Experiencing Inner Peace

Hey Boo!

Inner Peace, isn’t that what we’d all love to experience consistently as we weave our paths through everything life gives us? The good news is it is far simpler to attain than many of our outer (material or physical) goals. The bad news is that simple isn’t always easy! Attaining inner peace is not easy because it means replacing old habits with new, and that requires dedicated commitment. But the benefits are absolutely worth the effort.

Inner peace gives you the ability to live your life with a sense of happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment which is not disturbed or influenced by outside events. How do you acquire it? By living your life your own way, not how others think you should. By not worrying about what others think of you – we all judge others (both positively and negatively) according to our own values, but if we try to live our lives in a way which honors somebody else’s values rather than our own, we’ll always have a little gnawing discomfort going on deep inside.

To experience inner peace, we also need to be able to forgive and to let go of guilt. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Feeling guilty about past actions won’t change them and won’t make anybody feel any better (either the offended or the offender). Do what you can to make things right, make a clear and distinct decision to do better in the future and move on.

Letting go of anger or grudges will also bring about a surprising sense of peace. Think about it – how does holding onto these negative emotions help you? And do you think they hurt those against whom you hold them more than they hurt you? Not at all. In most situations, the person that’s hurt you has moved on and is enjoying life-completely oblivious to how you feel. We must take both responsibility and control of our emotions because no matter who we believe caused them they only truly affect us.

Of course, it can be very difficult to forgive someone who’s hurt you, but what I’ve come to realize is that most people don’t maliciously set out to hurt others, and those who do are deeply unhappy themselves. The motivation behind their action was most probably some kind of fear rather than deliberately wanting to cause hurt or pain. And thought of in that context, it’s easier to let it go and move forward.

And with a little bit of practice at forgiveness, you may even find yourself getting less annoyed or angry with people in future. When you can shrug things off and not take things personally (it’s really about them, and not you at all), you’ll have a greater sense of inner peace. Our happiness is determined by how we think about the events in our lives, rather than by the events themselves. Take charge of your thoughts and you take charge of your emotions.

To achieve inner peace, you also need to let go of worry. This does take work but, it’s definitely worth the effort. Worry is similar to guilt. Worrying about what might or might not happen is completely unproductive, and totally destroys your ability to enjoy the present moment. A great shame that would be, as the present moment is all we really have.

So, how do we learn to let go of worries, guilt and anger? Well, the first thing is to become consciously aware of what we’re thinking whenever we feel worried, guilty or angry. Notice what’s going on in your inner dialogue, and acknowledge that it’s your thoughts about the external event that’s causing you to feel the way you do, and not the event itself. Then reframe your thoughts to reflect what’s going on around you in a more positive light. Whenever you catch yourself thinking the old thought, banish it immediately and replace it with the new one.

“No-one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world.” — Dr Wayne Dyer

This will take a lot of practice but with patience and persistence you will develop a lighter inner dialogue that promotes a feeling of well-being and inner peace, and the world will feel like a far better place to live in!

Until Next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

3 Steps to Discovering Your Purpose

Hey Boo!

Do you ever wonder, what’s my purpose? What really is the point of it all?

Determining what our purpose is in life can be one of the hardest questions that we as humans must try to answer. In this blog we will be going through a step by step process, exploring your feelings and options, and by the end, you should have a fairly solid tool you can immediately employ in your life, to help give it a meaningful direction!

There are three steps to the process of discovering the purpose of your life:

Understanding the principle of choice
Creating your “underlying principle”
Aligning your life with this underlying principle

Understanding The Principle of Choice

Norman Vincent Peale has this to say about the power of choice. “The greatest power we have is the power of choice. It is an actual fact, that if you have been groping under unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous, instead. And, by effort, lift yourself into joy. If you tend to be fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have courage. The whole trend and the quality of anyone’s life is determined by the choices that are made”.

“Choosing” is the most important activity of your mind, because by making a choice, you are proclaiming your desires to your subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind gets to know your desires, it is going to do anything to manifest them in your life. The choices you make in your life become your goal. And, if you are sincere in pursuing them, there is no reason why you should not accomplish them.

Indecision, on the other hand, not only creates frustration and anxiety, but can also confuses the subconscious mind about what you want. But it is important that the choices you make are made by you, in accordance with your true desires, purposes and aptitude. A lot of us let others make choices for us or make our choices according to what we think is ‘correct’, even if that means going against our own wishes. What is right for someone else may not be right for you, and the way to know this is listening to what your heart says.

So, to begin with, make a list of things which interest you; things which you have always enjoyed, which make you feel better, which inspire you to press forward, no matter what obstacles you face. Do you like doing something creative, or something artistic? Do you enjoy nature? Do you like the sea? Do you enjoy helping others? Do you get pleasure out of making a difference in other people’s lives?

Whatever it is that interests you, write it down and answer these questions:

What thing do you love to do?

