The Downward Spiral of Self-Sabotage

Hey Boo!

This week, we are talking about self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is the act of consciously or subconsciously undermining one’s own efforts or progress. Self-sabotage can appear in the form of procrastination-putting off tasks that are important to you or engaging in activities that are counterproductive. Self-sabotage could also be negative self-talk or self-defeating behaviors that prevent you from achieving your goals or reaching your fullest potential.

What drives self-sabotage? Fear. Generally, self-sabotage is driven by fear on some level. This underlying fear can contribute to procrastination and perfectionism, and before we know it, we are on a downward spiral. The procrastination and perfectionism caused by our fear increases anxiety which can lead us to think in the form of worst-case scenarios. Constantly thinking of worst-case scenarios causes distorted beliefs about ourselves and the world, which ignites our inner critic. The inner critic has such harsh inner dialogue that it often keeps us stifled, frozen, or running in place- avoiding important tasks or wasting time with insignificant ones. The more the harsh inner dialogue continues, the further we are driven into survival mode. In survival mode, the brain is constantly on the lookout for threats to your safety. This unconscious vigilance can drive you to hold on to old issues to protect you from physical or emotional damage. We cannot be abundant or reach our fullest potential in survival mode, so it’s very important to break to debilitating habit of self-sabotage.

The first step in breaking this habit is to become aware of it – to identify when and why you are engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. Once you have identified the behavior, it is important to understand the underlying causes or triggers for it. This may require exploring your thoughts and feelings in order to better understand why you are engaging in these behaviors.

Once you have identified the triggers, the next step is to replace the self-sabotaging behavior with more positive, productive behaviors. This could be anything from taking a break when you feel overwhelmed, engaging in positive self-talk, to scheduling regular breaks throughout your day.

Finally, it is important to be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion. Self-sabotage is often a defense mechanism, and it is important to remember that it is not a reflection of your worth or ability. It is possible to break the habit of self-sabotage and take the steps to make positive changes in your life. With this blog and the journaling prompts I hope to help you shed some light on your self-sabotage habits, learn how to recognize them, identify which areas of your life they show up most, and how to manage your habits by creating new ones.

Be sure to follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and/or TikTok (@mimi.sums) for more self-sabotaging and personal development content.

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

A Practical Guide to Behavioral Change

Hey Boo,

In a world that’s constantly evolving, the ability to change behaviors- whether personal or within a team- is a powerful asset. Behavioral change can lead to improved productivity, healthier habits, and a more fulfilling life. However, activating behavioral change isn’t always easy. It requires understanding your thought processes, employing strategic techniques, and maintaining consistency over time. This guide will show you how to successfully activate and sustain behavioral change.

Set Clear and Measurable Goals

Behavioral change begins with a clear understanding of what you want to achieve. Abstract goals like ‘get healthier’ or ‘be more productive’ often lead to confusion and lack of focus. Instead, break down these broader objectives into specific, actionable goals.

For example:

Exercise for 30 minutes, 3 times a week

Limit social media use to 1 hour per day

These goals should be measurable and time bound to track progress. The SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) goal setting framework is a useful tool here.

Understand the Triggers and Cues

Most behaviors are linked to specific triggers or cues. For instance, you may unconsciously grab a snack every time you sit down to watch TV. Recognizing these patterns is key to changing them. Start by:

Identifying the behavior you want to change.

Pinpointing the cue or trigger for that behavior. This could be a location, time of day, emotional state, or even people you’re around.

Once the trigger is identified, you can work on modifying it or replacing the undesired behavior with a positive one, also called a life giving activity.

Leverage the Power of Habit

According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, habits operate on a “cue-routine-routine” loop. To change behavior, you need to modify this loop:

Cue: The trigger that initiates the behavior.

Routine: The behavior or action itself

Reward: The positive reinforcement you get from the action.

By keeping the same cue and reward but changing the routine, you can reshape habits. For example, if you snack when stressed, find a new routine like drinking tea or going for a short walk. This will satisfy the craving for stress relief without the unhealthy behavior.

