How to Stop Seeking Validation and Start Valuing Yourself

Hey Boo!

There’s something quietly powerful about choosing yourself- not out of ego, but out of remembrance. For so long, many of us were taught to earn love by being agreeable, accommodating, or endlessly understanding. We learned to shrink to fit. But eventually, that constant bending leaves us disconnected from our own reflection.

Lately, as I prepare to open my heart again- to date, to love, to be seen- I’ve realized how essential it is to return to myself first. Not to prove that I’m healed, but to remember that my worth was never broken to begin with.

The Trap of Seeking Validation

Validation isn’t always obvious

Sometimes it’s the small things- checking your phone to see if they texted back, overexplaining to avoid being misunderstood, or agreeing when your heart quietly says no. It’s the part of us that asks, “Am I enough?” and waits for someone else to answer.

But the truth is, external validation is nothing more than a quick fix for the ego. It gives a brief rush of worthiness before it fades, leaving us hungry again. Real nourishment comes from within- from learning to validate your own emotions, choices, and needs before anyone else does.

Reclaiming Your Worth

When you start valuing yourself, the entire energy of your world shifts.

You speak differently.

You walk differently.

You choose differently.

You stop chasing closure and start protecting your peace. You stop performing for love and start standing in your truth. And the more you honor your worth, the more life- and love – rises to meet it.

Here’s what that looks like in practice:

Saying no without guilt.

Walking away from connections that require you to shrink.

Celebrating your progress even when no one else notices.

Taking time to rest, recharge, and realign before you re-engage.

Every act of self-respect reinforces your worth like a sacred affirmation.

Love, But From Wholeness

As I step back into dating, I’ve made a quiet promise to myself. I will no longer look for someone to make me feel chosen- I already am. I will not wait for validation- I radiate it from within. And I will remember that love is meant to add to my glow, not define it.

When you show up knowing your value, you magnetize people who see you clearly. You no longer chase energy- you attract your energetic match. You no longer beg to be understood- you speak your truth and trust it will land where it’s meant to.

A Gentle Reminder

You are not hard to love- you were just taught to love others more than yourself. You are not behind; you’re right on time for your own becoming. And you are not too much- you’re exactly enough for the version of love that’s ready for you now. So, before you reach for someone else’s approval, place your hand on your heart and whisper-

“I remember who I am. And that is enough.”

Want to go deeper? Each week I share exclusive journaling prompts with my subscribers- gentle guidance to help you put these insights into practice and reset your mindset in real time. Subscribe to the Inner Glow Blog and give yourself the gift of reflection, clarity, and calm.

Until next time Boo, keep Glowing…

What it Really Means to Glow Up Your Mindset

Hey Boo!

If you’re like most people, when you hear “glow up” you think of outer changes like new clothes, hair, makeup, or weight loss. While those things are wonderful and can be empowering, the real glow up begins on the inside. Your mindset shapes how you see yourself, how you move through challenges, and how much light you allow yourself to shine into the world.

A mindset glow up isn’t about becoming someone new-it’s about uncovering the radiant version of you that’s been there all along.

Why Your Mindset Matters

Your mindset is the lens through which you view your life. When it’s clouded with self-doubt, limiting beliefs, or fear, everything feels heavier. But when you begin to shift toward self-belief, possibility, and trust, life feels lighter and more aligned. Suddenly,opportunities that once felt out of reach begin flowing your way.

3 Ways to Glow Up Your Mindset

Release Old Beliefs

Think of old limiting thoughts as outdated clothes- they may have served you once, but they no longer fit who you are becoming. Letting them go creates space for new, empowering beliefs to take their place.

Try this: Write down one belief that no longer serves you, then reframe it into an empowering truth. For example, the limiting belief I’m not good enough can be reframed to I am more than capable and worthy of everything I desire.

Embody Your Glowed-Up Self

Manifestation works when you align with the version of yourself who already has what you want. That means showing up with confidence, speaking kindly to yourself, and making choices as if your desires are already reality.