What is it that you love about this thing and why?

How could you do this for money, and make a living out of it?

Creating Your Underlying Principle

The next step is to examine the list you just made and find out if there is any recurring theme. Maybe, it is contribution that keeps coming up, or a desire to seek or give love, to feed the hungry, or help the elderly cope with old age. Whatever it is, try to identify the central theme of the things you love to do, and try to put it in a short and precise statement. This will be your ‘Mission Statement’. It may even be a quote by a famous person, or a philosophy that has influenced you. Of course, as you grow up, this statement could evolve, but its soul will remain the same. Now, write down your Mission Statement.

Aligning Your LIFE With Your Underlying Principle

The final step in this journey is to map your path to your ultimate purpose and to begin implementing changes that help to align your daily life with your underlying purpose. Take a moment to brainstorm on the little things that you can do right now to cultivate the energy and environment you want to be in. By making these little changes in your lifestyle, you will be able to begin living this principle out each and every day. It might take a few days, but by becoming aware and intentional of this underlying principle of your life, you will certainly start to feel the difference in your enthusiasm for life as a whole. If you realize that you love being amidst nature, plan out vacations and outings. Maybe an outing with your children or friends can be the start as you create even more ways to get into the environment that helps you thrive most. If you discover that you enjoy helping those in need, start to look for opportunities to volunteer in your community. On the other hand, you might even want to change your job, or start a new business that is more in line with your mission.

Whatever it is that you desire to do, know that it is in you to do- or else you wouldn’t have had the idea or desire in the first place.

So, there you have it! By following along with the steps outlined above, you will be on your way to finding and living out your purpose. And, as you go through this process, just remember, “You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.” – Steve Maraboli

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make Before Hiring a Coach

Hey Boo!

If you think the best way or the only way for you to achieve your goals is to do it by yourself then you have Lone Ranger Mentality. While there are some things that we must do independently, we as humans were not created to be independent, rather we should be interdependent. That being said, if you try to do it on your own and find that you need some help then you are well within your right to ask for assistance. Do you believe that reaching out to someone for help somehow indicates that you aren’t enough? That it somehow means you’re incapable and not smart enough, strong enough or good enough?

Well, let me assure you, the people who come to coaching are all of those things, extremely capable, smart, strong and a whole lot more. They choose coaching because they are ready to accelerate their personal or professional lives and work with a professional who will empower them to achieve their goals faster, easier and with better results than they could on their own.

A coach will facilitate your self-discovery, the identification of your goals and the prioritization of those goals. Your coach will help you create your action plan as well as prepare for and overcome any challenges you encounter along the way. Your coach will hold you accountable for taking consistent action toward the realization of your goals. Accountability is one of the greatest payoffs of coaching. It is so powerful because it can make all the difference in terms of you being a Goal Achiever instead of just a Goal Setter and someone who walks the walk instead of someone who is talking the talk. Think of your coach as your success partner, whose reason for being is to help you get what you want quicker, easier and with better results than you could on your own.

If you’re thinking your life is good and you’re relatively satisfied, congratulations! That did not happen on its own. You have obviously done some fabulous work. You’ve already proven you’re the kind of person who proactively goes after what you want, and you get it. So why would you settle for anything less than great? Why would you settle for a muted life when you could amplify your existence and live out loud? Do you really want to play it safe and stay comfortable? Playing it safe and staying comfortable can take you no further than average.

Common Misconception: only people whose lives are a mess get coaches. That’s actually not true at all. It is not uncommon for some clients to be people who have previously achieved success with coaching in the past. Now that they’ve personally experienced the power of coaching, they realize just how much less they were settling for, for themselves and their lives. They were settling for good when they could have been experiencing great. Coaching can dramatically increase the quality of their lives in all areas, from increased sales to enhanced relationships and from better health to increased productivity. After coaching they feel, many for the very first time, that they are fully and vibrantly alive. Glowing, if you will.

So, we challenge those of you who are settling. We challenge you to stop settling for good. We challenge you to go for GREAT and beyond with coaching.

Do you have dreams or desires that you’ve left unfulfilled because you can’t imagine bringing them to life without adding a lot more to your already jam-packed schedule?

It may surprise you to know that coaching can enable you to be more, do more and have more by working smarter instead of harder. Your coach will lead you through an efficient process. You’ll begin by getting crystal clear about what you do and do not want in your life. What’s great about that is that when you figure out the things in your life that you’re tolerating or doing just because you feel like you should, you can create a lot of extra space in your schedule to tackle the things that are truly meaningful to you. Next, you will develop an action plan that details what it’s going to take, ‘the what by when’, for you to reach your goals. Finally, you will stay focused and on track by being accountable to your coach for taking consistent action and you will learn how to overcome any challenges that come up along the way.