Use Positive Reinforcement: Positive reinforcement is a proven psychological technique to promote behavioral change. Reward yourself for sticking to new behaviors or achieving small milestones. Rewards can be intrinsic (a sense of accomplishment) or extrinsic (a treat, an experience, or a material reward). However, the reward should be tied to the effort and not undermine the goal (example: don’t reward a healthy week of eating with a day of overeating)

Harness the Power of Social Influence: We humans are social creatures and our behaviors are often influenced by the people around us. This can be used to your advantage.

Surround yourself with people who encourage and model the behavior you want to adopt.

Join communities, online or in person, where your new behavior is celebrated and supported. Seek out an accountability partner who can keep you on track and provide feedback.

Social influence creates a sense of accountability and normalizes the new behavior.

Start Small and Build Momentum: Often, people try to change too much too fast, leading to burnout, discouragement, or failure. Instead, focus on small incremental changes. For example, if your goal is to exercise regularly, start with 10 minutes a day instead of jumping into hour-long workouts. These small wins build momentum and make larger goals feel more attainable.

Use Visual Reminders: Visual cues can be a powerful tool to reinforce new behaviors. Some common strategies include:

Keeping a habit tracker where you mark off each day you complete the desired action.

Placing reminders in visible places (Sticky notes or your mirror, phone alarms)

Creating vision boards that reflect the results of your desired behavioral change.

These visual tools keep the goal front and center in your mind and increase your chances of sticking to it.

Plan for Setbacks: Behavioral change is rarely linear. There will be moments when you fall back into old patterns, and that’s okay. The key is to recognize that setbacks are part of the process, not a sign of failure. When a slip-up happens:

Analyze what triggered the old behavior.

Reaffirm your commitment to the change.

Adjust your approach if necessary and keep moving forward.

Having a plan for setbacks makes it easier to bounce back and avoid guilt of frustration.

Consistency Over Intensity: Consistency is more important than intensity when it comes to lasting behavioral change. Daily or regular practice, even in small amounts, is more effective than intense but infrequent efforts. Aim for sustainable actions that you can integrate into your daily life.

For example, if you want to develop a meditation habit, it’s better to start with 5 minutes a day consistently rather than attempting an hour-long session once a week.

Track and Reflect on Progress: Regular reflection helps you assess what’s working and what isn’t. Keep a journal, use a habit tracking app, or simply spend time each week reviewing your progress. These practices:

Reinforce the positive changes you’ve made.

Highlight areas for improvement.

Encourage further growth.

By reflecting on your journey, you’ll remain motivated and aware of the progress you’ve made, which can help maintain the behavior in long term.

Activating behavioral change is both an art and a science. It requires self-awareness, strategic planning, and persistence. By setting clear goals, understanding the psychology behind habits, and staying consistent, anyone can create lasting change in their behavior. Whether you want to be healthier, more productive, or achieve personal growth, these steps will help you initiate and sustain meaningful change.

Go forth and be great, Boo. You got this!

Until Next Time Boo, keep Glowing…

10 Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Hey Boo!

Confidence is a trait that many of us admire in others but struggle to develop in ourselves. But the good news is that even if you don’t have confidence naturally, confidence is a skill that can be learned and cultivated. Like any other skill, it grows with intention, practice, and persistence. In this blog, we’ll explore practical ways to boost your confidence and create lasting self-assurance.

Understand the Root of Low Confidence

The first step to boosting your confidence is identifying what holds you back. Is it fear of failure? Comparison to others? Negative self-talk? Understanding the root cause allows you to address it head-on.

Action Step

Take time to reflect. Journal about moments when you felt your confidence waver. What were the triggers? Awareness is the foundation of change.

Celebrate Small Wins

Confidence builds through achievement. It’s not about waiting for monumental successes, but about recognizing the small victories that happen everyday. Whether it’s finishing a challenging task, learning something new, or even showing kindness to someone else, these small wins accumulate into a greater sense of accomplishment.

Action Step

Start a “win journal.’ Each day, write down three things you accomplished or are proud of, no matter how small. Over time, this practice will remind you of your growth and progress.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Our internal dialogue greatly impacts our confidence. If you frequently tell yourself you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The key to reversing this is to become aware of these thoughts and replace them with empowering beliefs.

Action Step

When you find yourself engaging in negative self talk, pause and ask: “Is this thought helpful? Is it true?” Replace it with a positive affirmation or a more constructive perspective. For example, instead of thinking, “I’ll never be able to do this” shift to, “I’m learning and improving every day.”

Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

True confidence comes from facing challenges and stepping out of your comfort zone. By confronting fear and uncertainty, you gradually prove to yourself that you are capable of more than you thought.

Action Step

Identify one thing that scares you but could help you grow. It could be public speaking, starting a new project, or joining a group activity. Take small, calculated steps toward that goal and celebrate your progress along the way.

Cultivate Self-Compassion

Confidence isn’t about perfection, it’s about self-acceptance. Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes or when things don’t go as planned. Embrace failure as part of the learning process, not a reflection of your worth.

Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a close friend, when things don’t go well, instead of criticizing yourself, offer words of encouragement. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and they opportunities for growth.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people you surround yourself with have a significant impact on your confidence. Negative, critical, or unsupportive relationships can drain your self-esteem, while positive, encouraging ones can uplift and empower you.

Action Step

Evaluate your relationships. Are they supportive and uplifting? If not, consider setting boundaries with negative influences and seeking out individuals who inspire and motivate you.

Focus on Your Strengths

Everyone has unique strengths and talents. Often, we focus so much on our weaknesses that we forget to celebrate what we’re good at. Confidence grows when we recognize and play to our strengths.

Action Step

Make a list of your strengths, talents, and things you enjoy doing. How can you incorporate more of these into your daily life? The more you align with your strengths, the more confident you’ll feel.

Practice Body Language

Confidence isn’t just a mindset- it’s also physical. How you carry yourself affects how you feel. Standing tall, maintaining good posture, and making eye contact can send signals to both yourself as well as others that you are confident, even if you don’t feel that way at first.

Action Step

Practice standing with your shoulders back and your head held high. Smile more often and make eye contact. Notice how these small adjustments shift your mood and the way others respond to you.

Set and Achieve Realistic Goals

Setting and achieving goals, no matter how small, is a powerful way to build confidence. Each goal you accomplish reinforces the belief that you are capable.

Action Step

Break larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Focus on making steady progress, and each completed step will boost your confidence.

Visualize Your Success

Visualization is a powerful tool for boosting confidence. When you imagine yourself succeeding, your brain starts to believe it’s possible. This mental rehearsal prepares you for the real thing.

Action Step

Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself achieving a specific goal or handling a challenging situation with confidence. Imagine how you’ll feel and the actions you’ll take. This practice will help you feel more prepared when the moment comes.

Building confidence is a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and consistent effort. By taking small steps each day and practicing the strategies outlined in this blog, you’ll find yourself growing stronger, more resilient, and more confident in every aspect of your life.

Remember confidence is not about having it all together. It’s about believing in your ability to learn, grow, and handle whatever comes your way. Keep going Boo, and you’ll be amazed at the new heights you’ll reach!

Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…

The Power of Positive Thinking

Hey Boo!

Have you ever wonder how super-successful people become super- successful? Is it privilege, or luck? Or, is it possible that the world’s greatest achievers think completely differently from the majority?

Do you think the Wright brothers could ever have achieved what they did if they hadn’t believed it could be done? What about Simone Biles or Sha’Carri Richardson? How different would their stories be had they let negative words or thoughts decide their fate?

Success in any aspect of life (financial, professional, romantic, etc.) is neither achieved or maintained in a state of negativity. Think of your thoughts as seeds- you can’t grow a positive outcome from negative thoughts.

I myself have been in the company of negative thinkers and let me tell you that their influence if allowed to go unchecked is very powerful and destructive. Look at what happens if you place a piece of rotting fruit in a bowl of fresh fruit. All of the surrounding fruit begins to rot as well. This is why it is paramount that if you want to be successful in life, you must surround yourself with positive thinking individuals and to share your positive thoughts and attitudes with likeminded people.

It is also equally important that you write your goals down and place them in a position where you can see and read them on a daily basis.

In the late 1950’s, 1500 students at Yale University were sent a questionnaire covering various parts of the college experience. Here are the last two questions:

1) Do you have an ambition in your life?

2) Have you written it down?

Twenty-five years later, a postgraduate decided to carry out further research on the last two questions. Here are the results of his findings.

Over 75% of the students who completed the questionnaire had ambitions for their lives.

Only 3.3% had actually written their ambitions down.