Ask Yourself: “What would the glowed-up version of me believe, say, or do in this moment?” And then do exactly that.

Practice Daily Glow Rituals

Consistency is key. Small daily rituals- like affirmations, journaling, or mindful breathing-keep your energy aligned with your intentions. Over time, these little practices compound into major shifts in mindset and manifestation.

You can start the mindset shift by saying an affirmation every morning while taking a deep breath. It could be something simple like: “I radiate confidence, love, and abundance.”

The Glow-Up Isn’t About Perfection

Remember: a mindset glow-up doesn’t happen overnight, and it isn’t about being perfect. It’s about progress. It’s about catching yourself in moments of self-doubt and choosing to redirect yourself toward self-belief. It’s about celebrating small wins, trusting the process, and glowing brighter each day.

Never forget- your glow isn’t something that you need to earn, it’s already within you. By upgrading your mindset and aligning your energy, you allow your inner light to shine more powerfully. That’s the kind of glow that no one can take away.

Til next time Boo

P.S. Keep Glowing…

5 Ways to Reclaim Your Power After Feeling Defeated.

Hey Boo!

There comes a moment- after the heartbreak, the burnout, the betrayal, when you realize that you want your power back.

Your Power. Not the kind of power that dominates or controls. But the quiet, steady, sacred kind. The power to choose, to protect your peace, to speak your truth, and to live in full alignment with who you truly are.

If you’ve ever felt like life has stomped the fire out of you, I want you to know something:

Your power was never gone. It was just waiting for you to remember it.

Here are five ways to begin that journey:

Start with Self Forgiveness

You are not weak for giving others the benefit of the doubt. Or for staying too long. Or for dimming your light in hopes of peace. Forgiveness is how you stop abandoning yourself.

I carried a lot of shame from my marriage because of the things that I allowed him to do- the things that I stayed through. The things I swept under the rug. Once I let go of the past and forgave myself for being who I thought I needed to be at the time, I was able to begin healing and gaining my power back.

Journaling Prompt

What do I need to forgive myself for in order to move forward with grace?

Speak the Truth You Were Silenced from Saying

Reclaiming your power means using your voice even if it shakes. You don’t need to shout. You just need to honor your truth out loud. Despite how others may feel, you have the right to speak your truth. It’s not about being messy, it’s about being authentic.

Affirmation:

My voice matters. My truth is valid.

Reinforce Sacred Boundaries

Boundaries are not walls; they are bridges back to yourself. When you say no to what drains you, you say yes to your power. Your energy is sacred. Use it for things that matter to you- things you prioritize. Own your power with reinforced boundaries.

Glow Tip:

Notice where resentment builds. That’s usually a sign of a boundary needing to be set or strengthened.

Take Small Aligned Actions

Power doesn’t always roar. Sometimes power is choosing to rest when you’d normally push. Power could be going back to school, starting your business, or saying ‘yes’ to a new opportunity. Sometimes power is finally saying, I’m not doing this anymore.

Ask Yourself: What is one small, bold step I can take this week that aligns with who I really am?

Affirm Who You Are-Daily

Your inner dialogue is the soil where power either blooms or withers. Speak life into yourself on purpose.

Try this Affirmation- I reclaim every piece of me I once abandoned to survive. I am whole. I am home.

You don’t need to become someone else to reclaim your power. You just need to return to you. Piece by piece. Day by day. The most powerful version of you is the one that feels like truth.

Until next time Boo, keep Glowing…

Rest Isn’t Lazy- It’s Sacred.

Hey Boo!

There was a time in my life when I didn’t believe I had the right to rest. I equated rest with laziness- a luxury I hadn’t earned yet. I thought if I just push harder, worked longer, or kept showing up no matter how I felt…maybe I’d feel secure. Maybe I’d be “enough.”

A few years ago, while caring for my mother, I lost my job. Out of fear and survival, I poured myself into building my coaching business. I woke up every morning at 5 a.m. and would often work 13-hour days. I told myself if I didn’t hit certain milestones, I didn’t deserve a break. No sleep. No pause. Just pressure.

