

Focus on Your Strengths

Everyone has unique strengths and talents. Often, we focus so much on our weaknesses that we forget to celebrate what we’re good at. Confidence grows when we recognize and play to our strengths.

Action Step

Make a list of your strengths, talents, and things you enjoy doing. How can you incorporate more of these into your daily life? The more you align with your strengths, the more confident you’ll feel.

Practice Body Language

Confidence isn’t just a mindset- it’s also physical. How you carry yourself affects how you feel. Standing tall, maintaining good posture, and making eye contact can send signals to both yourself as well as others that you are confident, even if you don’t feel that way at first.

Action Step

Practice standing with your shoulders back and your head held high. Smile more often and make eye contact. Notice how these small adjustments shift your mood and the way others respond to you.

Set and Achieve Realistic Goals

Setting and achieving goals, no matter how small, is a powerful way to build confidence. Each goal you accomplish reinforces the belief that you are capable.

Action Step

Break larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Focus on making steady progress, and each completed step will boost your confidence.

Visualize Your Success

Visualization is a powerful tool for boosting confidence. When you imagine yourself succeeding, your brain starts to believe it’s possible. This mental rehearsal prepares you for the real thing.

Action Step

Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself achieving a specific goal or handling a challenging situation with confidence. Imagine how you’ll feel and the actions you’ll take. This practice will help you feel more prepared when the moment comes.

Building confidence is a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and consistent effort. By taking small steps each day and practicing the strategies outlined in this blog, you’ll find yourself growing stronger, more resilient, and more confident in every aspect of your life.

Remember confidence is not about having it all together. It’s about believing in your ability to learn, grow, and handle whatever comes your way. Keep going Boo, and you’ll be amazed at the new heights you’ll reach!

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

5 Ways to Get Motivated Again

Hey Boo!

From time to time, we find ourselves in a rut. We seem to lose our zest for life and feel tired, irritable and unmotivated. We want to hide under the covers rather than face the day. Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed by work and adulting or just bored with the routine of your daily life.

You are not alone love. We all go through periods like this at some point. The good news is that we can do something about it. Here are some tips to help break out of the rut and feel excited about life again:

Take a “Time Out” – Prolonged stress can wear us down and zap any enthusiasm we once had. Before doing anything else, take a few minutes to breathe and just BE. Empty your mind of all stress and worry. This takes practice, but don’t give up! As thoughts come into your mind, gently push them back out and continue to keep your mind empty and calm. Take slow, deep breaths and let all of your muscles relax. Sit quietly and recharge your batteries. Try to do this daily, or even twice daily (morning and night). We need quiet time as much as we need anything else in life. Give yourself the gift of inner peace.

Get Inspired – Read something motivational, inspirational or uplifting. Look at some beautiful nature photos or read something you find funny. Consciously move your thoughts to a more positive place. Focusing on nothing but work and our daily tasks in life can leave us feeling pretty uninspired. It’s easy to turn it around if we want to. We just have to seek out things that will lift our spirits and our moods. Make it a point to laugh, be happy, joyful and lighthearted each day. Don’t wait for inspiration to come knocking on your door, go out and find it, or create it. Conjure up some funny or touching memories. Write them in a journal so you can go back and read them when you’re feeling down.

Get Excited – Think about the things you have planned for the day and rekindle the enthusiasm you once felt for them. When we first begin a new project, or start a new job, we are excited about the possibilities and eager to get moving! Over time, we can lose that enthusiasm for a variety of reasons. Travel back in time for a moment and think about what got you so excited at the beginning. What made your heartbeat a little faster? Recapture that feeling and hang onto it! Even if your tasks aren’t anything to be really excited about, at least think of some positive benefits to doing them. For example, list the ways they will benefit your children, your spouse, yourself, your job or your home. Identify the reward and focus on that. Even mundane tasks have some benefits. Sometimes it’s just a matter of switching our mindset to see the positive side.

