Tag: self care

What’s in Your Coping Toolbox?

Hey Boo!

Life consistently presents us with challenges and changes and at times this can lead to us feeling stressed. Learning to cope with various life situations is the key to succeeding with stress rather than experiencing distress. This blog contains ideas for coping with stress and acute emotional crises. Here are some ideas for coping with stress:

  1. Understand more about stress – this involves recognizing your sources of stress and how stress affects you personally. Plan for stressful periods.
  1. Problem-solve – what is the problem, be specific and break it down into realistic achievable components. Then set goals on how to deal with each problem. Make sure you include how to begin your plan of action.
  1. Develop new behavior – if you take on too much or have problems saying no, practice being more assertive. Learn to manage your time more effectively and delegate wherever possible! Avoid procrastination. Remind yourself that procrastination causes unneeded anxiety. Get the task done and out of the way so that you don’t’ have to worry about it later.
  1. Make sure you develop a support network – deliberately develop good supportive relationships. Ask for help when needed and accept it when offered. You must also be prepared to do the same for others.
  1. Make time to relax and enjoy yourself – how many of us know we should do more of this but don’t make the time? Set aside time each day to relax and build this into your routine. Develop hobbies and leisure activities that help you to switch off.

Ideas For Coping with Acute Emotional Distress

  1. Use of distraction – the aim of this is to limit the time you spend in contact with the emotional stimuli, the things that are causing you to feel emotional. The stimuli could be anything from another person to the thoughts that you are having. Distraction involves doing something else to absorb your attention.
  1. Imagery – think of safe and soothing images. This involves imagining images that make you feel good, it may be a favorite place, person, pet or scenes from nature.
  1. Relaxation – learn a simple technique like using peripheral vision to induce relaxation. Peripheral vision is effective at switching on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system responsible for making us feel calm. It’s not possible to feel anxious or distressed while fully relaxed in peripheral vision.
  1. Live in the moment – as adults we tend to spend much of our time stuck contemplating what went wrong in the past or what may go wrong in the future. Try and just focus on the ‘moment’. Perhaps this may involve thinking something like ‘I’m in my house in my favorite chair, I’m warm and comfortable and I have a good book to read’.
  1. Exercise – physical activity can help to disperse the chemicals released in your body by the stress response. It also releases feel good chemicals known as endorphins.
  1. Soothe yourself – do something to nurture your 5 senses. Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Until Next time beautiful soul, keep Glowing…

4 Simple Steps to Conquer Self Esteem

Hey Boo!

Since we’ve been talking about worthiness lately, I thought it would be fitting to blog about self-esteem. Self-esteem plays a vital role in your sense of worthiness, and if you’re wounded in that area it can be quite a fight to recover from it. But you can win the battle over low self esteem with these 4 simple steps…

  1. Affirmations

Affirmations are simply positive things that you say out loud to yourself every day. This can be very difficult at times because you may not actually believe what you are saying. SO why would you say something to yourself that you don’t believe?

Increased self esteem has to start with you. So, if you are shy and intimidated by people, start to say something like the following: I am self assured and charismatic. I am confident while speaking with others.

Repeat this to yourself out loud at least 10 times before you leave your room. When you say this, don’t just mumble it either, say it as many times as necessary until you say it with passion and conviction.

  1. Read to grow

Again, increased self esteem starts with you. Read something everyday for at least 15 minutes that will help you increase your self esteem. This can be an article, a book, or even an audio series. The more you learn the more you will grow. The more you grow, the more your self esteem will improve.

  1. Take action everyday

Do something every day, starting with something small, that directly deals with your low self esteem. For instance, if you can’t talk with people because you feel insecure and inferior, just start off by saying ‘Hi’. As you get more comfortable with this, then start to make small talk. You will begin to feel more confident and more confident until one day, you will find that you have overcome low self-esteem in that area.

  1. Stop the negative thoughts

Negative thoughts are like landmines. As soon as you step out to face your fear, a negative thought comes and tells you that you can’t do it and BOOM; you believe it and lose that round. Instead, diffuse negative thoughts before they have a chance to do damage.

A great way to do this is with a rubber band! Put a rubber band around your wrist. Every time a thought comes into your head that tells you that you can’t, you will never succeed, you are a loser, or anything negative, SNAP the rubber band on your wrist.

You may be snapping that band until your wrist is red and sore. Before long though, you will stop the negative thoughts because you don’t want to hurt your wrist anymore.

These four steps will help you increase your self esteem and become the person you really want to be. Just remember this: you are not going to change over night. It will take time but as long as you are progressing, you are winning the war.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

 

Featured

6 Keys to Finding True Happiness

Hey Boo!

Are you happy? Did you know that happiness is your right and that you have every right to pursue it?

Yes indeed! The pursuit of happiness is one of the basic elements of human existence. We came here to be happy, we deserve to be happy, we want to be happy… So why are so many people unhappy then? Most likely people are not happy because they are missing one of the six keys to happiness.