After tracking down as many of the 3.3% (51 students) as he could, he found that all of them had gone on to realize their dreams – in commerce, in government and in the professions.

Of the others he had managed to contact, (the ones who didn’t write their ambitions down) they told him that most of what they had achieved had happened more by chance than design. They had ended up in careers they hadn’t planned for because they didn’t define what it was they were actually seeking to do. Is it safe to say that by writing your goals down you are actively programming or reprogramming your brain to change the way you subconsciously perceive?

Not having been party to the experiment which was carried out at YALE, I can neither confirm or deny it. But I do believe in the strength of being intentional and the power of positive thinking.

Until next time, beautiful souls keep glowing…

3 Keys to Motivation & Self-Improvement

Hey Boo!

What are the three keys to self-improvement and motivation? Let’s get into it.

INSPIRATION

Inspiration is critical to staying motivated and improving oneself. If you are not interested in your business, your motivation level will never be high, and you will not be able to sustain productivity or success for very long.

Take an honest look at your inspiration level. Are you excited about going to work or is it an obligation? You would be surprised at the number of people who choose a business that looks good on paper but does not interest them in the least.

These individuals will grow weary and uninterested pretty quickly because they have no inspiration or passion to sustain them during the difficult times they will encounter as a small business owner.

If you do not like your work, then think about how you can refocus your small business (career, schooling, etc) to better match your needs. Or consider making a change entirely. Without inspiration, they will not be motivated to even try self-improvement.

SETTING GOALS

Short and long-term goal setting is vital for any business owner. (If you aren’t a business owner, consider your employment or other important task) If you do not set goals, you would have no definite purpose on which path of self-improvement to take.

How could you possibly be motivated if you were unsure about the direction of your company?

Take the time to put your goals in writing. A business plan may sound daunting, but it is really nothing more than goals, strategies, implementation and a budget. Write your own business plan and update it at least annually. Or find someone who can help you do that.

Include “mini-goals” that can be accomplished in a matter of hours, days or weeks as well as the more ambitious “grand-goals” that may take years to complete. Refer to this plan throughout the year.

But can a business plan really help motivate you? Of course. Written goals will make you feel more professional and certainly more connected to your business. It will also free you from having to reinvent your business goals every single day.

NETWORKING

Another key factor in getting and staying motivated is networking with other small business owners. No one person knows all the knowledge.

In fact, the isolation of working alone is one of the most difficult parts of being an entrepreneur. You can never be on your way to self improvement without the help of others. Mutual support is motivating.

However, when a number of people begin working together, the challenges will just be there waiting to be conquered.

Make it easier on yourself by connecting with others either in your community or online. Even when businesses are not related, you will often find common ground and ways to work together.

Many successful entrepreneurs report that finding the right networking group was a turning point in the growth of the business. Working together, a networking group can help its members generate more qualified sales leads and solve problems faster and more efficiently.

Sharing ideas, expertise and experience is also an invaluable aspect of motivation and self-improvement.

Your own personal team of business owners will help re-energize you when the burdens of running your own business seem too much.

With your networking team to rely on, you can accomplish more in less time and probably have more fun in the process. You will feel motivated to accomplish self-improvement when you know you are not alone.

Until next time beautiful soul keep glowing…

6 Steps to Activating and Applying Behavioral Change

Do you REALLY want to make change in your life??

Hey Boo!

Without change there is stagnancy, and stagnancy eventually brings death.

In order to truly live, you must grow, and the requirement of growth is that you experience new things that open your perspective so that you evolve and become better. Hence, we cannot truly live without becoming better, and we cannot become better without change. But what kind of change?

The only kind of change that truly matters is behavioral change. We cannot change the people around us, nor can we avoid certain circumstances in life. The only thing that we can really change is ourselves. When we change our behavior, we empower ourselves to elevate in various aspects of life. Activating and applying behavioral change is the key to elevation and living the life you truly want. There are six steps and we are going to walk through them right now.

Step 1: Clarify Values for Each Life Domain

This really just means ‘write down what’s most important to you in each area of your life. What goals would you like to accomplish mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally?

For example: I want to make ‘x’ amount of dollars a month. That would be your value for your financial domain.

Once you’ve placed a value in each life domain you want to improve, move on to step two.

