Tag: self love

Creating the Best Year of Your Life!

Self-Reflect Your Way to a Glow-Up

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I am so excited about this blog! This is something that I stumbled upon in my archives. (Oh yeah, I have loads of content for all my readers and followers, so hold on to your hats!!) And be sure to check out my website www.glowwithmimi.com for ebooks on financial and life coaching topics.

Oh! Where was I? Yes, Creating the best year of your life!

At the end of each year, and on their birthdays, many people take time to reflect and look ahead. If you’re one of these people, or if you would like to start getting the benefits from a little self-reflection, I have some great questions for you.

These questions can be looked at once a year, once a month or whenever you’re looking for some direction in your life. I invite you to take a good hard look at your life more than once a year. You’ll get a lot more out of your life if you’re more conscious about what you’re creating.

These questions have been designed to help you to take time to complete the year and to formulate the new year from a clean slate. By working on the following questions, you will complete this year powerfully so you can have the room to build a new “me” for the new year.

Looking at this past year:

1. What do I want to be acknowledged for?

2. What did I accomplish?

3. What did I want to accomplish that I did not accomplish? (Do I still want to do this?)

4. What did I say I would do that I didn’t do? (Do I still want to do this?)

5. Who do I need to be in communication with? 5a. Who do I need to cease communication with?

6. What were my biggest disappointments? 6a. Can those disappointments be avoided moving forward?

7. What did I learn? – List 3 lessons which will make the most difference if you remember them this year?

(See them as guidelines for next year).

Changing patterns:

1. How do you limit yourself and how can you transform these actions to be powerful?

2. What do you say to yourself to explain your failures? (These false beliefs are your limiting paradigm).

3. List your limiting paradigm.

4. List your new paradigm which must be personal, positive, present tense, powerfully and simply stated, pointing to an exciting future.

5. Read your new paradigm out loud when you awake and before going to sleep each day. Teach your subconscious that this is your paradigm.

Looking ahead:

1. What are your personal values? What is most important to you in your life? What drives you?

2. What roles do you play in your life? Rate each role on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the most important.

3. Where is your life out of balance? If you could put one problem behind you, once and for all, what would it be?

4. Which role is your major focus for next year? (In what role do you want a breakthrough performance? If you could put a check mark by one of these roles at the end of next year showing, showing that you felt good about how you are playing that role, which one would it be?)

5. What are your goals for each role?

The way that this works is that for at least a week or two you ask yourself the above questions. I write them down and do it in writing several different times. Then after doing that for all of the above questions you answer one final question:

What do I want to accomplish and who do I want to be in the coming year?

Wow! Awesome right? Write these questions down and answer them honestly. Not for anyone else, but for you. If you do this exercise and apply what you’ve written, you are well on your way to Creating the Best Year of Your Life!

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls, keep Glowing…

Coaching Blog:

Out of The Quicksand

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I wanted to talk to you a bit about some things that I’ve been thinking about lately. I’ve been really busy over the last few weeks. I’ve been making it a point to work hard, maximize my time, and ‘apply pressure’ and sometimes, quite frankly I feel like the only one feeling the pressure is me. I get locked in. I become overly focused, and so intense that I wear myself down. Sometimes I feel stuck. Almost as if I’m caught in quicksand. If you sometimes feel as though you’re caught in life’s quicksand, you have a lot of company. We work, we struggle, we try to do everything we possibly can to move on to a higher level of well-being but it seems like the harder we work, the more stuck we get. If you’re approaching a Category 5 frustration level, you might want to give this a try…

Switch your focus from that really nice – but frustrated – person in the mirror to another beautiful soul who inhabits this good earth.

Self-love and self-care is a must, and focus is absolutely necessary. We need to set goals, lay out plans and then take action on those plans to make progress toward our goals. We need to demonstrate personal financial responsibility, plan for retirement and frequently cover our backsides so that they don’t get chewed off by one or more of life’s rodents.