The most important key to your personal happiness is determining that you will be happy. For many people, their personal happiness is not a priority in their life. Too often, we put the happiness of others before our own. While this may please our children, spouse, or boss, this is not the path to happiness. Doing things solely for the happiness of others often leaves us feeling unappreciated and unfulfilled in the long run, which is why it is important to prioritize doing things that genuinely make you happy. This doesn’t mean you should make yourself happy at the expense of others, but you must remember that the reverse should also not be true — your happiness should not be sacrificed to make others happy.

Once you have determined to make your pursuit of happiness a priority you need to determine just what it is that makes you happy. Spend some time reviewing the happy times in your life. Think about memories that make you smile or activities that make you joyful. Can you find a common element or theme? If so, that common element is one of the keys to finding true happiness for you.

Now that you have identified what makes you happy you need to engage in that activity. Perhaps you need a creative outlet? Join a writing group, take an art class, or learn an instrument. Do you need physical activity? Then find a way to get into a sport you love or try enjoyable activities that involve movement such as dancing to your favorite music or playing catch with your fur baby. Just find a way to reconnect with this key element.

 For most of us, special people in our lives can provide another element of happiness. Connection to others makes the human experience more joyful. Perhaps you have lost touch with someone important and can reach out to them to reconnect. Or maybe you just need to plan some special time with family. It is important to our own pursuit of happiness to stay connected with those we love.

Another essential to finding true happiness is to give of ourselves as well. Helping others in both small and large ways can help make you happier and more content. You might even be able to find a way to combine giving and engaging in an activity that makes you happy. For example, if you love to make people laugh you could organize a community talent show as a fundraiser for a local charity.

Finally, make a list of all the aspects of your life that do make you happy. So many of us get down because we dwell on the negative, but usually there is something about your life that makes you happy. Make a list of these items so you can have a quick mood enhancer when you feel down.

The pursuit of happiness does not have to be challenging or arduous. Finding true happiness can be as simple as determining, identifying, engaging, connecting, giving and reminding yourself of the 6 keys to personal happiness.

If you’ve been through some emotional challenges and are having difficulties finding your happiness again, try journaling to sort through your thoughts or reach out to a therapist or other trusted counselor or coach to help you find clarity. Free consultations are available to see if we’d be a good fit to work together as well.

Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

Take up Space!

Hello beautiful souls 💖

As the month of April comes to a close, I’d like to finish strong with a slight recap of what we’ve discussed during the month.

This is The Evolution.

First and foremost, we are to show up for ourselves. Self love and self care are the root of evolution. Growth does not happen until our foundation – is stable. We cannot evolve into better people if we do not first love ourselves and show up for ourselves.

Once we have self awareness and self love, and we are showing up for ourselves, we must be intentional. Being intentional directs or funnels our positive energy and our awareness into more purposeful, positive, and deliberate actions, boundaries, priorities, schedules, and habits.

Creating a to-do list is a great way to be intentional.

Next, we begin self evaluation. It is absolutely necessary for growth. This is where we have to be honest with ourselves about our habits, our connections, our emotions, our trauma, our “dirt” if you will. We have to take ownership for our flaws and look for ways to make healthy changes. We should forgive those who have done us wrong and we should forgive ourselves too.

In this stage, we look at who we associate ourselves with and make changes if need be. Once we become more intentional, we may realize that there are people in our lives that no longer resonate with us or the new direction our lives are headed. Self evaluation is the place where we may have some uncomfortable conversations or process some less than favorable emotions. It all works out for the best, because now we move on and we take up space.

Do you find yourself doing these things? Self Evaluation may be in order.

And now, we reach the most fun part of our evolution:

Take Up Space!

To take up space means to expand, to fearlessly step out of the shadows and be seen, and to be who we are unapologetically. We must never shrink, lower, or stifle ourselves to make others comfortable.

Taking up space requires confidence. This is something that I continue to work on myself, and I can honestly say that I’ve come a long way. Feel free to contact me if you would like some tips or suggestions on confidence building, or if you have some tips to add.

But…it is not over once we begin taking up space. We continue on. We continue to show up for ourselves, be intentional, self evaluate, and take up space through this journey that we call life. Deep down, expansion is what we all long for. What our souls long for.

It’s been a pleasure sharing my thoughts with you. I hope you enjoy this blog. Feel free to share it with like minded individuals. 😊

Until next time beautiful souls 💖

Featured

Self-Evaluation

Hello beautiful souls 💖

This week, the focus is on self-evaluation. Self-evaluation is the third (and most pivotal) step in our evolution. Self evaluation, or shadow work, is a process that has brought forth a lot of healing for me on my journey.

Self Evaluation is so important because no real progress can be made without it.

No one can truly show up for themselves; neither can they be intentional without evaluating their behaviors first. Self evaluation enables a person to know their strengths and challenges. Only then can a person truly show up and adequately assess the areas where they should be more intentional.

What does self evaluation really mean?

My interpretation of self evaluation is a combination of self awareness and self discovery. It’s being 100% truthful with myself about my emotions and triggers. When I feel triggered or become frustrated, I immediately ask myself why I am feeling the way that I am. I consider the four agreements- am I breaking one of them? I continue to ask myself questions and evaluating my emotions and responses until I find the root of the problem.