But then, life forced me to stop. My mother’s health declined rapidly, and the stress of everything began to take its toll. I ended up having a lupus flare- my body shutting down from the weight I had been carrying in silence.

I had no choice but to rest.

And it was in that sacred stillness-not the hustle- that I began to heal.

I found clarity.

I started breathing again.

I began to understand that rest wasn’t weakness. It was wisdom.

Rest isn’t something we earn. It’s something we are entitled to.

Our bodies, our minds, our hearts- they aren’t machines. They whisper to us long before they scream. But we’ve been taught to ignore those whispers in the name of productivity, performance, and pressure.

If you’re in a season where everything feels heavy…

If you’re tired and you’re still telling yourself to “push through” …

If you’re afraid that resting means falling behind- please hear me:

You are not lazy. You are human. And your rest is sacred.

A Gentle Invitation

Ask Yourself:

What would it look like to rest on purpose today?

What could shift if I honored my body’s need to slow down- before it begs me too?

You don’t have to wait until burnout knocks you down to listen. You can choose peace now. Choose softness now. Choose yourself- gently, bravely, and without guilt.

You are worthy of rest, exactly as you are.

With Love,

Mimi

Discover Your Purpose in 3 Steps

Hey Boo!

Do you know what your purpose is in life?Life can feel pointless and perhaps even cruel when you haven’t found that thing that gives it meaning.

Determining what our purpose is in life can be one of the hardest questions that we as humans must try to answer. In this blog we will be going through a step-by-step process, exploring your feelings and options and by the end, you should have a fairly solid tool you can immediately employ in your life, to help give it a meaningful direction!

There are three steps to the process of discovering the purpose of your life:

Understanding the principle of choice
Creating your “underlying principle”
Aligning your life with this underlying principle

Understanding The Principle of Choice

Norman Vincent Peale has this to say about the power of choice. “The greatest power we have is the power of choice. It is an actual fact, that if you have been groping under unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous, instead. And, by effort, lift yourself into joy. If you tend to be fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have courage. The whole trend and the quality of anyone’s life is determined by the choices that are made”.

“Choosing” is the most important activity of your mind, because by making a choice, you are proclaiming your desires to your subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind gets to know your desires, it is going to do anything to manifest them in your life. The choices you make in your life become your goal. And, if you are sincere in pursuing them, there is no reason why you should not accomplish them.

Indecision, on the other hand, not only creates frustration and anxiety, but can also confuses the subconscious mind about what you want. But it is important that the choices you make are made by you, in accordance with your true desires, purposes and aptitude. A lot of us let others make choices for us or make our choices according to what we think is ‘correct’, even if that means going against our own wishes. What is right for someone else may not be right for you, and the way to know this is listening to what your heart says.

So, to begin with, make a list of things which interest you; things which you have always enjoyed, which make you feel better, which inspire you to press forward, no matter what obstacles you face. Do you like doing something creative, or something artistic? Do you enjoy nature? Do you like the sea? Do you enjoy helping others? Do you get pleasure out of making a difference in other people’s lives?

Whatever it is that interests you, write it down and answer these questions:

What thing do you love to do?

What is it that you love about this thing and why?

How could you do this for money, and make a living out of it?

Creating Your Underlying Principle

The next step is to examine the list you just made and find out if there is any recurring theme. Maybe, it is contribution that keeps coming up, or a desire to seek or give love, to feed the hungry, or help the elderly cope with old age. Whatever it is, try to identify the central theme of the things you love to do, and try to put it in a short and precise statement. This will be your ‘Mission Statement’. It may even be a quote by a famous person, or a philosophy that has influenced you. Of course, as you grow up, this statement could evolve, but its soul will remain the same. Now, write down your Mission Statement.