Baby Steps – Sometimes the hardest part is actually getting started. A project seems so monstrous that we cringe at the thought of all that time and energy we’ll have to expend. Instead of overwhelming yourself, start small. Set a timer for 15 minutes and just start working on it. Allow yourself to stop after 15 minutes if you really want to. But most often, once we actually start working on something, we won’t want to stop. Don’t focus on the big picture, look at the smaller details and take them on one at a time. Any large task seems manageable once we break it down into smaller steps.

Care for Your Body – Sometimes our feelings of fatigue are caused by physical deficiencies, not mental. Be sure you are getting enough rest, eating food that nourishes your body, drinking enough water, getting enough exercise, etc. Especially when we’re very busy, we tend to grab the quickest, easiest meals, which aren’t always the best choice for our bodies. Eating a lot of highly processed foods and sugar is like putting watered-down gasoline into our cars. In order for our cars to run smoothly, we need to maintain them properly, and so it is with our bodies also. Remember, the body is the vehicle for the mind and soul!

Finally, remember to reward yourself from time to time, and be gentle with yourself! There will always be things that “need” to be done. But some of us take on way more than we can handle, and our lives turn into a pit of drudgery because of it. Try to eliminate the things that truly don’t bring you joy, or at least minimize the time you spend on them. Do what you can, and let the rest go. Or ask for help. Don’t feel you have to do everything yourself.

Remember that motivation, just like happiness, is something we CHOOSE. We may need to give ourselves a little push at the beginning, but once we get into the right mindset, it’s simple to stay there if we so desire.

Until Next time beautiful souls, keep glowing…

How to Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

Hey Boo!

Have you ever made a statement like “I can’t afford that” or “I don’t have time, and I am not strong enough”? Limiting beliefs are those that confine you and incorrectly define you.

Limiting beliefs are the lies or excuses we tell ourselves that ultimately stifle us or delay success. The majority of limiting beliefs are subconscious and started in childhood when rules and limits were imposed. As crucial as these rules and guidelines were for your safety or success in school, this is likely where you started developing limiting beliefs. These limiting beliefs can hold us back from living a whole life as adults. We still have rules to follow, but there are less and achievement is endless. While you do not have to adhere to the same standards and regulations as a child or young adult, that does not mean your mind has changed to know any better.

It is your responsibility to recognize and break down these limiting beliefs to accomplish all the impressive goals you have. This blog will show you how to identify your limiting beliefs and overcome them so you can achieve greater heights in life.

Identify Your Beliefs

There are a few ways to identify your limiting beliefs, and all require personal reflection. It may even be helpful to bring in a close friend or coworker to help identify your limiting beliefs through an open conversation. It can be challenging to identify limiting beliefs, but here are a couple of exercises you can do to help find them.

Make A List Of Your Own Beliefs.

Take time to write down any beliefs you hold that are important to you and influence your everyday life. Then, you can group these beliefs into different categories, like finances, family, relationships, and health. When you’ve done this, consider the ones that limit your growth and the ones that help.

Analyze Your Behavior

You can also assess your behavior to identify limiting beliefs. For example, consider situations where you have acted negatively or in unhealthy ways and why you behaved that way. Limiting beliefs may be the underlying cause of your toxic behavior if you examine it closely.

For instance, if you find it difficult to talk about money or a financial situation, you may possess the limiting belief that money or conflict is terrible, which makes having difficult but necessary conversations regarding budgeting, retirement, and general finances in life. Consequently, causing relational conflicts when money is involved, e.g., marriage and business.

It may also be an excellent time to bring in a trusted individual to help you identify your limiting beliefs during this analyzing process. For instance, watch where your inner dialog goes when someone compliments you. Is it gratitude or distrust? If it is distrust, there is most likely a limiting belief looming in the corner of your mind. Analyze that moment and see if you can figure out the limiting belief and what new, more positive mantra can replace it.

Where Are You Repeatedly Challenged?

Think about times when you repeatedly struggle. Perhaps, you never have luck in romantic relationships, or you procrastinate consistently when a specific task needs to get done. These challenges may indicate a limiting belief. Whenever you write down an area of challenge, take note of which of your thoughts may be holding you back. In other words, if you’re constantly struggling to squeeze in a workout, find out what you think about health and wellness and how accessible it is for you. What is the limiting belief, the consistent excuse, or the lack of confidence preventing you from achieving this goal?