Do you find yourself wishing other people were different; easier to get along with, more positive, more successful, trustworthy, or kind? Or do you find yourself thinking about how your life would be better if your circumstances were different if only you had a better job, more money, more time or more opportunity? Are you telling yourself that these external factors are responsible for what’s not working in your life or for preventing you from having what you want?

It can be very tempting to get caught up in this paradigm. But the reality is that if you are looking for or waiting for something outside of yourself to change and give you what you want, you will be waiting and frustrated for a very long time.

The reason for this is that you do not have control over anything outside of you. What you do have, though, is total control over yourself. You have total control over your thoughts, your actions, and your results.

It is a fact that your circumstances will change when you make a committed decision to do the things that will move you in the direction of what you want to experience in your life, and then do them. Hiring a coach is one of the smartest things you can do to ensure you take control and create the reality you want to experience.

The Third Biggest Mistake – Wasting your time and money on stuff that doesn’t get you the results you want and is not ultimately fulfilling.

Let’s face it; there are an infinite number of things that you can spend your hard earned money and valuable time on these days. When you know you want things to be different or better it’s easy for you to waste your time and your money in one of two ways.

The first one is spending your time and money collecting information that comes in the form of books, software, seminars, reports or programs. You are collecting information that you believe can help you get what you want.

Now don’t get the wrong idea here, information is a great thing. I am a huge believer in books and programs being critical tools in helping you get where you want to go, but I want to make something very clear here.

Information alone will not get you results. You cannot expect that your sales will automatically increase just because you read the Guru of Sales latest book and you can’t assume that your monthly expenses will automatically organize themselves just because you purchased the newest expenses tracking software. You will get fulfilling results only by taking consistent action toward achieving your goals based on what you’ve learned from the information you’ve collected.

You may also be wasting your time and money by acquiring and participating in things that have nothing to do with, and even go against you having what you really want. (Example: investing in a new side hustle instead of completing your business launch.)

Have you ever allowed a month to go by where you indulge every food craving you had and did not exercise regularly, even though your deepest desire is to achieve and maintain a healthy body weight and lifestyle? Have you ever gone out and bought some expensive new technology you don’t really need or can’t really afford when what you truly desire is to feel successful and experience financial freedom?

If this sounds like you then you know what it’s like to be running on the hamster wheel of short term gain, in the form of immediate gratification, leading you to long term pain because your life experiences don’t match up with what you really want.

It’s very important to realize that spending your time or money on things that give you immediate gratification but have nothing to do with your goals and values will always leave you feeling empty. Completely and totally empty and looking for the next burst of short-term gratification.

Instead of wasting your time and money, why not invest in yourself in a way that will accelerate your personal and professional development? Working with a coach on an ongoing basis is the most time and cost-effective investment you can make in yourself and your quality of life.

Your coach can teach you how to make the most of what you’ve got and how to do more with less. Your coach will hold you accountable for taking consistent purposeful action towards achieving your goals.

By working with a coach, you will get crystal clear on what you really want, why you want it and how to get it. Having clarity takes the guesswork out of things. That way, you will be able to evaluate all future investment opportunities, and by that I mean any and all opportunities for you to spend your time or money, according to the coach’s ability to support you in fulfilling your purpose, your vision, your values and your goals.

The Second Biggest Mistake – Waiting for a “good” time to make a change or go after the things you really want in life.

Guess what, there is no good time. Life will always be busy. There will always be family and business obligations to attend to, errands to run, chores to do, podcasts and reels to watch and people and projects that want your time, energy and money. Your life will always be busy and it will always get in the way of what you really want, if you let it.

Wondering what you can do about it? You can focus on the simple truth. Today. Stop kidding yourself that the perfect time is just around the corner or some time in the future at some unspecified date. Instead, decide to connect with a professional who can teach you how to make the most of every moment starting right now.

Your coach will hold you accountable while keeping you focused and on track to achieving your goals no matter what life throws at you.

The Biggest Mistake – Telling yourself you can’t afford a coach.

The truth is that you can’t afford not to have one. Coaches are highly in demand these days because coaching has proven itself to be an extremely effective method for facilitating personal and professional development and fulfillment.

The word is out everywhere, it’s on social media, it’s in corporations and it’s in solid and thriving communities. The word is out that coaching makes sense and it really works. In studies that have been done on the impact of coaching, the results have consistently shown a return on investment of more than 100%.

Coaching clients from all walks and areas of life consistently report that it is the best money they ever spent because their investment in an ongoing coaching partnership enables them to achieve their goals. What’s even better is coaching enables them to achieve their goals quicker, easier and with better results. Now think about that for a moment. Think about what that means for you. Anything you want is available to you quicker, easier and with better results through the vehicle of coaching.

If you are still unsure, consider this, it’s not enough for you to say you want things to be different. Just wanting something doesn’t make it so. You must make a decision and then take purposeful action toward what you want. When you put your money where your mouth is and invest in a coaching program you demonstrate your commitment to achieving the thing that you want and at the same time you cut yourself off from any possibility other than total success. Some coaches like myself have affordable payment plans for their coaching programs and would be happy to discuss options with you.