However, what frequently happens is that we become so over-focused on ourselves and our own personal well-being that we wind up building huge walls. We lose the ability – or even desire – to see the bigger picture and the possibilities that life presents to us. We become so focused on “me” that we sometimes begin scrutinizing even the most insignificant events to determine their potential impact on our personal lives. We become victims to ourselves. And to be real honest about it, we sometimes just become so busy being busy that we lose track of where we thought we wanted our lives to wind up in the first place.

One possible solution as I mentioned earlier is to change our focus from “me” to “we”. From being the receiver to being the giver. And no, I’m not even implying that this requires any major change in the things we do every day. It may eventually lead to that but it’s not a critical part of the initial process.

Here’s what I mean. No matter what you do to earn a living or keep the household moving in a logical direction, somewhere down the line a real person will probably benefit from what you do. Think about it. The work we do is not just to stuff computer systems full of information or help machines work better. It’s not just to take people’s money so we’ll have a paycheck at the end of the week. It’s not just filling out forms, nailing pieces of boards together, assembling electronic devices, hauling packages, going to meetings, etc. Somewhere, sometime (and maybe immediately) another human being will likely be positively affected by what you do.

And yes, if you’re paying attention, you’ve noticed that I’ve used a couple of cop-out words in the preceding paragraph – “likely” and “probably”. I had to do that because in the real world there are some individuals whose money-making efforts are focused mainly on “non-beneficial” activities. That’s just the way the world is.

For the rest of us however, our activities and work generally reflect a more positive endeavor. That leads us back to the original suggestion. If you are caught in the quicksand, take a few minutes to really think about the people – the individuals who will be better off, healthier or happier because of what you do, and because of who you are. Think about how you are giving of your time and talents so that others will profit in some way from your efforts.

Do you see what can happen here? When we change our focus from “me” to “we”, our work – the things we do every day – starts taking on a new significance. We become givers. Our life is beautiful and meaningful. We know that what we do is truly important to someone else. That’s pretty awesome, isn’t it?

If you’re having to really stretch your imagination to see at least one other person benefiting from the things you do and it’s really not fitting together, you might consider looking into a different occupation – or at least a different way to spend your free time. There are a bunch of people who could really benefit from your talents. Think about what you do well – what you enjoy doing that could help others have a better life. Then go do it. You’ll be out of the quicksand before you know it.

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls

Breaking Agreements

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I was saying my affirmations early one morning (I couldn’t sleep) and I came across one of the affirmations that I’d created based on the book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is a great book. If you haven’t read it, I think you should.

The affirmation that I was referring to is ‘I break all agreements that do not resonate with my calling or soul purpose.’ An agreement is a limiting belief that you have accepted as the truth. These agreements in many cases, prevent us from accomplishing our dreams and deepest desires. (For Example: I really want to be a singer, but I only have a one in a billion chance.)

An agreement can be made by accepting negative thoughts or statements as the truth. They could be your own negative thoughts based on unpleasurable experiences, or statements made by others. When these agreements are made, they continue to work against us subconsciously until they are broken. And as we go through life we pick up more and more agreements. All of these agreements that we collect as we go through life- from parents, teachers, coaches, classmates, relatives, churches, etc. The culmination of agreements over time can be quite paralyzing. If you’d like to break these agreements, follow these steps now!

Identify The Agreement

Whether the agreement is ‘I’ve always been clumsy’ because you remember falling down when you were four, or ‘you’ve never been as smart as the other kids’ from teachers or parents, this agreement can be broken. Ask yourself what limiting beliefs or agreements have your made that limit your success or hinder your happiness.

Once you’ve identified the agreement (or agreements) that you’ve accepted, go back in your mind to the route of it all. Get as close as you can to the origin of this feeling or agreement. Once you’ve found the earliest memory of this agreement, go to the next step.

Break it Down

When breaking down an agreement, be as thorough and as honest as you can.