Applying Change to Break Down Barriers

To start letting go of limiting beliefs, we need to let go of certainty. As humans, we love stability, comfort, and certainty. However, certainty can also hold you back. It’s what prevents you from leaving unhealthy relationships, starting that business you want to have, traveling to that far away place that intrigues you, and keeps you from quitting that job you hate. Certainty can be a dream killer. Combining certainty with limited beliefs will keep you stuck in unhappiness and unfulfillment for a very long time. So let’s start with killing certainty and then change those limiting beliefs.

Once you understand that certainty needs to go, it’s time to start changing self-talk. More often than not, negative self-talk tells you why you can’t achieve your goals. Unfortunately, self-talk is constant, and we must switch out negative self-talk with positive, life-giving, empowering thoughts. Once you identify your limiting beliefs, choose a new empowering belief to replace them. Then, apply this new belief whenever you feel the only limiting belief creep up. Doing this will create a new habit of thought and slowly change your mindset and eliminate limiting beliefs over time.

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep glowing…

Where Does the Time Go?!

Hey Boo!

Time management is a big concern for a lot of people, including myself. Trying to run a small business, working full-time, keeping up with multiple social media platforms, taking care of personal/family obligations, while managing my physical and mental health has me running around like a chicken with my head cut off at times! When I speak with co-workers I often hear, “There are just not enough hours in the day…” or “Where does my time go?” The fact of the matter is that we all live busy lives. Work, family, and other commitments keep us all in constant motion it seems. So, how do we get everything we need to do done? We can’t get more hours in a day, so we have to better manage the time that we do have.

To utilize better time management, it’s important to recognize what the specific problems are. Is it not having enough time for you or your family? Maybe you are not sure where all your time is going and just want to account for it. Or you could have a full schedule that you are having a hard time keeping up with. Whatever the reason, time is a precious resource that most of us need to use to its fullest.

The most important step in time management is evaluating our schedules. On a sheet of paper write up a “typical” week for you, by looking at your current schedule you will be able to identify places where better time management could be used. Ask yourself why you are feeling unsatisfied with your schedule? Make a list of what you want to change and what you want to make room for. Do you want more time to pursue interests? More time to be with your children? Or just more time to get everything done?

After you have done this take a piece of paper and draw three columns. In the first column put a list of all appointments, events, or commitments that are “set in stone”, things that take place at a set time and happen daily, weekly or monthly. Such as work, club meetings, or standing doctor’s appointments. In the second column put “flexible” tasks or commitments that can be done around your “set in stone” commitments, such as grocery shopping, house cleaning, or having lunch with a friend. In the third column put those “occasional” appointments, doctor appointments, a school play, or an old friend coming into town (or anything that does not fall into the other two columns).

Then using a calendar (preferably one with large spaces for the days) Or use a notebook and label each page a day or two (depending on how much you are trying to accomplish daily or weekly.) Start putting in the items from your three columns, starting with the items that are “set in stone” then the items that are occasional, leave the “flexible” items to last since you are able to put them in around the other things.

The objective is to balance out your days and to maximize your time. Why make a separate trip to the pharmacy when it is on your way to your daughter’s dance practice? I always try to plan appointments in the same area on the same day, this reduces my travel time and gets the most out of my day.

The biggest thing to consider is: Are you doing too much? No matter how well time is managed there is such a thing as an overload of commitments. Time management is not just about structuring your week so that you can get everything accomplished. It is about creating a manageable schedule that will give you time for the important things in life. So, before looking at your time management skills look at what you are trying to juggle.

Include things that you want to do but just don’t seem to have time for in your day. What is the sense of managing your time better just to fit in more work? A part of time management is balancing so that you can have time to enjoy the fun stuff in life too.

If you are so booked solid that you cannot schedule an hour and a half of quality family time, an hour of time with your significant other, and at least at the very minimum 30 minutes – 45 minutes of time for yourself then you have too much on your plate and it is time to ask for help to relieve yourself of some commitments. Being run down and worn-out will not assist you in better time management, in fact it will hinder it.