Step 2: Identify Life Giving Activities

Life giving activities are the things that you do that give you a feeling of accomplishment or bring enjoyment to your life. Some people become so focused on achieving goals that they cut out enjoyment and spend all of their available time with their noses to the grindstone. They believe that enjoyment is distracting them from achievement and hyperfocus is the answer. But unfortunately, hyper focusing on goals creates the opposite effect of the one desired. Instead of making more progress, it’s more likely that you become bitter, experience burnout, and possibly give up on the goal altogether.

The truth is, enjoyment is not frivolous, it is necessary. The best way to accomplish your goals is to identify life giving activities that bring enjoyment and align with your goals.

For example: One of my life-giving activities is writing. In my opinion, writing is art. It’s the first form of self expression that I ever embraced and has a special place in my heart. I can use my life-giving activity of writing to bring myself enjoyment, feel a sense of accomplishment, and aid in accomplishing my goal of reaching 10k beautiful souls per month.

Other lifegiving activities such as painting, dancing, listening to music are for my enjoyment and although they may not necessarily provide a sense of accomplishment or help achieve a goal, these activities serve as a form of reward or celebration and can also provide balance. (Work hard, play hard.)

So, for step two I want you to write down life-giving activities. They don’t all have to align with your goals but if they do, that’s awesome!

Step 3: Rate the Difficulty of Each Activity

Take a moment to rate the level of difficulty for each of the lifegiving activities that you’ve written down. What steps do you need to take to begin and/or complete these activities?

Step 4: Plan the Order of Completion

Now that you have an idea of how challenging each activity will be, you can plan which activity you want to start with. Are there any life-giving activities that you can start with right now?

Step 5: Schedule Activities Into A Calendar

How’s it going so far Boo? At this point you should have a list of goals for every aspect of your life, selected life-giving activities that align with your goals or provide balance and enjoyment. You should also have rated the level of difficulty for each activity and selected which activity you’re starting with. The more specific you are about scheduling and executing your plans, the more likely you are to complete them.

Since you’ve chosen your starting activity, go ahead and schedule that activity on your calendar. When scheduling the activity in your calendar it’s important to be realistic about the time it takes to complete the task. If it is a particularly large task or you’re dealing with time restrictions, it’s best to break bigger tasks into smaller steps to prevent overwhelm and ensure completion.

Which leads us to step 6…

Step 6: Complete the Activities

While accomplishing your goals remember to be fully present during the activity. Appreciating the moment that you are in is a very important part of the process.

Yay! You did it Boo! You have successfully activated behavioral change in your life.

Here are a few tips on how to apply and maintain the changes you’ve just made.

-Build a game plan around your goals and work progressively toward them.

Remember that every bit of progress counts.

-Think holistically

Progress in different areas of your life can be mutually beneficial and reinforcing.

-Make sure tasks are rewarding.

Life giving activities help you stay consistent while enjoying the journey at the same time.

-Remember to break down big tasks.

Make sure the task is small enough to get started and then work on it steadily to ensure continued success.

-Plan activities for specific times.

Are you a morning person or a night owl? Plan activities for the time of day where you would be most productive and attentive.

–Make yourself accountable.

Write down your plans on your calendar to stay abreast of what you need to do. An accountability partner is also a great way to make sure that you stay diligent in the pursuit of your goals.

–Address negative thoughts.

Sometimes negative self-talk and self-doubt starts to creep in. Remember that this can happen in various parts of your journey and it’s normal. Remind yourself of your why and counteract your negative self-talk with positive affirmations and facts about how capable you are.

-Focus on completing one task at a time.

You may feel more productive to multi-task, but the more tasks you do at once the greater the margin for error. For the best, most consistent result start with one task and move on to the next only upon completion.

-Track your activities.

This tip is especially helpful as it serves as a form of accountability and encourages consistency. Tracking what activities you do and when you do them can also help you see what you are or aren’t doing consistently. Tracking your activities can also make you aware of trends in your behavior whether positive or negative.

Well Boo, that’s all I have for this week. If this blog was helpful to you, please share it. Until next time beautiful souls, keep Glowing…

3 Steps to Discovering Your Purpose

Hey Boo!

Do you ever wonder, what’s my purpose? What really is the point of it all?