Oh! One more thing before I go. In the month of May, I will be running a special promotion for my new 12 week transformational coaching program. 25 slots. 50% off. I will be providing more information on that in the coming weeks, but feel free to reach out to me if that’s something you’re interested in.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

The Art of Achievement

Hey Boo!

Ever wondered how some people have everything that they dream of, but for the vast majority it just remains a dream? Here are some tips on how to help turn your dreams into reality. Fortunately, it’s not a question of genetics or luck; it’s down to the thinking strategies that we use.

Step One: Understanding What is Important to You

Knowing what matters most to you is the first and most vital step toward achievement. Without the understanding of what’s important to you, you’re just spinning wheels. Take a moment to think about what really is important to you. In fact, take out a pen and paper and write it down. What are your priorities? What are you passionate about? What are your values and how do they impact what your goals are? Do your goals and your values align?

If we have a greater understanding of our values, craft our goals in line with them, and address some of the other key areas listed here, we are rewarded with the energy and motivation to make them happen – with ease.

Now, having considered that, what goals do you have listed that coincide with your values? Take those goals and move on to step two.

Step Two: Optimize the Use of Your Time

The first step in optimizing the use of our time is understanding what’s important. Since we’ve done that in step one, we will now move on to step two which is distinguishing the importance of our activities.

To optimize the use of your time so that you can achieve your goals and earn the life you want you must spend time doing things that bring you closer to achievement. Take a moment to write down the steps that are necessary to accomplish the goal that you wrote down in step one. If you’re not quite sure what the next steps are, here are some questions to get you brainstorming:

Does your goal have a specific location? If so, how will you travel there?

Does your goal require certifications, degrees, licenses, funding? If so, how will you go about acquiring these things?

Does your goal have a certain time frame? If so, how can you break down the tasks in a way that makes the goal achievable within your time frame?

Once you’ve written down the steps you need to take to achieve your goal, dedicate a consistent amount of time doing things that bring you closer to achieving your desires. For example, if your goal is to lose 30 lbs in 3 months then you may aim to lose 10 lbs each month. Perhaps your steps would be to exercise a certain amount of times per week and eat a certain amount of calories per day. Optimizing the use of your time in this case may be you choosing to do a 30 minute workout instead of watching an episode of your favorite show.

What optimizing the use of your time, ask yourself this question- Are my current actions conducive to the goal I want to accomplish, or the person that I’m meant to be?

*Disclaimer: this is in no way a suggestion that you become a robotic worker-drone who never has fun and is focused on goals 24 hours a day. This is simply to state that consistent steps should be taken, and that sacrificing a momentarily enjoyable experience to invest in more lasting joy and fulfillment is heavenly encouraged.

To optimize the use of your time, it may be helpful to place the steps on a calendar so that you can schedule your tasks.

Step Three: Start with What You have Now, with the End in Mind

Having both established goals that are in line with your values and optimized your time, you now need to get started. It’s important that the start is made with the goal in mind and with a degree of realism on the resources that are available now. Accept the flaws and errors that may occur and understand that you don’t have to be perfect to start. I repeat- do not expect perfection or uber-success at your first effort.

It’s important not to be delusional on this step. Delusion is the result of setting off without a realistic view of what the present situation is or how challenging the task may actually be. And Delusion soon turns to disappointment which in turn turns to frustration and ultimately little or no significant progress. At the end of the day we only have 3 resources: Physical and mental energy, time and money. It’s key that we learn how to make optimal use of these resources.

Step Four: Meeting Challenges

The first three steps should have you well on your way to goal achievement, but no amount of planning is going to account for every eventuality. Sometimes there are unplanned events and occurrences beyond your control. Many people consider these unplanned events to be problems that prevent progress and give up at that point. But people that achieve are not put off by these events and are more energized by the richness of the opportunities that are enveloped in these events. An unforeseen event can be an opportunity for growth and improvement, or even a detour leading you to a greater outcome than you expected. With the right mindset the journey to achievement can be viewed as one opportunity after another to reinforce the ability to succeed.

Consider This: How You Use Your Imagination

All human beings are blessed with incredibly powerful imaginations. However, many imagine outcomes of the future that are not going to be to their advantage. Imagining negative outcomes leads to worry, stress and fear and drains our energy and motivation. Imagining a positive outcome of the future releases more of the energy and motivation that we need to succeed at our goals. Fortunately, the structure that we use in our minds is the same for both negative and positive imaginations. And with the right know-how you can use your fear to generate excitement and anticipation.