Remember that you are not a robot, rest is an important part of productivity, listen to your body, and small consistent steps are better than occasional random leaps.

Until next time beautiful soul, keep glowing…

The Power of Positive Thinking

Hey Boo!

Have you ever wonder how super-successful people become super- successful? Is it privilege, or luck? Or, is it possible that the world’s greatest achievers think completely differently from the majority?

Do you think the Wright brothers could ever have achieved what they did if they hadn’t believed it could be done? What about Simone Biles or Sha’Carri Richardson? How different would their stories be had they let negative words or thoughts decide their fate?

Success in any aspect of life (financial, professional, romantic, etc.) is neither achieved or maintained in a state of negativity. Think of your thoughts as seeds- you can’t grow a positive outcome from negative thoughts.

I myself have been in the company of negative thinkers and let me tell you that their influence if allowed to go unchecked is very powerful and destructive. Look at what happens if you place a piece of rotting fruit in a bowl of fresh fruit. All of the surrounding fruit begins to rot as well. This is why it is paramount that if you want to be successful in life, you must surround yourself with positive thinking individuals and to share your positive thoughts and attitudes with likeminded people.

It is also equally important that you write your goals down and place them in a position where you can see and read them on a daily basis.

In the late 1950’s, 1500 students at Yale University were sent a questionnaire covering various parts of the college experience. Here are the last two questions:

1) Do you have an ambition in your life?

2) Have you written it down?

Twenty-five years later, a postgraduate decided to carry out further research on the last two questions. Here are the results of his findings.

Over 75% of the students who completed the questionnaire had ambitions for their lives.

Only 3.3% had actually written their ambitions down.

After tracking down as many of the 3.3% (51 students) as he could, he found that all of them had gone on to realize their dreams – in commerce, in government and in the professions.

Of the others he had managed to contact, (the ones who didn’t write their ambitions down) they told him that most of what they had achieved had happened more by chance than design. They had ended up in careers they hadn’t planned for because they didn’t define what it was they were actually seeking to do. Is it safe to say that by writing your goals down you are actively programming or reprogramming your brain to change the way you subconsciously perceive?

Not having been party to the experiment which was carried out at YALE, I can neither confirm or deny it. But I do believe in the strength of being intentional and the power of positive thinking.

Until next time, beautiful souls keep glowing…

4 Simple Steps to Conquer Self Esteem

Hey Boo!

Since we’ve been talking about worthiness lately, I thought it would be fitting to blog about self-esteem. Self-esteem plays a vital role in your sense of worthiness, and if you’re wounded in that area it can be quite a fight to recover from it. But you can win the battle over low self esteem with these 4 simple steps…

Affirmations

Affirmations are simply positive things that you say out loud to yourself every day. This can be very difficult at times because you may not actually believe what you are saying. SO why would you say something to yourself that you don’t believe?

Increased self esteem has to start with you. So, if you are shy and intimidated by people, start to say something like the following: I am self assured and charismatic. I am confident while speaking with others.

Repeat this to yourself out loud at least 10 times before you leave your room. When you say this, don’t just mumble it either, say it as many times as necessary until you say it with passion and conviction.

Read to grow

Again, increased self esteem starts with you. Read something everyday for at least 15 minutes that will help you increase your self esteem. This can be an article, a book, or even an audio series. The more you learn the more you will grow. The more you grow, the more your self esteem will improve.

Take action everyday

Do something every day, starting with something small, that directly deals with your low self esteem. For instance, if you can’t talk with people because you feel insecure and inferior, just start off by saying ‘Hi’. As you get more comfortable with this, then start to make small talk. You will begin to feel more confident and more confident until one day, you will find that you have overcome low self-esteem in that area.

Stop the negative thoughts

Negative thoughts are like landmines. As soon as you step out to face your fear, a negative thought comes and tells you that you can’t do it and BOOM; you believe it and lose that round. Instead, diffuse negative thoughts before they have a chance to do damage.