Determining what our purpose is in life can be one of the hardest questions that we as humans must try to answer. In this blog we will be going through a step by step process, exploring your feelings and options, and by the end, you should have a fairly solid tool you can immediately employ in your life, to help give it a meaningful direction!

There are three steps to the process of discovering the purpose of your life:

Understanding the principle of choice
Creating your “underlying principle”
Aligning your life with this underlying principle

Understanding The Principle of Choice

Norman Vincent Peale has this to say about the power of choice. “The greatest power we have is the power of choice. It is an actual fact, that if you have been groping under unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous, instead. And, by effort, lift yourself into joy. If you tend to be fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have courage. The whole trend and the quality of anyone’s life is determined by the choices that are made”.

“Choosing” is the most important activity of your mind, because by making a choice, you are proclaiming your desires to your subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind gets to know your desires, it is going to do anything to manifest them in your life. The choices you make in your life become your goal. And, if you are sincere in pursuing them, there is no reason why you should not accomplish them.

Indecision, on the other hand, not only creates frustration and anxiety, but can also confuses the subconscious mind about what you want. But it is important that the choices you make are made by you, in accordance with your true desires, purposes and aptitude. A lot of us let others make choices for us or make our choices according to what we think is ‘correct’, even if that means going against our own wishes. What is right for someone else may not be right for you, and the way to know this is listening to what your heart says.

So, to begin with, make a list of things which interest you; things which you have always enjoyed, which make you feel better, which inspire you to press forward, no matter what obstacles you face. Do you like doing something creative, or something artistic? Do you enjoy nature? Do you like the sea? Do you enjoy helping others? Do you get pleasure out of making a difference in other people’s lives?

Whatever it is that interests you, write it down and answer these questions:

What thing do you love to do?

What is it that you love about this thing and why?

How could you do this for money, and make a living out of it?

Creating Your Underlying Principle

The next step is to examine the list you just made and find out if there is any recurring theme. Maybe, it is contribution that keeps coming up, or a desire to seek or give love, to feed the hungry, or help the elderly cope with old age. Whatever it is, try to identify the central theme of the things you love to do, and try to put it in a short and precise statement. This will be your ‘Mission Statement’. It may even be a quote by a famous person, or a philosophy that has influenced you. Of course, as you grow up, this statement could evolve, but its soul will remain the same. Now, write down your Mission Statement.

Aligning Your LIFE With Your Underlying Principle

The final step in this journey is to map your path to your ultimate purpose and to begin implementing changes that help to align your daily life with your underlying purpose. Take a moment to brainstorm on the little things that you can do right now to cultivate the energy and environment you want to be in. By making these little changes in your lifestyle, you will be able to begin living this principle out each and every day. It might take a few days, but by becoming aware and intentional of this underlying principle of your life, you will certainly start to feel the difference in your enthusiasm for life as a whole. If you realize that you love being amidst nature, plan out vacations and outings. Maybe an outing with your children or friends can be the start as you create even more ways to get into the environment that helps you thrive most. If you discover that you enjoy helping those in need, start to look for opportunities to volunteer in your community. On the other hand, you might even want to change your job, or start a new business that is more in line with your mission.

Whatever it is that you desire to do, know that it is in you to do- or else you wouldn’t have had the idea or desire in the first place.

So, there you have it! By following along with the steps outlined above, you will be on your way to finding and living out your purpose. And, as you go through this process, just remember, “You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.” – Steve Maraboli

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

How to Master the Art of Gratitude to Achieve Success.

Hey Boo!

Gratitude.

I’m sure you have heard this word a million times before and you know that it simply means a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Gratitude may seem like an abstract or pointless concept to some, but the act of showing gratitude is actually rather simple and effective to implement. Knowing the power and potential of showing gratitude and subsequently applying it accordingly can be the single most decisive factor in ensuring better degrees of success for yourself.

Let’s dwell a little on exactly what gratitude can do for you and subsequently your success. Gratitude instills a positive feeling in you and the people you show it to. It alters your perspective of negative feelings, thoughts, or beliefs you may have of yourself or others by alerting these feelings, thoughts and beliefs to the things you are grateful for. Gratitude raises your awareness and focus and it can inspire you to achieve better for yourself and the people around you.