Ask yourself questions like:

*Is there any truth to this agreement? (Per our example) Are you really clumsy? Or were you distracted by something that caused you to lose your balance and fall?

*Is this agreement still relevant? Sometimes we carry complexes and agreements that we created during childhood. (For example: developing a fear of public speaking because you had a lisp when you were eight years old.)

In most cases, the agreement is untrue. In the cases where there is truth to the agreement, there is surely a solution to it. Break down the situation in your mind and realize that there is always room for growth and you are not bound by your past or by the beliefs of others.

If you asked yourself the above questions, and feel that there may be some validity to the agreements that you wish to break, ask yourself this question:

Can the situation be remedied?

Is it possible that you could be more careful in the future and thus, ‘not be clumsy’ anymore? Look to see if there are classes that you can take, or research that you could do to educate yourself about the limiting belief/agreement that you’ve made.

Journal and Affirm

Once you’ve identified the agreement and applied the applicable steps, journal about it. Write as much as you need to about the agreement. What it is, how it makes you feel, whether or not it’s valid, and the steps that you are taking to improve yourself.

Break the Agreement by saying aloud: “I break the agreement of____________________________ . This no longer has any influence over my life.” Say the affirmation as often as you need, so that you believe it and program your mind to release that harmful belief.

You can also research or create affirmations to encourage new agreements that you’d like to place in your life instead.

Never underestimate the power of your mind! You can do anything you set your mind to do!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls

The Benefits of Authentic Self- Love

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I have been working on some really useful content, and I’m happy to announce that I have personal development e-books available for purchase on SamCart that can help you change your life. At the moment, I have four e-books available:

Awaken Your True Calling

Gain Mental Clarity

The Gratitude Plan

Love Thyself

This week, I’m going to talk about the benefits of authentic self-love and highlight some of the points in my self-love e-book entitled Love Thyself. Enjoy!

Self-Love is the ultimate way to boost your self-esteem and become a fully healed and integrated human being. But so many people misunderstand what self-love truly is and how important it is to own our happiness. Truth be told, there are many people who do not have authentic self-love.

What is Self-Love?

There are many levels and descriptions of self-love and it can get complicated the more people you ask. To put it simply, self-love is honesty and acceptance of yourself. Self-Love is being in love with the person you are still evaluating yourself and striving to improve. Love literally powers the world. If you don’t love yourself, then you do not have power over yourself.

Here are some self-love exercises to help you strengthen your sense of self:

Shift Your Thoughts

The waking and sleeping hours are a prime time to master your thoughts and emotions. As you drift off to sleep, shift your thoughts to something positive or pleasant. These states are more powerful and set the tone for the rest of the day and night.

Journal

Keeping a gratitude journal is perfect for appreciating who you are and all that you have accomplished. The more you focus on things to be grateful for, the more things to be grateful for come to mind. A grateful mindset elevates your sense of self because you now have a positive mindset, and a positive mindset raises your level of self-love and self-awareness.

Prioritize Yourself

This is something that I mention in The Evolution as well. This step is paramount in the journey of self-love and self-discovery. Put yourself first with vacations, massages, extreme sports, concerts- whatever it is that you want to do. Unplug from technology and remove yourself from your everyday concerns for a few days or a few hours. You deserve supreme enjoyment, and it is what you are here for. Sadly, most people think that life is supposed to be a painful chore and create stress for themselves. Do not do this to yourself.

Do Not Interfere

Stop interfering with others at all costs. Unsolicited advice or actions from outside sources are rarely received well. Although we may have good intentions, interfering in someone else’s life is imposing our will on them and it is not our place to do that. It is important to be mindful of the boundaries of others, just as others should be mindful of your boundaries.

There seems to be some sort of virus going around where people are trying to make the world a better place by pointing out everything that’s wrong with the world and the people in it. But this is counterproductive. We must focus on ourselves as individuals first. If you do not focus on your own self-development, you will stifle yourself and elevation won’t be possible. And then you may find others interfering in your life in a similar fashion.