A great way to do this is with a rubber band! Put a rubber band around your wrist. Every time a thought comes into your head that tells you that you can’t, you will never succeed, you are a loser, or anything negative, SNAP the rubber band on your wrist.

You may be snapping that band until your wrist is red and sore. Before long though, you will stop the negative thoughts because you don’t want to hurt your wrist anymore.

These four steps will help you increase your self esteem and become the person you really want to be. Just remember this: you are not going to change over night. It will take time but as long as you are progressing, you are winning the war.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Shifting Negatives Into Positives

Hey Boo!

If you want to move your life ahead, you should replace the negatives in your life with positives. This article will show you how to take the negative influences in your life away and replace them with positives, so you will have increases in morale, and productivity. Focus on the positive for success and peak performance.

Most of us are not aware of the amount of negative influences in our lives. We are bombarded with negative messages from the media, the people around us, and most damaging of all, ourselves.

The first step in the process in replacing negatives with positives in your life is to make a decision to start looking for the negative messages and ways to replace them with positives. Decide that you will focus on the positive in this world.

Begin to drastically cut down on the amount of news you take in. Most people start their day with the news. And of course most of the news is bad news, fires, floods, etc. Then it is on to traffic and weather, which also stresses the negatives. So, by the time you have finished your coffee, you have had enough bad news to last a week. Does all this bad news make you want to throw open the door and happily charge into the bright, new day? Quite the opposite, right? And how about the way we end the day? Many of us watch the news before going to bed and get a big dose of negative information just before trying to go to sleep. Is it any wonder so many people have trouble sleeping? The mood we are in before we go to sleep carries over to the next morning, so you are setting yourself up for starting the next day in a bad mood. Odds are you don’t need all that negative information you are taking in from the news, and you will function just fine without it.

Replace the news you were taking in with such things as motivational tapes, uplifting music and sites that stress good news. Also reading empowering books helps a great deal. Books can be a fantastic way to recharge your life. Look for success stories, biographies of successful people, etc and see what works for you. You will begin to feel better immediately.

Your next step is to limit the amount of TV you watch. A recent study showed that 78% of the people watching TV are not interested in the program they are watching at any given time. So, watching TV is probably making you bored at best, and taking you away from activities that would be more fun. Prime time is the period when most people are watching TV; you can make it your prime time by turning off the TV and using that time to move your life ahead.

Next you need to limit your exposure to negative people. Most people don’t realize how draining it is to be around negative people, but they drain your energy and spirit in many ways. Negative people pull you down, so work to remove them from your life to the extent you can. Never get involved in the office pity party, or complaint sessions that come your way. Seek out people that support you and that you feel good being around and use these people to replace the negative people in your life.

The most damaging source of negativity is ourselves. Most of us generate lots of negative self talk that our minds accept as the truth and results in our being held back in many ways. We focus on our shortcomings, our problems, and spend our time predicting more bad news for ourselves, generating lots of fear and worry, while undercutting our ability to try new things, etc. Begin to focus on the positive aspects of you. What are your unique strengths, what have you accomplished, how are you different from other people? Use visualization and affirmations to build images of yourself accomplishing the things you want and use these to replace the negative images. Give yourself lots of credit for everything you do right, so you are getting even more positive news about yourself. Also, set aside three minutes every day to think about all the good things you have in your life right now. The process of thinking of the good things in your life, will generate good feelings for you that will last much of the day.

Don’t forget to take care of your body. Eat foods that fuel your body for the day ahead, (Im’ still working on that myself) cut out some bad habits and get regular exercise in order to boost your self-esteem while building your strength and endurance, so you can accomplish more.

Helping others will also help you feel better about yourself. Take time to get involved in a charity, animal shelter, or other activities that help others. You will get good feedback and positive energy from others and develop a genuine sense of pride and accomplishment. Remember that what you put out comes back to you, so make sure it is good that goes out.

By replacing the negatives in your life with positives, you will make yourself and probably the world a better place. You will feel better mentally and physically, plus accomplish many of the things you want to. Nothing is ever accomplished without action, so start now to move your life ahead.

Until next time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…