Although there are numerous other benefits to showing authentic gratitude, there are many people who neglect to shower themselves or the people around them with it. Instead, they put themselves and others down through criticism and condemnation.

Quick Gratitude Check

Answer the questions below to boost your level of gratitude:

Are there obstacles that are holding you back from showing gratitude to yourself and to others? If so, write them down.

How can you overcome these obstacles?

How actions can you take to unleash an onslaught of gratitude to yourself and to others?

The ‘obstacles’ mentioned above are typically negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs that you may possess that are not only hindering you from showing gratitude but they are likely also hindering you from success.

I use a process to overcome negative thoughts and feelings that I’ll refer to as Question, Debunk, Reaffirm. (I don’t know if it has an official name and I’m not trying to take credit for creating it. I may have read it in a CBT workbook. But it works!) First, I question the validity of the negative thought. Then I debunk the myth or limiting belief responsible for that thought. Next, I reaffirm with a positive new belief to replace the negative one. Questioning the validity (and significance) of your negative thoughts and feelings instead of giving way to them often cause us to realize that we may have been getting all worked up for nothing. Overcoming mental obstacles is a very important topic, however, the chief aim of this blog is to show you the importance of showing gratitude and how you can go about doing it. As such, I will not touch in depth about how to overcome these negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs. But if you would like to find out more, please reach out to me directly. Follow Glow with Mimi on Facebook or join the Resilient Brave Beings private Facebook group.

Now that you are clearer about the benefits of gratitude, let’s first talk about how you can start showing gratitude to yourself. To start doing this, you must first be appreciative of all your achievements – big or small – that you have experienced so far in your life. Ask yourself: when was the last time you actually rewarded yourself for those achievements? If you have constantly been doing so, then good for you and keep it up. If not, then it’s about time you start indulging or pampering yourself with some simple or extravagant (whichever is appropriate) rewards for all your past achievements and future ones.

Next be appreciative of the things you have – your job, home, wealth, health, family, food and surroundings. I know it can be rather impossible to directly show gratitude to these things but no worries. You can list these things in a notebook or journal, and maybe even write down thank you notes for item to express your gratitude. Keep referring to this list when you’re feeling sad or depressed and you can instantly feel a surge of happiness or positive emotions.

So… we’ve covered how you can show gratitude to yourself and the things around you. Now I will touch on how you can show gratitude to the people around you. There are many ways you can express your gratitude to the people around you but I will only list the few I feel are important and simple to perform. Feel free to add your own and implement them as you see fit.

Instead of putting down, insulting and complaining about the people around or working under you, try complementing, praising and appreciating them for all they have done for your well-being and your achievements. By doing this, you gain their respect and trust and they are more likely to continually assist you to achieve better.

Make a thank you list of all the people you are grateful for and constantly refer to this list to give yourself a better and greater feeling.

Give a simple verbal thank you, note of appreciation or even a thank you e-mail to express your gratitude to the people who have assisted you in achievements.

Shower the people you are grateful for with small or big cards, gifts, presents or rewards to clearly show them how much you appreciate them.

Or simply provide the people around you with gifts that cannot be bought with cash like your valuable time, your sacrifice or something that is of utmost importance to you.

Gratitude. Always bear in mind that when you show gratitude to yourself, the things and the people around you, you will definitely hold the key to unlocking your personal growth and ultimately your success.

That’s all I have for you until next Thursday. In the meantime, be authentic, be grateful, and always- keep Glowing…

Personal Development Power Tips

Hello Beautiful Soul!

This week, I want to provide some tips on one of the everlasting goals in life- personal development. Personal Development, at its basis, is anything that allows us to grow into an ordered life that is of our choosing. This is one of the most cherished goals among self-improvement practitioners. There are some excellent methods available for achieving it. Personal development may seem a bit overwhelming at times, so here are a few hints and tips to get you started.

Clean the clutter from your life

There is an excellent saying in the personal development field, “a tidy desk is a tidy mind”. Oftentimes, your outer environment is a reflection of the way you think and feel. Is your living or work space always cluttered? It’s important that you start to order your environment to reflect the ordered life you are building. Clear away unnecessary clutter from your surroundings. This may sound like a meaningless task, but you are sending a very clear message to your subconscious mind that you intend to get organized. When you begin to organize your living and work environment it allows you to develop the basic skills needed for organizing your life. This can be achieved through goals. You should structure your goals in such a way that each one builds on the other and ensure that they are not in opposition to one another.