Meditate on Love

Meditation on love or focusing on the heart chakra is a chief recommendation among ancient spiritual scriptures. The heart chakra is a doorway to the higher self. If you put your energy there for extended periods of time, you’re sure to feel a wonderful shift and rise to your vibrational frequency. Heart work can be challenging, but it’s worth it.

Well, those are some of the highlights from the e-book. If you’d like more tips and self-love help, go ahead and purchase my e-book entitled Love Thyself.

You’re definitely worth it!

Until Next Time, Beautiful Souls…

Confidence Boost Part 2

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I know that I already did a blog on confidence, but since confidence is one of the pillars of self-love (and an area that I struggled in immensely) I thought I’d share a few more tips with you. These tips, along with the tips from the previous confidence boosting blog have helped me rebuild my confidence after my experience with narcissistic abuse and codependency. For best results, implement as many of these tips as you can into your everyday life.

Don’t Worry about what Others Think

This step is often over complicated by societal norms, expectations, and agreements that we’ve made- whether knowingly or unknowingly- throughout our lives. But we must get out of our heads, get out of our own way, remove those constructs and do what’s best for us no matter what people think of our actions.

Always Consider:

That a person’s opinions are solely based on their own perceptions and understanding.

That you are valid with or without the positive opinions or support of others.

That this is your life, so:

Be Fearless

You are a unique being and this is a unique experience. You will only do this once. Each person on earth, whether they are aware of it or not, is on a mission for personal happiness and fulfillment. You are absolutely deserving of happiness; in fact, it is your right to be happy in this life. True happiness can only be achieved when you do the things that bring you joy. You become fearless when you do the things that please you without fear of judgment and open up to change and opportunities that help you grow and elevate.

Be Yourself

What better way to be confident is there than being yourself? A lot of discontent is caused and further exacerbated by people being who other people want them to be rather than who they really are. When you free yourself from the expectations of others and be yourself your happiness will skyrocket! But who are you really? To discover your true self, you will need to do some honest self-evaluation and reflection. Spend some time alone, get to know yourself inside and out. This is a sure way to know, understand, and love yourself authentically. Once you find the real you- you wouldn’t want to be anyone else!

Monitor Your Progress

Take the process one day at a time and be gentle with yourself when you fall short of your expectations. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Years of programming is not likely to fall away in a week or two. This process is not to be rushed. It takes time and consistent effort. Be aware of your emotions, energy shifts that you may feel, and things that trigger you. Trust yourself and do not ignore your intuition. These feelings work as a signal light to let you know that something needs to be fixed or adjusted. And don’t be afraid to call in reinforcements! Statistically, people are much more likely to complete a task when they create a plan or have an accountability partner.

I really help that these tips do you some good. I apply them to my life and they are doing great things for my confidence.

Until Next Time Beautiful Souls!

Relinquish my Strength?! Uh, No.

Hello, beautiful souls 💖

I’d like to discuss something that has been tugging on my heart strings lately. Ive noticed that there has been a reel trending on social media about ‘strong black women’. In case you aren’t familiar with it, it goes a little something like this:

I am not a strong black woman. I am delicate, fragile, and I can’t do it all on my own…

There’s more to the reel, and I don’t remember the audio verbatim but I’d like to address the sentiment. I viewed this audio as a cry for help from my queens who are tired of carrying the load alone.

Being strong is a blessing and a curse in today’s society. When a person is strong, they are often given more weight to carry. The growing assumption is that since you’ve carried so much, you can carry a little more…and a bit more…and wait, here’s a little more. People typically don’t check on or offer assistance to strong people. And that can cause even the strongest of people to be weary.

Yet, strength is a gift. It is earned based on perseverance and is the by product of experience and wisdom. Strength is an invaluable attribute that should be celebrated.

I am strong.

I didn’t think of myself as strong at one point. I endured quite a bit of misfortune as well as mistreatment from people I loved and to be honest I felt anything but strong. At times I felt broken, lost, and out of control. And that’s okay too. A strong person doesn’t feel strong all the time. In fact, a person is strong because they go through painful experiences and still stand.

