Hey Boo!
To close the subject of self-sabotage (for now, at least) I wanted to write this blog post revealing the many faces of it. If left unchecked, self-sabotage can exacerbate or cause anxiety, distorted thoughts, and awaken a harsh inner critic that hurls us into survival mode with its overthinking. It’s vital that we recognize the signs of self-sabotage so that we can adjust our behavior and redirect ourselves. Self-sabotage can show up in our lives in many ways: in our career, education, romantic partnerships, friendships and family dynamics, and even in our health. Here is the list of ways that self-sabotage can occur in each of these categories.
Self-Sabotage in Your Career
It’s not uncommon for self-sabotaging habits to show up most in our career, in fact according to the Self-Sabotage Workbook by The Daily Wellness, the career is the area that people who self-sabotage struggle with the most. Here are the nine signs of self-sabotage in your career to look out for:
- Indecision. You struggle or hesitate to make decisions and choose behaviors that block you from achieving your goals. (This is likely due to overthinking or self-doubt)
- Not Taking Risks. Taking calculated risks is essential for career growth, but if you’re afraid to take risks you may be missing out on great opportunities.
- Not Staying Organized. If you can’t stay organized, you may miss important deadlines or forget to take care of tasks.
- Not Being Proactive. Waiting for instructions or tasks to be handed to you is not the best way to get ahead. Initiative is needed to move forward.
- Not Setting Goals. Without goals, you don’t have anything to strive for, and that can lead to complacency.
- Refusing to Accept Constructive Criticism. If you’re not willing to listen to criticism and learn from it, you may be hindering your career progress.
- Not Seeking Feedback. Not taking the time to get feedback from your peers or supervisors can keep you from understanding and improving your skills and performance.
- Failing to Focus on Development. Investing in yourself through training and development is essential, especially if you want to move up in your field.
- Seeking Comfort. You might stay in your career comfort zone due to fear of failure of uncertainty.
Self-Sabotage in Your Education
Education and schooling can highlight strengths and weaknesses, and future goals, which can often bring about self-sabotaging behaviors like professionalism and procrastination. Self-Sabotage in your education shows up in these eight ways:
Procrastinating. Putting off studying, completing assignments and other tasks that are essential for academic success.
Being Disorganized. Not having a plan for completing tasks or deadlines, or not keeping track of important dates and materials.
Lack of Focus. Not being able to concentrate on the task at hand and allowing distractions to get in the way of learning.
Not Asking For Help. Not seeking advice or assistance from teachers, tutors, or peers when needed.
Not Taking Breaks. Trying to cram too much studying in a short period of time, which can lead to burn-out.
Unrealistic Expectations. Setting goals that are too difficult to achieve or not allowing for any mistakes.
Not Taking Responsibility. Blaming others for mistakes or not taking ownership of a situation.
Not Making Healthy Choices. Not getting enough sleep eating unhealthy foods or engaging in other activities that can affect your ability to focus.
Self-Sabotage in Your Romantic Partnerships
Previous traumas, childhood relationships with your parents, and self-esteem are some of the biggest factors that can contribute to you self-sabotaging your romantic relationships. Here are 13 ways that self-sabotaging can affect romantic relationships:
Not communicating openly and honestly
Blaming the other person for your own issues
Resisting vulnerability
Putting up walls
Not being able to forgive
Having unrealistic expectations
Having a lack of trust
Making assumptions about the other person
Not respecting boundaries
Constantly seeking reassurance, validation, or approval
Using the silent treatment to punish the other person
Allowing outside influences to interfere in the relationship
Not taking the time to nurture the relationship
Self-Sabotage in Your Friendships/Family
Relationships with friends and family members are layered and complex. It can often bring about questions about your self-worth, self-esteem, having to practice boundaries, and unconscious behaviors you may not be aware of. There are nearly 20 ways to sabotage your relationship with family members or friends. Here they are:
Not making time for friends or not showing up when plans are made.
Making negative comments about others.
Being unreliable or not following through on promises.
Withholding compliments or downplaying another person’s successes.
Refusing to listen or hear out another person’s point of view.
Failing to be honest or keeping secrets from friends.
Jealousy or feeling threatened by another person’s successes.
Blaming others for one’s own mistakes.
Not being supportive of friends/family members during difficult times.
Gossiping or talking badly about other people or friends.
Comparing one’s friends to others or putting them down.
Not respecting boundaries or taking advantage of the friendship.
Ignoring or disrespecting a friend’s feelings.
Not apologizing when wrong or not taking responsibility for mistakes.
Not giving your friends the same attention as you give to others.
Being overly competitive or trying to one-up friends.
Making friends feel like they’re not important or not valued.
Not being honest about one’s feelings or intentions.
Not being flexible or open to compromise.
Not being present or engaged when spending time with friends or family members.
And last but certainly not least-
Self-Sabotage in Your Health
People often self-sabotage their health by having unhealthy habits and attitudes that can lead to physical and mental issues. Here are ten ways that we sabotage our physical health:
Eating a diet poor in nutrients
Not getting enough sleep
Not drinking enough water
Failing to exercise regularly
Not taking your medication
Drinking or smoking excessively
Neglecting your mental health
Excessive social media use
Engaging in dangerous activities
Not making time for hobbies or relaxation
Being aware of the many ways that we self-sabotage can help us avoid these tendencies or habits and adjust early on. As they say, prevention is better than treatment and the goal is to break the cycle of self sabotage and thrive on the greatest level of authenticity.
Until Next Time Beautiful Soul, keep Glowing…
Inner Glow Blog 