Aligning Your LIFE With Your Underlying Principle

The final step in this journey is to map your path to your ultimate purpose and to begin implementing changes that help to align your daily life with your underlying purpose. Take a moment to brainstorm on the little things that you can do right now to cultivate the energy and environment you want to be in. By making these little changes in your lifestyle, you will be able to begin living this principle out each and every day. It might take a few days, but by becoming aware and intentional of this underlying principle of your life, you will certainly start to feel the difference in your enthusiasm for life as a whole. If you realize that you love being amidst nature, plan out vacations and outings. Maybe an outing with your children or friends can be the start as you create even more ways to get into the environment that helps you thrive most. If you discover that you enjoy helping those in need, start to look for opportunities to volunteer in your community. On the other hand, you might even want to change your job, or start a new business that is more in line with your mission.

Whatever it is that you desire to do, know that it is in you to do- or else you wouldn’t have had the idea or desire in the first place.

So, there you have it! By following along with the steps outlined above, you will be on your way to finding and living out your purpose. And, as you go through this process, just remember, “You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.” – Steve Maraboli

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

3 Keys To Boosting Your Confidence

Hey Boo!

Since I’ve been on my healing journey, I’ve reflected a lot on the importance of confidence. Often, I find myself thinking, if I was more confident, I would’ve never let that fly! Or even, if I was more confident, I would’ve taken that opportunity. If I’m being honest, my low sense of self worth and lack of confidence have been my biggest obstacles personally and professionally. In the past I shrunk in social spaces and sought to blend in rather than take up space. No doubt, I’ve stifled my coaching business with my lack of confidence as well. For the first year, I felt like a complete fraud (imposter syndrome) and would rarely even mention my coaching services or abilities.

As I continue to heal and build, I have learned that the key to success is inner confidence and I want to increase that – both for myself and my clients. So let’s build our confidence together. Not just because it feels good, but because self-confidence also translates into other areas and creates healthier relationships, resilience, better work performance, and the courage to try new things. Here’s what I know so far:

Many strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior, and practical tips exist for improving your life and self-image, but none of them are worth anything without foundation. You know deep down who you are, and that is the foundation. It would be best to have a certain level of confidence to find that and show your true self – here are the three keys to absolute inner assurance.

1. Get To Know Your Values

A person must know and understand their values to feel genuinely confident inside. As part of who you are, your values are the building blocks, the foundations, and cornerstones of who you are. Whether it be beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement, or freedom, a value you hold most dear.

What causes you to feel angry, frustrated, demotivated, or deflated when encountering some people and situations? Of course, we think negatively when one or more of our values is denied, suppressed, or repressed since it diminishes a fundamental element of our identities. But, on the other hand, do you know those times when you’ve felt alive, unique, or thrilled? Those are the times when you honored your values. You need to get to a point where you are experiencing accurate alignment, like that, consistently.

Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. However, you can have absolute confidence in them because they’re there all the time, just waiting for you to notice and use them. When you get to know your values, you can start making choices and aligning your life around them. Talking with a coach or therapist to recognize and honor your values is the first step to seeing where change needs to occur. Taking this self-inventory will help you gain confidence in yourself and who you are.

2. Exercise Your Confidence muscle

You need to exercise your confidence to ensure that it does not shrink or waste away. Consider the case of someone who doesn’t take many risks, goes through their daily routines doing what has to be done and doing it well, but not expanding their horizons very much. Because something is too scary or because it’s not who you are, or you don’t want it, you might talk yourself out of doing it. It is that kind of person who lives within the boundaries of their knowledge and comfort. Taking a more negligible risk requires them to be less confident, and they become less satisfied as a result.

No matter how big or small, take risks to flex your confidence muscle. You may benefit from stretching yourself in an unfamiliar direction, from trying something new or trying it a bit differently. You much be open to possibilities around you and push yourself to learn, grow, and become more. You will develop more confidence the more relaxed you are to risk, opportunity, and possibility.