Strength is often appreciated in the hard times. In relationships I was often commended for my strength when I helped my mate with an issue they were facing or found a solution to a problem when my partner didn’t have one. But when I stood up for myself, I was told often that I was “too strong”.

What does that mean?!

The same strength that was admired and appreciated was quickly shunned and viewed as a negative attribute once I established some boundaries. That is not how things work.

That being said, strength is an attribute that I’ve earned and I will not relinquish my strength so that a person will accept me. I am strong, I am soft, I am fierce, I am sweet. I am human. We are human. And we all deserve to be loved and accepted as we are.

Until next time, beautiful souls 💖

Use the Power of Choice to Discover your Purpose!

Hello beautiful souls 💖

Do you wonder what your purpose in life is? Do you grow weary of drifting through life feeling unfulfilled? If you feel that way, you aren’t alone.

Determining what our purpose is in life can be one of the hardest questions that we as humans must try to answer. In this blog, we will explore our feelings and options, and by the end, we should have a fairly solid tool to help give our lives a more meaningful direction!

There are three steps to the process of discovering the purpose of your life:

1. Understanding the Principle of Choice.

2. Creating your ‘Underlying Principle’

3. Aligning your Life with this Underlying Principle

Understanding the Principle of Choice

Norman Vincent Peale has this to say about the Power Of Choice: “The greatest power we have is the power of Choice. It is an actual fact, that if you have been groping under unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous instead. And, by effort, lift yourself into joy. If you tend to be fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have courage. The whole trend and the quality of anyone’s life is determined by the choices that are made.”

Choosing is the most important activity of our minds, because by making a choice, we are proclaiming our desires to the subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind gets to know our desires, it does everything in its power to manifest those desires in our lives. The things the we choose become goals to the subconscious mind. And if we are sincere in pursuing them, there is no reason why we would not accomplish those goals.

Naturally then, it’s reasonable to deduce that indecision prevents us from accomplishing our goals. It not only creates frustration and anxiety; but indecision confuses the subconscious mind about what we want. That is not at all to suggest making snap decisions or behaving impulsively. We should always follow our intuition and make decisions that are in accordance to our true desires and purpose.

A lot of us let others make choices for us, or make choices according to societal norms or cultural stereotypes. Sometimes we make these choices even though they go against our own wishes. We must not make our life decisions based on the desires of other people. What is right for one individual may not be right for another, and the way to know what’s right for you is to listen to what your heart says.

So, to begin the process, make a list of things that interest you. Add things you’ve always enjoyed, things that make you feel better, that inspire you, etc.

Whatever it is that interests you, write it down and answer these questions:

What thing do you love to do?

What is it that you love about that thing, and why?

How could you do this for money, and make a living out of it?

Creating your Underlying Principle

The next step is to examine the list you made and find out if there is a recurring theme. Then, take the central theme of the things you love to do, and try to put it in a short and precise statement. This will be your Mission Statement. It could be a quote by a famous person, or a philosophy that has influenced you. The mission statement doesn’t have to be permanent; it can grow and change as you do. Go ahead and write down your Mission Statement 🙂

Aligning your Life with Your Underlying Principle

Now that you have your Mission Statement, it’s time to map out the path to your ultimate purpose. By implementing small changes and remaining consistent to them, you will begin living out your underlying principle each and every day. By becoming aware and intentional of this underlying principle of your life, you will certainly start to feel the difference in your enthusiasm for life as a whole. Create time and space to bring the things on your list into your life. If you find that you like being in nature, plan a camping trip or visit a national park.

You could even change professions or start a business that more closely aligns with your Mission.

So..there it is!

By following the steps mentioned above, you will be on your way to finding and living out your purpose. And as you go through this process, always remember that –

“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously. ” – Steve Maraboli

Until next time beautiful souls 💖