Forming Your Goals Well

When forming your goals it is essential to consider a number of factors; a compelling view of how things will be when the goal is achieved is as important as a clear understanding of what we will lose when we it’s achieved. Many times, the likely loss prevents us from achieving what we want because we have not adapted our thinking around the loss. A prime example of this is giving up smoking – many people fail to give up because having a cigarette provides them with a valuable 5-minute break. When the break is factored into the future along with the goal the chances of success are considerably increased. Although the extra time away from your workstation may seem like quite the reward, consider the health risks and dangers associated with smoking and weigh them against the benefits. When forming your goals it is important that the benefits of accomplishing the goal are clearly understood- and that they outweigh the benefits of not accomplishing the goal. (In this case the extra breaks and stress relief.)

Believe That it is Possible For You

Many people hold negative beliefs about whether the goal is achievable, whether they will ever achieve it and even whether it is really for them. It is important to overcome these beliefs or sabotage will continuously result. Fortunately, our beliefs can be changed as we are not born with limiting beliefs, and they don’t have to be accepted as your reality. As long as you set goals that align with your values, optimize the use of your time by taking consistent steps forward, and believe in yourself emphatically- you can achieve your goals.

What goal are you crushing next? I know you can do it!

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

The A’s of Success: Authenticity & Alignment

Hey Boo!

Have you ever felt as if you are beating your head against a wall? You try time and time again to achieve a goal, but instead you fall short- struggling rather than moving forward and achieving your goals with grace and ease.

You are not alone. The struggle to move from what we don’t want to what we do want is, unfortunately, a fundamental struggle for many individuals. Believe it or not, it is very common for people to struggle against what they want and to actively limit their good. In order to have what you want, you must be willing to end the struggle and move into action. Your success is dependent on your ability to reach your goals and achieve.

The easiest way to move from “stuck” into action without struggle is to be authentic and to be in alignment with your authenticity. Authenticity means that you are connected to your core and that your desires are a true reflection of your inner self and soul.

Alignment means that your entire being is in agreement with the goal you want to achieve.

For example, you come home from work one evening and you are very tired. But this evening is your work-out night. You sit on the couch and actually have to talk yourself into getting into your gym clothes and heading to the gym. What you did in convincing part of yourself to go to the gym when it really wanted to rest on the couch is called alignment. You got yourself into alignment with the idea and intention of going to the gym no matter how tired a part of you felt because you know that working out is for your greater good.

To end struggle and successfully achieve goals, all parts of you must work together for manifestation. That means all bodies, mental, physical, emotional and spiritual, must be in agreement concerning a goal. There can be no doubts, limiting beliefs or attachments. The following describes a process you can use to do an authenticity check concerning your goals and bring yourself into alignment with your goals.

Step One: Sit quietly – create a peaceful, serene and nurturing space for yourself. It must be a space where you feel comfortable and secure. Spend several minutes in quiet and inner reflection upon your goal. Have paper and pen handy.

Step Two: The Authenticity Check: Ask within if this goal is the appropriate goal for you to achieve at this time. If the answer is yes, skip to the next step. If the answer is no, ask what a more appropriate goal would be for you right now.

By asking this question, you move from being ruled by the needs of the mind (survival issues) and begin to access the soul within. You leave behind the petty desires of the ego and move into realizing the desires of the soul. As a result, your goals become truer and more authentic.

Write down the response you receive. If you need additional clarity concerning the response, ask for it. Keep asking within until you feel complete.

Step Three: Alignment. Once you have a defined and authentic goal, it is time to create alignment. Remain in your space of quiet and comfort; ask to speak to your mental body. (You will repeat step Three with each of the bodies) Ask your mental body if it is willing to be in alignment with your goal. The purpose of this question is to uncover any blocks or limitations that reside in the mental body concerning the goal. If the answer is yes, proceed to the next body: physical, spiritual and emotional.

If the answer is no, simply begin a conversation with this part of you. Some questions to begin with are: Why are you not willing to be in alignment with this goal? What would it take for you to be in alignment with this goal? When a part is not willing to be in alignment with an authentic goal, the cause may be fear or insecurity. Usually the situation is remedied by helping the part understand that it is taken care of, that it is safe and that it has nothing to fear. Simply, have a conversation with the part and inform it of the truth. Once you receive the willingness of all the bodies, remember to thank them for supporting the manifestation of this authentic goal. Affirm your alignment with this goal and your intention to manifest it.

By completing this process, you have created an authentic goal and brought yourself into full alignment with this goal. You can now move forward without struggle because all blocks have been removed. Success shall be yours.

Well Boo, I hope that this blog was useful to you. Let me know your thoughts on it, and if you need a bit more help with goal setting and focus feel free to reach out and we can work together to see what possible steps you can take next. My coaching program can help you deprogram limiting thoughts and beliefs and redirect your focus and energy to a more desired outcome.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep glowing…

How to Master the Art of Gratitude to Achieve Success.

Hey Boo!

Gratitude.