3. Watch What You Say To Yourself

We all talk to ourselves as we think about things. We say something like, “I could never do that” or “I will never succeed.” This type of inner talk can be pretty negative and self-sabotage our goals and find joy. Creating new mantras in our heads that are more positive takes time and consistency. Like establishing any new habits, it’s essential to be mindful of what we are doing and thinking to make an overall change. Replace your old mantras with one or two new and positive ones and add more until you develop a new mindset. The mantras should be personal to what you need; however, here are a few positive mantras to implement.

I am confident.
I am grateful for everything I have in my life.
I am intelligent and focused.
Today is a phenomenal day.
I am growing
I am learning
I overcome all obstacles
I am making the correct change

Life gets easier when you genuinely feel inner confidence. Inner confidence is a gift that plays out in so many ways. And best of all? It’s something you control. This list provides a few ways to start increasing your confidence.

Learning how to act confident can help you feel more satisfied in many cases. Additionally, it’s always helpful to have someone in your corner when making significant changes. Getting a coach can significantly help you achieve your goals and create the life you have always dreamed of.

Are there any topics you’d like me to cover? Let me know in the comments!

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

6 Questions to Ask Yourself When Pursuing Your Dream.

Hey Boo!

What’s your dream? Want to stop hoping and start making things happen? Write down your goals and use these questions to speed up delivery of your dream.

1. What’s your highest priority in this lifetime?

What’s most important for you to experience, explore or embrace in your life right now? Until you answer this question, your life goals will be off purpose. Unaligned with your inner passion, your intentions will lack the power to attract the people and situations necessary to become a reality.

Get tuned in to your true joy. What activities did you enjoy as a child? What are your hobbies now? When your goals are aligned with your soul, synchronicity kicks in to guide you exactly where you desire to go.

2. Is this your dream, or someone else’s?

Are your goals your own choice, or what others think you should strive for? Do you want to look back on your life in your old age and wish you had followed your passion? Will you regret having “played it safe?”

Is it selfish to go after your own dream? What joy can you give to others if you haven’t given it to yourself first?

3. Are you settling for less than you deserve?

Are you resigned to accepting less than your full share of love, health and success this lifetime? Have you compromised and sacrificed your dream?

Anything short of living your true passions will never make you happy.

4. What will you feel like when you reach your dream?

Personal passion fuels a vision. Dive into the thrill and exhilaration of the feeling of living your dream.

The Hawaiian Kahuna say, “Where your creative attention flows, so flows your life.”

5. What steps can you take today toward your dream?

Don’t defer your dream. Set up supports and systems around you to instantly translate your intentions into action. Jump on every opportunity that is in line with your purpose and vision.

Are there smaller projects that lead to your larger dream? If the dream is to run a marathon, train for a local fun-run first. And find a way to measure your progress. Track those little wins-by writing in a journal or telling a friend.

6. Are you telling yourself: “I can’t have my dream?”

Most people don’t believe they can live their dream. Either their belief system has them believing they can’t make a living doing what they love, or they feel they don’t deserve their dream. To avoid the pain of feeling they can’t have their dream, people often keep their dream so buried they can’t remember they ever had a dream.

Everyone has a dream! And everyone is destined to fulfill that purpose. Why wait?

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

Make it Happen!

Hey Boo!

How is your life and/or your business doing? Is it stagnating, boring, going nowhere? Have you become obsessed with meeting those loan repayments or trying to just survive until the next fistful of money comes in? Are you having trouble maintaining your positive expectancy about life and/or business?

The way to live satisfying lives is to simply dream up the things that we want to do and then make them happen. A simple statement but so few of us can put it into practice! You can put it into practice if you take these steps. First, find yourself a quiet, comfortable location where you will be free from disturbances. Ensure that you have paper and pen handy as you will need to write some things down.

Brainstorm Ideas

For the next ten to fifteen minutes, write down all the things you’d like to do. A few rules for this exercise are in order- don’t evaluate as you write! For example, if you’d like to go overseas on vacation for twelve months – don’t stop and think whether you can afford it. Just write it down. Evaluation can occur later. At this stage, write down all the things that you’d like to do assuming there was nothing that you couldn’t do.