Sometimes, my evaluation goes deeper than a few self check questions and I take a more extensive approach that involves journaling and meditation.

Each step in the Evolution process works together to ensure our progression into greatness. Self evaluation eventually leads to self mastery- a beautiful level of elevation that I am still striving to reach.

The process of evaluating ourselves may be uncomfortable at times, but it is definitely worth it! This brings up our vibration as well as prevents us from repeating painful lessons.

Whatever method of self-evaluation you use,(journaling, meditation, prayer, hobbies and activities, therapy, etc) I wish you well on your evolution.

Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions, and/or comment if you have tips or suggestions to add to this topic. 🙂

Until next time beautiful souls 💖

Show up for Yourself

Hello beautiful souls! 💖

How are you doing today?

I just wanted to take a moment to check on all the adults out there.

The wearers of many hats. The ones putting everything into everyone else but themselves.

I see you.

I see you being the stellar employee at work, the kids’ personal chef, the sounding board for your spouse. The “go to” friend or relative. You’re always there when they need you. You always show up and are present,, aware,, engaged,, attentive. You give 110% to the people you care about. But do you show up for yourself?

If you’re anything like I used to be, the answer is a resounding “NO.”

I had to learn to show up for myself. I started with prioritizing myself and I struggled with it at first. It felt wrong. I felt like I was being selfish. I was so used to putting myself on the back burner that basic self care felt like overindulgence.

I had to realize that self care is not wrong. It is vital and should be a daily occurrence. Even if it is a small thing, we must do something for ourselves every day.

Take a few minutes out of your day and invest in yourself. My intention each day is to spend half an hour enriching myself. Some days I reach and even exceed my goal and others…not so much. It happens. Fifteen minutes invested is better than no time at all…

Feel like you’re too busy to commit? Here are a few suggestions:

Set an alarm. If possible, wake up a few minutes earlier than the family to have a moment to yourself.

Fake sleep. This may sound silly, but when I was in a really controlling relationship, I used to wake up and be completely still for a while. I’d meditate and think positive thoughts before getting out of bed. Those positive thoughts really helped me through some rough days.

Go to the bathroom. Another strategy I learned during my last marriage. Going to the bathroom can give you a moment to gather yourself and take a few deep breaths. One of my favorites is three deep breaths. Inhale Peace. Exhale Love. It works in a pinch!

If you found these tips useful, would like to know more, or have any other tips, please feel free to reach out and let me know. 😊

The key to showing up for yourself is being intentional; which I will go into more detail about next week.

I wish the very best for you and challenge you to show up for yourself!

Until next time beautiful souls 💖

Strawberries

Hello beautiful souls 💖

I was thinking about a meme that I saw on Instagram some time ago. It said something to the degree of ‘you could be the juiciest, sweetest strawberry in the world. There’s still gonna be some people that don’t like strawberries. And it hit me.

Again.

This is information that I already knew, but at the time I needed to be reminded. Sometimes self depreciating thoughts and ego creep in and try to cause me to revert back to my old ways.

I’m still relatively new to this stage in my life where I speak and think freely without fear of rejection or repercussions. The stage where the best isn’t yet to come; the best is here and now because I create it with my mind. I am here. In this beautiful stage where I dare to be my happiest and most authentic. I dare to be who I am- unabashed.

And this stage has become a permanent place.

I am grateful to have reached this place in my life where I finally realize that I can be myself. I live in a liberating state where I don’t feel the need to explain how and why strawberries are awesome. I find joy and solace in who I am. I love my uniqueness. And the dislike or disapproval of others does not change that.

I am a sweet, juicy strawberry. Not everyone likes strawberries.

And that’s okay.

To all my other strawberries out there; stay sweet!

Until next time beautiful souls 💖

Celebrate!

Hello beautiful souls 💖

During this time of year and this point in my life I find it to be of vital importance to celebrate.

I didn’t allow myself to celebrate much before.  I felt that I hadn’t accomplished  anything worth celebrating- except for create my daughter- and I didn’t do even do that on my own.

I realized that my way of thinking in the past was not only negative, but it was ungrateful. Self evaluation proved that I had been choosing to see my life and experiences as some sort of punishment or rejection by “God”. I felt like I was being picked on; bullied. My perspective was completely damaging. I was grading myself based on outside expectations and popular clichés and comparing myself to my peers.

Over the years, I have learned and evolved much. I have looked into my past and separated the pain from the lessons. I have begun to truly know, love, and appreciate myself. I find that life is much more simple and enjoyable when I stop overthinking or worrying and just live.

Live and Celebrate.

Celebrate!

I celebrate each day that I am given. I celebrate my gifts and talents, my empathy and kindness, my body, my experiences, my wisdom, my sensuality, my intelligence, my uniqueness…

I celebrate me.

And you should celebrate yourself as well.

Let’s Celebrate!

Until next time beautiful souls ✨ 💖