I’m sure you have heard this word a million times before and you know that it simply means a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Gratitude may seem like an abstract or pointless concept to some, but the act of showing gratitude is actually rather simple and effective to implement. Knowing the power and potential of showing gratitude and subsequently applying it accordingly can be the single most decisive factor in ensuring better degrees of success for yourself.

Let’s dwell a little on exactly what gratitude can do for you and subsequently your success. Gratitude instills a positive feeling in you and the people you show it to. It alters your perspective of negative feelings, thoughts, or beliefs you may have of yourself or others by alerting these feelings, thoughts and beliefs to the things you are grateful for. Gratitude raises your awareness and focus and it can inspire you to achieve better for yourself and the people around you.

Although there are numerous other benefits to showing authentic gratitude, there are many people who neglect to shower themselves or the people around them with it. Instead, they put themselves and others down through criticism and condemnation.

Quick Gratitude Check

Answer the questions below to boost your level of gratitude:

Are there obstacles that are holding you back from showing gratitude to yourself and to others? If so, write them down.

How can you overcome these obstacles?

How actions can you take to unleash an onslaught of gratitude to yourself and to others?

The ‘obstacles’ mentioned above are typically negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs that you may possess that are not only hindering you from showing gratitude but they are likely also hindering you from success.

I use a process to overcome negative thoughts and feelings that I’ll refer to as Question, Debunk, Reaffirm. (I don’t know if it has an official name and I’m not trying to take credit for creating it. I may have read it in a CBT workbook. But it works!) First, I question the validity of the negative thought. Then I debunk the myth or limiting belief responsible for that thought. Next, I reaffirm with a positive new belief to replace the negative one. Questioning the validity (and significance) of your negative thoughts and feelings instead of giving way to them often cause us to realize that we may have been getting all worked up for nothing. Overcoming mental obstacles is a very important topic, however, the chief aim of this blog is to show you the importance of showing gratitude and how you can go about doing it. As such, I will not touch in depth about how to overcome these negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs. But if you would like to find out more, please reach out to me directly. Follow Glow with Mimi on Facebook or join the Resilient Brave Beings private Facebook group.

Now that you are clearer about the benefits of gratitude, let’s first talk about how you can start showing gratitude to yourself. To start doing this, you must first be appreciative of all your achievements – big or small – that you have experienced so far in your life. Ask yourself: when was the last time you actually rewarded yourself for those achievements? If you have constantly been doing so, then good for you and keep it up. If not, then it’s about time you start indulging or pampering yourself with some simple or extravagant (whichever is appropriate) rewards for all your past achievements and future ones.

Next be appreciative of the things you have – your job, home, wealth, health, family, food and surroundings. I know it can be rather impossible to directly show gratitude to these things but no worries. You can list these things in a notebook or journal, and maybe even write down thank you notes for item to express your gratitude. Keep referring to this list when you’re feeling sad or depressed and you can instantly feel a surge of happiness or positive emotions.

So… we’ve covered how you can show gratitude to yourself and the things around you. Now I will touch on how you can show gratitude to the people around you. There are many ways you can express your gratitude to the people around you but I will only list the few I feel are important and simple to perform. Feel free to add your own and implement them as you see fit.

Instead of putting down, insulting and complaining about the people around or working under you, try complementing, praising and appreciating them for all they have done for your well-being and your achievements. By doing this, you gain their respect and trust and they are more likely to continually assist you to achieve better.

Make a thank you list of all the people you are grateful for and constantly refer to this list to give yourself a better and greater feeling.

Give a simple verbal thank you, note of appreciation or even a thank you e-mail to express your gratitude to the people who have assisted you in achievements.

Shower the people you are grateful for with small or big cards, gifts, presents or rewards to clearly show them how much you appreciate them.

Or simply provide the people around you with gifts that cannot be bought with cash like your valuable time, your sacrifice or something that is of utmost importance to you.

Gratitude. Always bear in mind that when you show gratitude to yourself, the things and the people around you, you will definitely hold the key to unlocking your personal growth and ultimately your success.

That’s all I have for you until next Thursday. In the meantime, be authentic, be grateful, and always- keep Glowing…

Personal Development Power Tips

Hello Beautiful Soul!

This week, I want to provide some tips on one of the everlasting goals in life- personal development. Personal Development, at its basis, is anything that allows us to grow into an ordered life that is of our choosing. This is one of the most cherished goals among self-improvement practitioners. There are some excellent methods available for achieving it. Personal development may seem a bit overwhelming at times, so here are a few hints and tips to get you started.

Clean the clutter from your life

There is an excellent saying in the personal development field, “a tidy desk is a tidy mind”. Oftentimes, your outer environment is a reflection of the way you think and feel. Is your living or work space always cluttered? It’s important that you start to order your environment to reflect the ordered life you are building. Clear away unnecessary clutter from your surroundings. This may sound like a meaningless task, but you are sending a very clear message to your subconscious mind that you intend to get organized. When you begin to organize your living and work environment it allows you to develop the basic skills needed for organizing your life. This can be achieved through goals. You should structure your goals in such a way that each one builds on the other and ensure that they are not in opposition to one another.