Prioritize Ideas

When you have finished brainstorming, you will have a list of the things you would like to do. Your next step is to review your list and sort it into priority order. Again, do not evaluate any of these items while you are ranking them. Number the items from things you want most to least.

Evaluation

Now, look at the top three items on your list and ask yourself the question: “What is stopping me from doing these things? It will help to clarify things if you write down these reasons. For example, if your number one choice is to go overseas for twelve months, your reasons for not being able to do so could be: can’t afford it, can’t leave my business unattended, or afraid I won’t like it when I get there.

Create an Action Plan

Your final step in this process is to put your plan into action – and do it now! Don’t wait for a more opportune time – the best time is always NOW!

However, don’t let your big plans stop you from doing some of your smaller plans now. Pick a couple of activities you can do within the next month that won’t cost you money. DO THEM! You will feel like a different person for having done so.

Until Next Time, Beautiful Soul keep Glowing…

The Downward Spiral of Self-Sabotage

Hey Boo!

This week, we are talking about self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is the act of consciously or subconsciously undermining one’s own efforts or progress. Self-sabotage can appear in the form of procrastination-putting off tasks that are important to you or engaging in activities that are counterproductive. Self-sabotage could also be negative self-talk or self-defeating behaviors that prevent you from achieving your goals or reaching your fullest potential.

What drives self-sabotage? Fear. Generally, self-sabotage is driven by fear on some level. This underlying fear can contribute to procrastination and perfectionism, and before we know it, we are on a downward spiral. The procrastination and perfectionism caused by our fear increases anxiety which can lead us to think in the form of worst-case scenarios. Constantly thinking of worst-case scenarios causes distorted beliefs about ourselves and the world, which ignites our inner critic. The inner critic has such harsh inner dialogue that it often keeps us stifled, frozen, or running in place- avoiding important tasks or wasting time with insignificant ones. The more the harsh inner dialogue continues, the further we are driven into survival mode. In survival mode, the brain is constantly on the lookout for threats to your safety. This unconscious vigilance can drive you to hold on to old issues to protect you from physical or emotional damage. We cannot be abundant or reach our fullest potential in survival mode, so it’s very important to break to debilitating habit of self-sabotage.

The first step in breaking this habit is to become aware of it – to identify when and why you are engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. Once you have identified the behavior, it is important to understand the underlying causes or triggers for it. This may require exploring your thoughts and feelings in order to better understand why you are engaging in these behaviors.

Once you have identified the triggers, the next step is to replace the self-sabotaging behavior with more positive, productive behaviors. This could be anything from taking a break when you feel overwhelmed, engaging in positive self-talk, to scheduling regular breaks throughout your day.

Finally, it is important to be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion. Self-sabotage is often a defense mechanism, and it is important to remember that it is not a reflection of your worth or ability. It is possible to break the habit of self-sabotage and take the steps to make positive changes in your life. With this blog and the journaling prompts I hope to help you shed some light on your self-sabotage habits, learn how to recognize them, identify which areas of your life they show up most, and how to manage your habits by creating new ones.

Be sure to follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and/or TikTok (@mimi.sums) for more self-sabotaging and personal development content.

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

A Practical Guide to Behavioral Change

Hey Boo,

In a world that’s constantly evolving, the ability to change behaviors- whether personal or within a team- is a powerful asset. Behavioral change can lead to improved productivity, healthier habits, and a more fulfilling life. However, activating behavioral change isn’t always easy. It requires understanding your thought processes, employing strategic techniques, and maintaining consistency over time. This guide will show you how to successfully activate and sustain behavioral change.

Set Clear and Measurable Goals

Behavioral change begins with a clear understanding of what you want to achieve. Abstract goals like ‘get healthier’ or ‘be more productive’ often lead to confusion and lack of focus. Instead, break down these broader objectives into specific, actionable goals.

For example:

Exercise for 30 minutes, 3 times a week

Limit social media use to 1 hour per day

These goals should be measurable and time bound to track progress. The SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) goal setting framework is a useful tool here.