Don’t have your goal too ‘set in stone’

A major factor in the non-attainment of goals is the inability to restructure plans and change direction when circumstances dictate these should be done. Remain flexible.

Don’t focus on the mistakes

There’s absolutely no need to agonize over every little imperfect detail. Simply analyze them and learn the lesson they are trying to teach you. By staying focused on your failures, problems or toils you are creating more of them or at least keeping them in your experience. Focus on the solutions or at least focus on the fact “your still in the game”. Consider any mistakes you’ve made as life lessons. Apply what you have learned from them and use them as references (of what not to do) in the future.

Make sure you follow through on your plans

Action and persistence can accomplish things that nothing else can. A plan without action is simply a dream that will never come true. To see success we must believe in our dream, form a plan, take action, and then remain diligent in performing those tasks until we see the result we desire.

Have you ever given up on a dream and regretted it? Did you ever wonder just how close you were to accomplishing your goal before you quit? Did you accept temporary lack of motivation as a ‘sign’ that you should give up?

Lack of motivation isn’t necessarily a sign to give up on your goal. Some people get excited and motivated at the start of a venture but find their enthusiasm waning as time goes on. If you’re one of those people, be sure to check in with yourself and discover if you’re unmotivated due to natural ebb and flow, (you’re not going to feel excitement all the time and that’s okay) or if your lack of motivation is truly lack of desire. Understand that your goal may take some time and effort to achieve and continue forward with persistence. Those who persist, especially in times like these, are those who ALWAYS win!

Until next time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

10 New Beliefs to Empower Your Life

Hello Beautiful Souls!

What we believe about ourselves and the world greatly affects how happy- or unhappy- we are in life. If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, it is highly likely that you have some limiting or toxic beliefs preventing you from being the person you were meant to be. Below is the list of the ten toxic beliefs that make women more susceptible to mistreatment, and the new empowering beliefs that you should learn in order to establish boundaries and live authentically.

Toxic Belief #1 Other people’s feelings and needs are more important than my own.

New Empowering Belief #1: My needs and feelings are just as important as anyone else’s.

Toxic Belief #2 The best way to ensure that I am safe from harm is to be nice to people.

New Empowering Belief #2: I am kind by choice because I can protect myself from harm.

Toxic Belief #3: What other people think of me is of paramount importance.

New Empowering Belief #3: My perception of myself is much more important than anyone’s opinion of me.

Toxic Belief #4: I need to be perfect in order to be loved and accepted.

New Empowering Belief #4: I am amazing and worthy of love just as I am.

Toxic Belief #5: I don’t have a right to stand up for myself.

New Empowering Belief #5: I have a right to defend myself and to do what’s best for me.

Toxic Belief #6: Others are responsible for my wellbeing.

I am a capable woman and my wellbeing is my responsibility.

Toxic Belief #7: Anger is a destructive emotion and shouldn’t be expressed.

New Empowering Belief #7: Anger is a healthy emotion and can be used for constructive change.

Toxic Belief #8: Conflict is to be avoided at all costs.

New Empowering Belief #8: Conflict is a part of life and can be an opportunity for greater intimacy.

Toxic Belief #9: There is good in everyone, and people deserve multiple chances to prove it.

New Empowering Belief #9: I prioritize my boundaries over giving second chances.

Toxic Belief #10: Women need men to protect them and to support them financially.

New Empowering Belief #10: I am more than capable of protecting and providing for myself.

These toxic beliefs have put many women in harmful situations, some of which had fatal endings. It is very important to unlearn toxic or limiting beliefs, reclaim your power and take responsibility for your wellbeing so that you’re not just surviving, but living life on your own terms. Thriving and glowing from the inside, out.

There will be another Toxic Beliefs and People Pleasing Workshop later on this year, I’m not quite sure when yet so keep your eyes open for that. Also, the tickets for the From Grieving to Glowing workshop are available on Eventbrite. We will be discussing the effects of narcissistic abuse and some techniques to combat those effects so mark your calendars and I’ll see you on February 24, 2024!

Well Boo, that’s all I have for you this week. Remember that you are unique, divine, and capable of great things.