Don’t have your goal too ‘set in stone’

A major factor in the non-attainment of goals is the inability to restructure plans and change direction when circumstances dictate these should be done. Remain flexible.

Don’t focus on the mistakes

There’s absolutely no need to agonize over every little imperfect detail. Simply analyze them and learn the lesson they are trying to teach you. By staying focused on your failures, problems or toils you are creating more of them or at least keeping them in your experience. Focus on the solutions or at least focus on the fact “your still in the game”. Consider any mistakes you’ve made as life lessons. Apply what you have learned from them and use them as references (of what not to do) in the future.

Make sure you follow through on your plans

Action and persistence can accomplish things that nothing else can. A plan without action is simply a dream that will never come true. To see success we must believe in our dream, form a plan, take action, and then remain diligent in performing those tasks until we see the result we desire.

Have you ever given up on a dream and regretted it? Did you ever wonder just how close you were to accomplishing your goal before you quit? Did you accept temporary lack of motivation as a ‘sign’ that you should give up?

Lack of motivation isn’t necessarily a sign to give up on your goal. Some people get excited and motivated at the start of a venture but find their enthusiasm waning as time goes on. If you’re one of those people, be sure to check in with yourself and discover if you’re unmotivated due to natural ebb and flow, (you’re not going to feel excitement all the time and that’s okay) or if your lack of motivation is truly lack of desire. Understand that your goal may take some time and effort to achieve and continue forward with persistence. Those who persist, especially in times like these, are those who ALWAYS win!

Until next time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

T.I.M.E.

Some tips to manage your most precious resource.

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Today we are going to talk about one of the most precious resources in existence- time.

You have to give some to get some. The old adage is usually applied to money, but it is also true of time.

We are always pressed for time or seem to owe time to others, from our bosses to our families. Time is such a valuable commodity so we need to make sure that we use it carefully. Careful use of our time means one thing — time management.

The sad truth is that most of us who are really in need of time management rarely utilize it. However, spending time on this simple four-step plan named “TIME” can really make a difference in your day, your life, and your time!

T Is For Taking Time To Plan

Every minute spent on planning and organizing will save at least that amount of time when you implement your plan. Shopping trips taken without a list often result in wasted time, errands run without prior planning often mean wasted time, and tasks not properly organized often mean wasted time. We all know this is true and yet we still rush forward in our haste to get something done. Take time to plan and you will be more efficient.

I Is For Involving Others

Whether at work or at home, involving other crucial stake-holders in your planning and prioritizing can help you attend to the essentials and share the work. Others may have good ideas to help you achieve your goals and others may well spark even more ideas from you. Sometimes, simply talking things over with a sympathetic audience can help you think more clearly. Don’t forget to give others a share in the work as well as the planning.

M Is For Meditation

No matter how busy your life or hectic your schedule is, you must take time to reflect on your goals and dreams. Taking a few moments to clear your mind, focus your energy, and rebuild your strength can revitalize you and help you accomplish more when you swing back into action.

Allowing yourself this down time may well give you the opportunity to prioritize and brainstorm so you can be even more productive than before. Even if you don’t have brainstorms from taking this time out, it will definitely give you an energy boost.

E Is For Evaluation

It is important for you to regularly evaluate your priorities and goals. Perhaps you have accomplished tasks that can now be permanently crossed off your list or can be set aside until a later date. Perhaps you have achieved certain goals resulting in a change of other priorities. Perhaps you simply have learned something along the way that caused a number of shifts in your priorities and goals.

Evaluation can also give you a sense of accomplishment if you look back on what you have achieved and the goals you have reached.

Even if taking TIME for time management can seem wasteful, it is actually a process that pays for itself time and time again. Time management may cost you time for planning and organization but in the end it helps you gain time through efficiency and prioritization. The simple truth is that time management saves you time and can alleviate some of your stress.

Time management is important for us all, but it is especially important for people who have experienced narcissistic abuse and may be suffering from anxiety or cognitive issues such as brain fog or short term memory loss.

I do hope that these time management tips are useful to you. Please feel free to comment any additional tips you may have 😊

Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

Breaking Agreements

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I was saying my affirmations early one morning (I couldn’t sleep) and I came across one of the affirmations that I’d created based on the book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is a great book. If you haven’t read it, I think you should.

The affirmation that I was referring to is ‘I break all agreements that do not resonate with my calling or soul purpose.’ An agreement is a limiting belief that you have accepted as the truth. These agreements in many cases, prevent us from accomplishing our dreams and deepest desires. (For Example: I really want to be a singer, but I only have a one in a billion chance.)