Understand the Triggers and Cues

Most behaviors are linked to specific triggers or cues. For instance, you may unconsciously grab a snack every time you sit down to watch TV. Recognizing these patterns is key to changing them. Start by:

Identifying the behavior you want to change.

Pinpointing the cue or trigger for that behavior. This could be a location, time of day, emotional state, or even people you’re around.

Once the trigger is identified, you can work on modifying it or replacing the undesired behavior with a positive one, also called a life giving activity.

Leverage the Power of Habit

According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, habits operate on a “cue-routine-routine” loop. To change behavior, you need to modify this loop:

Cue: The trigger that initiates the behavior.

Routine: The behavior or action itself

Reward: The positive reinforcement you get from the action.

By keeping the same cue and reward but changing the routine, you can reshape habits. For example, if you snack when stressed, find a new routine like drinking tea or going for a short walk. This will satisfy the craving for stress relief without the unhealthy behavior.

Use Positive Reinforcement: Positive reinforcement is a proven psychological technique to promote behavioral change. Reward yourself for sticking to new behaviors or achieving small milestones. Rewards can be intrinsic (a sense of accomplishment) or extrinsic (a treat, an experience, or a material reward). However, the reward should be tied to the effort and not undermine the goal (example: don’t reward a healthy week of eating with a day of overeating)

Harness the Power of Social Influence: We humans are social creatures and our behaviors are often influenced by the people around us. This can be used to your advantage.

Surround yourself with people who encourage and model the behavior you want to adopt.

Join communities, online or in person, where your new behavior is celebrated and supported. Seek out an accountability partner who can keep you on track and provide feedback.

Social influence creates a sense of accountability and normalizes the new behavior.

Start Small and Build Momentum: Often, people try to change too much too fast, leading to burnout, discouragement, or failure. Instead, focus on small incremental changes. For example, if your goal is to exercise regularly, start with 10 minutes a day instead of jumping into hour-long workouts. These small wins build momentum and make larger goals feel more attainable.

Use Visual Reminders: Visual cues can be a powerful tool to reinforce new behaviors. Some common strategies include:

Keeping a habit tracker where you mark off each day you complete the desired action.

Placing reminders in visible places (Sticky notes or your mirror, phone alarms)

Creating vision boards that reflect the results of your desired behavioral change.

These visual tools keep the goal front and center in your mind and increase your chances of sticking to it.

Plan for Setbacks: Behavioral change is rarely linear. There will be moments when you fall back into old patterns, and that’s okay. The key is to recognize that setbacks are part of the process, not a sign of failure. When a slip-up happens:

Analyze what triggered the old behavior.

Reaffirm your commitment to the change.

Adjust your approach if necessary and keep moving forward.

Having a plan for setbacks makes it easier to bounce back and avoid guilt of frustration.

Consistency Over Intensity: Consistency is more important than intensity when it comes to lasting behavioral change. Daily or regular practice, even in small amounts, is more effective than intense but infrequent efforts. Aim for sustainable actions that you can integrate into your daily life.

For example, if you want to develop a meditation habit, it’s better to start with 5 minutes a day consistently rather than attempting an hour-long session once a week.

Track and Reflect on Progress: Regular reflection helps you assess what’s working and what isn’t. Keep a journal, use a habit tracking app, or simply spend time each week reviewing your progress. These practices:

Reinforce the positive changes you’ve made.

Highlight areas for improvement.

Encourage further growth.

By reflecting on your journey, you’ll remain motivated and aware of the progress you’ve made, which can help maintain the behavior in long term.

Activating behavioral change is both an art and a science. It requires self-awareness, strategic planning, and persistence. By setting clear goals, understanding the psychology behind habits, and staying consistent, anyone can create lasting change in their behavior. Whether you want to be healthier, more productive, or achieve personal growth, these steps will help you initiate and sustain meaningful change.

Go forth and be great, Boo. You got this!

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…