An agreement can be made by accepting negative thoughts or statements as the truth. They could be your own negative thoughts based on unpleasurable experiences, or statements made by others. When these agreements are made, they continue to work against us subconsciously until they are broken. And as we go through life we pick up more and more agreements. All of these agreements that we collect as we go through life- from parents, teachers, coaches, classmates, relatives, churches, etc. The culmination of agreements over time can be quite paralyzing. If you’d like to break these agreements, follow these steps now!

Identify The Agreement

Whether the agreement is ‘I’ve always been clumsy’ because you remember falling down when you were four, or ‘you’ve never been as smart as the other kids’ from teachers or parents, this agreement can be broken. Ask yourself what limiting beliefs or agreements have your made that limit your success or hinder your happiness.

Once you’ve identified the agreement (or agreements) that you’ve accepted, go back in your mind to the route of it all. Get as close as you can to the origin of this feeling or agreement. Once you’ve found the earliest memory of this agreement, go to the next step.

Break it Down

When breaking down an agreement, be as thorough and as honest as you can.

Ask yourself questions like:

*Is there any truth to this agreement? (Per our example) Are you really clumsy? Or were you distracted by something that caused you to lose your balance and fall?

*Is this agreement still relevant? Sometimes we carry complexes and agreements that we created during childhood. (For example: developing a fear of public speaking because you had a lisp when you were eight years old.)

In most cases, the agreement is untrue. In the cases where there is truth to the agreement, there is surely a solution to it. Break down the situation in your mind and realize that there is always room for growth and you are not bound by your past or by the beliefs of others.

If you asked yourself the above questions, and feel that there may be some validity to the agreements that you wish to break, ask yourself this question:

Can the situation be remedied?

Is it possible that you could be more careful in the future and thus, ‘not be clumsy’ anymore? Look to see if there are classes that you can take, or research that you could do to educate yourself about the limiting belief/agreement that you’ve made.

Journal and Affirm

Once you’ve identified the agreement and applied the applicable steps, journal about it. Write as much as you need to about the agreement. What it is, how it makes you feel, whether or not it’s valid, and the steps that you are taking to improve yourself.

Break the Agreement by saying aloud: “I break the agreement of____________________________ . This no longer has any influence over my life.” Say the affirmation as often as you need, so that you believe it and program your mind to release that harmful belief.

You can also research or create affirmations to encourage new agreements that you’d like to place in your life instead.

Never underestimate the power of your mind! You can do anything you set your mind to do!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls

10 Tips for Effective Time Management

Time Management

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Have you ever thought to yourself that there aren’t enough hours in the day, or felt overwhelmed at the tasks facing you? I know I absolutely have. And if you have as well, this blog can help you!

Clarify your goals and strategy

Be very clear about your aims and ambitions, both short and long term. Write them down. Once you know what you really want to achieve (and why) it’s easier to make decisions about what needs to be done, and to plan accordingly.

Focus on your top priorities

You’ll be more productive and profitable if you identify and focus on the areas most important to your business. Work on the fundamentals first. The Latin word ‘fundamentum’ means foundation – so take action, build strong foundations and the rest should follow.

Schedule time

Literally write an appointment in your work planner (you do have one of those, don’t you?) to set aside a realistic block of time for your priority actions. This reduces anxiety over not having enough time and keeps you focused.

Say no!

Consider Jim Rohn’s suggestion. “Learn how to say no. Don’t let your mouth overload your back.” Always check your schedule before committing to anything new. Don’t allow others to divert you from your objectives.

Create supportive systems

This includes systems for filing, management information and communication. Creating a system for the functions that you repeat most often enable you to complete the task more quickly and efficiently with practice. Create that system and then practice it!

Take a reality check

Will your current activity have a positive outcome, or are you doing it to avoid something else? Ask yourself – will doing this take me towards my goal? As Peter F Drucker observed “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

Delegate!

It’s tempting to do something yourself when you think you can do it faster and better. But consider the long term – delegation now will save time in the future, and if done appropriately can motivate your staff, boost their confidence, and help them develop their skills.

Repeat your success

Remember the last time you accomplished something that you major, or something that you may have doubted yourself about. What strategies and techniques did you employ that made you so effective and focused? Can you repeat them? Alternatively, imagine you are going away tomorrow, and work through today accordingly.

Balance your life

Formally schedule personal activities too, so you make time for family, friends, your health and fun because having a balanced life reduces stress and increases energy levels. Time management is really about life management!

End the day

At the end of the working day, tidy your work area, make notes about what needs to be done tomorrow, and prioritize those tasks. Shift your focus from what you didn’t finish today, to what you did accomplish. Now, put down that list, take a few deep breaths and leave those responsibilities at your work station. Part of good time management is knowing and appreciating each part of the day for the part it plays. Rest is just as important as productivity, so be sure to manage your resting time as well.

I do hope that these tips are useful to you. Please feel free to share your thoughts!

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Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls!